Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Wednesday everyone.

Yes, I agree this site is important. We really need each other!

Still looking for a job here, I am sure something will happen soon. So glad I don't drink. xo

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi dear people. i haven't posted the last days, 'cause i've been sick a lot (sinusitis again) and besides spending some time with my man, i was tired, and could hardly keep my eyes open from the headaches.
it's better again now, and my mood has cleared up as well. it did so even while i was still feeling very sick. i was so relieved that i got back into emotional balance again,like the sky suddenly opens (took a while after the last tapering of the antidipressants) that i was on the verge of a migraine sometimes, and still could feel quite good at the same time :headscratch: nice.
sleeping a little better. hopefully on the right track with this.

things are changing, and this comes with some bouncing against others. now that i'm more present, i'm more in touch with myself, what i want, and don't want, and this changes the dynamics with some people in my life. i feel a lot less pleasing. and so: less pleasant sometimes i guess. exiting, bit insecure (can i do this? am i losing people now?), and i have to trust this will work out in a good way in the end.

and it's finally stopped raining outside as well!! wow... it's sooo good to feel the sun again and hear a sudden multitude of birds singing with exitement over this!

day 63.

Lav, i'm very sorry for your loss. what a shock that must have been..

Edit: i found this forum by googling and then browsing a lot.
by the way: i really wish i'd picked another nickname (i was drunk and stoned). it seems i cannot change it. can i?

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Everything is OK with me, grateful

Julia, glad you are feeling somewhat better now. I’ve had sinusitis a few times years ago & it truly is a miserable experience.
I wouldn’t be too concerned about ‘being nice’ to others right now. You are on a fantastic mission with your 63 AF days. Keep your focus on you, the rest can wait a while!!
Not sure you can change your name but can you start a whole new ID if. You need to do so.

Hello to Narilly & everyone!
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

THERE you are, Julia. Sorry you've been feeling so bad. "now that i'm more present, i'm more in touch with myself, what i want, and don't want, and this changes the dynamics with some people in my life." I think that's what sober folks call boundaries. I have experienced that myself. Fortunately, most of my good friends have stuck around, but there are a few I've had the courage to say no to. Being sober DEFINITELY has put me more in touch with myself.

Good luck with the job search, Nar. So stressful to be constantly looking for work. Good thing you don't drink.

I agree, NS. I can't imagine actually drinking through all of what has gone on in my life and in the world this last year plus. THANK goodness I have my wits about me and can focus on what is really important.

I will have a quiet night off tonight. Phew.

Happy SOBER Thursday,
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Julia. Glad you're feeling better. I absolutely LOVE when the birds start singing too, and we are getting a little of that here. Spring is in the air!

PAV, do you not have your nights off much?

Well, our Whole30 is over. I've never felt better, and my family looks pounds lighter and everyone's skin is glowing. I haven't had a migraine, neuropathy or my other neurological symptoms in about 26 days. This is the bittersweet part though. I struggle to watch everyone return to bad habits almost immediately, including my husband. I am not looking forward to his moodiness, shorter temper, irritability and increased anxiety that is certainly a great deal linked to his diet and alcohol consumption. I SO enjoyed spending time with the fam this past month. I fear things will change. The other problem is that as they allow more unhealthy foods, they inevitably put more and more pressure on me to join them. I know it is not reasonable to eat completely Whole30 all of the time, but I just want to feel good. And it may be time for me to stand up and just do what I know is right for me and tell them to jump in a lake. If they don't want to hang out with me because I'm a pain in restaurants, so be it, I'll eat alone. My only hope is that they gained something lasting from this experience. Both my son and daughter, who were obese by US standards, dropped almost 10 pounds. I hope they start to see the connection between balancing the bad with good to at least not gain it all right back. UG! This is frustrating!!

But I can control me, and what I put in my mouth. So that is what I will do. Sorry to ramble, but that's what's on my mind. Why should I undo the progress I've made??

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all!
A cold, rainy day here.
Kensho, that must be frustrating. I hope that the reward of having lost 10 lbs each will stick with your kids, that’s a big drop! To thine own self be true. That’s all we can do.
An employment attorney is supposed to call me next Thursday 3 to discuss my situation. Looking forward to that. I thought it was today, so another week to agonize.
I got a note from Indeed (a job seekers website) asking if I would take a moment to review my old company....I did, felt good!
Great job, Julia! You are doing Beautifully! Could you imagine having to go back and redo what you just did? NO THANKS! Keep up the great work!
Byrdie

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

dat 64. yes, boundaries. i visited my father on Monday and after 10 minutes, temperature rising, he grunted "you are being cross today" and i thought well, that is good news! and i explained to him how he had been annoying since i had entered his room, speaking badly about everything and everyone. this is the first time i'm speaking up to him since getting back in contact with him 2 years ago. everytime when i saw him, i felt like disappearing and losing my voice. getting drawn into pleasing, soothing, and playing the wise parent. to become angry after leaviing. no more.
we even had a relatively nice concersation after i spoke my mind. he minded me. wow.

i definitely do not see me going back to that Byrdie.. at the (few) moments i do feel some craving i just think about how my life was, the repeating diary notes for instance (i only wrote when drunk or stoned, and it was basically always the same story, for decades - ouch.. to think of that repetition - only lamenting about how badly i wanted to get out of addiction). and feeling ashamed the next day of my hand writing and that stupid lyrical text. tore out quite some pages over the years. wow. i was so ashamed and it basically was shameful.

i'm soooo happy to be almost off of these antidepressants as well... i'm waiting a bit for the next step down in dose, because my body tension is still a bit too high. this is actually what has been keeping me up all night peeing!! too much pelvic floor tension! i came up with that idea while laying awake one night last week, thinking how these muscles are so close to the bladder and might be irritating it (like they also have an effect on my intestines, and lower back), and starting investigating it the next day. it turned out to be very plausible. started doing (new) yoga and breathing excercises. not yet gone, but much beter now.
nice to be learning about my body these last two months.

Kensho, i can imaging how frustrating that must be. i'm happy my man has stopped drinking 10 days after me. he looks and feels (to me and to himself that is ) so much better. and it is great to be on this discovery together. he's not intending to completey quit, but wants to keep as an exception. let's see what happenes when he will drink again. behavioral change can be so hard.

hope you all are well dear people.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Fairly nice day here again, tomorrow rain starts again.
Went & had a bunch of dental work done this morning, ugh. Apparently there’s much bone loss going on in my jaw so a few teeth don’t want to stay put. Getting old definitely ain’t for sissies.

Pav, I am definitely grateful to be fully present as well. I love being able to lend a hand to friends & family on short notice, no worries.

Kensho, do what is best for you :hug:
If the others want to eat in an unhealthy way let it be their choice. They can watch you being happy & feeling well & know that they could be doing the same thing. Your kids have a good example in you that won’t go unnoticed.

Byrdie, I’ll be getting your rain tomorrow, thanks, Lol
My daughter has her resume on Indeed as well although she likes her current job. You just never know, right? Glad you got a chance to get your real feelings out there

Julia, you’re doing great & doing a lot of healing too. I’m happy for you & wish you continued success.

Hello to everyone else & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Kensho - you can only control yourself is SUCH a valuable life lesson, but one that is HARD to take. My husband had a huge medical scare about 5 years ago. It didn't prompt him to make any changes in his diet or exercise - I've been having just to watch as he continues old habits. I talk to him gently about it sometimes, and try to lead by example, but it is frustrating. I don't have things every night but have had a VERY busy three weeks. I was overbooked for work AND fun.

Byrdie - How'd the phone call go?

Julia - my journals from the year or two before I quit are terribly sad. I wrote when I was hungover and the most often used word is fear. I guess I would have used the word shame, too, had I thought about it. Glad you set a boundary with your dad.

Lav, dental work scares me. Getting old is NOT for sissies.

Happy SOBER Friday, everyone! I am happy to see the weekend here and am looking forward to some down time.

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - yep, the only person you can change is yourself. But maybe there's a way to have a "family debrief" about the Whole30 experience just to see what everyone thought, learned, etc? Sometimes when people realize that they aren't the only one thinking something, they embrace it even more. Regardless, kudos to you all for completing the program and I support you in your own desire to stick with at least the basic principles.

Lav - ouch on the dental work. I've got some of that coming up myself and I'm not excited. There is a lot about getting old that sucks, even though some parts are positive too.

Byrdie - darn, another whole week to wait on your lawyer phone call??? Okie dokie then, will keep fingers and feathers crossed for another week!

Julia - good to see you and sorry you've been not feeling well in some ways, although glad to hear you're feeling better in others. Congrats on 63+ or 9weeks +! I don't know of a way to change your user name but you can certainly start a new account and just tell us it's you. A few years ago we had some login issues with MWO and I lost access to my old account (Wagmore) so I started a new one. I liked my name but of course it wouldn't let me pick the same, so I just dropped the 'e' off the end when I made my new one. I can go back and search through my old posts by searching for 'Wagmore' but I still cannot login.

NS - I agree, totally disheartened and exhausted by politics and the poor handling of COVID19 in the US by people who don't believe or trust science. It's scary on numerous levels.

Hellos and waves to Pav, Pauly, Ava, Nar, and everyone else stopping by the nest. Happy Friday-into-Saturday to you all!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, yes, it does suck that I have another week to wait. There was a free legal call in thing today. I did call in and they advised that I work through the EEOC. The issue with that is that I don’t have any of the emails to back up that part of it. If I push the breach of contract angle, I do have that documentation, so we’ll see what the guy says next week.
It’s only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Don’t forget to spring forward tomorrow. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

All the best with the process Byrdy. All i can think of is that it must be a huge relief overall to be out of that bloodsucking circus! How are you doing, aside from waitng around for that legal stuff?

Big waves to evabody. Zooming through. take it easy out there. Ever since i ditched my subscription to boozeville inc. life has become much more peaceful, content, and er......busier as the truth starts to shine through. You can't stop it when you allow yourself to be your best and ahead towards doing what u love.

Just do your best friends.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

A quick check in. We are off to the mountains for the weekend.

Julia I like your name, I feel the same way about mine but now I am used to it.

Have a good one everyone xoxox

Don't drink today.

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

A quick one tonight, I’m at my love’s place, and only have my phone. We just realized (again) how nice it is to be awake and alive together, sober.
Day 65.

PS I like Julia or Jules fine. It’s just that sometimes worry that my name here is too recognizable for colleagues etc. A not so comfortable feeling, because I share intimate stuff here.

Hope you all are well dear people! I think I won’t be posting tomorrow because we are going to a play (Oedipus!)

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Damp & chilly here today, looking forward to a sunny & warmer day Sunday.
I stopped by Walmart today to pick up a few things & I couldn’t help but notice people with carts full of hand sanitizers, paper towels & cleaners & all that. I wonder how much panic shopping can actually cost some people, geez. There’s really no need for this but you just can’t get them to stop. If you’re sick stay home. If you don’t want to get sick, stay out of crowds & wash your hands frequently.

Great to see everyone checking in & reporting on their AF lives
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav