Newbies Nest

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post Kensho, I see you are truly living up to your chosen name on here.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Been reading always everyday but been feeling like crap. Well the only person who can change that is me so on a mission yet again! I figure if i can give up drinking and smoking then i can change my eating habits to make me feel at least human again. Bit over the drs and specialist giving me a "pill" that costs a fortune and does jack shite. This is my life and if i dont take control of it then who will.

I think for me Kensho, accepting that i was an alcoholic was the turning point or whatever term anyone wants to use. I also had a brother that died from al to make me realise that i wasnt as bad as him but boy was i heading in his direction. I have 4 beautiful children to live for and thus i decided to. I have no regrets and know i will never ever drink again. I dont care what others think and i live my life the way i want now. I am proud of me and that is all that matters and my children are proud of me and that is all that truly matters. My kids tell me now i am truly boring now i have stopped smoking and i tell them "better than dead". Gratitude is a wonderful tool for me and in early sobriety i felt i had nothing to be grateful for but i now have a list as long as the list i used to have on why i needed to drink. Drinking was harder to give up than childbirth for me but just as they have fulfilled me so has not drinking.

Pauly, puppy are so cute arent they. Carl will pass dog training next week and we are thinking of taking him to advanced training. Mind you he was a total tool yesterday knocking over my bathroom bin and distributing that all through the house. he is so good at training and the trainers love him and i am sure as soon as we walk out he is so naughty. Slowly slowly we are getting there.

LC great work on 3 weeks, keep up the gratitude, that will never let you down.

3B, I used to feel deprived when i saw other people drinking, wanting to be normal, grateful i wasnt drinking, trying to calm that av noise in my head. nearly 6 years down the track and i have no regrets about the struggles of the first year getting sober. Its a lot of hard work each and every day but now i very rarely have a thought to drink. Its like having a thought to have a 5th child, not going to happen!

I have finally gotten the pay increase i wanted, from next February but i am happy for that. I will now be the headache/botox/movement disorder/neurology coordinator. A bit of an upgrade from just neurology coordinator but the other titles are what i do already. I have come a long way from that drunk 6 years ago in my career and i know if i had of carried on i would not be working, it was getting to be a struggle when i stopped drinking.

Taking the 10 month old terror for a walk today, what could be better than that.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Doing fine here despite some crazy winds all day long. Never lost power & that was totally amazing, haha!!

Ava, congrats on your pay raise, you certainly deserve one.
Eating well makes all the difference for those of us at a certain age. We really are what we eat!
Hope you enjoyed walking your terror terrier

3BOW, glad you are doing well. I will say though that you can look forward to the ‘voice’ disappearing. i honestly can’t remember the last time I even heard the stupid thing.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, maybe I should come and see you, I have a movement disorder, I want to slap the shit out of my coworkers! Congrats on the raise! I’m so proud of you.
What a day, but we have a front row sear to the weekend. We took Rubi (the chihuahua) to the vet for a dental evaluation yustaday. There was another poodle-y dog in there who was a sweetheart! A Labradoodle, I think. Of course Rubi barked at her non stop while we waited. It wasn’t until the CHICKENS came in that she stopped. She had never seen chickens before so she was confused. Once they went back, another dog came in and Rubi started barking again. This was a Lab puppy and she was so well behaved. All these other dogs so well behaved and then a spoiled Rubi. Oy.

Yes, sobriety IS worth the work. I spent a lot of years telling myself I could live with what I was doing until someone else decided HE couldn’t. My nose was out of joint at the time, but he saved my life. I was going down fast. There at the end, it progressed faster and faster, it was awful. I don’t have to think very hard to conjure up some doozies. Those weren’t the days.
Hugs to all! Byrdie

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

One of my favourite things about sobriety is mornings.. That regardless of the circumstances I can get up in at least a fairly decent mood to face the day.. Today, beginning at 6:30 every city truck came by, filled with workers doing their jobs.. cleaning the streets, emptying the bottles, etc..., the boot camp with their terrible music across the street at the park (I should probably join them!:happy2 and the cats bouncing off me like bats out of hell, even after I'd already fed them at 5:30.. little things that would have definitely had me starting off on the wrong foot back in the day. Not today! Today is a cuppa and hanging out with all of you!

Gman, yes, following my bliss! I love my time alone and have been missing it.. but knowing that my mom is just here for a limited amount of time and I won't see her again until summer, has made it alright. I have a mental list of things I'm excited about continuing on with/beginning when things settle back to normal. I've also told myself that I won't plan too many extra curicular activities in November/December.. I'll play it more by ear and see what I feel like doing instead of having obligations. How are you doing?

Pav, thanks for the recommendation! I asked my mom (also a big whodoneit fan) and she also really likes French.. so heading to the bookstore today. Exciting!
3B'S, your sounding good! I was hoping that you were doing alright when you hadn't checked in for a few days.. Missed seeing you around! I loved your post. I don't in any way feel like I'm missing out on drinking.. I feel like I've accepted that I just don't want it in my life any more. I hated what it was doing to me, I hated that I didn't feel like I could live or have fun without it! The money I spent, F***! Especially those stupid little bottles on flights or at the airport. The alcohol industry was robbing us blind! I was wondering if you're an expat living in Spain? Does everyone in your group of friends drink?
Byrdie, how did that chocolate mint cake turn out? Funny with Ruby and the chickens!
Ava, Big Congrats on your pay raise and new title!:welldone: Gosh you sure deserve it!!
Kensho, This is Us looks good.. I can't find a way to watch it here, but maybe it will be available at some point.. Have fun with your kiddos.. I've got some of that going on today, having taken the day off of work. So looking forward.

I let my mom buy me and early 50th birthday present yesterday.. a vitamix! Which is a super mixer that I've wanted for ages but wouldn't let myself afford 'cause it costs a bomb. But she really wanted to and I thought, what a great way to go into this next phase of my life.. making healthy drinks for myself instead of pouring alcohol down my throat! My eldest asked if it could take on celery... yes it can! Anyway, I'm excited..

Big hugs to NS, Lav, Nar, Wags, AB, Nora, Pauly, Belle, Jvo, .. everyone flying or stopping by today. Happy Friday.xx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

There were so many birthdays that I promised myself were the beginning of my sober life. They came and went. Finally when I hit 55, I had 6 months behind. How cool for you, LC, that when you turn 50, you'll be starting your first full sober year, decade, and rest of your life :smile:.

Ava, the positive changes in your life over the last 6 years have been a joy to witness. Your strong self-confidence and sense of self-worth are what we all hope to have and to encourage in our kids. You know what you deserve and aren't settling for less. Thanks for letting us be part of it :hug:.

I couldn't live with what I was doing anymore, Byrdie, because I wasn't really living. I was existing, waiting for my next chance to drink. At one point I realized I didn't really care whether I lived or not. I had no sense of meaning or point to my life. I guess deep within us is the desire to live and my flame flickered enough to try something different - join in here. I'm so grateful I did.

Have a good weekend, Nesters. Mr G isn't handing out any tickets to Boozeville so find some other fun place to go! xx, NS

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Friday Morning, all (although I'm aware Ava, G and Steady are already at Saturday)--

LC, you sound great. Sometimes after a visit and things return to "normal," that has been when you drank. Have you created a plan for when your mom goes? Is there anything you notice that having her there helps that you may want to consider? I love that you get to turn 50 sober - I did and it was definitely different than I had envisioned. About 15 of us went on a hike and then ate cake on the beach. Perfect.

NoSugar - You are so healthy and spiritually grounded that it is hard for me to believe you had any problems, much less one with alcohol. What that knowledge does for me is help me realize that I am not alone. I don't have to be hard on myself for "letting" myself get this way - I can accept that I was vulnerable to alcohol for whatever reason, and I can accept that I can't drink again and have the life I want. What a RELIEF!

