Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thursday morning greetings from WagLand. I'm heading into a jam-packed 3-4 days and possibly longer. Another big test date is coming up a week from Monday and people are starting to get nervous. Plus I've already got several students who are taking their tests in Jan or Feb so kind of double duty right now. Plus my wife just learned she has to have a tooth extracted and a bone graft on that part of her jaw, which all got semi-emergency scheduled for 7am tomorrow morning. I'll be accompanying her/driving her/helping her get back to the car after that. Not awesome timing but even more importantly I feel bad for her - she's in a ton of pain and the loss of a tooth (very back molar) isn't great either. Between the shoulder surgery and this, she has had a hard year.

The talk of being invited vs actually attending various social events resonates a lot with me. I'm a slight extravert, but I don't like social things where superficial small talk is the name of the game. I'd rather go to either a small gathering (4-6 people) where we can all really visit (or play a game), or a gigantic event like a festival where it's more about the energy of the crowd than chatting. Having said all of that, I'm becoming more of an "evening homebody" where it's harder to leave the house after dinner, after dark, etc.

Have great days everyone - I'll pop back on here this evening. Don't drink - be a badass instead!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest!

Wags! This paragraph describes me to a T. We need to get together for a game!

The talk of being invited vs actually attending various social events resonates a lot with me. I'm a slight extravert, but I don't like social things where superficial small talk is the name of the game. I'd rather go to either a small gathering (4-6 people) where we can all really visit (or play a game), or a gigantic event like a festival where it's more about the energy of the crowd than chatting. Having said all of that, I'm becoming more of an "evening homebody" where it's harder to leave the house after dinner, after dark, etc.

Sorry about your wife. That sounds brutal. And sorry about the timing for you. I know it is hard to think of yourself because she's the one in pain, but the timing stinks. Take care of yourself!

NoSugar - we have to find each other on Twitter. I actually saved that tweet as well. Hilarious. There's also a Courtney Barnett song that says "I want to go out, but I want to stay home." The title of the song is "No One Really Cares if You Don't Go to the Party." Even most "obligations" in the party realm are optional - no one REALLY cares, especially if it is a big holiday party. I am a proud proponent of the words "No thank you" around this time. I'll be home with my 4-6 friends, my deck of cards, and my comfortable couch.

Running to work. Happy SOBER Thursday.

Pav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

All's well here. A little crazy; in a good way, but i ain't complaining. Good luck to the missus for the op Wags.

Did i dream you have 14 days sober Nursie? I think i read it last night as i drifted orf. Either way - Raaawk star!!

Big waves to y'all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good frosty evening Nesters,

Yep it’s chilly but we had a good bit of sunshine today so that’s good
I used my IP to make a really good minestrone this afternoon. I precooked the kale in the IP before making the soup. I can only eat kale when it’s ‘well done’, haha. This method worked out perfectly.

Wags, sorry about your wife’s health issues, hope everything turns out OK. She certainly deserves a much better year ahead

Pav, I’ve turned into a homebody too. At my age there really is nothing much going on anyway, haha! We did get out for an evening concert a few weeks ago, that was fun.

Hi to Narilly, G, LC & everyone stopping by later.
Byrdie, hope you are OK.

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all, from chilly Atlanta! I’m at a trade show.

I ran in to an old friend/coworker at the show this morning. He worked with me in the mid 90’s. I was just going to say he was a heavy drinker back then, but caught myself, we were BOTH heavy drinkers back then. My current coworker told me he had gotten sober so when he came by the booth this morning and shared that he got ‘S#it-faced’ last night, my worker said ‘I thought you quit drinking.’ He said, ‘I did, for 3 years, I’m really watching it now’. Well, it doesn’t sound like it if he got messed up last night. I’m just glad that’s not me. I don’t want to fight any more with AL. I spent 30 years fighting it, I lost, in every way. I felt a moment of real pride. Getting sober is one thing, STAYING sober is another. I hope he is able to get his arms around his issue and beat it.
My feet are filing for divorce. Another early morning tomorrow. Home Sattidy. Hugs to all! Byrdie

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Night time check in! Didn’t get to read back today. Big audit at work today and it went well but I’m so exhausted!
Had a quick default thinking to go drink and celebrate, but I made it through that and reminded myself I don’t drink.
Hope all is well in the nest! Xoxo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Wags, your poor wife.. Those dental issues can be a real pain. I hope everything goes well with the procedure and that she doesn't have too much discomfort. Wishing you the best for your upcoming 3-4 day workathon!
Nursie, well done!! Glad to hear you did well on the audit.. No, we don't drink!

Short post from me this morning, running off to work. I've been in an off mood the past couple of days, doing my best to stay in movement, not let my insecurities/thoughts get the best of me. My body is feeling tired/old! And my eldest and I are having a difficult time communicating.. seems we don't understand each other at all right now. I've got 50 AF days today, which is wonderful.. I keep reminding myself that I'm not perfect and never will be. It's ok to make mistakes and to have people upset with me. Last week was TGIF and this week is TFIF!!! Looking forward to the weekend to relax. Safe travels home, Byrdie..
See you all later on today.
Wishing everyone a good Friday!xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi y'all,

LC, i used to have a few off moods/days or few hours i recall more so in the first months AF. Much less so now, only occassionally (and i know what to do to change it - go running). I put it down to my mind rewiring and realising it doesn't git booze to cope anymore, so it must find alternatives, therefore causing a bit of a funk. I dunno, i think that's what used to happen.

Have a great weekend evabody. A peaceful and joyous one. Do what u love.

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

G that sounds about right- it’s all rewiring and reconfiguring in that brain of ours! That makes sense.

Day 11 here! Gotta get to work! Will try to check in at lunchtime to read back. Xoxo

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nursie - congrats on the successful audit completion, and even bigger congrats on getting past the "go drink and celebrate" thoughts. I always found it helpful to replace "drink" with "poison myself" and those thoughts that seemed like such *great* ideas suddenly seemed absurd. Why on earth would I drink poison to celebrate? I'd never do it! Well, that's what al is - especially for folks like us. You've got this and you just proved it!

LC - sorry to hear about the communication difficulties with your eldest, but you don't have to be perfect and you're doing just fantastic as you are. [MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION] might just have the right idea in his post - find your equivalent of "running" that you can turn to. Or equivalents plural I should say, as I suspect most of us have several similar things, including G's yoga/meditation routine (still doing that G?). Mine main ones are biking, working out, listening to music, and getting out into nature (even if just a local park). You probably already have some of these things you turn to - what are they, and what else could you add?

Byrdie - sad about the guy at the tradeshow who quit but now is just "really watching it" because that obviously isn't working for him. Good for you on choosing and protecting your different path, and best wishes for a great show and safe travels home.


Ok, we're off to the oral surgeon in about 30 minutes. Just have to give our pup a good walk and get her settled, then walk to the bus stop. We could drive, but honestly I'm glad we decided to use the bus - it takes one responsibility off my shoulders for the morning. I'm hoping all goes smoothly and that I can get my wife home and comfortable by mid to late morning. Then I've got two tutoring sessions this pm so a pretty full day. Here we go!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning:

Good luck, Wags and Wife. Hope it all goes ok.

Congratulations, Nursie. Keep it going!

Byrdie - those situations make me uncomfortable. You KNOW that's not a good situation. I hope you're making a lot of connections and that the trade show is valuable for you.

Good advice, G. I wish I was a runner - so easy just to lace up and go out for a good workout in a short time. My hiking is good, but a longer prospect...

LC - I've been off this week, too. A lot of anxiety and I had insomnia last night. I was thinking about the insomnia from the old days - tossing and turning with the GSR brothers in my head. I'm so glad to toss and turn WITHOUT that! We'll feel better - I know we will. I know what I need, too. EXERCISE!

Stay warm, Lav. Hi, Belle - hope all is ok. Are you around?

TFIF, I agree.

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Wags,hope your wife's tooth surgery went smoothly,tooth loss sucks but at least it's in the back and she won't be in pain anymore,I had the biggest batch of urges to drink these past few days that I haven't felt on MONTHS! Very very uncomfortable and the more I'd try to get rid of them the stronger they'd come,I don't even want to drink but I think the approaching holidays is turning on my Rose colored glasses (need to let my puppy chew on those and destroy them!) There's also physical feelings that go along with the urge for me I get shaky,Spacey,upset stomach,etc I think it's paws and I've read to just ride it out and don't resent the feels cuz it just makes it harder,like my sig says I have too much shit to do to drink! Waves to the gang and wishes for a wonderful AF day

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

X-post as always Pav hahaha

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Not quite as cold today & that's fine with me
I actually didn't do a whole lot today & that's fine too.

