Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning everyone!

Thanks for those words, G, Byrdie and Lav. I am so grateful to be here alone this morning while everyone sleeps. No hangover, no regrets, and grateful for the things I have.

Wags, your kindness and generosity comes off in your posts - in this case they way you write about your brother. No complaint, just a statement of fact. I can get VERY frustrated by my sister, and I need to step back and think about her strengths more... Hope you have a great day with your family.

We're having a large crowd for breakfast/brunch. We have two new significant others in the mix - one is definitely serious and one is brand new. New people always keep us on our best behavior - and so far I like them as I met them last night for after dinner games. Our dinner was with my husband's side of the family whom I love but it is more complicated. Chinese on the menu for tonight, Nar!

Ava, Carl is SO sweet. I love that he has no regard for personal space.

Good luck with all of your family and friend things today - how lucky are we that we're not looking for the next drink?!

xo
Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Merry Christmas, Nesters!
Thinking of all of you and feeling soooo grateful that I don't have to worry or think about alcohol anymore! I've been quite antisocial this holiday season and was a bit lonely last night...so I watched a documentary about the amazing Ruth Bader Ginsburg and felt immediately connected to all women and to people making change! Which is also what we're doing..:happy2: Making change so that we can be better people, better partners, friends to others and ourselves, better parents, better colleagues and employees.. better in the sense that we can't help but be more thoughtful, loving, caring and empathetic when we're caring for ourselves.
I cherish all of you!xx love the photos, Ava.. thank you for sharing..

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Merry Christmas to you all and i hope it is a day filled with happiness.

I survived christmas will the fam and extras, mum was excellent and whilst the drinking degenerated i was able to go and nap and wake up refreshed and then remove myself later on. Funny that it was two of my children who degenerated with al, well not funny at all as i dont tolerate al. they will be getting a chat when i see them. Other than than i met some lovely people, ate a lot and woke up hangover free with my other daughter who yet again slept with me, ha ha. I may even start to enjoy xmas now as long as its not at mine for a few years.

LC, yes the idea of xmas is to not over book and just enjoy it. I wonder how i ever managed to get through the day when i was newly sober on my first xmas but that was so long ago.

Wags, i have a son who i think is on the spectrum and its a challenge with him but we all accept and know what he is like. He was actually very good yesterday and after his complaining about everything involved with xmas he had a lovely day.

today i think i will keep my eyes closed and clean up tomorrow. i have a few items to return but that is it.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Merry Christmas Nesters!

Sounds like everyone had a pretty good day, I did too. Grandsons & their parents just left, everyone happy & full
My DIL’s parents came as well, last minute thing but it was OK because I had tons of food, haha!

I’ve been thinking the past few days how much more peaceful holidays are since I gave AL the boot. Best decision I have ever made, that’s for sure!
Wishing everyone a safe & restful night in the nest.

Lav

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Merry Christmas!!!
We had a wonderful time today with our son & DIL and 17 month old granddaughter. We are so blessed.
I hope that everyone had a wonderful day surrounded with love.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,
I see I have been called out a few times...thank you for thinking about me.

Merry Christmas to all that celebrate. Honestly, I am glad that part is over.

I've been doing ok, but not 100%, but 100% AF is what I need to do now. I felt slighted by the family as nobody gave even a thought of giving me a gift (though son said he ordered stuff for 'everyone' but it has not arrived yet). I feel like I bust my butt and get no credit. Though I am grateful that husband and son are getting into cooking together and made Cornish hens yesterday for dinner. Even though, by the end of the night I was exhausted...every muscle, bone, etc. in my body was done.

My sweet Piper is so getting near the end. She pants, cries and barks sometimes and I do not know what she needs. But then other times she is just fine, though she cannot walk. It is really a tough decision.

I did speak to my husband about keeping wine around the kitchen...and he seemed surprised that I could just not 'ignore' it. I hope he got the message though.

So, just for today, I will not have a drop of AL. I will be grateful for every AF hour that passes. I need to start again somewhere. And why not today?

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Good to see you, Belle. I got a bit down yesterday that my husband didn't put a tad more effort into the whole "Christmas" thing, but then I checked myself and realized I don't have to do all I do. He SHOULD have put more thought into the gift, but I'll forgive him. He has other strengths.

Way to go, LC! Hi, Nora - good to see you swing by.

House cleaning is in order today - if I say that enough maybe it will happen.

xo
Pav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Quiet around the nest.

Belle when i read your post i thought AND THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY as no one else will. I went years breaking my butt to be on the receiving end of nothing, now i dont break my butt and it seems that a lot of people do it now and its a team effort. I am sorry to hear about Piper, there is never a good time to say goodbye and no one knows the right time except for you. I have a 24 year old cat that is now getting to the end of her life and i dont know what to do as i dont want to stress her by taking her to the vets but i dont want her to suffer.

I got a fitbit versa 2 for xmas from the children which was just great and then my phone wasnt compatible so i just had to go out and buy myself another xmas present of a new phone. No guit there, i dont smoke and i dont drink. Yesterday i spent trying to get people out of my house so i could do nothing! I am glad mum did come down and she enjoyed herself, im lucky at 83 she is healthy albiet deaf as a post.

Going for a walk soon before the heat sets in, my new walking shoes seem to be working so fingers crossed i can start walking further, i might even manage a hike one day Pav.

Take care xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy UnHung Boxing Day everyone. I hosted dinner yesterday and it was GoGoGoall day. It’s nice to just chill out today.

It was just 6 years ago when I caved at Christmas time and drank. This prevented me from being part of the Pav, Ava quit. Wow, time has flown by and now I am feeling very strong in my quit.
It just goes to show how the passage of time and working those sober muscles really helps us to stay sober. I am SO grateful to wake up feeling good today along with my family. Everyone drinks less because I don’t drink and there are not unlimited quantities of wine, eggnog and everything else floating around. It makes a difference for everyone not just me.
I am with you Lav, on giving AL the boot.
Ava, it’s amazing how strong you are. That is tough having kids around drinking so much.

Life, I watched that movie and it is excellent. RBG was amazing. You sound great btw.
Hello Nora!

Hey G, I am sure you are raawkin it today, xo.

Belle, glad to see you check in. My hubby went back to work up North a few days ago so wasn’t here on Christmas but not a big deal. We had a great week while he was here last week.

Have a good one and don’t drink today, it’s gross.

Byrdie, I hope you get this week off.

Hello Pauly, xo.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Day after! We had a quiet day, went to the Chinese buffet for lunch, that was tasty. Then for dinner, we went to a neighbor's for our annual meal. This is for neighbors with no where else to go! Ha! This used to be a real booze fest for me, and (I thought) everyone else, since we all walked over, but I really noticed last night that AL wasn't a big part of it. Funny how our perception changes. Misery loves miserable company! We had a very nice time, I came home about 9:30. Today is a work day.

I remember so many Christmases drinking all day long. I'd have to 'pace' myself so I didn't drink too much and pass out before the neighbor dinner. I ALWAYS felt deprived until we got to the party and then I could pour stronger ones and top off with impunity. Those weren't the days. It really is amazing to have genuine peace in my head. Thank goodness I don't have to keep up those desperate charades anymore.

Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Byrdie, I second that genuine peace
Nothing & no one is ever going to take that away from me & I sure as hell won’t give it away, haha!!!
Spent the day clearing out the clutter & putting things away & relaxing just a bit.

Nora, good to see you stopping by!

Belle, if you keep turning back to AL then nothing will change. You & you alone have to make the decision to take that final leap into aN AF life. It’s hard at first but it does get easier, we all promise you
Very sorry to hear about Piper. I’ve lost 2 dogs in the last 10 years or so, it’s rough. When you start showing more respect for yourself I know your family will follow suit. I know this from experience, honestly.

Pav, gifts are what they are I guess. After receiving the hardware store bird feeder for my birthday last week I figured my Christmas gift would be a little more special......not really because it was one of those tents you set up for outdoor craft shows, Lol. We already had one & I definitely did not ask for another, haha!!

Ava, good job on fixing your gift dilemma, nice

Byrdie, keep on enjoying your peace, I am!!!

Wishing everyone a comfy & safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters,
Looks like everyone had a nice Christmas. Peaceful for us too. Like Byrdie said, nice to not have to keep up those charades!
I am just so grateful that I am sober.
I was reading on another site this lady posted that she spent the night in jail because she drank all day and the cops came. She was arrested for domestic violence and resisting arrest. Now she’s afraid her husband is leaving her for good.
I said a prayer for her. I am grateful and humble for everything I have. To wake up sober is so exciting that I open my eyes and say “yes!” Instead of “f@&$” it’s great! It’s totally badass! ��

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - great to see you. Sorry to hear about your pup (and Ava about your almost quarter-century cat!) - as Ava and others have said, there's never a great day to make such a hard decision. The best advice I ever received was "a day too early is always better than a day too late" when it comes to that. Stand strong with your husband on the wine out of the house!

LC - I've seen at least one RBG documentary and loved it - love her! I wonder if it's the same one. Have you seen the feature film inspired by her life (On the Basis of Sex)? It's really good too and tells a lot about her very early contributions. Hugs to you during these holidays and great job keeping strong with your quit.

Lav, Byrdie, Nar - sounds like really nice holidays with friends and family all the way around.

Pav - thanks for your kind words about how I described my brother. I do have a pretty big heart and try to focus on the good in everyone rather than finding things to be upset or bitter about. It's hard when family members are hard though, as I'm sure everyone in the world knows from one family member or another! Glad you had such a great gathering with family and friends (including new SO's in the group). Now do you get another week or so off before you have to go back to work?


So, exactly 5 years ago today I was on a plane to meet a friend in Peru, and then travel on together to backpack through Chile and Argentina (Patagonia). This was Dec 26, 2014. I had originally joined MWO in spring 2014 at the start of my previous quit. I made it through the whole summer before falling off the wagon hard, and then had spent the months of Oct-Dec drinking heavily. I did taper down quite a bit in the week or so before my departure but I was coming off some extremely high levels of consumption and feeling awful. By the time I left for Patagonia I was a lot better but still actually worried about getting through such long flights with no booze (like physical symptoms, hands trembling, feeling "off" due to mild withdrawal). I distinctly remember going to the airport bar in the Houston airport at around 9am after completing the first leg of my flight and getting a beer (maybe two). Fortunately, by the time we met up in Peru I had more al out of my system and meeting up with my dear friend helped get my mind off things. I did drink occasionally in Patagonia but since we were backpacking most of the time my consumption was obviously quite limited.

I wish I could say that I re-started my quit on that trip but I didn't. I came home and picked up about where i left off and it took me about 18 more months (July 2016) to finally hit the point where I feared for my health and my life. That started my final quit (this one). As I reflect back today on where I was 5 years ago I am in awe for multiple reasons. I was headed to one of the most beautiful places on the planet, but was also struggling mightily with the horrific beast that al is. I've come so far since then and am grateful for every inch traveled.

For those struggling to get your quits rolling smoothly, please know we've all been in similar shoes. And now is the best time of all to embrace your quit with full force. You are worth it! At the same time, nobody can do *your* quit but you. Like any journey, it starts with a single step. And then another. And another. Tomorrow is a great day to start (or add to) your quit, but today is always better.

Happy almost end of 2019 everyone. Can't wait for a new al-free decade!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, All:

Nar! That is so true - everyone around here drinks less also. It seems that once I stopped making sure we had it all the time and our glasses were always full, no one really stepped in to fill that role. Don't get me wrong, we have some sturdy drinkers around here, but I do know some people are healthier now. You are essentially in the Pav/Ava quit - just two months difference, right? That's nothing when we're talking six years...

Wags - isn't it funny how memories like that are so strong - very specific times in drinking. That trip is #1 on my bucket list. It isn't for anyone else in my family, so I think I'll have to find a friend and do it without them. I've been saving... I do have most of next week off also - I go back on the 2nd.

Byrdie it is great to have a neighbor you like so much - glad you had sober fun.

Nursie - so sad how alcohol and domestic violence go hand in hand. I know it is the season of both...

Ava - what's the difference between hiking and walking? I would call a lot of what I do walking but it is just on a dirt path. As far as I'm concerned, you're a hiker. I hope those shoes do the trick. I'm glad Christmas was good and your mother behaved...

Belle - So sorry about Piper. I hope you are finding some peace.

Happy SOBER Friday. No tickets to boozeville here...

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone.
Pav, I went to a counsellor a few years ago and she pointed out how many people my ‘non drinking’ effected. She said that was interesting how the people around me drank less and asked me if I realized what an influence I was.
Yeah, eye opening for sure. Us alkies can drag Down the people around us pretty easily. Thank goodness we don’t drink!

Wags, those memories help us not to drink going forward, ugh. I remember being hungover on SO many holidays. I always drank on holidays.

It’s Sunny here today, I am going to go see my mom and then off to yoga with my friend. I used to drink a lot with this friend but now we do different things together. Yoga, coffee, choir, it’s an evolution that is awesome. She never had a problem with drinking so she doesn’t care if we drink or not.

Don’t drink today, it’s gross xo.