Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for all the bolstering, friends. And thankfully I had my husband hide the booze a few weeks ago because yesterday was a hard day for me. I actually looked for the booze a little, but really didn't try hard enough or he hid it well. So instead I grabbed my daughter and said let's go for a ride in my new car. We went to a place called 'athome' and bought a new accent rug for her room. Browsed for a bit because it is a pretty cool store. Came home and hubs had dinner ready and .... whew I made it!

Mr G...as always great advice. Just chip away at things towards an outcome every day. AL is such an imposter. it tells you it will make you feel better, but like G said, it is just a depressant. I guess it is better to cry real tears than be too hungover to cry. (?)

Kensho, that is great that your hubs agreed to counseling. It is really hard for men to do. I hope it is helpful for both of you.

And the people dealing with back to school...idk what is going to happen. My son will be on campus (in single room thankfully) but they have split the semester into two 7.5 week sessions and can only take 2 classes per half semester. This is to minimize the people they are exposed to. And, one of his classes will probably be online anyway. The other one is a CAD lab, so they need special computers for that class. If PA goes 'code red' again, they will all be sent home. It is a big disappointment for daughter being in her senior year and having to do all online for at least the first semester. I will have to keep on her to make sure she is keeping up because she has become the queen of lazy this past 5 months. I'm still working from home. There is a staff in the office and they NEVER wear masks, even when they were huddled around one computer for a class last week. Boss is even buying me a new laptop so I don't have to use my own at home. There are 4 of us who do not want to work in that office and have been doing our jobs, and then some, from home.

Thanks again for all the support. I guess Byrdie is right, when you are in hell...keep going. I just wish I knew where the exit was.

x-post, Pav. Thanks! I needed to hear that.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Y'all. Another morning with coffee, looking out my patio. No birds today though, just a small yapping dog. Must be barking at a squirrel.

Belle, I'm sorry things are feeling so dark for you. It has to be challenging to deal with a big legal issue on top of Covid. G is right though, alcohol will induce deeper depression. I am wondering if an antidepressant might help you right now? We have to be able to find some pleasurable moments, even now, and it sounds like that's not happening much for you. I know you can get through this time! When it gets hard, can you think about how disappointed/terrible you will feel in 2 years if you had drank through this mess, versus how strong and self-empowered you will feel if you don't?

Hi Matt! Good to hear from you! You sound strong! Congrats on 6 hard years (that were probably much less hard than if you were drinking!).

Sounding great G. We spend the afternoon yesterday at a lake, and I was reminded how peaceful water feels to me. I'm so glad you take full advantage of your nearby bay!

Byrdie, skip through the poems... read every few if you feel you need to experience the end. Nice that your friend entrusted you to write a review! I'm sure you can write something helpful and authentic without reading every word.

Wags, love your note about doing something kind for ourselves and someone else. It really helps to give during hard times. And kindness is contagious. Thanks for the reminder! We are all in this Covid mess together. And I said that our nation was unbalanced earlier, but I meant the world. But I find that everything in nature (the what goes up must come down principle) reaches for homeostasis. Nature seeks balance and so nothing stays too extreme for long. Things will get better. We are just supposed to learn something from this experience and apply it to whatever comes next - which I truly believe will be an improvement.

Allright... time to look at my task list for today and set priorities. Happy to be working from home this Monday, so I can move at a little slower pace.

Stay strong everyone. Drinking our lives away is not how it is supposed to be - don't miss out on life and numb it all. Even when it hurts, feel it. It will make the good times ahead that much better!!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Monday everyone.

I used to be hung over on Monday Alot and am very grateful to be feeling Great today. Yay!!!

I am going Kayaking in the mountains with an old friend of mine who happens to be paraplegic. We have been friends since we were teens and used to go drinking Alot together. Mostly that is all we did at the time but now we exercise and go out for coffee/meals etc. it is a much better way to go.
It is my first time Kayaking and it should be fun.
Lucky you G, being so close to the Ocean.

Byrdie, I have a hard time reading books that I don't absoloutely love. Do what Ken says above and kinds skim through if you can

Have a good one everybody! Stay Hard as Matt would say.

