Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

And NOT have the complementary wine with it!!

It isn't very helpful that alcohol seems to be served everywhere, is it?? When did it become a normal part of a hair cut??? Or de rigueur at baby showers (where the guest of honor can't participate without being judged harshly)? I know people who won't go to movie theaters anymore unless it is one that sells booze. I'm not trying to make excuses for us or anyone else but over my adult life, alcohol has become more a part of almost every leisure activity than it used to be which of course makes drinking poison seem at least normal and more than that, it is encouraged. No wonder people who are susceptible to addiction get trapped and that those of us who know we can't drink it have to remain cautious and aware.

Maybe hairdressers hope the wine will mellow you out and you won't be picky about your haircut. Sober you can make sure s/he does a good job!!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nursie, how are you doing today? I’m sorry you have felt down. Keep looking to the bright and you will find your way again.

Pauly, thank you for the reminder about additional drinking experiments getting worse. Your Mike’s Lemonade story reminds me EXACTLY why I don’t want to go down any rabbit holes. Alcohol is all I would think about. I know from experience. In that way, we are exactly the same.

PAV Awesome job on day 2 of clean eating. It becomes the new normal after a few days… you’ll get back on the track you want. Good job! Thanks for your thoughts on Italy… I definitely think I can focus on food and experience. It’s my husband that I need to deal wtih. We need to have a conversation about how we can both have the experience we want regarding alcohol. I don’t want to be drug to alcohol destinations constantly, and he doesn’t want to feel wrong for drinking. Somewhere, we need to make a plan that respects each other’s needs. I’ll be good if I don’t have pressure from him. Can’t wait for that food!!!

G - pumping iron, health food and veggies, “do what you love”…. You are a different person now than you were when addicted a couple of years back. SO happy for the zeal and zest you have for your every moment. High five buddy!

LC - free as a bird… isn’t that a wonderful feeling? We all still wake up sometimes feeling like crap. The difference is that it isn’t compounded by a hangover. What a difference facing the day without the immediate handicap of drinking?

LC and Wags, we’re visiting all the big attractions in Italy - we will be there nearly 3 weeks after spending a couple days in Munich. Is that where you live LC?

I’m trying to remember how this conversation started, but my 10 yr. old daughter asked me if I was going to drink wine in italy. She said, “I like you better when you are not drinking. You’re more ‘here’ and you’re more happy.” GOSH, if that’s not ALL the reason I need. She asked if I wanted to just drink for the vacation and then stop, and I explained to her that that is not a likely scenario - that people who are addicts like me often can’t stop once they start again, and that it would cause me to think about alcohol all of the time.

Anyway, she had quite an adult conversation with me, and I didn’t hold back. I told her that it meant the world to me that she supports me and my decision. :heartbeat:

Now, if only my husband and I can get on the same page….

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

I've had a strange ambivalence to alcohol the last few months. And I know I need to fix this before much more time passes. So I just spent the last hour and a half going back through posts December 2017 and read what I wrote before and just after my quit. WOW. The struggle I was having, how alcohol consumed me... wow. Some of the things you guys wrote were, well... you were really there for me. It is uncomfortable to read how I felt then - I feel like a different person now. I have really incorporated all other things instead of alcohol, have a new life. So for me to not scream from the rooftops that I would not drink in Italy when my husband asked? Shame on me. I don't want to remember how I felt back then - because every day now I think about how happy I currently am. I think it might be a really, really good idea to have a document with some of my thoughts and challenges and behaviors (and some of your wise responses) to review until I'm good and clear about why I never want to drink again. THEN I'll have a talk with my husband about Italy.

LC, you said this on 12/4/17:

"But what it comes down to, is that YOU know what alcohol does to you even if no one else does.. and once we know this, deep in our hearts, there's no going back. It's just a matter of time until we've had enough."

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

I am at the airport and I think the busiest place is the pub. I remember going there before a flight and getting half wasted and then taking the flight. The attendant couldn’t serve me booze quick enough. My whole flight revolves around drinking. I would say it was my birthday to get an extra drink.

Yeah, Life, no thanks to drinking while getting a hair cut. I agree NS, booze is everywhere.

Ken, those old posts are crazy. I have to go back and read some, we have all come so far, thank goodness.

Vancouver is nice, I go there every year since I have family there. I am mostly going to see my niece because my brother doesn’t bring her to Calgary much. The last time they visited was 2 years ago. It’s kinda painful to visit him and my SIL, I don’t think they have a very happy marriage.
Anyway, I will have a good time and I look forward to eating some good food. Tonight we are going for delicious Mexican food and then Ice Cream. We will be seeing hubby’s brother and partner in Gastown. They are a blast.

Take it easy everyone and don’t drink, it’s gross.
Xo

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great posts, as usual. I’m convinced there’s not a wiser group of folks on Earth.
LC, your words “I'm becoming less afraid to make plans because I can count on myself to follow through” really rang true with me. I pride myself on keeping my word to others, the problem was, I couldn’t keep it to myself. I feel more authentic and trustworthy to MYSELF!
Thank you for that reminder.
Travel safely, all who are hitting the road! Remember, AL is gross! :egad: Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Cold front moving in behind this rain I hear, oh well. At least we have a good fire place & plenty of firewood.

Nar, enjoy your trip & bring home good memories.

Kensho, I truly believe we can do whatever we want so a sober trip to Italy is totally possible. You’ll bring home good memories as well

LC, carrot cake, apple cake - I’ll take both but I have to make them without dairy. Vegan baking is actually pretty simple & tasty too. Glad you are enjoying the AF life!

Hello to Byrdie, Pauly, Wags, NS & everyone checking on today.
Wishing a safe & cozy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - great post with lots of insights. Congrats on 42 days and how far you've come. You seem like you're in a different head space than in the past when you've gotten to about this point. I think you'll find that making AL non-negotiable, totally off the table, will help a lot. Things WILL come up, triggers WILL happen, but having the mindset that "I don't drink so what else can I do to get through this?" will make a big difference on the side of success. :yay: for you!

Kensho - Reading back through old posts is a great idea, and I can't think of a better way to really reconnect with how you were feeling before and after your quit. Your plan of clarifying your thoughts before you talk with your husband sounds like a great way to go. You're going to love Italy! if you're planning to do any travel by train in Italy (or in Europe in general) I highly recommend the website The Man in Seat Sixty-One - the train travel guide... The guy who runs the site and writes most/all of the content is a wealth of knowledge about train travel in Europe. We found the info there to be extremely thorough and helpful. I can't wait to hear more details as you nail down your plans.

I had so many other things I wanted to reply to people about but I'm going to have to wait until tomorrow or Sat. I'm mentally very tired and am falling asleep as I type! Have wonderful Fridays everyone. Definitely don't drink. It's super-gross.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Friends!!

Thank goodness it's Friday, I say!
Kensho, I'm so excited for your trip! It says a lot that both of your kids trusted you enough to be able to talk to you about their concerns with whether or not you'll drink on the trip. And that they like you better when you don't drink..:love: You like yourself better, too. I think it is good for us to read back sometimes and see how miserable we were, see what a mental and emotional hell we were putting ourselves through. I don't need to do that quite yet, because it wasn't so long ago that I was still in it.. but I can imagine that after a year or two, the memories will have faded. Even if you could manage to drink just a bit, you would be miserable with the mindf*** that goes along with it.. and hiding it again from your kids.. I know you'll find your way back to being 100% sure! :love: ps, I live in Berlin..
Wags. great train link.. thanks for that!
Lav, both the cake recipes I have are dairy free.. Just a couple of eggs, which you have plenty of!!

Gosh, I also wanted to respond to more posts.. will get back later today, or latest Saturday..
Wishing everyone a nice day..xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Raaaawkin LC! :llama::horn:

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All!

TFIF amiright?!

Kensho - yep, reading back is a must. I hope things go well with your husband. Will your kids be with you on your trip? That IS insightful for a 10 year old - interesting that she asked that. My son was 11 when I quit and I remember asking me if I had quit forever and then telling me that I would be his role model (not sure that has lasted through the teen years, but at least he has the foundation...) And I wouldn't exactly say "clean eating," just "not shoving candy and cake in my gullet at every chance." Baby steps...

I, too, lost track of all of my replies. I do want some of that rain, Lav! And I want some of that happiness, G!

Have fabulous days - and don't drink!
Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

TFiF, here I am in Vancouver! Nice waking up early and feeling good.

LC, way to go, that is great! It should be 43 days now.

Pav, I hope things have settled down in Cali.

Lav, there is a huge Christmas craft fair here, not sure if I will make it though. Oh yeah, and Carrot Cake? I love it. That was our wedding cake, yummy!

Ken, I am excited for your trip to Italy, that is going to be a blast! There is so much to do there besides drink wine.

Wags, G, everyone, have a great weekend.
Byrdie-, Pauly; enjoy your weekend.

Don’t drink today, it’s gross.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yo friends S'up.

Hi Narilly! Have a blast mi amiga.

Pav, i want some of that full, rich family life you have too! haha. i'd exchange some of that chaos for some of my happiness.....er, i think. :happy2:

I reckon i'm just optimistic and relaxed more so than actually happy. But for me, i go for balance. That is my priority regarding any contentment or sanity. If i can address my passions and mission statement for life on this planet regularly without things/my time spent leaning too heavily in just one area, then i seem to be ok. It's taken me a few years to orchestrate this with work and free time for music, but the balance is ok now. Of course, this is easy for me as i am a gypsy rogue with not many responsibilities and commitments. Different when u are running a family. However, this may change dramatically for me down the track (family). I'm waffling, but my point is my happiness relies on me being able to address my passions regularly, or i go insane. When i hit family life and settle down, suspect i'm a gonna need to fit in music in drips and drabs where i can. You can read the FULL version of this diatribe at itsallaboutme.com

Friend Kensho. Italy! Wowza. I bet you'll love it. My other band might be travelling through there next year. Imagine if i bumped into you and LC. lol. Stranger things have happened.

The obsession for boozing really does lift dramatically with time. It's as simple as this - We've just gotta git through this day, to quote a local legend.

It's just friday not a ticket to no freakin finger lickin KFC coated greasy chicken fried boozeville.

Big waves to evabody. Have a bewdy.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

What a crazy week it's been. I've been going full tilt this week and just turned in my weekly activity tracker and put a disclaimer that it didn't reflect all I had done. We had some folks on vacation and that puts more stress on the rest of the team. I have so much to do and I have not adaquately prepared for my Linked In presentation on Monday and then Wednesday I'm leaving for a trade show. This afternoon, a flock of egrets landed in the yard and I was mesmerized. I felt guilty for watching them instead of doing my emails and thought, you know, those emails will be there long after these birds. Sometimes you gotta stop and smell the roses!

Remember, it's only Friday, NOT a ticket to BoozeVille! :rara: Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I reckon i'm just optimistic and relaxed more so than actually happy.

My personal opinion, Mr G, is that it's a fool's errand to chase happiness. Given my general definition, to be constantly happy is pretty much unattainable.

Over the last 6 years I've experienced happiness and even on occasion, joy, but mostly I've felt peaceful and content. I wouldn't trade those feelings of well-being for anything, least of all booze!

Have a good weekend, Nesters! xx, NS

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Getting pretty chilly here in my part of the nest, oh boy!! Just saw next week’s long range forecast for temps of -18, GEEZ!
I’m all packed up for tomorrow’s craft show, hope there’s a huge turnout/ You never really know with these things.
My oldest grandson is turning 11 later this month. HE’S the reason I finally got my sh*t together & quit for good. My actual anniversary date is March, it took me that long to completely commit & I am so grateful that I finally did. I’ve protected this quit thru thick & thin, life hasn’t been all fun & roses naturally. But once I am committed to something that’s it!!!! We can all do this, we all deserve the life we truly want.

Byrdie, I sure hope you enjoyed your bird watching this afternoon. I would have done the same thing, believe me.

Hi to NS, G, Wags, Narilly, Kensho, Pav & everyone.
Let’s all have a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav