Newbies Nest

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:
Lavittude is - gratitude, confidence, no nonsense, straight-talking, kindness, and fun. The attitude adopted by our Queen Nest Mom - Lavande. I aspire to cultivate it.

aha!! love that!
day 49 off to bed, hopefully without waking up every hour tonight.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I basically ignored the list of things to do today & ended up baking 3 loaves of cinnamon raisin bread & made a pot of mushroom soup, haha!! I do that kind of thing often these days

Julia, I’ll be the first to Congratulate you on 50. Days :yay:

Hello to Pav, Kensho, G, Narilly & I forget who else checked in today. Hello to everyone!!!
Wags, hope you are feeling OK.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all,

Well I fought off the bug and felt better after some sleep :yay: I've just been super busy as we have another big test day this Saturday and then Sunday I fly to visit family and attend the memorial or life celebration for my aunt who passed suddenly around christmas. I'm a little nervous about the gathering. My family members are all pretty big drinkers. One of my cousins owns a vineyard and a winery and I swear she just walks around with a wine glass in her hand at all times (there is literally one in every pic she posts, for example).

So I'm experiencing something I haven't had surface in a long time, and that is the feeling that a person is really square or un-cool if they don't drink. I haven't seen my cousins very much since we were kids, and we weren't in touch very much during the decades I was a hard core drinker (or during the 10 years of sobriety in the middle). I know there will be multiple opportunities to drink, lots of people with lots of "reasons" to drink, this entire weekend. And there's this little voice in my head that wants them to know I'm not a total square, like I can either drink now or at the very least that I used to. I have had thoughts that it would almost be "cooler" to say I don't drink anymore because I used to a lot and can't now because it's a problem. Isn't that kind of weird???

Anyway, just thinking out loud and sharing my mild concerns about the weekend. I'll get things straightened out in my head before I go and I'm sure it'll be fine, but wondered if any of this sounded familiar to others.

Pav - enjoy your detox

Nar - 7am swimming sounds wonderful!

Julia - keep racking up the days! Yes, Lavitude isn't known by that name outside the nest - it's our own special brand

Byrdie - sending you hugs


Happy Thu into Fri everyone!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters, Wags you'll be fine, family is tough tho and all those memories surface for sure, nothing "uncool" about not drinking! I had a chuckle at the cousin with the constant glass in her hand-maybe it's glued on hahaha Julia you're doing great and congratulations on day50? Nothing much going on with me, which is good no news=is good news I think, waves to the gang and have a wonderful day!

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

thanks peopel! 50 days is a nice number huh

i am discovering that quite to the contrary drinking is rather uncool because it's always the same story, so kinda boring. and in the end, everyone who is intoxicated acts the same. to really be there, present at every instance, and to dare to be different than the rest is courageous and special.
drinking equals out difference. people tend to be afraid of difference. most social drinking is about wanting to fit in and sameness. nothing cool about the demand for sameness.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Thursday everyone!

Hey Wags, I think I met your cousin..haha, right Pauly, everyone? We have all see those type of people who walk around with a bottomless glass of whatever. Isn't is amazing how a good sleep can cure almost anything. We all had crap sleeps for so many years when we were drinking.
Now we look all refreshed a beautiful

We are cool because we don't drink, who would have thought! I know that weird feeling though about wanting to fit in.

Lav, I want some mushroom soup, yum.

50 days Julia, way to go!

I am taking my MIL to buy groceries and my mom to chiro and then having a massage this afternoon, I can't wait for that.

Don't drink today.
xo

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

When I was still drinking and wishing I weren't, [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], I used to watch the nondrinkers with envy, thinking how cool they must be not to 'need' to drink. I wanted to magically become them (turns out it took effort and my buddies at MWO to make that happen!).

Now, I kind of enjoy being different and 'un-needy'. It is interesting to watch people absorb "No thanks, I don't drink" and figure out what to do with it. That it makes so many uncomfortable is evidence that there is a problem going on. Whenever someone makes a decision different to yours, especially one that they're not completely comfortable with, it makes them question themselves. I'm now happy to be the catalyst for a little introspection because as one who has been there, I recognize many people who are drinking in an unhealthy way.

I would say whatever feels comfortable. You might initiate some meaningful conversations if you reveal your past and why you quit. Maybe you'll help a relative find his or her way out!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Julia, the half century mark is an incredible accomplishment! :spin:I hope you know how proud we are of your dedication and commitment to finding your own way out. They say when you find yourself in a hole, the first rule is to stop digging. You not only stopped digging, but are now filling in the hole! Keep up the great work.