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

hey dear people,
i just got back from 2 weeks in the country and wanted to let you know i'm okay. i'm still af, it's been over 7 months now, and i although holidays have brought some temptations (like: how the fuck do you have holdidays without booze?), i never felt a real desire to drink (the answer was simply: just don't drink, to find out there's nothing to miss there except for hangovers).
not drinking on holidays actually gives you rest :eek-new:. when not knowing what to do, instead of opening another bottle, just drawing, or reading, or staring at the sky (and all the big and small animals that were going on at the place we were at). a reset in all kinds of ways.
things are tough sometimes, i'm confronted with myself a lot, but i feel i'm growing. looking back, i have been growing these last 7 months in ways i never could have if i'd have still been drinking (or doing drugs of course). issues like self worth, the tendency to adapt to other peoples wishes (often followed by a backlash) or giving too much thought to what they think about me, boundaries - too loose, too tight.
feeling the urge to get creative again, taking paths that were clouded by lack of energy and interest because of drinking.
i guess i basically feel i have more of a choice in life.

reading back on all of your posts, warm feelings and also impressed.

i read about the hurricanes in the US in the newspapers, so happy that you are all okay. Byrdie, my god, what a scary situation...

we're in a heat wave right now. i almost started drooling when i read this:

Swimming in nice cool refreshing bodies of water is about my favorite thing to do (when it is hot out).

have a nice one!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - that would be a difficult task, writing a review for an old friend when the book turns out to be dark and heavy. Hopefully you can come up with something that speaks about how "genuine" or "true to life" or something that his poems are, plus maybe something about the focus on a particular style or the breadth across diverse poetry styles. I'm sure you'll do a great

Oh dear lord, I finally finished the book. I tell you, this guy’s head is in a dark place. I need to come up with a review I can say that for an old timer, he’s a really good rhymer I was going to say “authentic”. I’m not sure what to say about it. I wish I hadn’t told the guy I would write one. Actually took the book into another room so I can’t see it. It just gives off bad juju!
Happy Monday, nesters! Hope everyone is having a good Monday! Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Good to see u Julia. keep on rolling mi amiga.

Friend Kensho, so true to remember what u mentioned - we are not meant to live life drinking it away in a numb state. No matter the drug. let's look at life realistically......It's true ain't it? We don't know how long we've got. Our experience on the planet is down to our perspective. What's my outlook on my life? What do i want? Where do i want to be, do? When we make the effort to move in a direction of honesty and truth, it's interesting how unseen enrgy moves with us and for us.

It's a real honour and delight being able to throw myself into the sea and be carressed by all its whims and critters, rain hail or shine.

Take it easy out there.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Monday evening greetings Nesters!

Still hot & very humid, heat wave #5 is making a mess of my hair haha!!
I have my younger grandson here for a visit & will be returning him to his owners shortly. He’s 9 so all I have to do is hand him an iPad or laptop (or both) & offer food every few hours. Not like the old days when I had to stay close & keep him out of trouble.

Julia, glad to see you & hear you are doing well. Keep going because it just gets better & better

Byrdie, the last thing I need is a depressing book. I stopped reading Stephen King for that reason. Give your friend a ‘nice’ review & dump the book, Lol

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Julia - great to see you and glad you had a nice trip to the country. Sounds like a wonderful getaway.

Byrdie - well you got better advice from others than from me (don't finish the book!), and we'll all be curious what you did and what you wrote for the review.

Lav - enjoy the easy visit with your grandson

Nar - I look forward to hearing about your kayaking adventure, especially since it's your first time. Hope you have/had a blast!


All is generally well in Wagland. I'm a little tired - haven't been sleeping super well with a lot on my mind. Nothing major or specific - just the state of the world and feeling worn out by the hatred, lies and divisiveness. A few years ago I would have reached for a drink or 5 to help me sleep (pass out) or just to escape from reality for a bit. Now I don't drink, in large part because I know it only makes things worse.

The good news is that I have today completely off. I mistakenly thought I had a major dental appt today and so I cleared my schedule for the whole day. Turns out the appt is next Tue! I decided to gift myself the day off since I'd already cleared it, so we're gonna head out for a long bike ride.


Ok nesters, have great days/nights in your corners of the world and sharpen at least one of your tool kit tools (just for maintenance). Catch you all again tomorrow!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Belle - glad you're a bad looker. A new throw rug is a good idea - not too expensive and a little change of pace. I have a feeling all of these colleges are going to close because these young people can't seem to stay safe. Just look at Major League Baseball. And your daughter is definitely not the queen of lazy - or there are many queens. Teens are really struggling through this - their social outlets are all GONE (or mostly gone), including their main social outlet, school. I am trying to be patient and remember that they are suffering even if it is suffering in relative comfort.

Mr. G - my life's goal is to live near enough to a body of water (preferably the ocean) that I can jump in most days. Aaaah. So cleansing.

Nar - Kayaking sounds like a beautiful day. Have fun!

Well, I survived 6 long-ish zoom meetings yesterday and I met my sister after work for a 3.5 mile hike up some hills - just what the doctor ordered. If I could squeeze in exercise every day I think my outlook would be better overall. As a matter of fact, I know it would. I just equate exercise with outdoors, so I have to figure out how to do something for the winter when it is dark out now that my yoga studio is closed. I know... I could do it at home. It just isn't the same for me...

