Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters

The sun's shining here Kensho! When are you and Narilly coming over? Yep, our mind gits used to our new routine i.e. not boozin', eventually. Our new norm becomes what we do. If i'm boozing everyday, that becomes me and my norm. If i don't booze, and run everyday, this becomes my new norm. And mood follows action, non? Simple eh? Not easy, but a simple equation.

3BDubbya. Great job on the cafe lunch! I know the scenario well. No stress for me these days. I still make sure i have my own transport exit plan if i start feeling too anxious or at risk.

Thanks for the well wishes everyone and Lav for the flat coke idea. Feeling better today after hitting the chemist. I probably didn't need to spend 8 bucks on tummy ache tablets but they worked a treat after a couple of hours. Had a long lay down/sleep. Laying low on this wednesday morning here, but 'tis such a beaut day i'm gonna have to hit the beach and throw myself in!

Geez, i used to feel like this hungover everyday! No good. I want my normal good feeling back pronto!

What i do regularly becomes er, what i do regularly. Whether that's boozing or its opposite - daily self care. Big waves to all.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Wednesday Morning, Nesters,

Catching up on the sleep here.. not just after restless nights of post drinking, but from lots of weeks of running around like a chicken.. can't stop yawning at 6am! But feeling pretty darn good anyway.
Beautiful post, Kensho! Thank you for that.. I would also like to see it in the Toolbox.
I've been practicing taking al off the table completely as an option. Yesterday afternoon when I had so much to do but absolutely no energy, I felt overwhelmed. I said out loud (that seems to make more of an impact), drinking alcohol is not an option.. what else can you do? I can eat a bowl of soup I made yesterday, have a power nap, then drink a cup of coffee.. I did all of those things, then I checked in here, called 2 friends, did some laundry, made another soup, postponed an appt I had this afternoon so that I can finish everything else up today.. went to bed early. And I knew today I'd have more energy because I have the adrenaline kick of picking my mom up at the airport.. I'm really excited to have her here.
It's so cold though! Lav, you'll be jealous to hear of our 52°.. I also do much better when it's cooler.. but I hope it stops pouring soon.

How are you doing, 3B's? Well done yesterday at lunch.. I've been wondering what part of Spain your living in? Are you from that area?
Belle, I hope you'll check in again soon!

Love to Ava, Pav, Byrdie, NS, Wags, Gman, Kensho, Lav, J-vo, Pauly, Nar.. hope I haven't missed anyone.
Wishing everyone a nice day..xx

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm doing wonderfully thanks LC

Did another cafe trip last night, I walk the beach from my house an hour to the cafe, beautiful walk, and found them all again (my friends) drunk and silly...no life in thier eyes, looking at me with odd curiosity...not understanding where thier alcoholic friend has gone, I don't judge them, I have nothing but compassion for them.

I am two weeks now, I didn't know it was going to feel so so good. I am fresh, stable, back to my old self of 13 years ago...and all it has taken so far is two weeks.

Weed was the hardest, seriously that stuff is severely overrated, being of spiritual nature myself I used to believe weed was a good thing, takes me to that place.... the opposite is true.

But it's the hardest, anger, anxiety, restlessness, paranoia...whoever said weed is not addictive is crazy...it is!!

No cravings for alcohol anymore either.

But it's just beginning, I will make sure to keep on top of this, keep posting here and learning about all you cool wonderful people and hope to eventually also help others along thier way, like you did for me and everyone else coming here.

I live in Alicante LC

Have a beautiful day all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, All:

Welcome back, Kensho. Glad you had a great trip.

That "better life" scared me too for a long time. I thought I had to design it first, fix everything at once, know what it looked like. Turns out, I just had to know that I deserved better and stop drinking - and things changed for the better little by little.

This was true for me, too. Well, the second part any way. The amazing thing for me is how many things in my life DID change for the better that I never expected or thought were going to be a part of this. I had been on blood pressure medicine for 7 years and now no longer take it. I have better skin. My relationships are better. I went somewhere with work that I wasn't even thinking about but that has been challenging and rewarding. My fights with my husband are practically gone because we manage our disagreements a lot better (well, it appears he always did, and I needed to calm down.) I just FEEL better mentally as well as physically. I didn't realize how much of my anxiety, insecurity and fear was tied up with my drinking. WHAT A RELIEF it is to not have that albatross around my neck any more.

LC - So great your mom is coming for an extended stay. I hope you enjoy it all! Does she know about your drinking? Can you talk to her about it?

