Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Lav and Nesters near and not so far,

Sheesh Lav, what a dream! They're asking for nurses and docs to come out of retirement here too. Well, i reckon you've done your fair share and more of caring service to the community. You're available to those who matter most - your family.

Sun's peeking out of the clouds here now too. Nice after a few days of rain and grey. Above them grey skies are always........blue ones.

Rolling along ok here so far. I've still got a job that looks like continuing for now. I suppose my work in mental health is some kinda essential service. No doubt we're seeing more stress and mental health issues for people, given loss of work/income, businesses closing, social isolating living cooped up with others, anxiety, worry, stress about the unknown and uncertainty. But history shows us nothing is permanent. This will pass eventually. The trick is how do we cope with right here right now? Amongst the chaos and uncertainty, i am also seeing kindness and people helping people. There is hope for humanity yet!

My self care anchor is strong and savvy. I have learnt to see myself coming. Wherever i go, there i am. So there's no running away from myself. lol. I realised early on that i needed me on my team. Me onboard as my best friend - instead of my worst enemy.

Take it easy out there. Big waves to evabody.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

My self care anchor is strong and savvy. I have learnt to see myself coming. Wherever i go, there i am. So there's no running away from myself. lol. I realised early on that i needed me on my team. Me onboard as my best friend - instead of my worst enemy.

You've got it there, Mr G. No one made us drink and certainly no one could force us to quit as many of us have proved over and over. Even when it didn't seem like it, we always had the choice - to start or to stop. We need to do whatever is necessary to put us in a position to make the right decision and it sure sounds like you are doing that. The support of all our sober friends helps enormously and frankly, I (thought I) was unable to stop until I met all of you but in the end, it is up to each of us because we are the only one guaranteed to be with us to the sober end.

I was reading about how people who are used to real-life support are struggling to adapt to online support and finding it lacking. I suppose some have relapsed. We didn't have to cross that barrier, fortunately, but it made me think about what would happen if the internet went down... I would still have some sober friends I could reach by text but... what if cell phones were down? I know this sounds like crazy over-the-top apocalyptic thinking but whoever would have guessed the world would ever be where it is now??? We could all become even more isolated than we are and need to be ready like Mr G said to be our own best friends rather than worst enemies.

We have one more nice, springy day here before the temps goes back to freezing. I'm going to get outside and make some vitamin D (which is important in dealing with respiratory viruses!). Take care, NS

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning from the Pacific NorthWest! It's looking to be a sunny spring day here and I've got the day off until mid-afternoon when I have some prep to do and then a class to teach online. I see a long walk with our pup and then probably some work in the yard and garden.

Kensho - I agree that we nesters are well-practiced at "doing without" some crutches or vices or just things we're used to doing. On top of that, I would add that we're also experienced with reframing things into a positive: instead of feeling deprived of al, we've learned to see the gifts we've gained because we're FREE from al. I find myself using those same skills now and thinking of all the hidden gifts in this isolation experience. One of the best is watching the planet respond positively because we're flying and driving so much less. I saw something yesterday that the Himalayan mountains are visible from farther away than they have been since WWII, which is fascinating and frightening (frightening that we've created so much air pollution they've been badly blocked).

G-man: yes, being our own best friends is kind of at the core of maintaining a successful quit, isn't it? And that certainly is coming in handy now! Glad you still have work, and I would definitely say mental health is essential. Can you do any of your work remotely or are you needed to be hands on at a facility or similar? Either way, continue to stay safe and take care of yourself.

Lav - terrible nightmare you had, but glad you are grounded enough in your own mind to say NO.


Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by the nest today. Stay safe and healthy!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

GMAN, so many nuggets of wisdom in your post! I didn't know you were in the mental health sector - I'll bet you are a favorite there. You are an example of self-responsibility, self-care, realism and fun... I'll bet you help a lot of people! Your posts here are always helpful to me! I Love the statement, "I have learnt to see myself coming." True-dat! Are you still making music?

My kids have traded nights of feeling sad right before bed. They both acknowledge they feel weird and scared. I'm sure this is so big for a little person. I tell them that in life we sometimes have to weather storms - and that it makes the good times better. They have had it good for their entire lives - and I dare say that I've spoiled them because I'm such a hard worker. They are being asked to do more chores, do school in a totally different way and motivate themselves, be away from friends, hear about death and disease on the news and be super cautious in public (if they even go out). The thing I'm trying to tell them is that their "now" could be SO much worse than it is. Somehow through getting sober, I learned to see the bright side of ANY situation - and it is the absolute root of my happiness. It's how I show up for myself. There's always something worse... be thankful that we aren't in THAT.

Speaking of the bright side, I can do double the push-ups, and my time on a 3.5 mile run has improved - I'm getting stronger with the added exercise, and it feels SOOOOOOOO good!

Love to all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Mr. G, you have a way with words. NS highlighted the same passage I was going to. Thanks for your kind, uplifting inspiration.

Wags, all of that sounds good. We did a 30 minute HIIT two day ago and I am still sore. Seems that is what I need. We'll see about inspiration. I have been going to work at work because I have an isolated office and a much better work station, but I have not found the extra time that some people working from home have found. I am having the same time struggle with exercise. I'll keep plugging away - I am in general a very active person, but my upper body is pretty weak since I mostly hike.

I do like to think of myself as pretty optimistic but I am really down in the dumps this week. I am horrified about what happened in Wisconsin with people having to choose between voting and their health. It seems lives were truly sacrificed for the power of a few. I am horrified about New York, Louisiana, Detroit, etc., and about the terrible "leadership" we are experiencing. I'm sad for my son who is a senior in high school and missing out. I'm sad for my mom who is lonely and afraid. I'm sad for my husband who is experiencing anxiety that is getting in the way of his sleep. I'm sad for all of these kids for whom school was a safe place. I actually could go on and on right now, but I'll leave it at that. I know I go in cycles and I won't stay down here forever, but it is hard for me right now. I am VERY glad I don't drink, and grateful for many things. But for now, I'll slink around down here, have a good cry and maybe a nap.

Thanks for letting me vent. Stay strong people. I know we can do this.

Pav

[outofchances]

Re: Newbies Nest

So I had a big long post typed out but it seems I did it in the wrong box or some. Just joined today. I'll never get my old life back - burnt to many bridges. I want to stay away from alcohol and drugs and also change the negative behaviours that go along with that life. I just want to be happy and sober and too stop hurting those I love. I'm apart from my family after my latest binge - and I was on the last of many last chances. It's all gotten very real in the last 48 hours. Nowhere to live, wife and teen kids have had enough. I still have my job. And somewhere to stay for a couple of weeks. I guess I'll be couch surfing for a while I suppose.

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

i worry for the US too Pav. so much at stake and it seems so little support when it comes to the fundamentals of life (maybe my English is a bit crummy here and there,sorry). it's weird to say this about a country that is has been in world leadership for so long.

i love to read all your stories and the caring vibe here.
i like what you wrote as well G.
and about the vegan cheese Lav! wow you can acually make that!?! i'm near veganism. to let go of cheese is just a matter of getting used to it, just like with meat. i don't miss it at all. nothing like quitting al
my upper legs are sore. you sound great Ken!

the moon is so very beautiful here right now. i wish i could show it to you.

warmest things to all of you

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Welcome Outofchances. You will get your life back, it just will be different. I had a brother who was an alcoholic and he pushed us all away and sadly never stopped drinking and died alone. It was his choice to make and he chose al over the ones he loved. We all wanted him to be part of our lives but we could not watch him kill himself with al or lie and deceive us. Funny but i never thought i would be like he was and i did become like him. I saw sense and made the choice to not lose everything and to stop drinking. As hard as it was I am proud to say that i have the life i want, i have my family and i am happy. It is your choice and your decision to change your life and get rid of al, stay on here, get to know us all and be accountable each and every day. These are crazy times we live in at the moment and we dont need to escape in a bottle as it is all there in the morning when we wake. Sending you cyber hugs.

G, happy to hear you are in work and sounding so grounded. I have my days of ups and downs but try to make everything normal with the children, even as adults they have never experienced anything like this before and i need to be the grown up up! As i keep thinking being bought up in the 60's/70's and on a farm has certainly helped me realise that you dont need much to survive in this world except the essentials, that back in the day everyone helped everyone but we were self sufficient also. I do though appreciate technology and the support i can receive when needed and human contact via all of the different apps out there.

Pav, i feel you. Discombobulated is my new word at times. I am trying to get out and walk at least every second day, my mind tells me daily, my motivation gets me out every 2nd day. I am trying to garden every other day oh and then there is work!

My son read a meme out to me yesterday saying "since when did we get to the banana bread stage of the pandemic". Made me think of you Pauly and me posting my creation on your fb post. It was the best laugh i had in ages especially since i never cook but i have managed to get to banana bread stage. I seem to be in the kitchen more and the three of us are certainly communicating a lot, its nice and in some ways i hope the world never goes back to the way it was.

My daughter and i bought some diamond painting kits and we love it. Put plastic dots on a picture with wax and a pen. It takes my mind off life really and more on dots.

winnie the pooh.jpg

best get motivated. Have to go and clean some more of my daughters unit. Take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Pretty good day here, no complaints
Took my doggie for a walk as usual just after dinner & saw two deer peacefully munching grass on the roadside. We made a quick U turn so as not to disturb them.
Tomorrow’s walk will likely be on the treadmill since storms are predicted.

