Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

@NoSugar, could you post the neck stretching video again? I seem to have misplaced it..:love:

Here you go: 2 Min Shoulder Stretching & Strengthening for Pain Relief - Shoulder Pain Exercises Stretches - YouTube :smile:
It is 20 min long, not 2 min!!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends near and not so far

Ava, how are you going?

Happy birthday Ms. Byrdy! What did you do? What presents did ya get? :spin::black::balloons:

LC, that book would be good reading to be sure. Our current dialogue round here on thought/feeling management is so important and key, not only in this game, but in general day to day life.

Pav. Glad your home is ok. I am sorry to hear of such huge loss for people there. People struggling to get by as it is don't need this. I hope the local government is stepping up and helping in a practical realistic manner.

Big Aussie surf waves to y'all. Take it easy out there.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening & Happy Halloween Nesters!

Byrdie, wishing you a very Happy Birthday today & of course many more :hug:

LC, if everyone coming in the office has a low blood pressure that day - I would venture to guess something is wrong with the B/P cuff (they do dry rot & develop leaks). Or possibly it was operator error??
Better to have a low B/P anyway, haha!

Pav, we have all the weather here that you really need. Lots of rain & high humidity. There’s a tornado warning posted for our neighboring county just to the north, geez.

NS, G, Pauly, Wags & everyone - hello!

Husband was fine today & went out to meet a friend for lunch. I have resumed my lectures on the benefits of eating a healthy high fiber diet. Maybe he will listen to me now, maybe not.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

A very early good morning, Nesters!
I've been awake since 4 but wouldn't let myself out of bed until 445 and here I am at 515 with my morning cuppa!

Ava, I was also wondering how you're doing..? And little Carl? I hope you're both enjoying Spring time in Australia...
Here, we're beginning the season of darkness.. We changed our clocks last weekend and it's getting dark sooo early. Pav, I thought of you as I lit lots of candles and put on Mozart's clarinet concerto this a.m. to make the living room cozy and lift my spirits..Mozart - Clarinet Concerto [Sharon Kam] - YouTube It is that time of year again..:hug:
Lav, I'm happy to hear your hubby is feeling better! Seems like a great time to get him on the high fiber bandwagon! Hadn't thought that it could have been a problem with the bp cuff.. of course, my first thought was that it must have something to do with the weather/moon constellation!:happy2:
Gman, great post on your thread! loved this part especially..
"" I control my thoughts hence my feelings and actions. At least i understand i have a huge influence on this stuff. I will of course experience upset, emotional upheaval as life rolls along. I am ready and can only do my best with the coping skills and self awareness i increasingly have. There really are no limits, and there is no fear here. Just respect for difficulties ahead. Bending like bamboo with the wind, but never breaking."".. thanks for that.

I had a cool dream last night.. I was walking through a large public square of some kind and I was feeling sort of bored, that, "is this all there is?" feeling, a bit worried because this has traditionally been a reason for me to drink.. the thought crossed my mind, "forever".. then in the next second, I thought, this isn't boring! This is amazing! That I NEVER! again have to worry or deal with all of the shit alcohol brought to my life. That is a such a good feeling..