Happy SOBER Tuesday.
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest

Sounds like we're all doing ok despite personal, national, and world-wide challenges. The only thing I know for sure is that for us in particular, nothing will be gained by drinking. I can get sad and worried enough on my own. I certainly don't need to add an addictive depressant to all of that! I try to hold on to this ideas that Kensho expressed, but sometimes it is tough:

Nature seeks balance and so nothing stays too extreme for long. Things will get better. We are just supposed to learn something from this experience and apply it to whatever comes next - which I truly believe will be an improvement.

Our current problems will pass, but it is hard to witness the destruction that is being left in their wake.

My SIL will be joining us tomorrow for a couple days of vacation. Her response to all that is going on is to have developed a keen interest in everything cocktail-related. I don't care about her drinking (although I am pretty judgy about when/now much she consumes) but I am SO SICK of hearing about the subject. It is so boring, I'm obviously not interested in 'a taste', and she just goes on and on and on. I'm not at risk of drinking, just of telling her to SHUT UP, which would not be very gracious...

Keep hanging in there, Nesters. xx, NS

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nest. No coffee today. My gallbladder has been acting up and coffee makes it worse for some reason. Dr. appointment today for that. I'm SO tired of physical ailments. Let me just move on and live now.

NS, I've been perusing a couple sober facebook sites, and encountered someone yesterday who said she feels so bored not drinking. I remember that! I replied that I find DRINKING boring! Nothing more boring than a drunk! Made me remember how many more hours in a day I have now. I used to wake up and spend some time hungover. Then I would spend some time loathing myself. Then I would eat lunch, but by 2:00, I would start spending time thinking about alcohol and fighting with myself. By 4:00, I would have lost the fight with myself and would spend time planning my next drink(s). At 5:00, I would be getting my drinks, and until 9:00, I was spending time drinking. At 3am, I would spend time tossing in bed because I felt miserable, and I'd get up to take ibuprofen. By 6:30, I would wake up and spend time hungover and begin all over again.

Let me say this: THAT'S A LOT OF DAMN TIME SPENT WITH / FOR / ABOUT ALCOHOL. I think there were maybe 5 hours in a 24 hour day that weren't consumed by it. And it was forefront in my brain, so all the other tasks I was doing were background or autopilot - like parenting, talking to clients, cooking. The difference now, is that the other 19 hours are MINE now. I focus fully on the moment and the task. THAT'S called LIVING. I am SO glad I'm not wasting that time any more!

WAGS, enjoy your unexpected day off with no dental work!

Well, I have birds this am, and the smell of freshly cut alfalfa. It smells like late summer and it is very pleasant. Even though I know that we have some very major problems, I feel peaceful at the moment and that is nice.

Have a great day everyone.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well, Kensho, I spent some of those 5 'free' hours sneakily disposing of empties and acquiring/hiding more. What a time-suck and waste of the precious life we have. I love being free of the shackle of addiction. It controlled everything.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Tuesday everyone.

Kayaking was a blast. It was in the mountains and it was beautiful. We ate our lunches on the kayak and went all over the beautiful, cool lake. Afterwards I bought my friend supper at a nice restaurant in the mountain town close by. We ate outside and it was delish. A great day overall.

I wrote Monday above, geez the days are hard to tell apart these days.

NS, yeah I can see how the subject of cocktails would be super boring, doesn't she know you dont drink?

Ken, there sure was a lot of time wasted on booze and thinking about booze, I am so glad that is over.

Enjoy your day off Wags, so nice to have a bonus day like that.

Keep up the good work Julia.

Hi ya G! and Lav

Have a good one everybody.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Same ugly weather with big changes coming tomorrow in the form of storms & flood warnings, haha such excitement.
I did have an opportunity to visit with my daughter & granddaughter today, it was so nice. Haven’t seen them in many many weeks.

Narilly, your kayaking day sounded like great fun

NS, I was thinking recently that in the years since my quit science has come out with a lot of information on the destructive effects of AL. Maybe you can have an article or two laying around while your SIL is there......just a thought

Kensho, I love having complete control over my life & my time now & wouldn’t want to give that up now. We just don’t drink, no matter what!

Pav, The high school & college level sports programs are on hold now tearing these teens away from even more social contact. I do feel sorry for them.

Wags, hope your unexpected day was awesome!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning. I'm up early today to meet a client in the city. I much prefer slower mornings. Hopefully, with the kids schooling at home, I will be able to sleep a bit later and not rush to get lunches made. It's been 14 years that I've been wanting my mornings to be calmer.

Not much else to say right now. Just glad I'm here and have the opportunity to live another day. Stay strong everyone, you deserve sobriety!