Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters,

quick fly by on my way to work. Well, first breakfast and then work.
Shades, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

love to all of you and see you later.xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Shades, so sorry for the loss of your son. May he rest in peace. Please try to take care of yourself as best you can. We are here for you too.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Me- I’m struggling today. I have a hair appointment tonight and as dumb as it may sound, I always truly enjoy having the complimentary wine while receiving my spa treatments. I MUST change this way of thinking and need some ideas on how to say no when they bring it to me.

How about - 'No thanks'.

If just one (complimentary) why not none?

How did u go mi amiga? Punk Hair Goes Wild - Crazy New Hair Styles 1.jpg

It's a gorgeous day here, sunny 19C. So great to be barefoot on the beach taking my time cruising along. Salt water dripping from the body as the gentle sun warms the soul. It did help having a sci...ssin....i say scintillating convo with a hot latina. Big waves to evabody.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
Double check-in this morning for yesterday and today. Had to work a long day yesterday, and son came home from college. AND I DID NOT DRINK! First time I made it through day 2 in a long time!!! Yesterday I felt like crap too due to taking some stupid over the counter sleep aid the night before, so a good nap was in order while hubs and son made dinner. Kept me out of the kitchen and the rest of that wine I was going to pour out got used in the recipe they made.

Nursie, I hope you made it through that spa without the AL. I went to a hairdresser in another country once where they just automatically gave you a big glass of wine as you sat in the chair. that was pre-AL problem days (that I knew of). I said wtf? as they just handed it and walked away. I'm pretty good at saying 'no thank you' in public these days, it is just at home I have my struggles.

And everyone else, thank you for your continued support, butt kicks and everything else I need to get to where I want to be. and that is AL Free.

I wanted to check in before the day started since I missed yesterday, and now I can read back again


Have a good day all.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Shades, I'm so sorry at the loss of your son. My son is having struggles now and it is just breaking my heart. Thinking of you and sending you peace.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nursie - sometimes those habitual/casual opportunities to drink (like at the salon) can be among the hardest to change or say no to - almost like they seem so innocent in comparison to the loud screaming end-of-a-hard-day drinks we see coming for hours. But you DO see this situation coming and you can choose differently. As G suggested, something like "no thanks, not today" works well. Sending you some extra strength!

Belle - congrats on Day Two!!! Now for the trifecta.

G - your weather (and walking barefoot on the beach) sounds pretty wonderful right about now. Many of us in the northern hemi are heading into cold weather (or already in it) - we've got a big storm bringing ice and snow to the pacific NW all the way inland to the rocky mtns (so about 1/4 to 1/3 of the way across this very wide country/continent). I'd trade for the beach any day.

Hellos and waves to LC, Lav, Pav, Byrdie, Ava, Kensho, Shades, and everyone else stopping by to spend time in the nest today. Feeling especially lucky to have this space to come together. Have great days and eves everyone!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Shades, I'm so sorry for your loss. That must be devastating to bury a child. My best to you and your family during this hard time. I'm so, so sorry.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest--

Kensho - I LOVE Project Runway. I know there's an inner artist in me somewhere - I just need to bring it out. I am so amazed by the creativity and the sewing ability on that show. I do love the snow, but I think I'll always appreciate it as a visitor - I don't want to shovel snow all winter!

Belle - Awesome that you made it to day 2, and how nice that they made dinner for you. Keep it up! And I agree with Ava - convince your husband to support you or do what you need to do to get by in spite of him!

Nursie - The good news is that you're anticipating the draw of that glass of wine and making a plan BEFORE hand. I know I am posting after the fact, but maybe next time purchase your favorite non-alcoholic drink to take in with you?

Glad you have some time off, Wags. Or at least some down time. The house projects always call, but I don't always answer. Enjoy some fun time, too.

Love the beach, Mr. G. Embrace the salt! Good luck with that connection! :love:

We finally got rain here - much needed and I hope it is the start of a wet winter - we'll see. Of course I'd prefer it come when I didn't have a day off, but I guess I won't be choosy. Cooking and loafing around today - I can't wait.

Happy SOBER Thanksgiving Eve.