Ava - I hope your pill works. Good luck to Carl in his school!

Pauly - my problem is that I'll have a sliver of cake. And then another. And then another. My sweets "off switch" seems to have come defective as well.

This week is dragging by - too many tasks I don't want to do. This weekend is also over scheduled. Oh well, I'll look forward to next weekend!

Hi, Everyone else, and Happy SOBER Hump Day.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning!

Hi 3B! I hate weed too. Just makes me feel dumb and unauthentic. I prefer the real highs now It's so awesome that there are people here from literally around the world. Spain is on my bucket list for sure!!

I have a quiet day at home today to push out as much work as I can. I'm really behind. But my daily intention was to take care of myself. So I intend to keep a reasonable pace.

LC, enjoy getting your mom! It sounds like you have a good relationship with her. Have you talked with her at all about your drinking? I know all moms are different, but I found my strongest supporter in mine

Have a good one everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, my sweets off switch is also defective, in fact, most ALL of my off switches seem to have snafoos! What's up with that?
Yes, there were so many intangible advantages to quitting drinking that I had never considered. Top amongst them is the internal agitation. It's hard to explain, but it's just an general uneasy feeling about getting that fix...will I have enough? will I get caught? Can I hide it well enough? ON and ON and ON. YUCK, that is no way to live.
I was just looking at facebook and an old friend of mine I grew up with said that he had just spent the entire month of September AF. He said he didn't know how long it would last, but he felt really good. Others piped in and said that they 'quit' on such and such a date and only had 1 or 2 every now and then and were fine. I wanted to say that 1 drink only leads to another. I think they were sending him bad advice. But that's just my opinion.
Hope everyone has a happy hump day! Byrdie

[Moffit]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Peeps! Just popping to the nest to rest my wings. Everyone seems to be doing well. :happy2: I read here most days to keep me going forward.

I'm still drinking but working hard at getting over this thing! So far, I can string about a dozen AF days lose it for 2 or 3 days and force myself get back up on the horse. A work in progress for sure.
Right now I'm on day 3. These are things I have come to accept:
One is never enough. Having none is easier than sticking to one. I have no off switch, from my very first drink at 13 yrs of age. I ALWAYS had/have to get pissed, right from the get go. There is no switch to fix so I gotta give up thinking there is one.
Anyway, I'm still in the game. I will try to come in and post more often.

Thanks to you all for being diligent and keeping this site alive. Your words are not falling on deaf ears. :heartbeat:

Ciao for now. M

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone checking in, love hearing/reading good news too

LC, I hope you & your Mom have a wonderful visit. It should be good for both of you I think!

Moffit, good to see you & I truly hope you continue to try to quit. Living an AF life is so much better than I could have imagined. I love being guilt free!!

Hi to Byrdie, Pav, G & everyone. Wishing a sfae night in the nest for all!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters,

it's a cool and blustery autumn day here.. and a public holiday, as it's the German reunification day. That meant, last night, that people were partying at the park across the street, so I didn't get a very good night's rest. It will be a nap day..
My mom got in yesterday evening and seemed well after a very long flight.. I got everything I wanted to get done so the flat is feeling cozy and clean!:happy2: Her health hasn't been great this past year and she suffers from arthritis, hip and knee problems.. some days are good, others aren't, so our plan is to play it by ear.. we've got some nice concerts planned, markets, museums.. meeting our friends (she hasn't met the girls' best friends/my new friends!), revisiting places she remembers from past visits.
Alcoholism is something we have in common, unfortunately. I think I still have some hard/sad feelings about my childhood.. though we're so close now (and were before her drinking got out of control, when I was in the 4th grade).. she knows about my struggles but doesn't really ask much. I'll play it by ear and see how I feel about talking to her. I thought I would bring it up and celebrate my 30 days (Sunday before she leaves) with her and the girls and cake.. and maybe make that a time for opening the dialogue. If anyone wants to talk.. Today is day 7!
The days do go by quickly, time does in general, doesn't it? And it does whether I drink or not! And it's so much nicer to look back on a week where I haven't had to deal with any of the shit that goes along with drinking.. I may have had to deal with other things.. but not THAT!

Well done, 3B's on 2 weeks!
Welcome back, Moffit!
Kensho, which beach were you visiting? I'm so looking forward to heading back to the Pacific next summer with my youngest..
Pav and Byrdie, my sweets off switch is also highly malfunctional! I can often quit after a cookie or an ice cream bar.. but not always. I'm not dwelling on it at the moment, but am trying to mndful of what I'm eating in general. Byrdie, you peaked my curiosity.. which other switches have snafoos? Love that word.. I guess I also have a hard time if I'm at the computer.. sometimes I set a timer, otherwise I lose track of time.