Some old friends wrote that they'll be in town this weekend and would like to visit me.. They come from wine country and always bring a bottle or 2 (that was one of our favourite things to do together).. the last time I saw them was the last time they visited, almost exactly 2 years ago. I'd been sober a couple of months and, stupid me, the thought hadn't crossed my mind that they might bring wine??! I guess because I was in new place, hadn't been drinking, hadn't seen them and therefore hadn't drunk with them for awhile.. I didn't know how to react so I graciously accepted it. It was midday and I asked if they wanted a glass.. they didn't, so I put a bottle in the fridge for later. We visited here awhile, then they went out for an appt., planning to come back for dinner. While they were gone, I drank the bottle in the fridge, went out to buy more because it wasn't enough! and I knew I couldn't drink both of their bottles.. put their other bottle in the fridge and placed the empty bottle in a place where they could see it, but hopefully not notice it was empty. F***! How humilitating! What a lot of work! When they got back, I was naturally pretty lit.. We opened the bottle in the fridge and they each had a small glass as the guy explained that he wasn't drinking much anymore. That was so awful. On so many levels.
Anyway, haven't really talked to them since.. It took me a while to decide whether or not to write them a message, when they asked if they could come by, "i wanted to let you know ahead of time, because you alway bring such lovely wine, that i don't drink alcohol anymore.."". I'm quite sure they wouldn't have brought it anyway after our last meeting.. and I was afraid of sounding presumptuous.. and I was a bit worried about what they might think. BUT, I realized that I actually don't care. They'll probably be highly relieved!
Anyway, long story.
There are several people that I need to be up front with about my decision not to drink. I'm not quite sure how, but I'll figure it out. Yesterday at work I was talking to a colleague with whom I used to spend quite a bit of time. I said to her that we should get together soon! Later I mentioned it to my friend/closest colleague and she said, that sounds great. Then she told me that "K" had asked her some time ago whether or not I was angry with her, that she had the feeling I didn't like her anymore.. My sweet friend assured her that that wasn't the case, that it had nothing to do with her. I, completely absorbed with myself, on my roller coaster in hell, hadn't noticed to what degree I was shutting people out of my life. Thank God, I never have to go there again.

ok. blah blah..

Big hugs to all of you! TGIF.. xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - reading your post about the friends coming to visit, and your need to tell other friends somehow, reminded me a little bit of coming out. A lot of times when LGBTQ people "come out" to friends or co-workers or (in the case of public figures) the public, other people respond with: "who cares, we don't need to know this, why did you tell us, etc etc" But what those other people don't get is, coming out isn't for them. It's for the speaker, the person sharing their truth, the person who wants to live authentically and out in the open. Keep that it mind as you mull over how you'd like to tell other friends about your quit. It's for you. Ultimately, they probably won't care and might even tell you such, but this is a gift you're giving yourself not them, so craft it in whatever way feels best for YOU. :heartbeat:

Pav - Fires always cause such tragedy, and this round seems particularly bad, especially due to the PGE source on some and the arsonist they caught setting a dozen or so others (did you read/hear about that?). As you said, people who were just barely hanging on will suffer the most. It's all very sad, and I'm glad you are safe. PS - the path into my current line of work has been very serendipitous and somehow also totally logical. I've always worked in education & training, much of it at the university level. Prior to my current work I taught adult ESL/business English for expats working at big companies in the U.S and abroad for about 8 years. One of my students wanted to get his MBA and asked if I could tutor him for the GMAT, the graduate entry test for MBA programs. I found out I was really good at the test itself and also happened to have solid teaching skills. Most tutors are just people who "got a high score on the test" and maybe need a summer gig before they start school. I knew I had a unique perspective and background to offer as a tutor in this field and I hung out my shingle to test the waters. Slowly things built through referrals, word-of-mouth, and getting some solid online reviews for my work. After my car accident in 2017 I knew I didn't want to commute anywhere near as much as I had been, and I decided to explore tutoring online, which opened up an entire world of possible students. I wasn't sure I'd like online at first, but it actually works very well for test prep tutoring and my commute is awesome!

Ava - just another nester reaching out and checking in. How are you doing???


Happy Friday days and eves to everyone. And Happy November!!!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

A BRAVE and vulnerable move, LC. I admire that. That's what we need to do to stay focused and sober. I hope you have a great visit.

Glad hubs is ok, Lav. My experience here says he won't listen about the diet, but what do I know??

Running to work. Being at a school on the day after Halloween is always an experience. Wish me luck!

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesties! Slight sugar hangover here. I couldn't resist the chocolate and Swedish Fish - my favorites. But a nice start to a Friday working from home. I need a quiet day!