LC, awesome on your 50 AF day :welldone:
I have to tell yo that my daughter & I run into 'communication issues' once in a while too. It's normal & not necessarily fatal so please don't feel bad. We're all moody & stuff happens & these things usually clear up on their own.

Byrdie, why in the name of anything would that guy give up a 3 year quit? That's really sad & I imagine he's regretting his decision. I hope you have a safe trip home & a good weekend.

Pauly, your description of symptoms sounds a lot like a blood sugar drop. Why don't you reach for some protein when that happens. You know you don't want or need booze. A smear of peanut butter on a cracker or something works like a charm

Wags, I hope the surgery went well today & you're both home & settled in.

Hello to nursie, Pav, G & everyone.

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Unhung Saturday morning, Nesters!

It's cold and wet and our favourite shade of late autmn grey!:happy2: Gosh, I'm thinking this is the time of year I blocked/blacked out. I sure don't remember it being sooooo drab. But I've got the heaters on, the candles lit.. I got a couple more warm blankets.
It was a long and hard week and drinking crossed my mind as something I used to do to deal. Yesterday at 9 am my colleague opened a bottle of wine to cook with and took a small swig, exclaiming suprisingly that it was a really good wine. I remembered all the times I drank at work to make it more fun, more bearable..? Yuck. Now my mind seems to pass quite quickly by the romantic bits, straight to the reality. I know what having "A" drink means for me and I know what "getting smashed" means for me. Neither are worth the pain and regret that come after.. As you said, Pav! I'm understanding/seeing the light! I'm in this funny place of, I've been here before, but also not really. I feel like the past 7 weeks have been a great time of re-learning how to live, deal with life, stay in the moment, hear and follow advice.. I sure don't want to jeopardize losing all of that by having a drink.
Wags, you listed some of the things you've gained in your sobriety and asked me make a short list.. in these few weeks, I've been much more honest with myself and others, I've been there mentally and physically for my daughters, my job, my friends, I've caught up on sleep and rid myself of the GSR's, I haven't missed a day of work, I've saved around 500 euros (and bought some nice things/food instead), I've kept my promises and haven't cancelled on anyone.. and haven't made dates I know I can't keep, I've begun to see and understand my "lower brain" for what it is! That's the short list. That's so much! And what have I lost? Only things I didn't want/need..
Last night my younger daughter and I were playing jacks! She found them and wanted to try it out (she's 15!).. it was so much fun, sitting on the floor, joking around.. I said, guess what today is? she asked, what? I said, I haven't had a drink of alcohol in 50 days.. she asked when the last time I drank was and I couldn't really remember the circumstances because it was all such a blur of the same thing every day. I told her that I never want to drink alcohol again and she gave me a high 5.
At some point soon I will talk to the girls in more detail. I'm a bit afraid still so I want to wait until I'm feeling even stronger. I'm afraid of the guilt I MIGHT feel..

Pauly, good that you're aware of what might be going on. Your pup should definitely chew up those rose coloured glasses. We all have way too much to do to get caught up in the hell of drinking alcohol. We know where those lies take us. I was just reading about how trying to get rid of the urges/cravings can make it worse. Like trying to push down any sorts of emotions.. What about playing it forward? HONESTLY.. going through the steps of what really happens if you have a "cheeky drink" or a "Holiday drink".. Write it out here in the Nest! Stay present here.. eat some good protein, as Lav said! Just don't drink, no matter what!:love:

That reminds me, I began watching a British film on netflix the other day and within the first 4 minutes, one of the ladies said to the other, middle of the day "Let's have a cheeky brandy!".. I just turned that stupid movie off! :happy2:

Ok. daughter awake and we've got a full day of shopping and baking planned.. Thank god I'm not hung over!
Love to all of you!, Pav, Ava, Lav, Gman, Nar, Wags, Nursie, Belle (come back!), NS, Kensho, everyone flying or stopping by.. Today is just as good a day as any other to stop the madness. xx