Look, there's Mr. G coming down the beach, handing out celery smoothies he made with LC. No tickets to Boozeville in sight.

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I can accept that I was vulnerable to alcohol for whatever reason, and I can accept that I can't drink again and have the life I want. What a RELIEF!

I agree, Pav. I recently described on the ARMY thread how guilty I felt for having allowed myself to become addicted. (Control freaks apparently think they are in charge of and responsible for EVERYTHING!!). I tried to figure out exactly WHY it happened, what I should have done differently, and on and on and on. I wanted to identify a reason that would make it 'not my fault' because as it was, I felt like a bad, weak, incompetent, amoral person -- i.e. the exact opposite of the NoSugar I tried to present to the world.

I'm clearer now on some of the reasons I was psychologically vulnerable to addiction. And I don't discount that there are genetic and biochemical backgrounds that contribute, also. But - I'm never going to know exactly WHY it happened and that's ok. There is no single reason.

When I was drinking, I was stuck in those awful internal battles every single day. Now, other than a fleeting thought, or when I'm talking or writing about the subject, like right now, I rarely think about drinking. I'm blessed with the mindpeace that Byrdie and Lav promised me I'd find. xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters.

Congrat's on your pay rise Ava. Wow, that's so cool! It's way overdue. Well done mi amiga. X (bet u couldn't have done that pissed).

Pav and NS - Yes! 'I can accept that i can't drink and have the life i want'. It is this simple for me. This is the equation. There's no big stress. It's simply up to me. I can drink if i want to, sure. But i know from experience, trial and error, that i will end up just existing on someone elses hampster wheel going round and round in a never ending circle of unnecessary self inflicted pain and suffering. Ground hog day again and again. Nooooo thanks. The alternative is living! Living involves feeling things, experience life in all its glory and rawness, including painful events now and then. Great! Bring it on umpire. I choose to live. Much more fun overall.

I hope to one day meet LC in person when one of my bands travel, and we'll be sure to pack plenty of fresh celery into that juicer.

Big waves to y'all.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS, it was that obsession with my next drink that I find so mind boggling.
My thinking about Simone Biles was that she is under such tremendous pressure that she will have to find ways to release it. With me, it was AL. It was a way to escape the pressure, perfectionism and control freak nature I have. As I look back at my 30 year love affair with AL, it sure didn't start out that way. I drank to 'let off a little steam' or to relax a bit. When I started my first real job in 1988, I was in the big leagues and the pressure of sales was on. When the sales people got together, we all drank hard. We said, we worked hard and we played hard. I'd dare to say that most of us have ended up with major AL problems. At one of the last sales meetings I went to, I was stunned at the amounts of AL consumed, and I'm an alkie! All I can say is, I'd hate to be their liver. As bad as I was, I wasn't as bad as they are now. There's not much of a merit badge to be had by that, I just quit before they did, thank god. We are all on the spectrum, I just saved myself a little sooner than they. I'm glad I don't have to face what they are. I'm glad quitting is behind me. I do NOT want to have to do that again. I have a coworker who has a serious problem and I thank my lucky stars that that's not me....it could be, in about a month I could be right back in that hole with him. I stay vigilant!
How else would I see G man running on the beach? No tickets to BoozeVille available in NC tonight! Hugs, dear Nesters! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters & happy Friday evening.

Turned chilly here which is fine with me. We have frost alerts out for tonight. What’s not good is our heating system (just replaced a few years ago) decided it didn’t want to work, uh oh! Fortunately the guy who installed it lives next door so we got his attention bright & early this morning, thank goodness.
Just me & the animals now until sometime late Sunday while the guys are trying to catch a tuna.

Byrdie, I’ll be happy to ship you a Stella for a few days, haha. Rubi wouldn’t know what to do, Lol

LC, I bought a Vitamix knockoff called Ninja & it takes care of absolutely everything. Enjoy your gift & I wish you happy blending
Your Mom seems like a thoughtful person, lucky you.

