Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Saturday in Wagland, and no complaints here! Love that story - it puts a line or script to the Lavitude of Gratitude. Having a mantra like that can be a big helper.

Lav - hope the craft fair goes well!

Belle - you CAN do this, and now is as good a time as any (there's never a perfect time, that's an al voice trick to get us to drink or to delay quitting).

Nar - thanks for the kind words. I do think teaching is a very good fit for me, and I was nowhere near as good when I was drinking. Now that most of my business is online (past 3 years) where people rate and review me, I honestly think I would have tanked my reputation if I hadn't stopped drinking before launching this venture. Not to mention, the stuff I teach now is hard or at least requires very high levels of concentration. I'm often mentally exhausted after 3 or 4 tutoring sessions. If I were still drinking, at the very least I would be canceling a lot of classes and losing a lot of money, but I think I would have really blown it in other ways, and a bunch of negative reviews is hard to overcome in this day and age.


Hellos and waves to Byrdie, Pav, G, Pauly, Ava, LC, Moffitt, and everyone else stopping by the nest today. Have fantastic AF weekends!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - no travel plans in the immediate future, but loosely planning to do a couple of snowshoe overnights this winter, and hopefully several single-day adventures over the next few months too.

LC - that internship sounds awesome on so many levels. I want to do one! So many great life skills in one experience. I agree with Pav - our schools here would benefit from such activities. I know some schools do similar things, but everything is so stratified based on socio-economic levels; generally only kids from wealthier families get to do such things (often at private schools, but sometimes public schools well-funded from taxes).

Anyway, how great for your daughter and her friend, and now for you!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, the doctor’s office was out of smiley face stickers last year, all they had were ones with a monkey on it that said ‘Good Job’. I earned that for not crying when I got a shot! Bahahaha! I guess it’s like a 30 day chip in AA. I don’t know why I hate shots so much, I don’t mind dental shots but any mention of one in my arm makes me want to run out of the room with arms flailing! I remember when I was a kid, my mom and the family doctor’s nurse would have to hold me down to get one. Funny, the doctor’s nurse is the other OTHER woman of the doctor who turned out to be my bio dad! She was my half brother’s Mother. (Our family doctor was having affairs with both my mother and his nurse). UGG.
Other than running to Walgreens for mascara, nothing on the schedule for the weekend! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Moffit]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters! Day 6!

Pav and Nar...The thought of 30 days is just too daunting right now, but I am game for a stretch of 15 which would break my current record of 12. My brain goes into panic mode if I push the days out too far and then I go right back to polluting myself daily.

Wags, it IS work for sure, however, progress is being made. From daily obliteration for 30+ years to pulling off a stretch of 10 or more AF days and shorter relapse time, is moving me forward. I am learning how to spend my time after 4 pm without guzzling booze until bedtime. My brain is recalibrating, and I'm becoming more functional in the evenings.

So 15 days would bring me to the Canadian Thanksgiving...something to be thankful for, eh

Smiles to all

M

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, Moffit, one day at a time right. Don’t think too far ahead. Just get to 15 days and then take it from there. You can do it.

Byrdie, that is a crazy story about your bio dad, wow.

Wags, I am so glad you are thriving. You sound great.

Pav, dance your heart out tonight, it will be fun and you will remember everything, no blackouts.

Life it is amazing how much kids grow up when they travel. My kids really matured after they traveled abroad.my son actually lived inNew Zealand for a whole year and worked. I gave him no money so that was a great experience.

Hey G, I will go with you and Belle to the ass Spa, haha. Good times

It’s election time, most of the things that media focuses on is ridiculous. How annoying, let’s talk about real issues people. FFS

Have a good one.
Don’t drink today. xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had an absolutely beautiful day for the craft fair, cool & sunny!
Didn’t have a tremendous number of sales but enough to make it worthwhile

Pav, all my work is machine embroidered (no hand work). Currently 16” pocket pillows are all the rage for young & old alike. They make nice gifts for new babies, kids & adults too. My embroidery designs run from cute to snarky, haha!

Hi to narilly & Moffit, both sounding good.

Byrdie, only nurses can give good shots, that’s why I go in to the office each year for a flu shot. I got one years ago at Walgreens. I swear the pharmacist was trying to kill me, left me bruised & swollen. Won’t do that again.

Hi Wags & LC. I like the sound of nesters taking good care of themselves, we deserve the best. LC, your daughter’s internship sounds awesome. Wish i had something like that when I was a kid.

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick hello, checking in. So nice reading all your posts and wonderful to not feel alone.

