Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,LC yep posting here is a big help,I journal too but it's different when we're needing support to have a group that can jump in and read our writings Pav,yes it was alot of work watching the baby but very fun and I've wished for the past two weeks I was there instead of here,think I'm getting Vegas'd out,I'll hafta see where this city is a couple of years from now,there's just too many people moving here,it's getting expensive and it's dusty all the time! Was looking at where my youngest daughter is in Oregon and wow talk about expensive! Don't think I could swing Portland it's nearly as pricey as California,waves to all and wishes for a great AF day

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I journal too but it's different when we're needing support to have a group that can jump in and read our writings

There is a reason there are so many support groups out there. Heck, our nest-mom [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION] belongs to 3 that I know about! Humans are social creatures - our group is much more than the sum of the individuals in it.

I tried several times to quit drinking on my own to various degrees of success but ultimately let myself down each time. I needed something bigger than me - this group - to make a commitment to. I didn't value or trust myself enough to carry that load. You all carried it for me and I didn't want to let you down. Enough time sober and I didn't want to disappoint the slowly re-emerging NoSugar, either. Now I'm just glad I never need to drink again and have a brain healthy enough to make the logical choice not to do so.

But... I know I generally forget 'the bad' and am inclined to believe the big stories I tell myself, so I'm still here 6+ years later. I want to be accountable to you. It takes some time but really, not that much, and it is much less than the hours I wasted in self-recrimination and daily recovery from the night before. It is a 'life job' like stretching and brushing my teeth. I want to be part of that body that is bigger than the self that others can hopefully become accountable to and find their ways out.

I think 'giving back' is the right thing to do in the moral sense but it is so much more. I want for every addict the freedom that comes from quitting. It is so sad to remember the years I wasted, awash in fear, and so want to help spare anyone from that.

Alcohol gives you nothing that isn't already within you. There is no ingredient in a drink that eliminates anxiety. Drinking enough just dulls you enough not to think about the thing that makes you anxious. You can do that on your own anytime. Let that thought GO. Just because you think something doesn't make it true and it is pointless to think about things that just make you feel bad. Thinking about being anxious doesn't make you less anxious - it just feeds the anxiety. Tell yourself, "I can handle this", and you will.

I'm glad you're back, [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION]. It sounds like you made a mistake and learned from it. Instead of thinking about it and telling yourself you can't be trusted, make a positive plan for the upcoming weekend and think about that. I used to visualize upcoming challenges and "see" myself handling them (and feeling good about it!). Then when you're in it, you can just do it.

And if something comes up that you didn't expect, fall back on the "But I don't drink" mantra. No matter what happens, you don't drink. xx, NS

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

A quick check in for me. I think i am over winter, still cold in the morning at 4.30am and when i walk out its glorious. i dont know whether i am "Arthur or Marthur" (as my mother used to say).

I was checking on a patient this morning as he wants to speak with a consultant and i was stunned at what alcohol does to people. This person had a very high al intake and had a brain haemorrage at 53 (related to al from the notes). This makes me appreciate being sober. Its just such a way of life for me now that i need reality checks like this to reinforce why i dont drink and why i never will again.

LC sorry to hear you drank, glad to hear you realised it was pointless. We gather the tools along the way to deal with these situations. As i said to someone who was new that their toolbag had a hammer and mine was packed to the brim with tools to deal with situations. As you go along you gather those tools until in time your toolbag is full also. Each situation we find ourselves in gives us a better understanding of how to deal without drinking.

I am going away this weekend and looking forward to the break out in the country. lots of walking and resting. Carl starts big boy dog training next week. it will be nice when he has manners so i can take him visiting. I could take my mads anywhere and she was just wonderful. He is still a joy and makes me smile every day.

Big hellos to everyone.

Well back to the salt mines. Take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just an average day here but wanted to say hello to all

LC, it really helped me to constantly repeat to myself - I don’t drink anymore. Eventually my brain got the message & then I was able to say it out loud when necessary without giving it a thought. You’re in the process of erasing an old habit/behavior with a brand new healthy habit. Keep repeating it until you get there too

Hello to Ava, hope you enjoy your weekend getaway. I

NS, I agree with you. None of my previous quits stuck because I had no support either. Having this group or any group is vital to finding success.

Pauly, come check out the east coast. I can show you around

Pav, I used to love my crockpot but it’s been collecting dust for the past 2 years since the Instant Pot arrived! You really can put a good meal together quickly & the cleanup is simple.

Wags, your schedule seems to work for you & that’s what counts!!!

G, hello to you, Byrdie & Kensho as well.

