Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Monday greetings Nesters,

Lucky to have such a mild march day here, sunny & 73 degrees, yay!!
We took advantage of the weather & went out & hauled home 300 pounds of chicken feed for my feathered friends. They should be happy now

Alison, glad you dropped in the nest for a while. Get your plan together & start counting up those AF days. We’re all here for you

Hello to Byrdie, Pav, Narilly, Kensho & G & everyone else as well! I’m so happy to see everyone is doing well, we all rock.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all.
So glad that I decided to make this quit public. I know that I will remain sober, but my AL mind is starting to tell me why did I told people that I had quit drinking. I know where the path would go if I kept it silent. It would convience me to drink this one last time and then again and again. I would celebrate some stupid stuff to celebrate over. My AL mind tried to tell me that this summer I can go on walks and go have a couple of beers now and then. I will not be listening to the plan. I may go out and treat myself but AL will not be involved.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Nar - do you hike with snow shoes? I've always wanted to try that. I've seen pictures of Lake Louise - it is on my bucket list. So beautiful.

Kensho - Ah, interesting connection about In Between. [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION], maybe it is time for that post from Turn? It was from her, right?

Alison - In addition to not wanting to disappoint your mom, maybe you can quit for yourself, too? Think about your own health and well-being. I think trying to please others is a large reason we "perfectionists" end up being addicted to something - it is an impossible task. Figure out what you want for YOU and go for it. Your mom's approval will come after - or it won't. But if you do it for you, you won't need it! I'm glad you're back. And yes, ODAAT. Also, sometimes, 15 minutes at a time. Whatever you need.

Happy SOBER Tuesday. Hope you're around LC and Pauly. Hope all is well.
xo
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Because of COVID19, people around the world are in limbo, trying to make what seem like impossible decisions. Uncertainty is so uncomfortable for most of us. We have to wait, and see how things evolve - all completely beyond our control. At least we aren't making things worse by drinking!


Here it is: In-Between - Melody Beattie

In-Between

Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in-between.
One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, and what we don’t want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.
This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.
Being in-between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird-in-hand, when there is nothing in the bush.
Being in-between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.
We may have many feelings going on when we’re in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what’s ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in-between isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we’re standing still, but we’re not.
We’re standing at the in-between place. It’s how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.
We are moving forward, even when we’re in-between.

Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in-between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav and NS, thank you for remembering that piece. That is exactly where I am, In-Between. It is so helpful to put words to these crazy feelings. I’ve said so many times over the last few days and weeks that I feel Adrift....Drifty. And then Drifty appears! I think it’s a sign!
Drifty, we believe in you. Once you make your mind up, there is no stopping you. We are so glad you’re here. All the tools and support you need are here at your fingertips. Let us know how we can help.
hope everyone is having an easy Toozday. Hugs to all!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

I also remember that piece In-Between. We all certainly have been there one way/time or another.
Letting go of the fear of the unknown was big for me. Why was I so fearful to quit for so long? It’s crazy to think about it now but it was very real at the time.

Alison, how’s it going today? Just keep moving forward no matter what & you will meet your goal

Hello to Pav, NS & Byrdie & everyone.

Nothing special happening with me, just tip toeing thru the raindrops today & for the next few days. I have plenty of inside projects to keep me busy.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Nar - do you hike with snow shoes? I've always wanted to try that. I've seen pictures of Lake Louise - it is on my bucket list. So beautiful.

Kensho - Ah, interesting connection about In Between. [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION], maybe it is time for that post from Turn? It was from her, right?

Alison - In addition to not wanting to disappoint your mom, maybe you can quit for yourself, too? Think about your own health and well-being. I think trying to please others is a large reason we "perfectionists" end up being addicted to something - it is an impossible task. Figure out what you want for YOU and go for it. Your mom's approval will come after - or it won't. But if you do it for you, you won't need it! I'm glad you're back. And yes, ODAAT. Also, sometimes, 15 minutes at a time. Whatever you need.

Happy SOBER Tuesday. Hope you're around LC and Pauly. Hope all is well.
xo
Pav

I also want to quit for me. I am tired of all this feeling hungover and don't want to drink again only to drink again 2 weeks later. Tired of trying to hide my hangover at church. I want this for me. My mom was so embarrassed/dissapointed by my recent behaviors. She does not even know what happend a year ago. If she knew that my friend had to give me a bath because I was so wasted that I puked all over myself and even puked while she was doing it and after. I do not remember the puking or most of the bath she would have been furious.

