Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all,
Feel my wings sprouting. My sister in law will be visiting and I think she knows I have an AL problem. So that will keep my doubly on my toes. I'm really not a group drinker anyway. I've always done all my damage alone. And I know that first lips to bottle is all it takes.

Checking in quickly...before work.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I love what all of you have written about deciding you don't drink and working back from there. Think of all the people who never drink alcohol. They have all the celebrations and catastrophes that we do and somehow make it through without drinking. Or, say you knew that you would die immediately if you drank any at all. Obviously, you wouldn't do it - no matter what. The fact is, alcohol is killing most of us who make it to a site like this - figuratively at least and often, literally. I was spiritually near the end when I joined. Addicted drinking took away my ability to care about much of anything, including myself.

We're all worth it. Decide to be a nondrinker and then figure it out. You all can do it. xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Great posts to ring in the new year!

My top strategies:
1. Movement/Exercise (preferably outside! although I think it is my commitment to outside that gets in my way because of the darkness)
2. Being honest about my addiction to my husband, close friends and here. Admitting my problem, setting my ego aside, and getting support.
3. A good book!
4. Gratitude
5. An exit plan from EVERY party with booze involved

I also have "unhealthy" strategies such as eating chocolate and playing games on my phone, but I am working on those... They still beat drinking, though.

Narilly - my intention is for you to get a job, too! That cycle you are in must be SO stressful. I hope it works out quickly for you.

Happy SOBER Monday--

Pav

[julia1970]

i want to start anew

Addicted drinking took away my ability to care about much of anything, including myself.

that is so true!
beautiful to find how you support each other here.

i am very sorry about your cat Ava. i know how hurting it feels to lose an animal.

is it okay if i just break into this conversation? i am new on the forum, and at the moment knee deep in the addiction mud. i am not at all new to addiction or quitting though.

i am happy i came to this forum, as now i see clearly that the thing is to stop all substance abuse, and stop trying to believe that i can manage while having just a little sip or draft or whatever. for me any substance in the end means abuse and it's been going on for too long.

i quit using alcohol 7 years ago using the baclofen treatment. it worked, i didn't care for alcohol anymore.
but after having the switch i tapered down too quickly, i started tapering down after half a year, and with that began drinking 'moderately' again ('moderately' means 2 to 4 glasses on 3 week days when having obligations seeing people for work and on the other days more - often much more - than that). because in this pattern i stayed quite stable, i made myself believe that I could manage without a total quit.

after smoking some pot with a friend two years ago, i relapsed into smoking weed again as well.
i quit smoking (tobacco, everything) about 5 years ago, and have been smoking on and of (when in a bar and drunk that is) since then. i don’t like cigarettes anymore now. i love smoking prerolled joints though. and i live in Holland, you can buy prerolled joints here anywhere (no need to talk about the availability of AL). my pot smoking has increased gradually over the last two years. i'm not even sure if the biggest problem (addiction wise) here is the pot, or the tobacco that comes with the joint.

i have a long history in addiction, but the red thread is alcohol. it’s about time for another life thread.

my strategies (though insufficient at the moment):
• taking long walks with my dog (being outside is great)
• meditating daily (started again today)
• exercize (not enough right now)
• cuddling my dog
• reading a good book (not enough right now, mostly too drunk, stoned or hungover to read)
• contacting my love,my friends (not nearly enough)
• working (does not help, though it keeps in mind that there is more to my life than this shit)
• eating good meals (not nearly enough)
• taking my 30 mg of baclofen in the afternoon instead of before going to sleep (since 3 days, and making me rather sleepy, no effect yet)
• drawing (let’s not start about this)

Julia

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome, Julia. It sounds like you know what you need to do. We're here to support you however we can. Let us know what you need :hug:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Welcome Julia and great you found the nest. Addiction is addiction i say. I had ten years of addiction to al, 40 being addicted to the smokes, ive been addicted to cannabis and everything else also. Its just who i am, an addict. But as we all will say, if i can stop then anyone can. We need to take it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day and accountability is a must as left to our own devices is dangerous in the beginning. You can do this.

good to see you checking in Belle. I found spending time on here and reading the different threads helped knowing that everyone went through what i did. I hope Piper is doing okay also.

Thanks everyone for your kind words about Molly. Carl is a bit sad as she was his friend.

Such a hot day yesterday, 43 celcius but we did have a cool change and a couple of good storms overnight. My sunflowers are not happy though as we had bad winds.

Having a quiet one tonight for New Years Eve, carl and I which suits me fine. I think i will write my achievements of this year and focus on the positives of 2019. I have had so many positives in my life since i stopped drinking and each year there seems to be more. I may have a few regrets but getting rid of al is not one of them.

Ive been watching Intervention on Netflix and boy is that a wake up to why i never want to drink again. by the end i am thinking "you can do this, look at all the people that love you, look at what you are doing to your families and yourself" and its so sad if they relapse and at the end it says they are having a "couple of drinks now". WHAT alcoholic can have a couple of drinks. I think its my way of recharging my sobriety stance for the year to come and a reminder of what my life was like and the damage i was doing.

take care xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome Julia, you have come to the right place.

I tried to moderate for about 30 years and would have epic failures over and over. It took me that long to finally figure out that I could not drink. A lot of us have addictive personalities me included, that is pretty normal. I never smoked pot after I drank for fear I would get addicted to that. You have a lot of good strategies listed. Add us to that list. Check in here everyday, read other threads, the toolbox is very helpful.
Remember there is no such thing as just one drink. You know that

Ava, sorry about your cat. I am sure Carl and you will enjoy New Years Eve together, I am going to check out that Netflix show.

Pav, I love your ‘unhealthy’ strategies. I may partake in some of those myself. Chocolate and Ice Cream here I come! Thank you for the well wishes on the job, you are so sweet.:hug

Don’t drink today, it’s gross xo.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, Julia. Your list does sound solid! I kept hearing everyone say, Make a Plan! I thought that was for other people who weren’t as goal oriented as I was. Well, guess what? I wasn’t able to succeed until I made a Plan. The Tool Box is full of Plan ideas. Not only is a a strategy and road map, it strengthens your commitment. Bottom line? Nothing worked for me until I got a Plan. We are so glad you’re here. Like Available says, if I can do this, I KNOW you can! I started drinking heavily in 1988 and I quit on Jan 20, 2011. It takes a lot of unlearning, but it can be done!

Narilly, it would be awesome to work with you! I am awaiting my big call next week with that customer. Just to make things interesting, I got a notice today that I have to renew all my alarm licenses for 4 states. That’s 15 hours of continuing education I have to do. Ugg. Before I do all that, I’m going to see how that call goes next week. If it goes sideways, I may go ahead and pull the plug.

I cleaned out some closets over the weekend, feels good when you clear out clutter!
Have a great evening,Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see so many folks checking in & feeling strong

Hello & welcome Julia, glad you found us!
It’s true, having a good plan in place will help you find success. Also having a strong commitment to stay the course, no matter what! As others already mentioned, there is no good excuse to drink. It won’t help us, just keeps us in alcohol prison.

Wags, I kind of chuckled thinking I just cannot imagine myself bringing wine (or any AL) into my house, let alone actually consider drinking it, haha! It’s been nearly 11 years since I quit & I don’t know that I could go thru all that again. Around here we still have to go to a state store to buy alcohol, no supermarket stuff here. I made a solemn vow to never step foot in that state store again & I haven’t!!!! So if I just stick with my original plan I think I’ll be OK

Ava, since you will see 2020 before the rest of us I’ll say happy New Year to you & wish you a wonderful year!

I met some old friends for lunch today, no one even considered ordering a drink. I think getting older makes us smarter
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters,
Ava I’m so sorry about your kitty.

Julia- welcome!! Glad you joined us. Like the others, I have realized I cannot moderate at all not ever. It’s just easier to not drink than it is to try so hard to moderate. I have proven over and over and over that it doesn’t work for me. That knowledge doesn’t stop me from wanting to drink sometimes though!

Weirdest thing happened today. Another gift of wine left on the counter at work for me. I left it there because I didn’t want to put it in my bag or my car. For some reason I was feeling weak! So I left it on the counter and forgot about it.
Well, a little while later, I walked by and it was gone! Someone stole my wine! Hahaha thank you God!

Well, I’m heading to bed early tonight. I am so darn tired!
*Sprinkles sober dust over the nest *
Night all!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nursie - that is odd (but great) that someone stole your wine. Thanks for sprinkling sober dust over the nest - can't get too much of that!

Ava - that sounds like a wonderful way to bring in the new year. Start 2020 off right for all of us ok?

G-man - you too on the 2020 start, since you'll see it first as well. Hope you have a rawkin' good NYE!

Byrdie - sounds like a good plan to wait and see how next week's call goes before putting in 15 hours of CE.