Have a safe night in the nest everyone!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all, meeting went well and time with the new boss was ok. I tried not to complain but answered his questions. He is so young! We’ll see how it goes, I’m too tired at the moment to think. The Air Conditioner unit in my room rattled all night so NO sleep. I got up and took the cover off but it didn’t help. 4.5 hour drive home. Glad I don’t drink. Hugs to all, Byrdie.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick fly-by this sober Thursday. Hope everyone has good days and eves. There's nothing that can be made better by drinking! Will catch up more fully later today.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Y'all!

Byrdie there's NOTHING worse than a rattling air conditioner in a bleach-infused room! I absolutely hate that. Sorry you had to endure it.

LC, glad to see you here. No one could tell me that it was time to stop drinking, I just had to try it one too many times until it clicked that I would never have the life I want with alcohol in it. It will click for you.

PAV / LAV... I love my instant pot too, and I find that it performs miracles, except with pork. It always comes out tough. SO I stick to the tried and true. I'll dig out the recipe and post it... my family loves it.

NS, thank you for the great words. I am noticing that somewhere in the last 3 months, that brain connection that was once so repulsed by alcohol has weakened. I remember hating alcohol, and I remember my thoughts about the subject. But I am finding it harder to actually feel those things. I have caught myself thinking "One day I'll have a little again...". I think I probably need to dig through my past posts to re-remember how miserable I was. I'm having trouble connecting with that, and romanticizing a little. I have no plans to drink - and because I'm not physically addicted at the moment, it isn't hard to say no. But I need to find that place of repulsion again so I feel stronger. My mind is there, my heart isn't. SO, some maintanance needed.

I'm off to my "big reveal" day. We spent a year putting together a luxurious room for charity and we install it today. It's the dessert of my job... what makes it all worth it. I love seeing how every decision along the way plays out when it all gets pout together. And this room had no client, so we really went out of the box and had some fun! We even chose feather pendant lights! I'll post a pic if I can get a good one!

Have a good day Everyone!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters, Byrdie when I was away the motel room had concrete beds so I understand your pain from not being able to get a decent night's sleep NS,that was a great post from you,thanks,Kensho, please post the recipe,I'm always looking for crockpot recipes especially for pork,it's hard to cook it in ways it doesn't taste so "porky" haha my mind has been going towards alcohol cuz theres a huge deal this weekend about those idiots trying to storm area 51 so Bud light came out with special edition alien cans and I just thought it was kind of cool and wanted a souvenir one but then I thought where the hell would I keep it anyways? I'm not a college kid who's gonna put it in my room,so I came to some sense and realized how stupid that thought was! Waves to the gang and wishes for a wonderful AF day

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Hah, Pauly. Steer clear of the aliens. Funny how those thoughts come into our lives. Yes, Portland isn't affordable. I would love to find a place that IS affordable, but I am sort of waiting to see where my kids end up - maybe I can settle close to be near some grandkids...

Kensho - that's exactly why I continue to post here (well there are lots of reasons, but that's one). When I get a case of "it wasn't so bad," I can come here and be reminded that YES, it WAS so bad. I remember the struggle and the fear, and I can keep the resolve to stay sober. Those feelings come less and less often as I settle into just being me, the non drinker. People know to offer me something else now. I was at a party and told a friend I was going to get a drink and he looked horrified. I had to remind him that a drink could be non alcoholic as well.

NS - That's a keeper. Maybe the tool box? Thoughts aren't always truths. I have to remember that!

Off to work. This week is going quickly. Take care of yourselves and don't drink!

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

@KENSHO Like you, I no longer "hate" alcohol -- it is hard for me to feel anything about it, really, just grateful to no longer think I love or need it. I still hate seeing what it does to people and families.

What keeps it all real for me is 1) hanging out here and 2)understanding addiction and how it works.

I'm currently listening to this fascinating book on Audible: https://www.amazon.com/Hacking-Ameri...42231830&psc=1

His real interest is in the processed food industry but he covers in a very understandable way the biochemistry and associated psychology of all addictions. It is so clear how our brains are "hijacked" by substances and activities and why, when there is money to be made, people cleverly exploit these human traits. Alcohol is one of the main examples he uses throughout the book, making it especially relevant to us.

@paulywogg, it sounds like those alien cans appealed to you like the Truly spiked fizzy water I saw last week did for me. Like the book I just mentioned explains, marketers are brilliant at tweaking our brains to make us want stuff!!

@Pavati, I would be happy to add my post to the toolbox but I find MWO so hard to navigate these days, I can't even find it!! I'll look for a link in someone's signature.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

A blustery warm morning for me today. summer is coming.