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Shades, I am so sorry that your son had such hard a hard struggle with addiction. It is clear that you've always loved him and been there for him. I hope you can find some peace. xx

Getting 2 days behind you is great, Belle. Now go for that third one and be thankful tomorrow that you don't have to drink! We do have control over this because we can choose not to drink. Like Pav's avatar says, we've had the power all along. We just need to use it.

Lifechange posted a quote in the 3 principles thread about our power to say no:

The presence of urges (or any thoughts for that matter) is not our business--our free will cannot determine what shows up. But the choice to respect or act on those urges is where we do have some say. We have free won't. No matter how loud and powerful your urges are, you (via wisdom and your higher brain) make the behavioral choice. It may not feel like you have a choice at times, especially if you haven't fully seen that you in charge.. but the choice is always possible

I like that idea of 'free won't' as a partner of 'free will'.

I hope you used your won't power at the hairdresser, Nursie. You don't drink! It is a shame that drinking has been so normalized that most people don't even think it is weird to drink at the salon or grocery store.

Happy Thanksgiving, Nesters! I'm grateful to have found all of you and to have made my way out. Take care and don't drink. So gross. NS

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

A recent newsletter post by the Tempest.... I may join the instagram account they reference:

"I'm Bri! I'm on the marketing team here at Tempest. Happy (almost) Thanksgiving!

I really should love Thanksgiving. I enjoy testing out new festive recipes, and it’s the one time of year my mom makes her famous mashed potatoes (which are filled with butter, cream cheese, AND sour cream).

But the thing is, Thanksgiving can be as much about the booze as is it about the turkey. And sometimes, there’s a splash of family drama at the table as well.

I thought with 3 years of sobriety, I would be able to kick the little twinge of anxiety I get on Thanksgiving morning, but I’ve found that’s not always the case. My sobriety, coupled with being an only child to a single mom, can leave me feeling a little alone on Thanksgiving— and holidays in general. Maybe you can relate?

Maybe you're not able to go home this year. Or you don't want to go home. Or you’re going home, but your mom drives you nuts, you have to cook an entire meal sober for the first time, and your daughter’s new boyfriend is a jerk and you can't stand your uncle.

However you're feeling about tomorrow; we see you. Doesn’t matter if you're a) sober b) trying not to drink or c) still drinking but worried about your drinking— the holidays can be tough for all of us.

So what do I do to stay grounded and keep my cool in the kitchen and at the dinner table sans alcohol?

I start the day by moving my body. Whether it’s yoga or a quick run, I find this is a great way to release some of my anxious energy and clear my head.

I've also developed new rituals that have nothing to do with booze. Instead of morning mimosas, my mom and I started a new tradition where we each write down what we’re most grateful for over the past year and share with one another. It’s a really sweet, positive way to start the day and helps give us perspective.

You really can still enjoy yourself over the holidays— or at least make it through without drinking. But we know it’s hard.

That's why a bunch of us at Tempest wanted to give you a little extra support. All day— the team will be taking over Tempest’s Instagram to offer words of encouragement, tips for managing without alcohol, and new traditions that we’ve built to support a sober lifestyle.

If you're not following us on the gram already, follow @jointempest and tune in for our Team Tempest Thanksgiving Takeover. We'll be kicking things off tomorrow at 11am ET.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to admin@jointempest.com.

All of our love and gratitude,
Bri + the Tempest family"

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest! The one thing that has always saved me is to return to the basic principle that I need to stop take care of myself. That is what I intend to do over the next couple days when we have some challenging in-law guests. The plan today: 1. Exercise, short meditation, play with kids, and take the dog on a walk if I need to get away from the chaos. I know how to find that center of me that is calm and ok, and we can all do that. It is a safe place that can always be accessed. I am not thinking of drinking.. just thinking of how I can get away if needed.

A fog came in last night and the temps dropped to single digits, so my world is frosted and sparkly. So glad we have a warm home. Hope everyone can find something to be grateful for today.

