Newbies Nest

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Nar we are forever talking about the weather in melbourne, it can change in a minute here. yesterday it was 36 degrees and today it is 19. We had some big storms yesterday which was much needed, just hope it gets to the fire affected areas. I decided to take Carl for a walk as he had a new haircut and it was so much cooler and i so needed to get out of my head. well it was still pretty smokey and i did get rained on but it was so nice to just appreciate the rain. i am sure i got a lot of looks as i seemed to be the only silly person out.

Im still not calm, people certainly know if they piss me off, i am more rational though and have found a bit more patience on occasion. I think its an age thing also where your care factor lessens.

Julia you are doing really well, just go with what you are feeling, it will lessen. the trials and tribulations of life still happen sober or drunk, its how we choose to deal with them that counts.

Work is getting really busy again but i am trying to work from home a couple of days a week now. i work in an office with about 10 others, drs and pharmacists and they are always talking about some patient so it gets a bit mad and loud. i seem to get more work done from 5am to 8am when no one is around and at home i can get everything done in a few hours plus a walk, plus housework. I am glad i finally have a job i love and suits me. Would not have happened if i was still a drunk.

Lav, i only have a video of carl at the beach, not sure if i can load on here. funny how we all missed his big jump into the unknown but managed to film me running on the beach (unheard of me running).

take care x

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yeah Ava, its pretty crazy our extremes in weather. That is great that you took Carl for a walk even though it rained. I wish I could have seen you RUN on the beach :happy2:
I am going for a walk myself now, even though its cold we still have to live our lives.

It is -31C here today, I think that is around -22F but it is not cold enough for spit to freeze Before it hits the ground, it freezes as soon as it hits the ground for sure, lol.


Julia, I think quitting drinking is your first step and then the anti depressants. I don't know your situation but maybe trying to do both at the same time is too much. Do what makes sense to you, I am sure you will figure it out.

I cook for my family on and off these days. With hubby gone up north and only one kid living at home I don't have to cook like I used to. I look back and wonder how I did it. Ken you have some good strategies for sure.

Don't drink today everyone, its gross!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Yes, slower reaction times and a calmer me. That has been one of the many unforeseen benefits to quitting drinking. Sorry you're feeling like that, Julia, but I admire your determination to persist. What waits on the other side is SO MUCH BETTER.

Yes, it's true!

One looked at me and asked - how cold IS that (like, what's it like). I said so cold that your spit would freeze before it hits the ground. Am I right?


Pav

Wow. Is that true Narilly?

Hola evabody. How is the week?

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest

It was great to pretty much unplug while on vacation. Of course, that meant a few days of scrambling to catch up with work once I got home.

One thing that happened last week was that because there was only 1 coffee maker in the condo and because my DIL drinks 50/50 caf/decaf coffee, I was kind of stuck drinking that. Turned out to be a great thing!! I slept (a little) better and not once did I wake up with a caffeine-withdrawal headache, which has been my normal for years. I also have lost the nagging stomach aches I used to get in the late morning. I also have found that I've reduced the volume I drink so the caffeine reduction is > 50 percent. I've kept with the program since getting home and am becoming pretty committed. I think the trick is to buy really good, high-end decaf coffee that wasn't ruthlessly processed to get the caffeine out.

I'm really happy that with this drug, I can moderate! Maybe someday I'll let it go entirely but --- I love the taste and ritual of morning coffee and I like a little buzz from it. I was just tired of feeling dependent on it. Getting up and not drinking coffee seemed out of the question. I worry about climate change for many reasons but a future without coffee filled me with dread!

None of this matched getting off alcohol but the experience made me think again about quitting drinking several Januaries ago and I felt so grateful to be free of that demon. Nothing is worse than feeling absolutely controlled by a chemical!

Everything I've given up or reduced over the years has improved my life dramatically (alcohol, gluten, sugar, processed carbs, and now caffeine). It makes me wonder how much of our ill health really is due to the junk we as a society now dump down our throats. Sad to think we're causing ourselves so much misery.

You're doing so well, Julia, and using MWO in a way that should really help you succeed in your goals.

It sounds like all of our regulars posters are doing well, too, which is great to see. xx, NS

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

is this day 14? i guess it is. and day 15 when it comes to weed.

i was mainly snapping in the privacy of my own space well, except for someone who started harrassing me in the street, whose hair almost waved from the verbal blast coming out of my mouth in response. of course it's not really helping with the agression problem in the world by joining the drama, but okay, this was pushing it a bit. i'm entitled to a teeny tiny public snap right now, no? (giggle)

i actually solved the problem with my brother in a really good, constructive, way! i'm a bit proud of myself. i didn't make myself small or big, not being reactive while he was rather manipulative and degrading. he's not a bad person, he just has some big problems he should deal with (which i understand, coming from where we come from) but instead is mainly projecting onto others, preferrably me. old habits... this email drama lasted for 2 days (practicing kind distancing, at least in my emails ) and the storm seems to have ended for now.
and i feel i processed some old shit with all the emotions i went through and my wayof dealing with them. the family problems will still be there, but i don't have to participate in them. which is not easy sometimes (you'll probably hear more of this).

i love being present. it not always easy, but i feel very alive and real.

you are waking up and for me it's just past midnight!

have a beautiful day!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We were blessed with a sunny & mild day, lucky us. Tomorrow will be much colder leading to a snowstorm Saturday, oh well.

Julia, I’m happy to hear you are reaping the benefits of an AF life. It keeps getting better & better too, remember that

NS, I put myself on a 50/50 coffee mix years ago to help with my sleep issues & B/P as well. I do buy a good decaf & after my morning coffee I have decaf coffee or tea the rest of the day. Weird for me but I got used to the change. I agree, less junk food is good for all of us.