Nar & Byrdie - well, when you two do start your new business together at least you know who your first customers will be! I can see all of us nesters in line already, even if it's an online line. That's probably a safe bet no matter what kind of biz it is, so why not dream a little?

Julia - welcome, glad you found the nest. How can we best help support you with your quit?

Pav - love your alternative strategies - we share some of the same ones, although I forgot about the chocolate and ice cream options so thanks for listing those.


Hellos and waves to everyone wrapping up 2019 with a visit to the nest. Leave something crappy behind and seek out something positive and new as a gift to yourself in 2020. Safe New Years Eves to all!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh, Nursie, that is too funny! The joke is on them, tho, let THEIR liver process that crap! Good job of leaving it on the counter! This is an unrelated story, but when I was first in the security business, I was calling on Family Dollar and they SWORE they didn't have a security problem. I met the VP of loss prevention in a store and was showing him pictures of our stuff in my pitch book. It was just a notebook with pictures of anti shoplifting/security devices. We were talking in the front of the store and I left my book on a box while we walked to the back of the store for something and when we came back, my book was gone! Shortly after, he bought systems from me. Ha!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy NYE nesters! Welcome Julia you do sound like you have a great plan started, I always wondered what the heck a "plan" was I thought "just don't drink" now I know that's just not enough! Nursie glad the wine got stolen, jeez wonder who's that desperate haha, sounds like a gift from God or the universe thoByrdie crazy about your book being stolen but at least you got a sale haha! slept like a creep last night, seems like a once a month thing these days, grrr, luckily my night plans are low key, NYE was never a thing for me even when I did drink so I'm ok with just hanging out at home, waves to the gang and wishes for a happy and healthy AF New Year for us all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

A plan is simple, really. What are you going to do when you have a craving? When someone asks why you're not drinking? When something bad/sad/scary happens? When you want to celebrate? Byrdie has a great post about a plan somewhere in the nest. While you're trying to find it, you'll find some other gems as well. You got this, Julia!

Nar - my story is the same. I lacked an off switch for a LONG time. Mostly my drinking was controlled with some very bad and embarrassing nights mixed in. After I had kids my drinking started getting worse over the years. I am SO THANKFUL for the freedom I have found from quitting.

I'm ready for the Nar/Byrdie business. It will be funny, that's for sure.

Pauly - this was never a go out holiday for me, but I used to stay in and drink plenty! I'm not even sure what we'll do tonight - probably a few episodes of the Crown...

Ava and Mr. G - Happy New Year! Pauly, Wags, and I will be bringing up the rear in about 16 hours.

Happy SOBER Wednesday - just another day!

Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!!

New Year's Eve starts early here, around noon with the loud firecrackers and bottle rockets.. Each year I tell myself that I'll retreat to the country side to escape the noise. But as long as my younger daughter and her best friend want to spend it with me, I guess I'll stick around. We're headed to a friend's for some food, a film, some games. The girls want to write a list of what they want to leave behind in 2019 and then burn it. And a list of goals/wishes to save. :love:

I've loved all the positive posts these past days.. the reinforcement of solid plans and taking alcohol completely off the table as an option. I ordered the book, Rational Recovery, and am finding it interesting/helpful in very clearly showing the function of the frontal neocortex part of the brain and that of the midbrain/beast brain. And as all of you with a lot of sober time say, he also says, first stop the drinking, then deal with the rest.. it basically puts quitting completely in our hands, makes it clear that it's our responsibility and it's possible. Has anyone else read it? There are some things I'm not sure I agree with.. but that's often the case, isn't it?

Welcome to Julia! I haven't been the model daily poster that I was a couple of months ago.. but I do think that is one of my most valuable Tools. To come here each day, to connect with the wonderful people, wise words. to state my intention, to talk about problems, etc., etc. I look forward to getting to know you better!
Ava, I'm so sorry to hear about your dear cat.. 24 years old, did you say? That's a nice, long time you had with her.. I'm sure you and Carl had a lovely evening!
Byrdie, I'm sure keeping my fingers and toes crossed for this deal for you! That'd be a great start to 2020!

I wanted to write more but need to get going on quesadilla fillings! I'll be back bright and early and Unhung to wish you all a happy new year tomorrow morning. I'm sure looking forward to beginning a new decade!
love and hugs to Pav, NS, Lav, Gman, Nar, Nursie, Belle, Pauly, Wags, Ava, Byrdie, Julia.. I hope I'm not missing anyone..xx