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

I made it through the spa appointment.
G and Kensho- the reason it was hard to say no is because with every ounce of my being I wanted that wine in my mouth and down my throat.
I do not remember the cravings being this hard last time.
I feel physical longing for the stupid stuff!
Meanwhile Al tried to kill me many times- did kill my brother- did kill my mother- did kill my uncle- I have quit for two years before and I do not remember cravings being this brutal.
So I made it through the spa day.
But I did not make it through today.
I’m furious at my brain. Last time I used antabuse, maybe that was the ticket. I am not sure, but the flip flopping in my brain is exhausting.
I didn’t get drunk. But who am I kidding. Nobody.
Now I don’t feel like a bad ass at all- I feel like...like a broken ass.
Xoxo im not giving up.

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

A recent newsletter post by the Tempest.... I may join the instagram account they reference:

"I'm Bri! I'm on the marketing team here at Tempest. Happy (almost) Thanksgiving!

I really should love Thanksgiving. I enjoy testing out new festive recipes, and it’s the one time of year my mom makes her famous mashed potatoes (which are filled with butter, cream cheese, AND sour cream).

But the thing is, Thanksgiving can be as much about the booze as is it about the turkey. And sometimes, there’s a splash of family drama at the table as well.

I thought with 3 years of sobriety, I would be able to kick the little twinge of anxiety I get on Thanksgiving morning, but I’ve found that’s not always the case. My sobriety, coupled with being an only child to a single mom, can leave me feeling a little alone on Thanksgiving— and holidays in general. Maybe you can relate?

Maybe you're not able to go home this year. Or you don't want to go home. Or you’re going home, but your mom drives you nuts, you have to cook an entire meal sober for the first time, and your daughter’s new boyfriend is a jerk and you can't stand your uncle.

However you're feeling about tomorrow; we see you. Doesn’t matter if you're a) sober b) trying not to drink or c) still drinking but worried about your drinking— the holidays can be tough for all of us.

So what do I do to stay grounded and keep my cool in the kitchen and at the dinner table sans alcohol?

I start the day by moving my body. Whether it’s yoga or a quick run, I find this is a great way to release some of my anxious energy and clear my head.

I've also developed new rituals that have nothing to do with booze. Instead of morning mimosas, my mom and I started a new tradition where we each write down what we’re most grateful for over the past year and share with one another. It’s a really sweet, positive way to start the day and helps give us perspective.

You really can still enjoy yourself over the holidays— or at least make it through without drinking. But we know it’s hard.

That's why a bunch of us at Tempest wanted to give you a little extra support. All day— the team will be taking over Tempest’s Instagram to offer words of encouragement, tips for managing without alcohol, and new traditions that we’ve built to support a sober lifestyle.

If you're not following us on the gram already, follow @jointempest and tune in for our Team Tempest Thanksgiving Takeover. We'll be kicking things off tomorrow at 11am ET.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to admin@jointempest.com.

All of our love and gratitude,
Bri + the Tempest family"

Thanks for the Resource Kensho.
Have you listened to Addiction Umlimited? I listen to that podcast all the time and she has a Facebook group as well. In fact I have to go check in with there as well and tell them what happened today. Sigh.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Thanksgiving eve Nesters!

Even though no one is coming over for dinner tomorrow I still had to run out to two stores for last minute stuff, haha!
I am grateful to be alive, healthy & striving for a healthy clear-headed future. Had my cholesterol level checked this morning so I can have some turkey & a slice of homemade pumpkin pie tomorrow without any guilt

Great to see so many checking in today. Being mindful of the holidays & having a solid plan in place is a must.
Enjoy your time with family & friends & be true to yourselves!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Thanksgiving Eve! We are heading out early tomorrow. Heading to my niece's, then spending the night at a nearby bed and breakfast. I’m looking forward to it.
We had our dog’s teeth cleaned today and they did 6 extractions. We weren’t expecting that, we are boarding her tomorrow so I am very anxious about that. I wish we had waited to get her teeth cleaned until after Thanksgiving. Ugg!
It is a challenging time of year, but I have proof that staying AF can be done! Do whatever it takes to keep your quit intact. I got tired of saying One Day and finally said Day One!
Stay strong, everyone. I promise, it is worth the effort.
Travel safely if you are on the highways and byways. Don’t drink no matter what and no matter who!
Hugs to all! Byrdie