Thank you all for your nice words about the mantra, yes it nice to practice.

Have a very nice Saturday everyone, I will post a little more tomorrow.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

You are doing great 3B!

Lav, the craft fair sounds wonderful. I love craft fairs.
Talk tomorrow.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday morning, Nesters,

Freezing cold here, but sunny.. I love the crispness in the air. We just got back from watching a frisbee match, ate a bowl of pumpkin stew (yum!) and are settling in for the rest of the day.. at 12:45!:happy2: A perfect Sunday in my opinion..

Glad you enjoyed your craft fair, Lav.. I was wondering which sell better, the cute or the snarky pillows? I googled to see what a pocket pillow is.. very nice idea.. for a book or a special toy, etc.. They must be fun to make.
Byrdie, I'm the opposite of you.. give me a shot in the arm any day but stay the hell away from my mouth! I had to get a shot in my gums a week ago, to have some fillings replaced. The assistant was so sweet and gently massaged my shoulder while the dentist did his work. I found it so effective for distraction.. such a nice touch.
Moffit, 15 days sounds like a great goal.. like Nar said, take it one day at a time as well. I'm in the same boat, with my goals set a bit in the future, but keeping it all manageable by focussing my energy on that which I KNOW I can handle.. NOW.

I'm loving every moment of my sobriety right now. I've made my life so much more difficult in the past by adding drinking into the equation. If I drink to escape, I'm hit harder by the things I wanted to escape from, If I drink to celebrate, I ruin the moments by overdrinking and making myself sick, If I drink to "get through" something, I only get through on a very superficial level.. I don't help myself in any situation, ever by drinking. I don't make any nice event better..
Several of you mentioned in the past couple weeks, that by doing the work that needed to be done on yourselves, to get to the point where you no longer wanted or needed to drink, to make your lives those which you wanted to live, was the best and a very important part of becoming sober.. Creating lives worth living/changing perspective/finding gratitude and acceptance. It's about the journey.. not just getting to the next point. I think that because I've been working at this for such a long time, I've wanted, for the past couple of years, to just be at the next point.. I wanted to be celebrating a year af. I had regrets about all the wasted time, and wanted to sweep it under the carpet and be through with it all. Right now I feel like I want to experience each day, I want to find the ways I need to find to deal with the things I used to drink at/because of. I'm excited about the new opportunities.
That's today..:happy2:
Big hugs to Kensho, Wags (snow-shoeing?!), Pav, NS, Pauly, G-Man, Belle, 3B's, Nar, everyone stopping by today..xx

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,LC,you sound great yep drinking to celebrate an occasion only ruined the occasion for me too and drinking to kill pain only prolonged the pain,I honestly think that's why it's taken me sooooo long to get over my bros passing,I'd only let myself super cry while drinking but sober I'd block it out,so I've been soberly trying to mourn him and actually deal with the grief,3-BOW yep little goals work for me too,I don't like to get too far ahead in my thinking,Lav sorry not much sold,it looked good though,Byrdie a day just buying mascara sounds like enough for me today haha,waves to all and wishes for a happy and healthy AF day!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I hear what you're saying, Moffit. When I first quit I was panicked about a vacation I had planned for 9 months later. It was to be with my drinking friends (who were all of my friends at that point), and I was so worried about having fun, ruining their fun, etc. Someone pointed out the paradox of both taking it one day at a time AND knowing that I quit forever. I had to stop making alcohol a choice, period. AND I had to stop obsessing about 8 months away and just get through today. Somehow that worked. And PS - the vacation was a lot of fun with no issues... I agree that every day sober is a win - and you're getting to see what it feels like to live like that. The science about addiction is pretty clear, though - it is accumulation of days in row of sobriety that will let your brain heal. There is a great podcast about this from The Bubble Hour- Changing the Stigma of Addiction Through Science

I am NOT saying that what you're doing isn't amazing - every bit helps. I'm just giving information. For me there was a very hard few months that first year, where the "pink cloud" of joy around quitting turned in to a LONG pity party and why me thinking. It was tough but it really helped me to think about what was going on biologically so I could rationalize how I would eventually feel - which is pretty great. KEEP it up - you'll get there.

I DID have a pity party last night, though. I was sitting with some people who were getting that first drink silliness and I just couldn't get the humor. It was a bit boring but also made me wish for that two drink buzz so I could join in. Thanks to you people and what I've read here, though, I took off those rose colored glasses and played out that scenario. Pav three hours later drunkenly dancing with everyone, maybe tripping and bumping into people. Slurring my words. Feeling terrible and embarrassed today. THANKFULLY, that worked. Who needs that. I did leave early - the music wasn't very good either - and I'm sure there will be stories of how much fun everyone had.

