Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nursie, that story is really scary. Some terrible things happen to people when they are drinking.

Belle, I second what Lav said. Just stop drinking now. You know what you have to do to kick AL to the ground. Do it!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all. Wags, what a picture you painted for us with your situation 5 years ago. It really is amazing how far can go when we aren't carrying around that sack of stones (AL Addiction). When I travel, I just cringe at the gyrations I used to go through to get my fix. Just awful. I really like your mantra, better too early than too late, that is great advice.
The bottom is as deep as you will tolerate.
It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! I can do anything with this nest beside me! :rara: Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters,

Great to see everyone today
Mildish weather here this week, nicer for the chickens to be out & about.
I think my energy has been restored after all that pre-holiday effort, haha! When you get to granny age there’s only so much energy to go around.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night. In the nest for all!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

How is everyone? Anyone need some ideas to get through the silly season? Throw it out here.

Cruising along here fairly smoothly. No boozing equals a large dose of inner contentment for me. Take it easy this weekend, and take care.

Big waves to evabody.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening G & all Nesters

Where is everyone??

Had another nice day, 56 degrees & sunny - definitely not typical east coast weather.
Made a tasty pot of mushroom barley soup ( I used farro), yum. After all the heavy eating the past few days I figured it was time to lighten things up a bit.

I hope everyone had a good AF day & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Last weekend of 2019 and the nest is pretty quiet. I hope that means everyone is having a great last few days of the calendar year before we ring in the new year AF style. I love the turn of one year into the next - new beginnings etc. Never was stoked about the crazy amounts of al people consume on NYE, and somehow I've managed to avoid most of that even during my heaviest drinking days. Now, with a clear head and sober outlook on life, I use the new year to check my tool box and make sure everything is sharp and ready for action, I set intentions for the coming year (not really resolutions but similar I guess), and I think back on what I've learned from the year that is ending. I'm not a big journal writer but this is one time of year I do like to write things out.

How about you? What do you do, if anything, to help yourself transition positively and smoothly from one year (and in this case one decade) to the next?

Peaceful days and nights in the nest to everyone.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

Pav, i am a concrete hiker though i would like to do hills but maybe at some latter time.

Wags, i am not a fan of going out New Years, i think my son wants to have some friends over but i am saying no, if he wants to party then he can go to someone elses house. I had so many times when i was younger where i blacked out on new years so then i just drank at home and now i dont drink. How are those new slippers going?

Lav, happy to hear your weather is half decent for you. We are in for a heat wave and some more bush fires. Going to be a rough day tomorrow at 41.

Sounding good G, i hope you had a lovely xmas.

I have finally recovered from xmas though my house hasnt, probably as i have been really lazy and done nothing. Carl had his first birthday yesterday and was spoilt rotten. My cat died on his birthday, she was a good age though not sure why she had to die under my bed.

Visiting my cousin on the 2nd January so i am looking forward to that then its back to work. Going to be a busy year but a good one.

take care xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello all,
Just starting my day with some accountability. trying to start a new habit of doing this. I know this week will be a challenge as we will have visitors, but probably means I need it all the more.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters, Ava, sorry about your cat can't believe Carl is 1 already! Wags I'm glad you're excited for the new year, I wish I could muster more excitement but I will work on it, Belle, good to see you checking in, it helps to start the day on a positive step NYE was never a big deal to me even in my heavy drinking days, everything is always sooooo packed anyways, I do see at some local, smalll casinos they have some cover bands playing that sounds like fun but not on NYE and staying up til midnight is torture these days anyway, I'll stay up til my usual east coast time(even though I'm Pacific) watch the New York ball drop them lights out! Wow I'm such a party animal haha, waves to the gang and have a fabulous AF day

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All

Wags, I love your outlook. I love the idea of New Year's as a time to reflect and set intentions. I have one intention which is to cook more healthy meals for all of us. I work too much to do anything elaborate on a weekday, but if I prep ahead I could do a lot better than grilled cheese!

Ava, sorry about your cat. That's hard. I'm glad she had a good, long life. That weather is crazy. Stay cool... You, too, Lav.

Belle - in my experience, if you leave door open even just a bit - "it will be hard because..." then you've essentially given yourself permission to drink. I wonder if you said to yourself, "having visitors is a time when I used to drink. How will I set up this visit to make sure I don't?" Once that option is off the table you will have freedom from making that agonizing decision every time the bottle comes out. The human will power is not very strong - it will fail eventually. Set yourself up for success! I hope the week goes well.