Hello & welcome outofchances, glad you found the nest. This is a safe place so settle in for as long as you like.
Quitting drinking & changing behaviors goes a long way in ‘mending fences’ with your family. Make sure to visit the Tool box for some great ideas on how to put your plan together. Visit the nest a time or two each day for encouragement & we will be glad to help you in any way. You have made the best decision, you’ll have no regrets!

Julia, I was kind of forced to give up all dairy about 20 years ago, my system just doesn’t handle it anymore. Finding ways to make tasty cheese substitutes was a blessing, haha!

Everyone sounds good despite current events. I agree that we are lucky to be so prepared & having experience of living ‘without’!!!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[outofchances]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for the welcome guys.
Available & Lavande - my brother is an alcoholic. A few years back he ended up in the same boat as I am now. I never ever thought I would behave like he did. But I did. He still drinks. I just can't anymore. I might be able to mend things with my kids (both nearly adults), but my marriage is over. Whereas before I would have fought tooth and nail to get her back, I've come to the decision that I think she is better off without me and that hopefully she can now move forward and build herself the happy life she deserves. I've gone too far - I know that. My behaviour isn't that great when I'm not drinking either. As one counsellor put it to me I'm basically behaving like a child most of the time. Right now - well I'm staying in my parents spare room. They are not happy with me. I can't really come out and talk to them because I still got to work and they are over 70. Which is very irresponsible of me, but it was either that or sleep in the car. At least I have work which means distraction cor 12 hours. The negative to that is the raging insomnia I know have. It's 1.26am and I'm up at 7 for work. But I must say, these replies to my post have given me a flicker of hope. All I ever wanted to be was a good person. Maybe now I can be.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all!
I remember when I was about 6 months in to my quit, my quit buddy relapsed. It scared me....A LOT. I felt like I was doomed. Then I looked around me and realized that this did NOT have to happen to me. I was in control, it was I who brought that booze up to my lips. This thinking has helped me a great deal in this pandemic. There ARE things I can do to minimize what happens. It has taken some of the panic and fear out of it for me. I am taking all the precautions I can I think we here in this community are very fortunate to have a special set of skills that will help us through all this. One dat at a time.
I thank my lucky stars that I had the courage to google ‘How to stop drinking’ that night back in January of 2010. I was scared of the future then, too.
I have formed deep and lasting friendships here. I learned how to control my behavior and stop this awful addiction. As Pav always says, the task is simple but not easy. Thank you, nesters, for all of the support and never-ending love and care.
OutofChances, welcome aboard. So many of us have walked in your shoes. There is help and there is hope. You CAN change. We believe in you. Stick close!
Hugs to all, stay safe and healthy. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Hope you're all doing ok. I find something i love to do and make sure i set aside a little time to do it - every day. Even if it's only 5 minutes. Buddha and a few of his mates from around that era told me the trick is in the daily turning up for yourself. Correct fella's.

We need to do whatever is necessary to put us in a position to make the right decision


We have one more nice, springy day here before the temps goes back to freezing. I'm going to get outside and make some vitamin D (which is important in dealing with respiratory viruses!). Take care, NS

Right on. Beautiful autumn/fall day here SB!

Kensho - I agree that we nesters are well-practiced at "doing without" some crutches or vices or just things we're used to doing. On top of that, I would add that we're also experienced with reframing things into a positive: instead of feeling deprived of al, we've learned to see the gifts we've gained because we're FREE from al. I find myself using those same skills now and thinking of all the hidden gifts in this isolation experience. One of the best is watching the planet respond positively because we're flying and driving so much less. I saw something yesterday that the Himalayan mountains are visible from farther away than they have been since WWII, which is fascinating and frightening (frightening that we've created so much air pollution they've been badly blocked).

Can you do any of your work remotely or are you needed to be hands on at a facility or similar? Either way, continue to stay safe and take care of yourself.

Yo Wags s'up. Thanks, you too. No WFHome, it's direct service face to face kind of work - social distancing policy in place. Spot on re the skills we've typically developed as a by product of gittin' sober. This has proven very helpful. Such as an attitude of gratitude. humility. I had to get humble and learn to be grateful in order to ditch the misery and suffering. Reckon i suffer maybe 80% less than i used to. Hope you're all well there.

GMAN, so many nuggets of wisdom in your post! I didn't know you were in the mental health sector - I'll bet you are a favorite there. You are an example of self-responsibility, self-care, realism and fun... I'll bet you help a lot of people! Your posts here are always helpful to me! I Love the statement, "I have learnt to see myself coming." True-dat! Are you still making music?

Yes Ma'am i sure am! Thanks for your kind words legend.

Somehow through getting sober, I learned to see the bright side of ANY situation - and it is the absolute root of my happiness. It's how I show up for myself. There's always something worse... be thankful that we aren't in THAT.

