Newbies Nest

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Pauly you have got this. You are a competent hairdresser with a beautiful personality and the get go. Its ok to be nervous about moving forward and its just great you have taken that step. It is never too early to do anything, except drinking of course.
i remember when i started my new position, wondering if i could do it, how long till i got the arse, how long till someone died as i didnt get them admitted soon enough and you know what, they were just thoughts. No one has died, i am still being the competent me, i just didnt feel confident.

Julia congrats on 2 weeks, keep on here and keep being accountable. We cant pick our family. My mother is satans sister but after 6 years i have learnt how to deal with her without me wanting to drink AT her. We cant change the behaviour of others, only ourselves.

Welcome Aqua, settle into the nest, we all understand and share the same story regarding drinking. I was a 2 bottle of wine a day girl and 7 days a week. I wonder now how i ever functioned.

Its soooooooooo busy at work, so much for a quiet January. I am working from home today, i figured after a 10+ hour day yesterday i need to have a home day working. going to take carl for a walk soon. the weather has cooled down so carl has been feeling the cold after his haircut. The rain has been great but not enough, some places havent seen rain for 3-4 years so its a joy to watch the news and the people running through it.

Pav, i downloaded a yoga app and still yet to look at it. Monday, everything happens on a Monday.

Take care xx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Don't congratulate me yet, I absolutely don't think I can do it too early into sobriety for these changes

I bet you're ready, Pauly. You might be selling your sobriety time short -- in your thread you said you drank on 11 (out of 365!) days last year and the year before, 47 times or something like that. You are pretty much a nondrinker who made a few bad choices over the course of a couple years. And it has been MONTHS since that even happened!

Like our poor Byrdie, you seem pretty dissatisfied with your current job. Life's too short for that so when a chance comes, it is great if you can take it! With your personality, you'll win over your new co-workers and clients in no time. And if there's any glitches, you'll be ok because you don't drink. xx

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

i love all of your replies to Pauly. hugs to you Pauly!

hi aqua, how great that you've found your way back here! congratulations on day 1!
this is my 15th day of sobriety (an 16th day of not being stoned out of my head).
16 days ago i felt thoroughly ashamed and that shame has simply dissappeared along with the alcohol (really!! what an enormous relief!!). same goes for my double life. so focus on keeping sober instead of on shame and guilt.
posting here everyday and taking everything the people here say to heart has been a tremendous support for me. there is so much kindness, support, and wisdom here. i couldn't have managed 15 days without comitting myself to connecting with the people here on a daily basis.
and i won't manage staying sober if i don't stick with this.

Narilly, i hear you about the antidepressants. i'm staying at this dose for now and see how i feel next week. i'm half way tapering down (every 2 weeks 1 drop) and have diminished the dose for the last time on my first day of sobriety, two weeks ago. tapering down of course brings me out of balance for about 1 1/2 weeks, but it's been quite doable (until that last drop. the last two weeks of course were tough in all kinds of ways, but look at me now!). i feel better with every drop that i diminish, more alive and basically happier (crazy as it may sound). tapering down in the end also helps with not drinking, antidepressants make me lose my sense of boundaries.
so why the hell did i take them in the first place? that's a long (and depressing) story. direct reason was an insurmountable sleeping disorder. nothing else helped. but i'm sleeping like a baby now. too short, because of all the energy that still has to settle down and be rechanneled, but nothing that looks like it's going the wrong way (i should say even the opposite).
i'll just take it easy. i'm not in any hurry, i'm aleady on the right track.

day 15 was a great day!! :happy2:

wish you all a lovely day, or night.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Pauly, we all know you are experienced & quite competent in your work. Now we just have to get you to believe in yourself! Remember the old ‘fake it until you make it’? Do that for the first day & I’ll just bet you settle right in your new job. I am proud of you for taking that step in the right direction :hug:

Hello & welcome back aquamarine! You know this is the best place to settle in & get your plan for success together. Stay close to the nest & let us know how you’re doing.

Julia, glad your day was good!