Wags, I was going to say the very same thing as NoSugar. Nobody drinks with impunity, there is a price to be paid. If your cousin has a drink in her hand constantly, odds are good that she has an issue. I believe where there’s smoke, there’s fire. I try to keep in mind that AL isn’t good for any body in any amount. It effects every cell in our bodies. Like NS, I looked at the non drinkers and wished that I could be one of them. Now that I am one, I do not want to go backwards. I didn’t GET to drink, I HAD to drink. It is natural to long for a time out. You will be absolutely fine. Stay strong and know that, for you, AF is the only option to live with! Be proud of your AF-ness! I certainly am!

I am so glad to be home. The surgery went well, but I got an up close and personal look at addiction. She and my brother both are neck deep in OxyContin issues. They were both in a stupor. It was ALL I COULD DO to get them to her appointments on time. Disoriented, sluggish, and, at times, irrational. She nearly had a melt down over hand lotion! After searching her purse for 20 minutes for it, I pulled out my hand sanitizer and offered it. My brother said, that will dry out her hands worse, so I sold her on the fact that it was alcohol free and resisted germs for a full 24 hours! It was enough of a distraction to take her mind off the lotion. My word, she really should be in an assisted living facility or something. She said many times that she wasn’t addicted. It was sad to see. She is over medicated, even the nurse who did the pre-op was astounded and asked if the same dr was prescribing all of these meds (narcotics). She said that she had 3 doctors, but they were all aware of what she was taking. After her surgery, she begged for additional pain meds. They told her that it would feel like an eyelash in her eye, but she said the pain was intense and she couldn’t tolerate it one minute longer. They gave her something in the IV, it seemed to hush her up. It was a very eye-opening 3 days. Glad to be home.
Cold, wet weather moving in. Brrrrrr!
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Rahulthesweet]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Freinds,

YIPIEEEEE !!!!!!!

Today is my Sober Birthday ... I dont know if this is the right word ... but today I completed 6 YEARS of Sobriety !! WOHOOOOOOO !!!!

About 6.5 years ago I was sitting in a hotel room after gulping 6 bottles of BIG Bottles of high strength BEER .. and work up at 3 AM with a dry throat, loads of guilt and logged on to MWO ...

I came here saw so many posts and people struggling. and THANK GOD that I made an account on MWO and committed by self to read everyday. I got so much here ... I got life ....

I would like to share today is a special day for me. Exactly 6 year ago today I committed myself to change the path of my life to a totally new direction. I decided to embark on a journey which would lead to a personal victory. We all have deamons and bad habits to conquer. We all know about something we know we do is not good for us or makes us less than what we are ... It was today I committed myself to change, re invent my life towards a new path. The path i chose was to change my life style and embrace sobriety as a way of life. For me it was not "giving up" it was not "will power" it was wanted a change for good. Its been 6 years since I have not have any alcohol in any nor have had a smoke. This brought about a significant change in me which I cant describe. My food habits improved, I started eating heather food. Started reading, starting spending time with people whom I really enjoyed and not just because I enjoyed a drink with. I became an early riser. Tremendous health benefits : 4 year about I started cycling. I became an athlete. Did 3 x 21K run (Marathon). Started cycling. As per STRAVA I have ridden 11,103 Kms since last 4 year with longest distance of 178 KM non stop.
As i think of each of these destination I go back in time when i chose the fitness activity over hanging out at *Bar or eating food* hence going back in time.
I have biked in following places (X= number of times):
*USA*: Chicago (2x), New York (6x) ,
*Germany*: Dusseldorf(6x), Colonge(3X), Bonn(3X), Mainz, Krefeld, Koblenz, Berlin, Munich(2X), Hamburg (2X)
*Holland*: Amsterdam(3X)
*Italy*: Milan
*Switzerland*: Zurich(3X), Ruti(3x), Rapperswil(3x), Montreux(3x) Laussane(3x), Nyon(3x), Geneva(3x),
*Croatia*: BOL(2x)
*Denmark*: Copenhagen
*Spain*: Madrid
*Middle East*: Dubai
*Singapore*
*France*: Evian - Len - Bains
*England*: Southampton
*Goa* (5x).
*Delhi* (Cant count !)
*Hiked* almost 10 peaks in Switzerland.
-------------------
*Ran or Swim*:
*Spain*: Madrid, Barcelona
*Americas*: Phoenix, New York, Chicago, Mexico City, Penn State, Las Vegas,
*Switzerland* : Zurich, Rapperswil, Montreux, Laussane, Vevey, Lucerne, Interlaken, Wengen, St Gallen, Zermatt,
*England*: SouthHampton
*Germany*: Colonge, Dusseldorf, Bonn, Munich, Berlin, Hamburg, Aachen,
*India* : Delhi,Amritsar, Ludhiana, Chandigarh, Goa, Banglore, Mumbai, Vadodara,
*Sri Lanka*: Colombo, Negambo
*Singapore*
*Thailand*: Phuket, Samui, Bangkok, Hua Hin
*Malaysia*: Kaula Lampur
*South Korea*: Seoul
*Nigeria* : Lagos
*Middle East*: Dubai, Bahrain, Abu Dhabi
*Italy*: Milan, Genoa, Florence,
*Holland*: Amsterdam,
*Belgium*: Brussels, Antwerp, Leuven
*Taiwan*: Taichung, Tainan
*Korea*: Seoul, Anyang
*Denmark*: Copenhagen
*Croatia*: Spilt, Bol
*Greece*: Athens, Mikanos
---------------------------------
I was on to Cholesterol reduction meds, borderline diabetic, sinus issue, chest congestion all gone !