Ok.. big hugs to Lav, NS, Nar, Pauly, Gman, Wags, Ava, Belle, J-vo and everyone else checking in today.. let's make it a good Thursday! Easy for me to say, having the day off work!xx

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning all - quick hello

Ignoring the voice in the head that is trying to convince me not to come in here and post and have a drink instead - "You're not an alcoholic! sure one won't hurt"

But I am and it will. Because it has.

Really happy to have this group, thank you everyone.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

3Bots, you nailed it when you said that history IS our teacher, and we know ourselves well enough to know that 1 drink isn't going to do anybody any good (in SPITE of the voice that says it will). One drink never took any 'edge off'. One drink is MORE dissatistying than 12 in reality. One drink is what is considered moderate drinking for a female, why bother? In the famous words of 3June, If just 1, why not none? We're so proud of you for telling your craving it's full of beans. You CAN overcome an urge! Great work!

LC, as I think about your question, I wonder if my off switches might be considered borderline hoarder disorder? I can't leave 3 crackers in a pack. I can't eat one Pop Tart and save the other one for later. I clean my plate. I can't eat half a pint of ice cream, I. Must. Finish. I save almost EVERY email. I have papers from the last 28 years from my former job. I have dresses in my closet that are 20 years old that I never wear, why don't I get rid of these things? So I wonder if alcoholism might be a brain wiring situation to hold on to something? I know I always chased the perfect buzz, but never found it. I don't know. Maybe I need to read that book Lav tells us about. I'm sure I still have that email here somewhere. OY. The crazy thing is that when I DO let go of stuff, I rarely, if ever, miss it.
Thank you for making me think this through. Hope everyone has a peaceful Thursday. Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Good for you for posting, 3BOW. I hope that craving has passed and you're settled in somewhere with a nice cup of tea or some other diversion. I will say that I did not put any food restrictions on myself that first year I quit. If I wanted something to snack or nibble on, I ate it. I needed to get rid of the alcohol way more than I needed to stop my tortilla chip habit. There are some that sort of need to quit sugar because it can be a trigger for more sugar (alcohol), but for me ice cream was a great substitute.

I once tried weight watchers where you had to measure every portion. It was VERY hard for me. What use was that tiny bit of pasta they allowed? Once I have a bite, I want the whole bowl. It is FAR easier for me not to buy or make the pasta than to only eat "one" or "a little." I used to only really "crave" salty, crunchy and savory, but now I have a habit of sugar after a meal. I have been off it for a few weeks and the cravings are much less. Sound familiar??

LC - Sorry, I didn't know about your mom and your childhood. She would probably be a good person to talk to it about, however (I am assuming she doesn't drink any more). I wonder how she thinks about your childhood? Sounds like a great month you have planned.

Moffit - there is so much freedom in saying goodbye forever. What would it take for you to commit to 30 days? Can we support you??

Hi to everyone else.

Happy SOBER Thursday.

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,good for you for coming here when you felt uncomfortable 3 bottles! Like Byrdie said one drink is dissapointing anyway,all it does is make you tired and dissatisfied and looking for more! I often wonder about people like my husband who has ONE with dinner or whatever and figure it must be the taste they like cuz to me that just seems pointless and a waste of time,I'd be climbing the walls looking for more and I know that's the truth cuz I've tried buying "only a few" drank those within 30 minutes and drive across the street to the gas station to load up more! Also if I went anywhere is be buying more along the way always searching for more,ugh,I don't like posting my M.O. cuz then some people might read and think "I was never THAT bad" but if drinking is affecting your relationships and life it's not the amount it's the effect it has on you,one if my faves was from a member of the Army KTAB and in his signature he simply had "alcohol makes me sick." Pretty much sums it up and so simple,gotta get ready for work waves to the gang and have a fab day- don't drink!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

X-post Pav hola

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Love your post Pauly.

3B, you’re sounding strong and like a person taking care of themselves. Looks good on you!

I broke my rule and stayed up to work last night until 1:00am - then up at 6 for the kids. Yuck - this doesn't work for me. I'm just totally buried and can't get things done - and it all seems to be a code red. I'm not as much stressed as just needing to get some stuff off my plate. It's a disaster waiting to happen for me if I keep it up though, so I will look forward to an early bedtime tonight.

Happy hugs to everyone.