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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hi Nesters,

    Yes, it is another Unhung Monday morning.. the very best kind to have. I'll go into work for a couple of hours, but then have the afternoon free to cook and hang out at home. My mom is suffering with jetlag and a cold, but she's in great spirits. So we go out a bit each day, but are spending most of our time at home with the girls.. they've got a 2 week autumn break from school, which is great.

    Ava, your brother most definitely is up there, looking down and sending you his love, proud of your sobriety.. yours, too, Pauly.. I'm quite sure. Or at least that's how I like to think. I was very close to my Grandmother after living with her for 2 years.. in her later years, she turned to alcohol to cope and it was the only thing that mattered to her. She had endless accidents at home because of it and her sons decided at some point that she had to move into an assisted living home.. For her, there couldn't be anything worse. She died in the hospital (went in with a bit of a respiratory infection) shortly after learning their plans. I often think she's looking down on me, loving me and willing me not to follow on that path. I've often thought, when no one else is around to see the harm I'm doing myself, Grandmother can see what I'm doing. She's right here.

    Pav, that doesn't sound like a very fun night.. Not even good music to dance to? Staying close to the Nest, checking in every morning and then throughout the day is definitely keeping me straight.. those rose coloured glasses tucked far away, in the bottom of an old chest I never go into. The pumpkin stew was so yummy.. if I don't say so myself!:happy2: I was worried it wouldn't be, so it was an extra pleasure when it was! Sauteéd onions, rosemary, leek, then added carrots, then potatoes and some stock and salt.. when it was almost done, added some tuscan kale (any kale or cabbage would do).. the pumpkin was cut in chunks and roasted in the oven with tons of garlic, rosemary and salt..then added at the end.. cooked for a minute or 2 then let it set for a couple of hours.. I think autumn stews/soups are my absolute favourite foods.. Actually, cooking this time of year is great (in a cold climate at least) imo, as it brings so much warmth inside.

    Wishing everyone a nice Monday..
    Hugs to Lav, Kensho, NS, 3B's, Nar, Gman, Wags, Byrdie, Belle.. thinking of you and wondering how you are.., Jvo.xx
    Last edited by lifechange; October 7, 2019, 12:34 AM.

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi, Nest:

      Quick check in on my way to work. And NOW I have the image of naked snow shoeing in my mind. Maybe it's the new trend this year.

      Happy SOBER Monday,
      Pav

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        Re: Newbies Nest

        Hmmm... naked snowshoeing, can't say I've ever been drawn to that but I'm sure people have done it. Especially around the hot springs we have here in the mountains!

        Ava - sorry to hear about your uncle, although it does sound like his passing was a relief in many ways for him and his loved ones.

        Lav - glad to hear the craft sale was a success. I wish I had some sort of crafting talents or abilities but I just don't seem to. Or maybe I just haven't found the right one yet. Not really a craft, but I wish I knew how to sew like my mom and grandma used to do. I know how to use a machine and the basics of all the other stuff (pattern pinned to fabric etc) but they were both extremely talented in that regard. It was a different time too. Gosh I miss both of them!

        Moffitt - A 15-day stretch is a great next step. The only caution I'd add is, don't set yourself up to definitely drink the day after you complete it (cuz then for sure you will). You might get to 15 and say what the heck, let's tag on another day. Kudos to you on the days you're already stringing together - no small task after so many years. Keep up the good work!


        Monday morning here, and after a long day of tutoring sessions yesterday, today is more like a half-day. My 78-year-old aunt is in town - she just did our local half-marathon yesterday as part of a charity fundraiser. 78 freakin' years YOUNG and 13.1 miles. Anyway, my wife and dad (it's his sister) and I are taking her to lunch to celebrate.

        Hope everyone's week is off to a great start. No matter what happens today, it isn't a good reason to drink!
        Toolbox/Toolkit

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          Re: Newbies Nest

          Wags, that's AWESOME about your aunt! THAT's how I want to age!! I'd better make my exercise routine a habit again if that's going to be my reality.

          LC! You're talking my language with leeks and rosemary and autumn soup! It's my favorite thing to cook this time of year. Glad you're enjoying your mom and family and "the details", and great job focusing on the positive! I loved those times when I absolutely and completely understood that I didn't want to drink!!! Be sure you're ready for that time that you want one... what is your plan? I found it really helpful to have my top three things I would do when the cravings hit. Unfortunately mine still do from time to time. A little back of the mind thing while enjoying the present!

          Sounds like everyone had a pretty good weekend, positive energy here, despite some loss and doctor's visits. Alas, life does continue to happen after we get sober. It's amazing to me the grace we are showing through it though. A clear benefit from not drinking

          I did have a terribly stressful week last week, and lost my temper with my husband on Friday night. He's a challenging person to live with, and I have been so much better at confronting the items that need to be confronted calmly (and ignoring the rest). My tantrum from being exhausted reminded me that we used to do that so much more. He often is a willing participant in loud arguing, but without a willing partner, the house has been much more calm - you got it - since I stopped drinking. I used to be so much more combative and feisty. I will break if prodded enough, but have found a more even center and more success communicating calmly. Being the adult in the room has its benefits! HA!

          G, do you mean sand shoes? Come visit us in the Western US mountains, and use the snow type! The naked part is optional, and more fun if you ask me!!

          Sleepy start today, and I need it. Hugs to all, keep up your guard. Alcohol is NOT our friend.
          Last edited by KENSHO; October 7, 2019, 12:24 PM.
          Kensho

          Done. Moving on to life.

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            Re: Newbies Nest

            Hi again Nesters!
            Thanks for that, Kensho! Most definitely important for me to have my top 3 tools in the forefront of my mind.
            Tonight I wasn't tempted to drink, but it crossed my mind that it was a time I usually would have.. wanted to drink AT. A situation involving having my ex over to dinner and realizing that it isn't so good for me to see him. Out of sight is out of mind as far as "we" are concerned.. he would love to be friends but I still have very hurt feelings, which I don't even know I have until we are together. He said he missed me and missed having me in his life and wished we could get past the past.. for me there's too much water under the bridge.. which I realized once again. ughhh.. Note to myself.. keep A. at a distance!
            Anyway, the other thing that crossed my mind was, I can't wait to get into that cozy Nest! I'm tired of making the same mistakes over and over again with regards to drinking.. I am on the road moving forward. And it's ok to leave some people behind.. it can be very sad, which it was tonight.. but I don't have to make everybody happy. And I can still have open wounds that need time to heal..

            Wags, I love the story of your 78 year old aunt.. what an inspiration! Something to work towards..:happy2:

            Love to you all..

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              Re: Newbies Nest

              Good evening Nesters,

              LC, glad to see you checking in on a regular basis. It really helped me get a strong start & now it’s just habit
              Like you I have been paying better attention to what/who is good for me. If I want to see a friend or relative I certainly will but I can easily leave the rest. My feelings & sense of calmness are more important now than ever. I did have to learn the hard way but that’s OK because I am happy right where I am now. Same for you :hug:

              Wags, if you have access to a sewing machine try a little project. I used to do prom dresses & even a bridal gown but have lost interest in those huge projects. If you look on Pinterest you’ll see millions of small projects that may spark up your interest! Don't forget there’s You Tube videos for everything now & they can be helpful.

              Kensho, you know I have a challenging spouse too but I do enjoy being the adult in the room, haha!!


              Hi Pav, Pauly, Byrdie, G & everyone.
              Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

              Lav
              AF since 03/26/09
              NF since 05/19/09
              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                Re: Newbies Nest

                Hey, all. An aggravating day, had 4 billing issues I had to deal with, I hate having to go back and piece information together. Then after an installation we did, the customer’s construction department took out the drive thru window and put in a bigger one. Unfortunately, our door contact was on it. I had to reprice it for them and they were upset that the add on is as much as the original system. Then another customer ordered a bunch of spare batteries for their alarm panels (60) and instead of shipping them to their warehouse, we shipped them to one of their restaurants. Ugg, so I had to try and get that straightened out. I had a conference call this morning with two other people and I was the only one that showed up. What a day!
                If I can stay sober through all this, I know you can, too!
                Wags, your aunt is amazing! Dang!
                I wish I could sew. I’m incapable of thinking in reverse, like you have to do when sewing a seam. My hat is off to all who can sew!
                Hugs to all, Byrdie
                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                Tool Box
                Newbie's Nest

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                  Re: Newbies Nest

                  Hi, All:

                  What a day, Byrdie. Imagine if you were hung over also. Thankfully you can stand back and figure out what you have the power to change and what you don't.

                  Wags - WOW, 78 and a half marathon?! Has she always been a runner? I am impressed when knees can withstand that kind of run - I'd be crippled.

                  Aaaah, sewing. I don't have the patience for that detail work. I get frustrated and want it to all happen faster. I do love to watch Project Runway, though. Those sewing skills are amazing.

                  Kensho - I think I was the instigator over here. Since I quit being a willing participant, we quit having big "fights," and instead have less tumultuous disagreements. We still do have to step away from each other, but there is a lot less drama. I hope you get some good sleep.

                  Happy SOBER Tuesday.

                  Pav

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                    Re: Newbies Nest

                    Morning nesters,all the talk of sewing reminded me of a show I just watched on TLC that was a toilet paper wedding dress competition! The dresses were really beautiful but can you imagine putting in so much time? I was impressed Byrdie,sorry about your horrid day,yikes sounds like everything that could go wrong did just a quick hello cuz the new puppy Spencer is definitely a"morning" person and it's like having a hyper Mr.Rogers in my face! Waves to all
                    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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                      Re: Newbies Nest

                      OMG PAV - Project Runway is perhaps my favorite show of all time! I think I would have pursued fashion design if I hadn't taken the interiors route. I love that they can see the fruits of their labors in a day, versus a year for me! I'm fascinated by the creative process - getting from A to B - where does the magic enter into the equation? Sometimes it's just timing too, and it's a flop. All part of creating something.

                      I did my PT stretches for my neck, did a quick meditation and a 15 min. yoga session. Coffee in hand, I'm ready to tackle my day. I felt like I spun in circles yesterday, but I got done what I got done. The rest will have to wait. I'm not stressing about it.

                      LC, the X thing would certainly be a trigger for me too, and was in my past. There are a lot of things I wasn't at peace with when I quit drinking, but slowly they faded as I began to take care of me more and grew as a person. Now I feel that was the old me, and those same things are really not triggers any more. Just keep going!! What you want is just on the other side of sticking it out! It just takes patience and faith!

                      LAV, prom and wedding dresses? You must be really talented! I knew how to sew when I was little, but now things get all tangled up and the tension is all wrong - I resort to a needle and thread for small things and hire out the hemming and alterations! You're a star!

                      Happy Tuesday everyone. Look forward to what is better ahead and trust that it will come.
                      Kensho

                      Done. Moving on to life.

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                        Re: Newbies Nest

                        Hi Nesters,

                        A very grey Tuesday afternoon here.. I rushed out of work today at 1 and my mom and I ran over to the concert house to hear a lunch time performance.. it was a trio; violin, viola and cello. Just lovely.. something I have to remember to do more often.! It's fun to see the city through a newcomers eyes.. I definitely haven't been taking advantage of all it has to offer.
                        I've already saved about 180 euros by not drinking these past 12 days! That's a real perk of not drinking!

                        Lav, thank you for the reminder that it's ok to let people go.. I am still such a people pleaser and it's especially difficult for me to "disappoint" people I once loved. But if it doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel good.
                        Kensho, yes, I feel like I'm getting there. Slowly, slowly, but surely. I don't feel afraid at the moment, or unsure, or rushed, or impatient.. I just feel pretty darn happy to be where I am.. and fortunate that I've been able to give myself another chance. I've got my Toolbox in hand the whole time, though. I will not get cocky or think, "I have this", any time soon.. just moving day to day. I am practicing taking alcohol off the table though. It hasn't really come up as a thought for a few days.. but when it does, I'll say to myself out loud, "no, that isn't an option! What else can you do to make yourself feel better/deal with this situation/celebrate/whatever"...
                        Byrdie!!! What the heck? You are definitely able to juggle with both of your hands and feet at the same time.. one thing you've learned from that job..:love: I hope you had a chance to relax after that.
                        How are you doing today, 3B's? Belle? Let us know how you're doing..

                        Big hugs to everyone stopping in or flying by today..xx
                        Last edited by lifechange; October 8, 2019, 10:19 AM.

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                          Re: Newbies Nest

                          Lav, a PROM Dress? A WEDDING DRESS? Holy crap, the patience! I used to have a lady that did my alterations she was an absolute magician! She took in a thick knitted sweater for me one time and you couldn't tell where she did it! Honestly, that is talent. Quilters? Forget it! My walking partner who passed used to do quilts by hand, how on earth? God just didn't give me that kind of patience and talent. SugarBabe (NoSugar) and Available are big knitters and I'll be darned if I understand how to do anything but a scarf! NS is a quilter, too, it's just mind boggling to me! Like people who can speak another language.
                          Work is better today, thank goodness.
                          LC, I don't think I could do much with an ex either. The whole 'lets be friends' never seemed to work out for me.
                          Any sign of Mr G since he went naked snow shoe shopping?
                          Hugs to all, let's go put the Too in Toozday! Byrdie
                          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                          Tool Box
                          Newbie's Nest

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                            Re: Newbies Nest

                            You'll find that a lot of ex-addicts are knitters, @Byrdlady - keeps the hands busy and the mind sufficiently occupied not to have space for some really BAD ideas! I didn't start knitting until the period before the 2016 election. I could NOT stop watching the TV but I felt like I was going nuts so I started knitting to distract myself. It is a very meditative activity if you don't make anything too complicated. I can see how doing it could help someone work themselves out of an addiction. I'm not sure how I managed to make so many elaborate quilts while drinking. Maybe they would have been better if I hadn't been...
                            Last edited by NoSugar; October 8, 2019, 01:05 PM.

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                              Re: Newbies Nest

                              Good evening Nesters,

                              Had kind of a dark day, expecting rain for the rest of the week. We really need rain here so I won’t complain, much.
                              We are heading out tomorrow evening to see Vince Gill. I never knew my spouse to be interested in country music, I guess things change, haha!
                              All that crazy sewing I did was fun back in the day. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be as successful if I tried now - hence small projects are perfect for me

                              NS, my mom & grandmother were both knitters. They tried to teach me but I hated it so I turned to sewing. It is a good way to keep your hands & brain busy though.

                              LC, sounds like a perfect afternoon for you & your mom, great!
                              Keep enjoying your life the way you deserve.

                              Bydie, you really had some day, geez. Glad today was better.
                              My daughter texted me from work this morning wanting to know if it was a full moon tonight, haha!!

                              Hi there Pav, Kensho, wags, G & everyone.

                              Have a safe night in the nest one & all!

                              Lav
                              AF since 03/26/09
                              NF since 05/19/09
                              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                                Re: Newbies Nest

                                Hey, I found Mr G!
                                AAD2B383-F872-4135-9649-6D77E6B7EC5C.jpg
                                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                                Tool Box
                                Newbie's Nest

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