Snow shoeing sounds great, Wags. And like a lot of work. And beautiful. My husband and I were dreaming of tropical vacations last night, but maybe one in the mountains first...

Hi, Pauly. That makes sense - I hope you end finally with some wonderful memories of your brother.

Hi, LC. You sound great. I'm glad you're having fun with your mom, and also relaxing. Did you make the pumpkin stew? Sounds delicious!

I'll stop my Sunday morning waffle. Have great days everyone.

Pav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

LC so glad to hear you having a nice visit with your mum. Yes sobriety is a journey and i just knew in my heart i had to keep plodding along, putting one foot in front of the other, even if i felt like drinking and it half killed me not to. Now some days i would kill for a smoke but i know having that 1 wont do it for me so i keep plodding along with that and its getting easier each and every day. There is no finish line in sobriety but life certainly gets so much better.

Pauly, i was so angry at my brother for years after he died from al, telling myself i wasnt as bad as him, wanting to know why he couldnt stop drinking, wanting to know why he was so angry and cruel to me, wanting him to wake from his coma to apologise but i got nothing except anger and a slow trip to being an alcoholic myself. When i became sober i understood why he could not stop, why he drank his life away and why he he had to take it out on the one that he loved. Now i just miss my brother and am angry at what al took from both of us but i know he is looking down on me extremely proud that i have the life i have now.

3B and moffitt, keep up the great work. I could not think too far in advance on not drinking, just made sure i didnt drink each and every day. Some days were great and others were hell but each day that i didnt drink built up those sober muscles.

A busy weekend for me, my uncle died which was kind of expected. he did really well recovering from influenza and sepsis but after a week of going back to the nursing home he deteriorated and died. A blessing really as he had dementia and was bed bound, not a life i would wish upon anyone.

My magic pill is certainly not magic, if you hear of a mad woman wandering naked through the streets in Ausland, that will be me. Back to the drawing board i will go.

Lav, my mum has a few of those embroidery machines and loves them. Glad the fair went well for you and hopefully it is now cooling down in your neck of the woods.

back to work i go. take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends near and not so far,

Ava, sorry to hear of your uncles passing. Good luck with all that magic pill related stuff. I hope it's not knocking u around too much.

Yo Pauly! Wishing you an easy week ahead mi amiga.

Lav, glad you sold a few things at the craft fair. I reckon selling stuff we've created or gathered at a market is a cool thing.

Hi to Moffit, 3BDubbya, LC, Pav, Lav and all.

While i was shopping for snow shoes yesterday, i saw this woman running naked down the street. The weather was warm and she looked great.

Big waves to evabody.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Naked snow shoes shopping G? Only you could come up with that fantasy, haha!!!

Ava, it truly is a blessing when someone in your uncle’s position passes. RIP.
Your Mom does embroidery, cool. I am actually using my two huge professional machines for crafts now since I closed down my regular embroidery business. It’s a lot more fun, believe me

Pav, let them have their stupid alcohol fueled ‘fun’. I’ll bet they all woke up with hangovers today. Be grateful that you don’t have to do that stuff anymore

Pauly, it was 6 years in July since my brother passed. He had been suffering for a while with various health problems & there was virtually no chance of complete healing. I’m now glad that his suffering wasn’t prolonged, it could have been much worse. I have fond memories that keep me going.

LC, so glad you are enjoying your time with your Mom. Mine has been gone since 1986, a very long time.
So you found the pillows on line, nice. They are fun to make & I really enjoy seeing the kid’s faces light up when they see them. The adults enjoy the more snarky designs & messages, believe me, Lol

Hi Narilly & 3B & everyone.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

G, naked snow shoe shopping sounds very interesting, haha!
They have snowshoes for sale here at Costco, I may get some This year.

Wow, Lav. Your mom has been gone a long time. I get to see mine almost everyday, I am grateful for that.

Pav, yeh it’s a good thing you woke up this morning with no regrets and no hangover, way to go. It’s easy though because you don’t drink!

Life, it’s going to snow here in a few days. Winter is coming, hopefully it isn’t as nasty as last year where we endured months of -20C temps.

Ava, Pauly, that’s so sad about your brothers. Both of your stories are different but both hard.

Have a good sleep tonight. Happy UnHung Monday tomorrow.
Don’t drink today. 3B, Moffit, Belle, you can do it!
xo