Hello to NS, Byrdie, Ava & everyone!

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[papmom3]

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Hee hee look who’s flying by to say hi! Hey Newbies, Keep the faith. I’ll land over the weekend to reintroduce myself

[Guitarista]

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Well looky there.....It's the maaaaagnificent and Internationally revered Papmom! Hola mi amiga. How are ya? Nice to see u and look forward to catching up.

Welcome back Aqua. Day 1 is a huge statement in self care. gr8 move. How are u doing?

Yo Pauly! You, mi amiga, are a superstarrin' raaawk geeetarin' super cool sober total BADASS! Why badass? Because anyone who gits up time after time after time like you have done to take back their precious life coz they know there is a better life for them, has special super powers, and is a totally, bona fide, hardcore, heavy metal, don't meet em in a dark alley style BADASS. Go git it sister!

Julia, day 15 - :thumbsup:

It's only friday down here, not a ticket to no freakin finger lickin, cotton pickin, high falutin, make believin boozeville. Big waves to y'all.

[Dublin Girl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

Firstly let me apologise for not checking in all week especially after so many of you took time out to give advice to me about last Friday. I’ve had a very difficult week.

Well I took all advice on board about Friday. Long story short I didn’t drink but it was absolute hell. Not the temptation to drink, I actually got through that. I got through everyone being merry and drunk around me. When I found hellish was the sense of finding things to talk about, feeling on edge, boring, shy, nervous, lack of confidence, I could go on. By the way I was with people I love, an comfortable with and have known all my life. I think that made it worse. I feigned an excuse as to why I wasn’t drinking (just said I had too much over Christmas and was attempting “Dry January”), of course that was followed by “sure that was Christmas everyone drinks too much / “have you got news for us” / “ah come on have one or two”) all of which I could handle. Is my failure to tell people I’ve given up alcohol a sign that I’m not ready to admit I am, or is it a fear of failure? I don’t think it’s the first but maybe I’m not ready to say it out loud, but I certainly don’t want people to know I have a drink problem and then if I slip, know that I’ve failed. So I’m just telling everyone I’m off it for the month and then after that I’ll just say “I don’t miss it, I’ll try another week” and so on. Anyway I’m avoiding social situations for the rest of the month, last Friday was something I couldn’t get out of.

The main reason I haven’t been on here is that we got tragic news of the tragic death of a little girl in our community. Our hearts are just broken and go out to her poor parents and little sister. I really haven’t been right after hearing this news, and trying to keep things positive for my children who all knew her. I’ve also been busy helping with fundraising to assist her family and various other things.

Good news is I'm still alcohol free. And I’m determined to not let the bad days with the crap that’s going on in my personal life (just a horrible time at the moment with my husband too), allow me to have a drink.

Im proud of myself getting this far and to top of off I’ve lost 6lbs this week through a combination of healthy eating and exercise. I’ve no doubt lack of wine has played its part too! And I’m determined not to replace alcohol with crap food which I did on all of my pregnancies lol.

Anyway I’m going to read through all of your updates later when I have time but I just wanted to check in.

I’m sorry this post is all about me especially after you’ve all been so welcoming and helpful to me.

I hope it’s going well for you all and that you’re as strong this week as you were last week.

[Pavati]

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Hi, All:

Dublin - I am so sorry about the loss you and your community suffered. So sad, and glad you can be there to help. I could have written that first paragraph - I was so awkward and ashamed when I first quit. There was NO WAY I was going to tell people I had a problem. I stuck with my story - I quit for a bit to see if it would help my depression and then liked it so much I kept going - forever. I still haven't "come clean" to many people. Of course they must know or have some inkling. The awkwardness goes away - really it does. I am more myself now than I have ever been. It took me a while, though. At first I had to WILL myself to jump into conversations, get out on the dance floor, be silly (all of which were made very easy - maybe too easy - with alcohol). Now I have a little extra push and then once I am in I am in. It will get better, I promise.

