Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Unhung Monday morning, Nesters..

Last night I was rewarded for my choices by deep sleep and crazy dreams I can remember.. no night sweats, no racing heartbeat, no gsr brothers, no self hate..
My eldest and I got soooo much done yesterday. I will admit I was quite stressed as she slowly began her part of the work (painting and then organizing her room) slowly (I say again!) at about 1pm. A friend of hers came around 2 and at 3 when I popped my head in and asked how it was going she said she wished she could be watching netflix.. Instead of laughing and thinking that was funny, I got annoyed, we got in a small tiff and I flipped her off in my head. Real mature!:happy2: Anyway, we got done with what we wanted by 7, ate dinner out and then went to bed.
Drinking crossed my mind a couple of times.. abstractly, not as a serious thought. But anyway, I played it through, saying out loud what would happen. No matter what, every time I drink I waste time. Often up to 7 hours a day.. if I begin after work at 2 and drink slowly, to keep it under control, I'm still never doing anything productive and it still ends up in me going past my limits, buying more and eventually passing out/going to bed early. And then having to deal with the repercussions during the night and the next morning and then starting all over again after promising myself I wouldn't. Nightmare.
I'm going to make the commitment instead, as you mentioned NS, to check on here for 30 minutes a day.. I usually check in a couple of times a day to see who's around.. and if no one is, I head to the Toolbox or 3p's.. or the café. It's been a while since I visited there.
Byrdie, I had to laugh at your, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck! Yes, true..
Ava, congrats on the 6 months sf.. very well done.
Big hello to Lav, Nar, Wags, Pauly, G-man, 3bottles, Belle, J-vo!
Wishing you all a nice day. xx

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

I love listening to all your stories. Goodness Lav, you have quite some tales, well done for keeping off the booze...you've certainly shown you can face them life challenges with strength and determination.

Well done lifechange, for me I too am snapping at little things people, especially my son, does...it's short-lived though and he knows I'm going through something so he lets me off... Still I wish I could be in that neutral place soon, balanced like the way I knew...weed is the worst to come off, for me, I've been smoking and drinking and suddenly cold turkey....phew! Yes, am 12 days now...

Had a cola yesterday with my son, I am allowing myself one treat a week, each Sunday...but no drugs!

Gotta go get my son to school, thought I'd drop in to say hi.

Happy sober Monday and new week to all

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Great posts - glad to read them and remind myself why I'm here. LC - it doesn't even have to be 30 minutes. Sometimes it is a quick 10 for me.

Aaah, I was snapping at my son yesterday, too. He is very quick to anger, partially because of a medication he is on, but yesterday was blaming us for something that was CLEARLY on him. I try to keep myself even, but sometimes it just gets to me.

Lav, that's quite a list. I know that when I quit I expected life to suddenly be all rosy and for all of my bad moods to disappear. It turns out that life is still the same, I still get down, bad things happen, I feel insecure and anxious, etc. But I can face and deal with all that life hands me so much better now. I don't hide from things. And to top it off, my sleep is so much better.

Nar - WOW, that's an early snow, right? Brrrrr.

Happy SOBER Monday.

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

The term 'alcoholic' bugs me in some ways not only because in our culture it is a label full of judgement but also because it somehow distances us from other out-of-control drug users. The phrase 'drugs and alcohol' is so commonly used but the sad fact is, alcohol is a drug, albeit a legal-for-adults, socially acceptable, encouraged one (like smoking used to be). But our situation is no different from theirs other than perhaps the lower liklihood of arrest or overdose. The phrase 'drug addict' sounds so harsh and scary. I'm not too wild about giving that label to myself or anyone else. It doesn't define the whole person. However, I think of myself as someone who is/was addicted to alcohol, just as others are or were addicted to food, sex, nicotine, gambling, heroin, oxy, or meth. It is not who we really are, it is something we struggled with and need to avoid from here on out.

Sometimes when I read or hear about the current opiate crisis, I find myself wondering how on earth these people got themselves into this mess, wondering why don't they quit, and really find myself judging them. Then, I remember, they are no different from me and what I went through. It makes it easier to be sympathetic and compassionate. No one would ever choose to become addicted to anything.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi gang,

Sheesh, rough night here. Dodgy takeaway sandwich had my guts screaming overnight. Settled a little now this morning, but still uncomfortable. Will try some upset tummy stuff from the chemist. What's a quick fix Lav? A can of fizzy soft drink?