Wagmore, GREAT comment on why revealing important things about ourselves and our identity is so WE can live authentically. Thank you for sharing the correlation about you coming out. Also, isn’t it amazing how doors open in our lives (professional and otherwise) - and we just have to notice and be brave enough to walk through?

PAV, I am glad you are safe. These times are really testing how much we want to help each other in this world, versus be out for ourselves. I personally believe we are all connected and that helping others is helping ourselves. Stronger together.

LC, sorry you’re having headaches. Did you change your sleeping position or pillow recently? I keep waking up with pain between my shoulders. Something isn’t right - might be the source of my neck pain. But then I think about how people used to sleep on straw, or who knows what… there certainly wasn’t much support on that!

Happy BDAY Byrdie! I hope it brings you great new things this year!

PAV, I always wondered why there is school day after Halloween. Sugar hangovers or highs - must be a nightmare! I always eat more sugar than I should around this holiday because it’s at my house. Having had candy every day for the past 2 weeks, I get afternoon cravings, much like my old alcohol cravings. I’m certain they were intertwined.

An excerpt from the Tempest Sobriety School Newsletter, by Holly Whitaker:

"A super common misconception we hear about quitting drinking is that it’s an experience of lack. Society tells us that it’s giving up something, a consequence of bad behavior or an inability to drink “responsibly”— and that if we quit drinking we'll be missing out. This is why it takes many of us so long to even consider sobriety— we think it means we're settling for less or that we've somehow failed.

Except that’s completely untrue.

Yes, you give up alcohol, but in exchange, you get everything else in life you’ve been looking for. And one of those things (and what we want to talk about today) is JOY. Before I quit drinking, alcohol— and*life in general— had blocked my joy, and sobriety is where I actively began to pursue it.

When I first stopped drinking— because it felt at first like such a loss and because I didn’t have alcohol to numb me from...everything— I had to intentionally seek joy out. I bought a trampoline for my desk, I sang in the shower, I started waking up in the mornings and dancing my butt off, I colored with crayons. I tried anything I could think of that might bring me joy.

And what happened was: I started to come back to life."

One thing I know is that if I hadn't made joy a priority in my life, sobriety would have been profoundly harder for me. Another thing I know*from years of telling people to “actively call in joy” is that most people feel overwhelmed by it— but joy doesn't have to be some*grand practice. Sometimes, it's the simplest things that bring us awe.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

That I NEVER! again have to worry or deal with all of the shit alcohol brought to my life. That is a such a good feeling..

One day it suddenly struck me, [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], that "I never have to drink again" - such liberation. Until that moment it had been I shouldn't, I promise I won't, I can't, etc. - all negative words of deprivation. And I really did feel like I 'had' to drink. I absolutely did not feel like it was a choice. My messed up brain seemed to be convinced the world would end or I'd die without it. What a big false story that was that I believed to be true.

Isn't it great that we never have to drink or deal with the consequences of that again in our entire lives? Sure, we can drink, but why on earth would we???

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

The rains are here! After two shocking hot days for a woman in menopause i just had to go and stand in that rain and appreciate it. We have such bad drought elsewhere in Australia so i hope they are getting something. Climate change has a lot to do with the way our weather is for sure. Its great the young can see what is happening but the politicians stick their head in the very dry sand and ignore the obvious. (oops a rant).

G and LC, thanks for asking how i am. Im doing way better, seem to have found some energy and changing my diet (should have taken in what you were saying G about plant based foods etc). Its funny (well i laughed) but the kids bought me a beaut blender 6-7 years ago and i used it three times and put it away, i think it was too much effort and a wine was a way better option at the time. Well i dusted off said blender and it is just fantastic, i have a lot of juices now and not much processed crap so slowly feeling better. hot flushes arent 24/7 and not tired 24/7 either.

My cousin is visiting on Wednesday for a week so having a few days off and cant wait. A positive of sobriety is actually being "bothered" to do things. We will go and visit my mother and depending on how she "behaves" might stay so i can show my cous the sites of the place. I need to have a house clean, blah to that one.