Weekend away cancelled, a relative is in hospital with influenza and sepsis and at 82 with dementia it is touch and go. Lucky for me he is in the hospital where i work so visiting is not an issue.

i know for me that i wont ever drink again, there are times that try me but i love my new life, i know that i have been given a second chance in life and my brother died from drinking. I also see a lot of alcoholics come into the hospital with serious illnesses which doesnt entice me to drink ever again. I also have a wonderful support network that keeps me accountable daily. Smoking however, well thats still touch and go but i just keep plodding along knowing that i will hate it eventually!

I started planting some veges for summer yesterday with the help of carl. we have a little fence around the garden of which he just loves to jump in and out of. if he wasnt so cute i might get mad at him.

Pauly, i love making pea and ham soup in the crock pot, i think i overdose on that in winter.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still nice & cool here, not looking forward to the heat up this weekend, ugh. I’m so over summer, can you tell? Ha ha!!
We went to visit an elderly friend who is 83 7 just moved into a brand new assisted living facility this summer. OMG, how nice that is (like hotel living at it’s finest)

Hi wags!
Kensho, come to think of it the only pork I buy anymore are tenderloins. I roast them up in my convection oven & they’re done in no time. I’m sure I’ve never seen a feather pendant light, gonna need a pic

Pauly, skip the beer can & wait, someone will put out a poster I’m sure.

Hi Pav, NS & Ava!
Byrdie, I wish I could get rid of that gray cloud hanging over you. Be safe getting home.

Hello to the rest & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Tell it, Lav. I feel like the good lord is testing me. Of course, I know things could be worse, so I try and keep perspective. I keep waiting for my big break, too. I think the long and short of it is that I’m getting too old to put up with the crap of corporate America.

I DO know this, I’m 1000 times better off now than when I was chasing my next drink. If I had put as much effort in to quitting as I did trying to moderate I’d have been to this point years sooner. It is a shame to chase something that’s never gonna happen (like getting a deal in this job!) ha! I wish I had accepted the reality that AL will kill me if I let it. I can not control it. Never could, never will. As hard as I tried, I knew the first day or two that I couldn’t do it. I felt SO deprived, cheated and angry. Then I would drink MORE! It was a NO win situation.

Those werent the days.
Looking forward to the weekend. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi,

Yes - chasing moderation! My favorite thing to say before I quit was "I better learn how to moderate better because I don't want to have to quit forever." Well, I never did learn to moderate - that ship had sailed. Now when I hear people say that their "off" switch is broken I know they're one of us. I really have never seen someone fix that off switch once it is really broken. I feel pretty sure that I had a broken off switch for my whole life as there were far too many times over the years when I "was over served." Other people got drunk and tipsy, but I was quite inebriated! Early on those episodes were few and far between, and we learn to cover, but I would say the writing was on the wall from a young age. Thank goodness I'm no longer fighting that demon - should I or shouldn't I? I just don't. So much easier.

NS, I have given up processed sugar and most refined carbs for this month in an effort to curb my addiction to them. It is amazing - I definitely don't crave ice cream they way I used to on Friday afternoons (ice cream had replaced my Friday cocktail as a reward for a hard week). I am still CRAVING the salty crunchies that are my favorite. I'll have to check out that book.

Byrdie - sorry the last part of your career is such a drag. It was a BS layoff from your other company just to start, and now you're dealing with such a circus of clowns. I hope that BIG deal comes in and you can retire once and for all.

Hi, all. Lav, I love a pork tenderloin - haven't had one in a while. Maybe for dinner tonight?

Happy SOBER Friday.
Pav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola y'all!

Quick flyby on my way to Area 51. Taking my guitar and hat to make a few bucks. Notes only folks. Most credit cards accepted.

For me i have found that the biggest enemy is within, and so is my best friend. So.....practicing to increase self awareness via daily breathing/reflection/meditation and some simple yoga i can handle. Learning how to manage my thoughts and feelings, and knowing now that i'm actually the boss, not the crazy babbling non sensical committee in my head. They live there with me, and a few others, so i'm discovering i can run the show with some knowledge, a kind but firm approach, and a daily check in with my head! lol. I keep it simple though. I don't like to think too much or work too hard on that stuff. Just a no stress daily check in helps keep me focused, unstressed and reasonably on track. When i get stressed, it's ok with me coz at least i can usually identify what it is and examine it to see if i need to do anything about it.

No ticket to boozeville here. It's just another day and opportunity to live gloriously in our own way.