Pauly - here's the thing. Even if you do fail at least you will have tried. As humans we all fail all of the time. When I first quit I embarked on a two year project that ultimately failed. I learned a ton in the process and found other avenues I didn't know existed, but the original project failed. Even if you don't get this new job, you will have worked on a part of you that you are interested in - what could it look like in a different job? I have a lot of confidence in you, and I believe in you, but it is truly not the end of the world if it doesn't work. That might help you approach it with less anxiety? Rock on, sister.

Welcome back, Aqua. My favorite piece of advice - talk to yourself as you would your own best friend. Be gentle. It took me a LONG time to believe that I wasn't a weak, bad person, but I am getting there. I know how you feel. Really, you were vulnerable to alcohol for any number of reasons, and you're taking steps to get it out of your life. That shows strength. How can we help you?

Way to go, Julia. You sound great. Hi to everyone else. No tickets to Boozeville here, G.

I am really happy it is Friday - and in the US we have a three day weekend to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. It is often a day people take in service to their community - I am going to go help take care of an old state park inn.

Happy SOBER Friday!
Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Friday everyone, I went swimming at 7am this morning. Yeah, so nice to feel good.

Dublin, I am so sorry about this tragedy, and am so glad you did not drink. Way to hang in there.

Good job volunteering today Pav.

Hello Julia And welcome Aqua.

Hey Pauly sometimes change is the best thing. Go for it, I am sure you will be glad you did.

G, you are raawkin.

Don’t drink today everyone, it’s gross.

[julia1970]

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keeping it short, i'm having a romantic evening
day 16 was fine! feeling better on all levels.
more tomorrow, take care dear people!

[Byrdlady]

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Bah! Julia, congrats on ALL fronts!
Dublin, warmest hugs to you. I second what Pav says, I also felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I was anxious and antsy and couldn’t concentrate. In hind sight, , I recognize this as anxiety over not getting my fix. I had been a drinker every single day for 25 yers. Not only was I breaking a habit but an addiction. It gets better! If it stayed as hard as that first week, nobody could get sober. You are doing great.
pauly, in sales, we have a saying....the secret of success is failure. I have to hear a lot of NO’s before I ever hear YES. Michael Jordon missed more baskets than he made. You got this. Good luck, it’s a big decision.
Still no word on my big deal. Just another day in the Twilight Zone.
It’s only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Hugs to all! Byrdie

[Lavande]

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Greetings Nesters,

Well it’s seriously freaking cold here, 25 degrees now, heading down to 21, oh my!!
Apparently this is the set up for a snowfall tomorrow.

Dublin, good to see you but very sorry to hear of the loss of a child. That’s so hard on so many people.
You are doing great with your quit, congrats to you! Please don’t ever feel you have to give people a reason for quitting. It’s really none of their business, you are doing what’s best for you!

Hello to Byrdie, Pav, Julia, Narilly, G & everyone. Hello to PAPMOM!!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Nursie]

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Quick fly by!
33 days today! Sorry I haven’t checked in. Working way too many hours on this project but it is bearing fruit soon. And I’m too darn tired to even think about drinking!
Nice 3 day weekend possibly snow coming, so I’m looking forward to catching up with everybody!
Xoxo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Congrats Nursie, you sound like you’re doing well

No one else posting today? Wow, that’s unusual!!

Crappy weather day here, snow then rain & now ice, yuck. I’m staying inside for sure.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 17. My best friend came to visit me tonight, and i came clean to him about my drug and al abuse.
He knew that i was very heavily addicted until 9 (8?) years ago, when i finally managed to get off al with the baclofen treatment. But he thought i managed well with moderating after tapering down with baclofen. He didn't know that things had become a growing problem again, also because my addiction wasn't as bad as it was before the baclofen (yet) and i pretended there was no problem.
I'm happy he knows now. He responded very sweet.

Dublin, i'm sorry about the girl in your community, how sad. So good of you to stay sober during all that emotion! And also the social thing. Wow. Your doing greatl!!

Past midnight, and exhausted. But content. I hope you all are fine. Very! Fine!