Feeling good. Went shopping and saw the beer stuff and although my AL mind wanted it I knew better. I am not going to drink ever again. As long as I have God and you all I know that I can and will make it. I have done it before and I can do it again. ODAAT.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters, Drifty glad to see you back alcohol sucks, it's all lies! I was sooooo tempted to stop by a gas station on my way home Monday just cuz it was a shit day! Spilled coffee allover myself in the car first thing in the morning and smelled like coffee all day(which isn't that bad- better than beer or sour milk) had the owner come in and talk with the girl who's supposed to be "in charge" to hear him whine about money yet pay her $930 for her shitty management, I didn't know he was giving her that much to do nothing, cut a crazy guy who just got out of prison, had two of my favorite customers being cut by someone else and they didn't even acknowledge me, etc, etc I was feeling hurt, angry, disgusted and really wanted to escape from everything! Coronaviris, taxes, job, responsibility but guess what? It's still all there when I sober up and I'm left looking and feeling like a dumbass so luckily I got ahold of my old stepper crowd and was able to vent and get some soothing and my head in a right spot, I didn't come this far to only come this far and hit that reset button, Byrdie can you find something part time? Maybe something easy like working in a Starbucks, that's my dream haha or a bakery that's my REAL dream I'm sorry for the crap situation but it was time for you to go anyways, it's time for me to leave where I'm at, it has been for a long time but I'm chicken, everyone sounds fab, keep a positive spin on all the yuck stuff and have a wonderful AF day!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Drifty - Glad to see you back in the nest. This is definitely the place to be for your quit. No, you don't want to drink again no matter what that AL voice tries to throw at you. Tuck in tight and keep posting - it's one of the best ways to benefit from the support of the nest.

Nar - Lake Louise is on my bucket list as well. Glad you've been able to enjoy time there.

NS - Thanks for the In-Between piece. That's a keeper for sure and I'm going to tuck that away.


Just a quick check-in for me this morning. I've got an early class, then shopping for my dad, and then.... A Bike Ride!!!! Yay, the weather is finally cooperating to make a ride sound enticing rather than wet and soggy. I swear we got all of California's rain over the past 4-6 weeks. Sorry Pav - I know how badly y'all need it down there, and quite frankly we're tired of rain.

Happy Hump Days & Eves to everyone (or Thu for some nesters!)

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

hey dear all, i'm too tired to think of what to post and then i don't post, so that's why i'm silent. silence feels kinda nice right now.
this is day 70. i'm doing well, but am still sick and just need to rest a lot after work is done.

hi Alison! happy you're joining in! it sure helps me a lot to keep in touch here and not keeping this to myself. i wouldn't have gotten this far if i would have.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing
I think this changeover from winter to spring is kind of hard on all of us. My allergies have amped up although there isn’t a single thing blooming yet. Allergy symptoms & basic lethargy are not fun, oh well.
Whatever we are feeling about current events or personal situations just remember - AL will not fix anything!!! It never has & it never will

Julia, awesome on your 70 days & I hope you start feeling better very soon.

Alison, hope you had a good day!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

I had a good day. No drinking for me. Will be off to church soon and just had my moms birthday dinner. It was supposed to be on Sat. before my friends party but my mom was sick so we had to reschedule to tonight.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

Julia great work on 70 days.

Welcome back Drifty. Can i ask how long you were sober for before you drank again? Being accountable each and every day has gotten a lot of us to where we are now.

Pauly, you are building those sober muscles each and every time. No one is worth drinking at and boy atm i would be pouring the shit down my throat.

We are so busy at work, i have people calling me non stop to ask if its safe to come to hospital, well yes its as safe as everywhere else atm. I think i am ready to scream. I think all the toilet paper hoarders are now lining up to get randomly tested even though they have not travelled nor been near anyone. I had great plans for a quite March/April at work but the bonus is i can work at home. Its tiring, i hear about the virus at work, hear about it at home, hear about it at the shops and on the news and now i dont want to hear about it. I do need some toilet paper though.

Thankfully i can get out for a walk to clear my head.

Time for a nap, take care xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Ava, I think that's one of the things that is so disappointing - seeing humans hoard soap, toilet paper, hand sanitizer. We should be banding together to make sure we ALL can be safe, and instead some crazy lady has 25 hand sanitizers in her cupboard. Personally, I think we'll all be safer if everyone has toilet paper. I guess Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have Coronavirus and they're down there somewhere. Given their symptoms, they wouldn't even have gotten tested yet here because the test isn't available until you're really sick. Sigh. Mostly worried for the old and immuno-compromised in our community. I hope we all get through this without killing each other.

Pauly - Great to see you pop in. Of course you didn't drink because you don't drink. Glad you got in touch with the Steppers BEFORE you drank. Building those muscles one day at a time. Sorry about your job situation. That must stink. Hope you can get out of there someday soon...

Alison and Julia - great to see your progress. Juila, no need to write much. I have found a check in keeps me honest.

Yes, Wags, we need your rain! Lav, spring is early here and it has been a bad allergy season for sure.

Hope you all stay sane. A 20 second hug from someone you love releases oxytocin and helps. Deep breaths in; long, slow breaths out. We got this.

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

A 20 second hug from someone you love releases oxytocin and helps. Deep breaths in; long, slow breaths out. We got this.

I was with some good friends a couple evenings ago who I normally would greet with a hug. Elbow bumps seemed too impersonal so we rubbed butts :egad: