Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Un-hung Wednesday morning, Nesters,

Geese flying over, heading south, I guess.. don't hear that often here in the city!

I was just thinking again yesterday about how much easier my life is without alcohol.. Right now I can't imagine it ever being an attractive option for me again. But I know I've saod tjat before.. So in trying to think about what might be possible triggers/trigger times, my mom's leaving on the 29th came up. I don't anticipate being super sad because we've had so much time together.. but I can imagine that the change, having so much alone time (the girls will surely head to their dad's for at least a week) could be a trigger, in the sense that most of my drinking was done alone. So even as an old automatic habit. I've been working hard at creating new habits again.. and will be hyper aware during that time.

This is just a quick fly by for me this morning.. so excited to have Friday and then 3 day off next week. I'll make it through today!:happy2:

Wishing everyone a nice day..xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick stop in - I slept a little later than usual. I was reading a whodunnit so I was staying up too late, but I finished it last night so I hope I'll get some sleep.

Happy SOBER Hump Day.

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,LC hubs text me yesterday that he was gonna be late coming home from work,now tell me why my brain jumped to"ooh I can be naughty and drink"?!?! Didn't want to, hadn't thought about it in ages yet being alone my mind went there almost like when we were teenagers and knew our parents were leaving us in charge of the house,so weird so defo try to stay busy! Plan some stuff to keep that monkey mind from starting shit! Don't know much about the Simone Biles girl and was wondering why people think she might have issues later? Cuz of success at a young age? I'm curious,seems like alot of the young stars grow up to be addicted to something but they're in music and tv and that's a completely different lifestyle than an athlete I would think cuz they usually work to stay in shape, nothing new here puppy is a crazy morning person still,job sucks still but he's cute and at least I have a job so yes there's a flipside to everything,waves to all the gang have a happy day-dont drink! It's gross

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I was just thinking again yesterday about how much easier my life is without alcohol.. Right now I can't imagine it ever being an attractive option for me again. But I know I've saod tjat before.. So in trying to think about what might be possible triggers/trigger times, my mom's leaving on the 29th came up. I don't anticipate being super sad because we've had so much time together.. but I can imagine that the change, having so much alone time (the girls will surely head to their dad's for at least a week) could be a trigger, in the sense that most of my drinking was done alone. So even as an old automatic habit. I've been working hard at creating new habits again.. and will be hyper aware during that time.

It is great you have this in mind, LC. I think a lot of us make it through 'big things' pretty easily but can slip back into old patterns once the pressure (including good pressure) is off. When I am at a work meeting or babysitting for days at a time, having a drink doesn't even occur to me but I have frequent thoughts of gratitude that I'm not trying to do all of this and continue to drink! However, after my family leaves or I get home, it sometimes crosses my mind that I would love to be by myself and totally check out in the most effective and quick way I know. Obviously NOT a thought I should pay attention to!!!

That happened to me last Sunday evening when after a trip and days of babysitting, I wasn't going to be alone but I was going out with girlfriends I used to drink with and who I knew would be drinking (and talking about the qualities and nuances of the wine ad nauseum). Then I thought about how glad I am that I don't drink and I have my sober online friends who I can "hang out with" anytime. The dinner was just fine and I didn't feel at all left out or deprived. But, I'm glad I had that little conversation with myself before I went out.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola my friends

LC, sounds like your head is screwed on just right! No reason why you won't be fine and dandy when you have alone time. Wait a minute! Alone time?......Alone time = ME time. Lot's of upside potential there. Follow your bliss.

Continuing to cultivate an attitude of gratitude here. The science is in. Gratitude thinking will reduce suffering. Why? How? Well it trains us to look for the good in our life. So my approach is a little gratitude journal every day should be training my brain to git used to looking for the good stuff, rather than moaning about the negative. Any negatives i just address and fix if i can, otherwise let em be or let go.

Big hello to evabody

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just wanted to check in & say hello before we lose power - I think it’s gonna happen a little later. The weather folks are saying we are in the midst of a ‘bomb cyclone’. I don’t know wth that is but it’s raining & very windy, for sure.

LC, you are doing great, be happy, be proud & stay strong. We all know you can do this

Hi Pav, Pauly, G, NS, wags & everyone!

Staying positive has been vital for me G. I literally had to whip the negative attitude out of me before beginning this journey or I know I would have failed. There is some merit to the old ‘fake it until you make it’ thinking!

NS, you know you can always text me, anytime

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. It might get windy so buckle up!!!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - hope you get power back soon (or don't lose it at all!)

LC - you sound good and solid. Lean into that feeling, really embrace it. That is your strength and it's always there for you.

NS - sounds like a good dinner with friends, and glad to hear your quit is so dependable that those thoughts after your family leaves are quickly dealt with and sent packing.

G - yep, gratitude and looking for the positive are both super-effective tools for improving one's life. Great way to frame it!


Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by the nest today. Whatever AL tries to convince you it will give you -- whether that be escape, comfort, pleasure, or whatever -- it's lying, and you can get all of those things in far healthier and more effective ways. Life has ups and downs, but al is never the answer. Take it off the table, and then look for other ways to achieve the feelings or things you seek.

Happy Hump Evening!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, all, quick fly by, I stayed up too late last night and today, I’m dragging.
Lav, stay safe up there! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, at least you are not hungover!

Happy Wednesday everyone.

Life, you are kicking it. Takin it off the table like Wags says.

Yes, G, gratitude is a great healer. I don’t have a gratitude journal but I am very mindful and grateful every day.

Xo don’t drink today

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

I agree with how important gratitude is for the mental outlook. Once I stopped drinking, I was able to start seeing the positive in life again, being grateful. Once I started blocking out all the negativity and actually seeing the positive, my life improved. None of my problems went away but I am grateful for where I am and for the life I have now.

I need to remember to check in here daily. Lots of wise words and it's a wonderful reminder of why I'm here and how very long it took me to get here. :heartbeat:

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
Day 21 here!! Time's a flyin'!
I also stayed up too late on Tuesday night and had a tough day yesterday.. draggin'.. I was craving and ate junk food, sugar.. which is also a warning for me to keep my eyes open, to be on guard. I've taken Al off the table! But it's been a good almost 2 weeks since I've had to deal with a random craving.
Gratitude! I am randomly grateful so many times a day right now.. this morning it was being able to enjoy the balmy, yet cool breeze we have. If I was hungover I'd be complaining about everything, I'm sure! Gosh I had a lot of things to complain about!:happy2:

Lav, hope the storm passes soon.. sounds like you're getting some Fall weather though!
Pav, was the who done it? worth recommending? I could use a good mystery!
NS, thank you..:love:

Ok, off to work. Have to stop by the shop for some cat food ahead of time.. forgot all about my little friends..

Big hugs all around! xx

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

And so, here I am again, sorry I haven't been in to chat much, been quite busy living and stuff but realize j should check in more often because the voice is always trying to find a way... For instance I love airports and I love airport bars, it's my third time passing these places sober and ordering coffee only, my routine for years was get two or three pints at the airport, 2 or 3 small bottles of wine on the plane and another two then at the bar when I land and then carrying into the night till closing time, justified by saying I am with my laptop working...work...no, never...I made very bad decisions this way in the past.

Also met up with a friend yesterday or the day before and she ordered a mojito, it was on special offer: 2 for 1 so she got two thinking I still drank...but she had them both while I sipped my coke...

It's a challenge and I feel stronger each time I overcome the voice... because guys the voice will never stop, it'll never stop saying stuff like 'oh look, you're now 30 days (I thought) so that'll do, at least it's proven I can do it, come on have a pint at the airport, I love that!' Pay no heed it guys...it's a trick such subtle tricks!

Because there is never just one. Ever.

I used to think drink was necessary to have a good time, to feel good, to feel confident... but I find the opposite is true for me now.

I see people needing it all around me, they are like me and you, only difference is they not yet admitting they are addicted to the drug.

Have a great day all! Stay true to yourself.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

What a great post, 3Bots. That just about sums it all up! I'm so happy for you, keep up the great work!

No good comes from AL. Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, All:

Mr. G - this is your magic. I love this take on things. Let's all follow our blisses in alone time.

LC, sounds like your head is screwed on just right! No reason why you won't be fine and dandy when you have alone time. Wait a minute! Alone time?......Alone time = ME time. Lot's of upside potential there. Follow your bliss.

That attitude of gratitude is key. I don't write them down but when I am feeling put upon or like something isn't going my way I have trained myself to try to find gratitude in the moment. Not always easy, but it sure helps.

3BOW - I guess the voice never totally goes away, but it DEFINITELY weakens and comes around a lot less frequently. Like that version of Voldemort that needs the dark energy to live. DON'T feed it! We can continue to starve it by using our tools and keeping them sharp; taking care of ourselves; and connecting to a sober community. Simple but not easy. You sound great.

Pauly - Puppies are SO cute and such pains in the a$$. Sometimes when I'm going to be alone I have that thought, also. Watch bad TV and escape! I still watch bad TV, and sometimes I eat ice cream...

I read Sharp Objects. I didn't think the book was very good, but I finished it just to see how it ended. If you're looking for a good mystery I like the Tana French Dublin Series. I think it starts with In the Woods.

Happy SOBER Thursday. I see that weekend over the horizon! I need some sleep, too.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Peeps! Nice day here, and I'm feeling positive.

I was struck by a show we were watching last night, with an alcoholic character. It's "This is Us", here in the states. I love how realistically drinking problems are portrayed, and he's a very handsome spokesperson I might add! It was a touching episode, and a raw, painful but hopeful look at what it is like daily to want a drink and what it means to say no and help others who are struggling. Love it.

I spent my first year AF struggling a bit, and also feeling proud that I'd overcome a very hard thing. Then things changed and I began to believe that I really didn't have a significant problem. Unfortunately, that has eliminated some of the fuel I used to stay sober. If my problem was minor, it really wouldn't matter if I started drinking again. It wasn't life or death for me at the point I stopped, it was mediocre life or great life. Of course, I want to reach for a great life and that is why I decided to stop drinking, but the motivation from feeling like I was broken and had overcome a serious and horribly difficult situation was minimized. It still FELT really hard - the hardest thing I've ever overcome in fact - but I guess it doesn't rank very high on relative scales, comparing with others. SO. I'm glad I'm not drinking, and I do feel I have a better life, but sobriety doesn't feel as - how to put it - "necessary". So I struggle with that at times. Regarding alcohol, I've always struggled with the question "where do I fit in"? I wasn't a normal drinker. But it also confused some people that I quit. SO. There's that.

Anyway, I have a lovely day ahead of me - feeling more caught up in work than in a long time and it feels good. Trying to balance work and life and spend some quality time with the kiddos.

PAV, I've read two books in a row that I was very so-so about... I need a new one to captivate me! I love reading entertaining stories before bed - it's a great escape! I remember trying to read in bed after I'd had a few drinks and just giving up because I was too tired. Love being so alert now!

Have a great day everyone!