Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

I've been awol from the nest and for the most part I did pretty good, but I know I need to be here every day. This past week, I was juggling a sick dog, who I had to put in doggy daycare, so that I could go to a training class in the city...which meant dropping off dog and all her stuff, driving to subway, taking the train to city and to a class that wasn't worth the money my boss paid for it. Then rewind to get home and add a trip to the grocery store and/or pet supply store before getting dog home, putting some sort of dinner together and dealing with driving gymnastics teens around.

I did not crack until last night. It was a case of the f*ck its...long hard week and I am coming down with a cold or something. so starting fresh today. Last night I only gulped some wine from a bottle hubs and son used for cooking before pouring the rest out. I need to talk to them and tell them if they are done, pour it out themselves.

I just have not had the time to read or post last week due to the craziness. And now I know the daily reminders and support are important. I often wondered how the people with kids doing day care drops, etc. and then commute to work do it. But for the most part, people with day care age kids are a lot younger than me. I am not half the person I was even 10 years ago.

So onward to another try, another week. I'm not doing badly, but any AL is not good.

Time to read back now. Waves and Cheers to everybody!
I will make it. Each time it gets better and better but I don't want to do this restart over and over.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Belle, I think consistency is key. I get up 10 minutes earlier so I can have a check in here every morning, no matter what else is going on. Now, 6 years in, there are occasionally days I miss, but not many. Sometimes it is just a quick hi, but it is always a reminder of what I am gaining by not drinking that day. I am an analytical person, and I read the statistics on relapse - very high, it seems. I REALLY, REALLY didn't want to relapse, so I also read as much as I could about how to avoid it. One key piece is a sober community. There are others as well. You are definitely on that path - slowing down and throwing out that bottle before it got too bad is a sign. You got this!

I took my own advice and set a boundary last night. We were invited to a party and one of my favorite cousins is in town. We had dinner and were going to head to the party and I just said no. I decided instead to clean up last night and then go to bed. I am so much happier. Some good friends hosted the party and other good friends were there, but it was going to be too much this weekend. I have a bit of FOMO, but am so, so glad I didn't go.

Mr. G! I, too, love reading your joyful posts. Hope the gig was great.

Byrdie - wow, you can quit your job now and become a baker. Although I was thinking about how much you'd HAVE to bake to make a living, and probably it would kill the joy for you. That is an adorable fruit cake. How'd it taste.

Off to avoid the shops again. Another hike with the cousin, and then an annual ladies lunch with OLD friends. Whoot.

Happy SOBER Sunday,
Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Sun everyone! (Thanks Pauly for telling me you missed that,xo)
I have been up for a few hours, drank my coffee and am enjoying this morning. I am so grateful to be sober.

Last night we had a party at my mom’s, my cousins were there and my uncle. My uncle and aunt have been visiting and are going back tomorrow. They have been here 5 nights so far and my uncle has been drunk/tipsy 3 nights. He is SO annoying when he gets drunk and very unpredictable. On Friday he got mad at my cousin for not being ‘hospitable’ enough. It was very uncomfortable. Last night he went on and on about how I should look for a job in the U.S. and how our countries are the same. He was slurring away, it was awful. I am sure he will do the same thing tonight. Ugh

Byrdie, THAT cake! I want some. It looks delish.
Pav, I wish I could opt out of the two parties I have going on today. After this I have a pretty clear schedule so that is good. I am glad you are feeling good about not going.
Belle, I agree with Pav about consistency and having a community. Those are key things in maintaining your sobriety.

Have a great day everyone and don’t drink today, it’s gross.

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Messed up so bad- I also posed on my one year thread about it.
I could have gotten in trouble with the law.
I have no idea how the cops were there, I think someone called them. I was in a black out so I don’t remember.
I do know the cops were kind to me. But I feel awful, defeated, ashamed, and low.
I have no idea who saw me like that. I remember ordering a 4th glass of wine.
I do not remember why cops were called or what I did.
I do have a bruise and sore spot on my head.
I’m crying all day. I need to do more than MWO- maybe I need to go to meetings too.

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=15947]Nursie[/MENTION] - great big hugs to you. I'm so sorry that this happened to you.
But, you can make this your turning point. Take this horrible experience and file it away in your head. Anytime that you even think that a drink sounds good, open this file and remember it. Other than that, please try to put it behind you. You can't change it. Forgive yourself and move on. You need to forgive yourself so you can move on with the healing.
Nursie - I am so very sorry. But, I understand so much. I truly understand. Hang in there. We are here for you. If you feel like meetings would help you, by all means go to meetings. Would therapy help you, then go to therapy. Whatever helps, then do it.
Please hang in there. :hug: :hug:

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks Nora- I was doing so well! And then I just crashed like I had zero sober days behind me.
I feel like Jeckle and Hyde.

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=15947]Nursie[/MENTION] - Yeah - Jeckle and Hyde. Just try to take it easy today. How are things with hubby?