LC glad to see you checking in here daily. It really is my first accountability tool . great story about your past revisit with your friend, i am sure this one will be lovely and dont be ashamed. the past is the past, something we cannot change even if we wish. That was you, that isnt you now, we all change and sobriety makes it for the better. I would not have this life now if i was drinking but it was hard to achieve. Rome wasnt built in a day. I hope your mum got home safe and its lovely to hear that you had such a wonderful time with her. I wish i had that relationship with my mother but alas no, she wont change but that is her choice, not mine.

Well today may be the housework day since it is pouring rain or it might be knitting day and not doing much else. I do want to get out in the vege garden and plant some stuff, i hated gardening, well it took up drinking time, but now really enjoy playing with dirt, as carl also does!

Hows your new puppy Pauly? i have had the worst hayfever this year, if i could only pop my eyeballs into a glass of cold water, life would be great. i stopped getting hayfever when i fell pregnant 32 years ago but its come back. Not an option i want to look at to stop it again though!

Happy birthday Byrd, i hope it was wonderful.

take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends near and not so far,

Wags, thanks for your great post! It's glaringly obvious to me that you would absolutely raaaawk with your students.

Ava, hope the hayfever dissipates. A bloke told me years ago that acupuncture stopped it, but i've never tried it. By ALL accounts, you are on the correct path for ultimate body and mind performance with a plant strong diet. Lot's of science indicates chronic illness has far less of a chance to infiltrate our bodies and take hold when we're munching on a variety of real fresh plant food grown in the ground. Just watch the pesticides as best as possible.

Raawkin LC.

Have a nice weekend evabody. No ticket to no freakin' gawd damn cottin pickin popsicle lickin boozeville round here pilgrims.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well last night’s storms sparked up a few tornados in the area, ugh. There was an EF-2 that did some serious damage to a few homes a bit northeast from here, geez.
Now it’s dry & cold out - talk about weather changes!

About telling people that you no longer drink - definitely do as Wags said, at your leisure & your comfort. We don’t owe anyone an explanation about our choice. It’s none of their business why we made the choice we did

Hello to all & wishing a safe & comfy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I appreciate all the warm witches! I had a wonderful birthday. We went next door for dinner. Now if you were going to a Halloween party, would you go in a costume? Me, too! I was the only one who did. Oh well! I was also the only one not drinking. Neither bothered me at all!
It is amazing to me that I can now attend a party with no desire for AL at all. Parties used to be such a source of anxiety for me.
Kensho, this is the JOY to which you refer. It’s MindPeace, and there’s nothing like it!
No ticket to BoozeVille here!
Thank you all!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

I liked your toothpaste costume Byrdie,very cute surprised nobody else dressed up party poopers haha!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,LC,yep it's gotta be that "I never HAVE to drink again" mentality that we hafta adopt,I spent too many years before and after coming to MWO with that deprivation feeling when I was trying to quit and it only kept me stuck in the relapse cycle,now I think of beer and my tummy just hurts,plus I don't want to check out mentally anymore I used to love that feeling but now it gives me the creeps,Ava,the puppy is still a bit annoying especially in the morning still but I figure he's just in love with us haha,last night I was watching "Bridget Jones baby" on TV and she was in labor and moaning in pain and I think Spencer thought it was me cuz he came dashing upstairs to check on me,it was really cute I'm also in the hormone roller coaster and I've read that hayfever can get worse during that time,who knows but it's like being constantly sick! I've sneezed soooooo many times this morning I've lost count waves to the gang and wishes for a happy and healthy day,don't drink-its gross!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I used to love that feeling but now it gives me the creeps,

I loved it, too, [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]. A couple nights ago after I took a bath that was way too hot and long, I felt as weird and woozy as when I used to drink in there. As I lay there on the bed waiting to feel better, I thought about all the times I felt that way and DIDN’T feel better - just fell into bed and passed out until the 2am wake up to sickness and regrets. That memory gives me total CREEPS!