Hi LC. I don't rule out AA just because they all say 'my names _ and i'm an alcoholic'. I don't really label myself, except to think of myself as a guy who had a problem with booze and finds life much much fuller, better and easier when i stop. So for me, i've gone to occasional meetings over the years (might hit another this year for a recharge) and if i've shared (sometimes not often) i don't care when i say 'my names...alcoholic' because the benefits of being in that room for me are big. Connection and warmth, and inspiration from the many sober gems in attendance who are welcoming and willing to help. I just use their terminology even though i'm not keen on labels. The AA program has so much wisdom and common sense to learn from and plug into, that i just go and take what i need, leave the rest. It's not perfect for everyone, but i see that the 12 steps are a solid code for living and rebuilding lives when we are lost. It is a solid road map to learn to live again. I take my blinkers off, and take away all the good stuff that's relevant to me.

Have a great week y'all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

G, no fizzy sift drinks for your tummy. We used to use flat soft drinks back in the day. These days I just pop 2 or 3 TUMS chewable tablets (antacid). I’m sure you have something similar over there, Hope you feel better soon & be careful where you buy your sandwiches!!!

Still waiting for some rain but nothing has shown up yet, The temp is a bit cooler so at least that’s good.

LC, just keep your eye on the prize - your long term sobriety. You’ll learn how to maneuver thru rough times without turning to AL. You’re right, the Tool box is a good place to go

3Bottles, great job on your 12 AF days, nice work!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
I have to get back to my craft work to be ready for Saturday.

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!
A very tired morning it is for me today! Having a cup of coffee and then will head to work. When I'm done, I'll come straight home and check in here, write a bit more, then I'll RELAX for 2 hours, maybe watch a film or take a nap, before I finish up the last minute cleaning and shopping.
It's been a very busy few weeks and I look forward to having a bit of a slow down.
I hope everyone has a nice Tuesday.. Hope you're tummy's feeling better soon, Gman!
Hugs all around..xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - sounds like a healthy and productive way to approach your big flat re-org project. I hope you have a fantastic month with your mom visiting.

Lav - you're having a prolonged summer, while we went from summer to almost winter in less than a week. Cold rain and hail here in the city, and snow down to 2000' elevation in the mountains. Way too abrupt of a change if you ask me!

Ava - sorry to hear you're having some medical concerns. Menopause sure isn't for the faint at heart! I'm just barely on the front edge of that and already kind of tired of the games it feels like my hormones play sometimes. I hope you get things straightened out soon (and smoothly).


Hellos and waves to G, Pav, Nar, 3BoW, Belle, Pauly, Byrdie, NS, and everyone else stopping by the nest. Hope your weeks are off to great starts!

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey morning all - flying visit - just my two cents on addictions and drugs, let's not leave out the biggest addiction on the planet which is Thinking - yes - it is.

Yesterday was a huge milestone for me, went to lunch at a café I used to drink in and met my "friends" there who were of course all drinking - I joined their table and had an orange juice, they were guzzling beers and some even vodka - this was 1 in the afternoon! the peer pressure was not wonderful, "oh come on, just one! just have the one with us!" but I didn't. I had a juice, ate my lunch, had the laugh and left... very happy.

Stay well all, Lav and Guitar, lifechage, Pav and Nar and Byrdie, Sugar, waggy, Pauly and everyone I have yet to get to know.

Rock on!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I had a very stressful day yesterday - two family members to doctors visits with two long drives to get there. Plus the tension of not knowing what is going on. Plus the tension of missing work that I should be doing.

Came home and after dinner I was CRAVING ice cream or something sweet. Even though I have been off the dessert for about a month, it still came screaming back. I wouldn't say that I'm "addicted" to sweets yet, but I definitely have the habit, especially when stressed. Good to notice for sure. I brushed my teeth and the moment passed. I actually thought of myself urge surfing again! FFS, the human body/mind is crazy. With these giant, pleasure-seeking brains, it is hard to imagine how we get by.

Plus all the political stuff is making me CRAZY. That's all - I know we usually keep politics out of it here, but this is CRAZY!!

Really Lav? No fizzy drinks for nausea? All these years I've been doing it wrong??? Feel better G.

OK, that's all. Winter came quickly here, too, although winter is generally only about 10-20 degrees F colder on average. Not too bad...

xo
Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Mr.G hope your tums is better today,I had to take a Pepto bismol yesterday cuz I felt like I was gonna puke,I love that stuff Ava,puppy is settling in but yea still a puppy so a bit annoying and wants to lick my face CONSTANTLY! Pav,I always feel like I need a sweet treat, especially in the evening,I don't think people who actively drink ever eat sweets cuz I've watched some people around me and they just don't have that taste for it and I remember never eating them either so I'm actually quite happy with wanting a small sliver of cake or a few chocolates or yes ice cream Wags,how's your wife doing? Waves to the gang,I woke up later than usual so I'm scrambling this morning,have a Fab day all!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Whew! I missed a lot the past few days. I was in sunny California being bathed in ocean goodness. Rough start today as it is darker, rainier and colder. But I sure enjoyed the break. I didn't even think to check in here - which is not a good habit, but telling of my peace with sobriety at the moment. There were plenty of opportunities of course, but not for me.

Hugs to you Belle and LC. Don't let that alcohol voice convince you that things will be better if you drink. That was the moment that changed my life - the moment I realized that things would never change for me if I kept drinking. I remember clearly where I was, outside a grocery store, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I tried and tried to find a way to be able to drink - but I finally fully understood that drinking would ALWAYS ALWAYS bring me back to that very same spot where I was standing right then... wanting a drink, and wanting to quit and hating the fight. I allowed myself to be intentionally ignorant for a long time, but once it became clear that there would never be another outcome to my drinking, I could no longer be ignorant. I had to choose to keep banging my head against the wall or reach for a better life.

It took several months of general discomfort, because I couldn't reach for my "easy way out". But gradually, I found other ways to fill my time and cope with the things that used to make me want to drink. The good news is that once I developed those skills, it became MUCH easier to face situations that were thrown at me. I really hope that each of us here end up deciding to choose a better outcome. :heartbeat:

On the airplane home yesterday, a woman in front of me ordered a Bloody Mary at 3:00 by herself. I may be wrong, but I think I picked up the energy of a problem, and whether I was right or not, it reminded me of how sad I felt when I was controlled by alcohol. I remembered how I was a shell of a person fixated on the very thing that was destroying me, instead of a strong, self-assured person who is in control of herself. Though I occasionally crave that "quick fix" ("easy way out" is a great way of putting it - PAV I think?), I never want to succumb to the repetition of "drinking - self loathing - wanting - caving - drinking - self loathing....". I am worth more than that, and so are all of us. Choose to take care of yourself! Value yourself and live a better life!

That "better life" scared me too for a long time. I thought I had to design it first, fix everything at once, know what it looked like. Turns out, I just had to know that I deserved better and stop drinking - and things changed for the better little by little.

Ok, enough from me. Back to work in this dreary place - I miss the sun!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

great to see you checking in LC and for sounding happy. This is what sobriety gives us that al never could. god i was never happy on al, a fixed smile on my face to show the world i was happy but definitely feeling any love inside myself.

Well i saw the dr and got a pill. who knows if said pill will make any difference but time will tell. i hate taking pills, probably because i always forget to take them! If they dont work i can go back and get another pill. i suppose i wanted a miracle fix, like having my uterus removed :congratulatory: but not to be as yet. i will keep driving my family and myself nuts and the world around me for a while longer. The funny thing was the menopause clinic was running at the same time as the newborn clinic. with 5 newborns crying, i could not wait to leave.

Pauly, glad to see you have such a kisser fur baby too. carl just wont stop kissing anyone, he has so much love to give to everyone. night 2 of carl training and cant wait.

Have a meeting to go to but wanted to check in.

Waves to everyone and take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, what a beautiful post. I wonder if you would put that in the Tool Box? It describes perfectly the cycle of self loathing and guilt we feel when we are struggling with the decision of whether or not to drink. Thank you for articulating that so well.
Busy day at work, glad it’s over.
G, hope your tummy is doing better.
Available, what can I say about menopause? I drank thru it. I don’t remember much about it, then again, I don’t remember much about my 40’s at all. Oy. I hope the pill helps your symptoms.
Happy Toozday, all. Byrdie.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I just heard it’s actually heating up to 93 degrees tomorrow. THAT is crazy just like our political situation.

Ava, hope your pill works magic for you
Make taking that pill as part of your routine. I take my one & only blood pressure pill in the morning as soon as I brush my teeth - so I never forget.

Pav, my FIL was a pharmacist. He used to keep gallon jugs of Coke syrup behind the counter. Whenever someone came in looking for help with a sick stomach he would pour them a cough syrup size bottle of the coke syrup & tell them to mix it in water or tea & take it a few times/day. Yep, that’s how we all grew up, haha!

Wags, I can’t wait for cooler weather. I function much better in the fall & winter. Maybe because I was born a week before Christmas?
I hope you had a good day!

Kensho, life is so much better when we stop banging our heads, right?

Pauly. Puppy love is special, you two are bonding!

I have to go put the chickens to bed, it’s dark at 7 pm, wow!
Have a safe night in the nest one & all!

Lav