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Things are fine- he feels very bad for me and just wants to know how to help me.
I told him maybe I will go to meetings but he’s worried that they are just more people I will drink with. (Eyeroll)
He wants me to return to taking antabuse which is how I got two years sober last time.
I want to take the antabuse, but I also want to be treated for my alcoholism.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nursie and nesters,

Nursie, many people who drink at our levels are unhappy somewhere inside, or have some sort of frustration/dissatisfaction about where they are, or maybe who they are in life at the moment. This can mean low self respect or poor opinion of ourselves. If this is you, one way to change this is self care, self care, self care. It can be the absolute last thing we want to do because we er.....don't care! I don't know if this applies to you. Just throwing it out there. Daily self care can include whatever we enjoy doing, but in my research over the years in an effort to rebuild my life, i've found 2 core principles that thousands of others over thousands of years use again and again. -

1. Gratitude list. Write one thing per day you're grateful for. Your shoes, family, dog, sun, rain, wind....etc.

2. Breathe/meditation. 5 mindful breaths every morning minimum (keep going for 5-20 mins if u feel like it. You're the boss).

This will take 2 minutes as a minimum every morning. Do more if u like. These 2 simple things daily for 40 days (or for life). Every morning no matter what. Gratitude thinking everyday will train our mind to look for the good stuff around us. We cannot be negative or complaining at the same time.

Try it if you're lost. The power in this is in the daily practice. Be gentle on yourself.

Hola to evabody. Have a beaut week.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Quick check in while i am at work.

Belle, tell your hubs to put the al elsewhere after he has used it. He took the video so he should be respectful of you around al. I hope your fur baby is on the mend.

Nursie, what bought you to having the glass of al? They say a relapse happens before the drink is drunk. This time of year is especially hard to not drink. i sometimes wonder how smart i was giving up on the 1st december but it has worked. I did say if i didnt stop drinking through MWO then i would go to AA. i never wanted to go to AA so i utilised MWO as it should be. i posted and posted like a lunatic that i wanted a drink and how hard it was. for me putting it down was so important, it meant everyone would read it and i just could not let anyone else down and especially myself. You need to find what works for you. For me it was accountability and telling my family so they could support me, it meant me calling any of my children and telling them i wanted to drink and them telling me i did not, it meant watching youtube docos and movies about alcoholism until they came out of my ears and realising that could be me, it meant changing my whole routine so i would not drink, sleeping when i was tired, eating anything i wanted, being gentle on me. It meant shopping when the bottlo's werent open at 7.30am, taking someone with me always so my al voice would not win with buying al, it meant hibernating away from places that served al. Sobriety means rebuilding your life slowly and learning to love yourself again. You are a wonderful woman Nursie, you are loved by those around you, you just need to love yourself.

I went to see my mum this weekend, they are thinking there is something the matter with her lungs but she gets her results back today. she did start on about something so i said i was tired and went to bed. i did buy some fresh cherries and we went shopping before i left. it was a nice weekend. They will be coming for xmas now. its hard to believe its only a week away..

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Weather changing again around here with winter storm warnings for the nest two days, uh oh!!
Had a nice visit from son & grandson this afternoon & they split a ton of wood for us

Nursie, I’m sorry you chose to drink last night. You say you want to be treated, have you given rehab any consideration?
I am quite sure that would have been my next choice if i hadn’t managed on my own & finding MWO. I absolutely knew the reason for my 10 year drinking career - unrelieved depression & killer anxiety. Do you know what is causing you to continue to drink even after knowing the consequences? I think working on finding the root of our behaviors helps us to find the right path out. Maybe the Antabuse would be helpful for now while you work on finding the reasons for the behavior. Hugs to you & never give up!

G, I am so happy that you found your path out

Hello Nora, Narilly & Pav. Happy to see good choices being made. We certainly owe it to ourselves!

Wishing everyone a comfy & safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks Lav- I have thought about rehab. I actually reached out to an outpatient facility tonight.
I don’t know why I go weeks without and then suddenly I decide to drink.
I will start going to AA or The recovery group at the church (I forget what it’s called now).
I also am not giving up. I need and want to be sober. All of this proves that it becomes harder to stop after you go back out. I had 2 years sober and decided to try to moderate again. That lasted a year and here I am fighting myself harder than I ever have to obtain sobriety again.
Xoxo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Quick accountability post, running off to work. Thank you for the birthday wishes!
I've a lot to respond to and will check back this evening.
Big hugs to everyone..xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nursie, it sounds like you are taking some good steps. Rehab might be just what the doctor ordered. You know you want to quit but just need that extra help. I know you can do this. Persistence not perfection.
I really like GMan’s advice.
Write out the last 3 bad drinking episodes and put them in your notes on your phone. When you think you want a drink, go back and read them. They are a good reminder of why you can’t just have one.
xoxo Nursie

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nursie - sorry to hear about your drinking, but I'm proud of you for saying you want to be treated for your problem. Perhaps antabuse would be a good adjunct or interim until you find the right meetings, or rehab program/facility? At least then you know you won't drink and you'll have a clear head for starting to work on whatever deeper issues lie beneath for you. Regardless, glad you came right back here and that you shared what had happened. Sending you the biggest hug :hug:

Byrdie - great looking fruitcake!

Lav - hope the storms aren't too bad for you, but at least you'll have plenty of firewood

Ava - hope things turn out ok for your mom

Belle - right back on the horse, and definitely get anyone else in your household to do their part to help with your quit. How's your pup doing now?

Pav - glad you got two great hiking days in. I'm looking forward to some trail time myself.

Nar - hooray for the return of the unhung! And thanks Pauly for helping revive it!


Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by the nest today. Make this week a great one!