Hi there G & Narily!

Ava, I read that the smoke from the fires is likely going to make a full circuit around the world. That’s was NASA’s statement this week, geez. Great that you got the rain, hope it puts an end to fire season for you.
I know I have mellowed out over the years & I’m pretty sure my family appreciates it, haha! I don’t react anymore BUT I do notice a lot more that I probably missed previously. In other words ~ don’t try to BS Lav, Lol.

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all, took a while to catch up!
This @#$&? Job! I am still working on getting that deal. The customer wanted a guarantee about our response time for service so I asked the service director on Monday, told him I needed the info by the next day. Tuesday afternoon, it was getting late so I reached out again, copying my boss Then my boss reached out to him. He said he was in a class and couldn’t respond until today. This morning he wrote back and said he really didn’t have any verbiage for us, told us to consult our service agreement contract. I was Pi$$ed. That cost me two days. Looks like he could have said that on Monday. I am hoping maybe we’ll have the agreement by Friday. This has been like a bad dream.

Julia, once I hit Day 13, I really felt like I could do this! I’m so proud of you. Trust me, family will drive you nuts. About a year ago, I discovered the man who raised me wasn’t my bio dad. My mom had an affair with our family doctor. Me and my sister are a result of that. My two older brothers are not speaking and the second brother isn’t speaking to my sister. Did I mention that brother has 26 cats? I am sympathetic to your situation. All I can say is SAVE YOURSELF! You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to change. I know it’s maddening. You are doing a great job.
Kensho, that was a great article! Thank you for that.
Hugs to all. Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good night everyone.

26 cats? Holy shite Byrdie! That is totally insane. I’m sorry about your job, what a sh.. show.

Talk tomorrow, don’t drink tonight.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Something i often reflect on friend Kensho is that yep indeed - what is harder for me? gittin a bit uncomfortable developing a new sober life, or staying in the chaos full of stress, distress, and attracting more of the same daily? Er.....gittin sober isn't easy, but the alternative old lifestyle is way way harder as it turns out. We just don't like change.

Glad to report at our General meeting yesterday, all committee members here are towing the line and aligned with the company mission statement. I take the benevolent dictator approach, which they seem to respond well to. Gotta keep an eye on em though......

Love the image of Carl and Ava at the beach. Keep raaawkin evabody. x

This,I'm trying to build a better, different life than my old ugly one by making changes to the way I live,I decided to apply for another job and he wants me to start at the weekend, although change is a good thing maybe,now I'm second guessing and wondering if I can take in the extra load,I haven't had anxiety this bad in a long time,I'm scared I'll try to do a haircut at the new place and be so shaky I can't finish,cripes I'm scared shitless

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Pauly - YOU GOT THIS! You are a seasoned pro and you'll do great. Imagine how shaky you'd be if you were hungover! Can you do breathing exercises during a haircut?? Congratulations!

What, Byrdie?? It sounds like people from your company literally sabotage you in trying to make a deal. I would think he could have read that email in a training and given you that information right away. What an a$$. I hope this comes together today. And 26 cats?! I'm surprised the neighbors don't complain. I actually think there's some sort of violation in CA for that many cats...

Glad you got rain, Ava. I LOVE a walk in the rain. Here it rains almost exclusively in the winter so it is generally cold - I love visiting places where it rains in the summer. I hope that helps the fires and the smoke.

My committee was endlessly in session about my exercise, so I went to yoga after work yesterday. I got there and realized I had left my yoga clothes and mat at home. Do I get points for TRYING?? I have possession of them today...

Happy SOBER Thursday,
Pav

[aquamarine]

Re: Newbies Nest

I haven’t been here in a long time. I so desperately want to stop drinking. I drink 1-2 bottles of wine 4 nights a week. Today is day1. I hate myself for being so weak. I’m so exhausted from leading this double life.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I haven’t been here in a long time. I so desperately want to stop drinking. I drink 1-2 bottles of wine 4 nights a week. Today is day1. I hate myself for being so weak. I’m so exhausted from leading this double life.

Welcome back!

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You aren't weak - you're addicted to alcohol.

I also lead a double life. I don't even know how much my husband knew and whatever he did know, he seems to have pushed out of his mind. But the split was killing me and was why I finally joined MWO.

Do you have a plan for today? The toolbox is full of good ideas.

Most of all, take care of yourself like you would if you were helping a child or friend. Don't tell yourself anything you wouldn't say to them. Focus on every little thing that is better because you aren't drinking - and be grateful for it! You deserve to be treated kindly and gently. :hug: NS

[aquamarine]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you NoSugar. I really appreciate your advice. In the past it’s helped me to have a organized structure to my day when I’m not working. That included a lot of working out. I’m going to get back into that.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Don't congratulate me yet, I absolutely don't think I can do it too early into sobriety for these changes

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome back, Aquamarine. The good news is you knew right where to come to get help and make the changes needed to turn this around. I was just reading an artile on FaceBook about how practicing gratitude can literally rewire your brain. It only takes a couple of good, sober days to make you start to feel human again. We are so glad you're back and ready to turn this around! Link to the Tool Box is in my signature line.

Pauly, change is hard. Trust me, I can't believe I am still at this soul sucking job. It is very apparent that nothing is going to change here, so it's up to me to get the heck out. I can't imagine a more capable stylist than you, the world is your oyster! I know you'll make the right decision.

No word from my folks about the deal, so I will continue to wait. Oy. Hugs to all, stay sober no matter what! Byrdie