So true. What a blessing to have been an addict!

Speaking of the bright side, I can do double the push-ups, and my time on a 3.5 mile run has improved - I'm getting stronger with the added exercise, and it feels SOOOOOOOO good!

:thumbsup:

Hi, All:

Mr. G, you have a way with words. NS highlighted the same passage I was going to. Thanks for your kind, uplifting inspiration.

You're welcome Pav. Take it easy. You seem to have such a ridiculously big workload. Can you spend less time working with more time for yourself? Hope you get a quality break over easter weekend.

i worry for the US too Pav. so much at stake and it seems so little support when it comes to the fundamentals of life (maybe my English is a bit crummy here and there,sorry).

warmest things to all of you

Warmest things to you too Julia. Your english is great!

G, happy to hear you are in work and sounding so grounded. I have my days of ups and downs but try to make everything normal with the children, even as adults they have never experienced anything like this before and i need to be the grown up!

My daughter and i bought some diamond painting kits and we love it. Put plastic dots on a picture with wax and a pen. It takes my mind off life really and more on dots.

Thanks Ava. Yep, fairly grounded here. Painting with your daughter sounds fun. Take it easy and take care of yourself.

Thanks for the welcome guys.
Available & Lavande - my brother is an alcoholic. A few years back he ended up in the same boat as I am now. I never ever thought I would behave like he did. But I did. He still drinks. I just can't anymore. I might be able to mend things with my kids (both nearly adults), but my marriage is over. Whereas before I would have fought tooth and nail to get her back, I've come to the decision that I think she is better off without me and that hopefully she can now move forward and build herself the happy life she deserves. I've gone too far - I know that. My behaviour isn't that great when I'm not drinking either. As one counsellor put it to me I'm basically behaving like a child most of the time. Right now - well I'm staying in my parents spare room. They are not happy with me. I can't really come out and talk to them because I still got to work and they are over 70. Which is very irresponsible of me, but it was either that or sleep in the car. At least I have work which means distraction cor 12 hours. The negative to that is the raging insomnia I know have. It's 1.26am and I'm up at 7 for work. But I must say, these replies to my post have given me a flicker of hope. All I ever wanted to be was a good person. Maybe now I can be.

Hi Out of chances. Good to see you and welcome. Sorry to hear about your marriage. You're on the right track friend ditching the booze. Just get a sober day done and dusted, then another, and another and after a week you'll likely start to feel better and begin to think a little clearer. How is work? As long as you aren't drinking there, it's a large chunk of the day taken care of as you work on sobriety. Keep us posted and keep it rolling.

I was in control, it was I who brought that booze up to my lips. This thinking has helped me a great deal in this pandemic. There ARE things I can do to minimize what happens. It has taken some of the panic and fear out of it for me. I am taking all the precautions I can I think we here in this community are very fortunate to have a special set of skills that will help us through all this. One day at a time.

Right on Byrdie. We have had to develop special skills. We are like some kinda special forces black ops hard ass, hard core emotional warriors. When you have lived on the dark side, in it, amongst it, smothered, absorbed, fully immersed, submerged, and sometimes you may reach the surface and get a glimmer of light, only to be once again pulled back under by the heavy ball and chain shackled to your ankles back to the ground hog day, never ending ever deepening hole of misery and suffering that was daily existence, you are grateful to come out the other side.
If we learn to thrive, and we can, then there are no limits and the treasure is ours.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Outofchances, welcome. We'll have to get you a more optimistic nickname - You are NOT out of chances. You've made a great decision to get support to quit. You'll have to work your way out of the corner you've painted yourself into, but you can do it. Thankfully you have a place to land and a job. Stay sober and you can only go up from there. There are MANY ideas on this site for staying sober. I recommend reading the toolkit. Take care of yourself and put your sobriety number one - before anything else. Your sustained sobriety is going to get to back in relationship with your friends and family. You got this!

Ava, how does diamond painting compare with knitting in the attention to detail kind of way? What do you do with the finished product? Seems satisfying.

I am not a super fan, but do love John Prine's music. Very sad to lose him. Mr. G, what is your music making these days? On your own?

I had to do some banking for my mom yesterday. Everything is so much harder now, and she's old. I'm glad I could be there for her.

Nar, is your husband home? Does he have to stay totally isolated from you? For how long? I hope all is well up there.

Not much else to say. I'm a bit better today - not in the dumps as much.

Happy SOBER Thursday,
Pav

[Jod]

Re: Newbies Nest

So I had a big long post typed out but it seems I did it in the wrong box or some.

If you lost a long post you may have been timed out. See below;

https://www.mywayout.org/community/first-time-here-read-our-faq-/95062-remember-timeouts-lost-posts.html

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm going with this today:

We are like some kinda special forces black ops hard ass, hard core emotional warriors

. Thanks, Mr G.