Happy SOBER Sunday, all.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, my strategy was very similar. I started with NO AL and then backed in to how to make that happen. I took the option off the table, no matter what. I had to make it work. Prior to my last and final quit, I didn’t have that mindset. I had ‘safety nets’ and contingency plans. Even that was exhausting. Taking the option off the table was less work than fighting it all the time.

back to the grind tomorrow, yuck. Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

I agree with you all, it was exhausting trying not to drink and then trying not to drink too much. Ugh.
It is much easier to just take it off the table and just say ‘I don’t drink’ because I just don’t. Belle, take Pat’s advice and close that door.

I am having a lazy afternoon here. I’ve been watching The Marvelous Mrs. Masel, my auto correct keeps turning Masel into Masala, haha.
Anyway, I am really enjoying the show.

Yeah Wags, setting intentions sounds good. I am trying to figure that out. Getting a job I like is one of them. Byrdie too bad we couldn’t do something together.
GMan, I know you will be kicking it in the New Year.

Hello Ken xo
Lav, I know you will be enjoying those grandkids this year.

Pauly, I am the same way about staying up late, it is really hard to stay up till midnight these days. I love going to bed early on New Years Eve.

Ava, 41C? Holy crap. I can’t believe how hot it gets there. We are at +1C today which is not too bad, it’s nice and sunny so that is great.. Now the days start to get longer. The shortest day of the year is December 21st where the sun rises at 8:49 am and sets at 4:16 pm. It’s a relief when the days start getting longer.

How are you 3Bow?
Nursie, hope things are good.

Don’t drink today, it’s gross.xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The rain has arrived but it’s still not cold so no big deal I guess.
My younger grandson is here for a few hours, just because :hug:

Wags, like you I love setting intentions but I’m not breaking my neck anymore to make sure things go my way, haha! What frightens me the most is how fast the decades are going now.....geez!

Ava, sorry about your cat but it sounds like it was her time I guess.
Happpy BD to Carl!!!!

Belle, make sure yo have actually written out your plan, it makes a difference. Keep it close & take that giant leap into your new AF life, you’ll have no regrets whatsoever!

Pauly, when the clock strikes at midnight on New Year’s eve I’ll be wishing you a very good night, Lol you party animal!

Pav, Byrdie & narilly, I hope you all have a good week ahead, working on not

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone! Quiet here indeed. Crazy at my house though with family visits and my immediate family home for 2 weeks. I was able to get a massage today that I was gifted in September, so that was a nice departure. Some work this upcoming week, but I should be able to sleep in, which is golden for me!!

Narily, I love the friends who "just don't care". I also have a few that forget - because alcohol just isn't that important to then. They are more acquanitanes - but I like those people.

Love, love the phrase "Better too early than too late!"

Waves to you G. Sounding great!

Sorry about your cat AVA. Nice you didn't have to put her down, naturally feels a little better I suppose?

PAV, have you ever taken a weekend day and prepped meals for the slow cooker or instapot? It's so worth it. Those 8 meals I prepped awhile back saved me one day a week for 8 weeks... it was so nice to have a decent warm meal when I had my hair on fire.

Waves to everyone else. Keep up the work, it's worth it. I used to drink more this time of year because the lack of light and strange schedule made me feel weird, but it didn't make me feel any less weird!! At least now I have my wits about me and am not hungover. Alcohol doesn't help anything!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - so sorry to hear about your cat, although it does sound like she had a good long life. Hooray for Carl's first birthday though - the perfect time to spoil him! My new slippers are pretty fantastic, thanks for asking

Yes to all those who said "take al off the table as an option" and then figure out how to get through whatever (holidays, sad days, celebrations, challenges, etc). For me that was the one thing that made the biggest difference. Instead of "I'll try not to drink..." or "I'm planning to not drink" I got the greatest stability and success when I said "I. Don't. Drink." There was no room to negotiate (because al will always win eventually). I equated it with other things I absolutely don't do. I personally don't smoke or eat meat and nothing could make me do either. I would never pour bleach down my throat even if it became all the rage, nor would I tattoo my face or any number of things that some other people do. And it isn't about judgment for them or for me - these are simply things I am not tempted by and would never compromise on. I HAD to frame al that same way to make my quit absolute, and even thinking about it as being in the same category helped me a lot.

It's easier to make al non-negotiable when alternative strategies are in place. For me, the most effective and enjoyable ones are:

1. Movement/exercise, especially in nature but a good indoor workout will suffice when needed
2. Music - listening to music helps me manage my mood. Sometimes I go for stuff that matches my mood and let's me sing along loudly and get things out of my system, while other times I use happy music to pick me up, gentle music to soothe me, sad songs to help me cry softly, heavy metal to help me rage and purge anger or frustration.
3. Hugs and snuggles with my pup
4. Time with my wife or other close family/friends (includes posting here in the nest)

What are your top alternative strategies that help you keep al off the table?