Hi there G, Pav, NS & everyone!

One thing we all know for sure is that we are not alone on this journey. We have a great group of supportive friends & that is priceless
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - congrats on the pay raise! Sounds like they'll finally be paying you for what you've already been doing, but better than not, right?

LC - Pav has a good point about having a plan for when your mom leaves. And yay on turning 50 sober. I didn't do that, but quit for good less than 6 months later and haven't looked back. This is a great opportunity to hit that milestone with a bunch of time already under your belt.


Sorry for the short post - I'm mentally pretty fried from some long days of teaching, and am going to chill out with something mindless on tv or maybe a book, then snoozeville (much better than boozeville). Catch you all over the weekend!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Way to go Ava, you deserve that raise. Carl sounds so cute, you are lucky to have each other.

Yeah, G and Pav, I am living the life I want and I don’t drink. It is so nice to be sober.

Byrdie, I always drank too much at my jobs. I shudder to think about it.
Hey LC, turning 50 and being sober is the way to go. I am so happy for you.

Wags, I am beat too, goodnight everyone. Happy Friday, don’t drink today.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi dear Nesters!

I'm brain fried, Wags, without reason.. one of those foggy brained mornings. Not my favourite!
Yes, a plan is a very good idea, Pav.. I've noticed changes in my mood/behaviour the past 2 days that are definite warning signs.. HUGE cravings for sugar and then giving in and eating too much, feeling a bit blue for no apparent reason, yelling at the cats..:eek-new:-- the fact that they are so easily getting on my nerves, as are the girls. These things have been precursors to previous drinking binges.. and you're right, I have often (maybe every time) gone to drinking after a long vacation. At least long vacations with my family. Lots of factors go into that, I guess.. the huge effort it takes to change daily life around to make everything "work", the responsibility I feel to make sure everyone is happy, the initial sadness I feel when I part from my family, knowing we won't see eachother for a long time, the general coming down period.. I'm not quite sure what a plan should/could look like..?

Coming here each morning is helping me soooo much.. checking in with all of you, reading what you're dealing with and how, writing out my feelings/worries, etc. This is becoming a really good habit. Going to the gym and exercising, releasing the endorphins and letting go of steam, being mindful of what I put into my body helps me enormously.. I've joined an online "fitness" group which is nice.. helps to keep me focussed on those goals.. (NS, you mentioned community and help groups a while back, using Byrdie :love: as an example and that made me confident to go in search for others.. thank you..). I know I don't drink and I've taken it off the table as a way of coping.. I will have to/am learning different ways to deal with sadness and grief. Facing the issues, finding gratitude for everything I have, remembering the serenity prayer which I love, knowing there are some things I can change (go for it!) and some things I can graciously accept.. Anyway, I'm open for suggestions!!

Wags, I hope you have a relaxing weekend! You too, Nar! Sounds like you both could use it..
Lav, I haven't heard of the Ninja.. what a great name!! Where have the boys gone to catch a tuna?

I'm so glad I'm no longer caught up in the hell of drinking!! I definitely can't drink alcohol and have the life I want. I'm on board here and holding tight..
Love to all of you Nesters.. thank you so much for continuing to be here.. through thick and thin. xx

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,brain fried here too haha,LC I was reading a thread on soberrecovery yesterday about the keto diet helping the poster have no cravings for alcohol,sugar,etc said they felt more energy concentration and was able to stop drinking,Xanax and cigarettes when they started,of course I've heard of the diet cuz it's all the rage right now but I'm curious if it would be a benefit to actually do it instead of just reading about it I get so lazy with my foods and just eat whatever but I do pay with sluggishness,ibs,brain fog and a bunch of other unsavory things,I don't feel like working today but then there's not much to do at home either,was off yesterday so everything is done plus I'm off tomorrow guess I'm just being a whiner haha,waves to the gang and wishes for a happy and healthy day-dont drink it's gross!