Embraced Gratitude & started noticing + appreciating small things : Smell, sound, rain drops, blue sky, flowers, beauty (not just pretty women), kids, family, bed time stories!

It was not will power at all but genuine desire to be more .. to get a kick from REAL stuff in life : be it sports, travel, work, family, meeting interesting people and not artificial substances which gives superficial high : food or drinks. I didnt give up anything just opened eyes to SEE so much MORE ! I cant explain it by words but I feel found and super grateful to have you all around and also being able to share.

I late so cant sleep with feeling of joy as I went past each and every place in my mind I have been in last 6 years. The Life as a journey goes on .....

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Fabulous work Rahul!! Congratulations on 6 years!!!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rahul, what an inspiring post! I remember when you first started here, you really have so much to be proud of, what an accomplishment! You just don’t see this every day, here’s your Llama! :llama: your writing is so descriptive, you take us on a journey. Would you consider tucking that In the Tool Box for us? Congratulations, we are just thrilled for you! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

First of all CONGRATS Rahul on 6 years AF :welldone:
You have done such a great job, we are all proud of you!
Stay well & stay in touch too!

Byrdie, wow your extended family has some issues, geez!
Makes one especially grateful to not be involved in any sort of addiction, huh? Good job providing support to them!

Wags, glad you are feeling better.
As family as the family gathering goes, just be your usual strong self. Say No Thanks & move on

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

wow Rahul, what a great post! thank you! and congratulations!

i am touched by your congratulations about reaching 50 days. to me it somehow doesn't seem like much of a thing, though not long ago i couldn't even imagine doing 50 days without drinking or smoking pot... what a shift in perspective... crazy.

Byrdie your post about your family moves me. how strong and kind you are to be able to deal with that and to have emerged from that the way you are.

day 51. slept a bit better, and having a hard time waking u pafter this. i feel like a zombie! which is okay, i have no committments for contact today except for diving into a bathtub with my man tonight.
hurray it's almost weekend. i'm going to do NOTHING serious this weekend.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Friday everyone!

Wow, Rahul, what a great post. I loved it. I too will have 6 years in a few months. Time sure flies, there were a few of us that quit around that time (Ladies with a Mission) and here we are 6 years later. YOU RAAWK RAHUL, I am so happy for you. It is so great to see all the other benefits that came along with sobriety, what a great testament to being sober.

Byrdie, that is so awful. To see addiction up close like that seems unreal. So glad you are not in that rabbit hole.

I went swimming this morning and now off to the market with my daughter. Happy to be Un Hung and be able to do these things before noon.

Don't drink today xo

Julia, 50 days is a lot and 51 days is even better! Keep it up.

[Rahulthesweet]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Julia, I am so Happy for you !! 50 days is HUGE !! Your ROCK !!

With each day you will be stronger and stronger.

Few things stayed with me when I was in MWO. I recal someone mentioned... thike this story of deamon .....
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We addicts will ALWAYS have that Devil/Demon with us all the time. We cannot get rid of it. It will always be there reminding us to have another drink. All we have to make sure that he is tamed. We control him and keep him outside of the house. And not with you. So when you open the window do expect to see this deamon waiting for you and reminding you for a drink. But we cannot run away from it. We have to accept him . He will be around. And rather than running away we habe to weaken him. Make him powerless. Smile back him. Express your gratitude to him. Coz he will always remind you why you are sober. And why you are on recovery. And these thoughts will make him weak and weak.

When we feed the deamon he grows. When we fear him or run away from it then it grows more !! When we caccept him keep him out if house and yet realise him.being around without getting bothered by it will weaken it's willpower and strength. Soon then deamon will as small as a mouse and then as small as an ant. But it will be around ... And be grateful that !

Without the deamon you will not appreciate sobriety. It will bring so much power within you.
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Julia here is another thing I read during my early recovery which stayed with me ....
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When going towards sobriety. Reward yourself everyday. It could be a simple PAT in the back or a hug with yourself or rewarding yourself with someting as small as an Ice cream or a chocolate. I reward myself with a scoop of ice cream every day ! The feeling of gratitude brings about such a positive change ...
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I also read this book called "The Easy way to control Alcohol - Alan Carr" . It helped a lot .