Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, Anyone reading here, please know that if you want to quit YOU CAN DO IT. I tried to moderate for over 30 years and never could then finally after my one thousandth hang over I was able to quit. It took me about 8 years to quit after trying and trying and now I do not drink.
If I did it, You can do it.
All of us on this thread struggled for years before we were able to actually quit. DO IT! What do you have to lose?

So, true, Nar. Most of us thought we were special/different than all the people who had managed to quit. It made such a difference when I finally let go of NoSugar's apparently huge (but actually fragile) ego, revealed the 'real' me to people here, and then followed their advice. After having broken promises to myself for years, I made one that I was determined to keep: I would not drink without posting about it here first and waiting for a reply. Just knowing I 'had' to do that made it easier to dismiss the thought and feeling that I needed to drink in those early days. For anyone perusing a quit drinking forum, there's nothing good to lose and so much life to gain!

Life with new dog and visiting grandsons is busy but fun. I'm so grateful not to be resenting them for interfering with nightly drinking.

Have a good AF weekend, Nesters. NS

[satz123]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION]

Life with new dog and visiting grandsons is busy but fun.

You got a new doggie :hyper:
I'm so happy for you. I know you were upset at losing your last fur friend :heartbeat:

Post a picture ?

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like I have my weekend buddy back again, haha! He’s been fed & now he’s busy with the iPad until bedtime. At his age 9 1/2 I would have been glued to a TV I guess. I think the iPads are better because they are using their little brains to play games.
After a week of cooler weather tomorrow we are expecting 64 degrees so I’m going to try to get my dusty car washed.

Narilly & NS, after years of struggling to ‘control my drinking’ I finally admitted that it would never work for me. Finding MWO gave me the strength & the tools to do what I knew had to be done ~ quit!!
I was so sick & tired of the broken promises I made to myself & was ready for a new plan, better life. I will always feel grateful for this quit, my final quit. Nothing & no one will ever force me back into that hell. It turned out that there was NOTHING to fear & everything to gain

NS, your busy week sounds good & I would love to see your new doggie too!

Hi to satz & everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hooray for Friday but not drinking. I actually have the whole weekend off, which is unusual. Even though we're all still living life under covid (meaning restricted) the holiday next week is still making my work load a bit lighter. I'll gladly take the break!

NS - glad to hear your new pup is settling in.

Pauly - great decision on the job, especially if you like the grocery delivery more!

Nar - fantastic post. I know that some people do manage to moderate their drinking, but I would venture that those people don't have the same drinking problems. I tried to do so myself and could sometimes make it stick for short periods of time, but I always caved when something unusual (good or bad) happened.


Hellos and waves everyone. Hope you all have safe and wonderful weekends!

[walktothewater]

Re: Newbies Nest

Close too 100 days sober but feeling very down again. I am mostly doing the things I should be doing but I don't have a job and have almost given up hope of finding one.

[satz123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Close too 100 days sober but feeling very down again. I am mostly doing the things I should be doing but I don't have a job and have almost given up hope of finding one.

[MENTION=24477]walktothewater[/MENTION] I hope you don't mind me butting in here.
You along with half of Ireland are not working.

I'm not sure what you work at but I've noticed loads of jobs now being advertised.
Folks are getting PUP and it's not worth their while coming off it.

You will get a job - even something to tide you over ?

[walktothewater]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=24477]walktothewater[/MENTION] I hope you don't mind me butting in here.
You along with half of Ireland are not working.

I'm not sure what you work at but I've noticed loads of jobs now being advertised.
Folks are getting PUP and it's not worth their while coming off it.

You will get a job - even something to tide you over ?

I am enduring non-stop bullying from my abusive elderly mother about not having a job. I do not get PUP, just the standard jobseekers.

What do you have in mind, what jobs are available? I pay very little attention to Irish media as I don't believe most of the narrative it fosters and it triggers my anxiety. I have had bad experiences with corruption and am a whistleblower under the Protected Disclosure legislation. I apply for jobs but don't even get interviews. I am either overqualified for some or underqualified for others. I couldn't face working in retail, my social anxiety is already off the charts. In my experience many of the jobs being advertised don't exist, or it is the same job being punted around by 6 different recruitment agencies. I prefer to apply directly to companies rather than recruitment agencies as at least there is some chance of getting a reply but even at that I don't get invited to interview.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Walk, can you ditch your abusive mother at all? At least ditch her in your mind. There is freedom in realizing you can't control other people, just your reaction (internal or external) to them. It is not the same as a mom but I worked with a bully. My mentor told me just to let him speak and then move on. I did it and WOW - he was defanged because he wasn't getting the reaction he was craving. And not absorbing his negativity was VERY good for me, also.

I think that Nar and I have very similar stories. Big, "fun" drinkers from a fairly early age. It never occurred to me that I would "have" to quit drinking. My motto was - I have to learn to moderate more so I don't have to quit entirely! Well, that didn't work. If I can quit, you can, too. Promise. It was moving my fear aside, accepting the fact that I couldn't drink and my friends wouldn't abandon me, and following the lead of those who had done this before me. Yahoo.

Enjoy your light week, Wags. Enjoy your boarder, Lav. How's the ear, Byrdie? How's everyone else?

My sister who is one of the three families in my pod has to quarantine. She is a teacher and one of her students tested positive. They have so many precautions that it is very unlikely she will get it in that way, but no outside/socially distanced turkey for us. Bummer, but as I read on social media, better a zoom Thanksgiving than and ICU Christmas.

Stay safe,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Everything just fine here. I had a new mattress delivered this afternoon so I hope my aching back is happier in the morning. Getting older can be painful at times.
Grandson is so quiet I hardly know he’s here, haha but he continues to empty the fridge,

Wags, hope you have a restful weekend.

Walktothewater, I’m wondering if there’s any social services you could get for your Mom. It’s just not normal to be mean & nasty all the time. You’re doing great in your quit with almost 100 days!! Please don’t let her interfere. Look into getting her some help (psych or medication). Hang in there, the jobs will be coming back, they have to.

Satz, hello to you!

Pav, I only have my son & his family coming over & I see them all the time. My DIL’s recently widowed Dad will be here as well but I know he’s been safe. Wish we could do more but we will have to wait this thing out.

Hello to everyone & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

Steady, how are you going?

G, i have found that i am happy with myself for company. A male would be nice but maybe i have had enough men to last me a lifetime. I do know i dont need a male to complete me, i am good enough as it is.

Walk, just tell your mother to show some respect and turn around and walk away. I went to visit my mum this weekend and it was lovely, the negatives i just blocked out and bit my tongue. It has taken me years to get to this but i wont let her bully me or make me feel guilty and i wont give in when she plays the victim. she has learnt the rules that i live by but it has taken awhile. treat them like you would a small child as that is how they act. Great work on 100 days and NO ONE is worth drinking at or ANYTHING.

Pauly, i am glad you are doing something that is making you happy. I told my boss at the moment i would prefer to pack shelves than deal with hospital patients and the beaurocracy of the hospital. I would have too much to lose though if i left now. A government job does have its benefits.

I went to see mum and my son on the weekend and it was lovely, its been 7 months since i last saw them so lots of hugs and kisses. mum and i went shopping and had lunch. did not really see my son as i took his friend with me but that was ok. the next door neighbours were blaring music at 2.30am and drinking. the woman was yelling at her partner abusing him and i can honestly say i am totally grateful i dont drink. i so wanted to get up and tell them to shut the f**k up but why bother, drunks dont listen, they are always right. mum turns 84 in 2 weeks so will try and get down then to see her.

When i got home my daughter told me her best friend had been beaten up by her bf who was on a bad trip and is in hospital. She is a lovely girl and so sad to hear, we are unsure what hospital she is in but she is safe. I would say she will come and stay with us now.

My car played up on the way home so mechanic coming to look at it tomorrow. he is a friend of my next door neighbour and is fantastic and so reasonbable in his price. im going the fuel pump but as i am not a mechanic!

Nar, have you heard about the job?

The best news is that as of midnight tonight we dont have to wear masks in public unless we go to crowded places. It felt like xmas when i heard that. Zero cases in 3 weeks or thereabouts to heres to getting back to some normality.

take care xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Not much to add today as I'll call yesterday a wasted day. I read, scrolled, watched TV and did little else. I was trying to rest but after all it seems I need more to do during the day - I was totally stir crazy by the end of the day.

Ava, glad you got to see your mom and good for you for setting boundaries. So sorry for that young woman who was hurt. How nice that you can provide a safe, loving place for her to land.

It is unconceivable to me that you've had zero cases for three weeks. We are obviously going the opposite direction here. And people are just not doing what they need to do. I have a friend whose whole family, mom, aunts, uncles, cousins, quarantined themselves for 14 days - grocery delivery, etc - so they could spend a week together last week (they are all working from home or took a week off). On about day 3 it came out that one of the uncles had gotten an invitation to play golf and had done so!! Everyone was so mad, but that's how it goes. You never know what another person has done or is motivated to do.

Happy SOBER Sunday. I will be getting out and about today!

Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Typical fall weather here today, mostly clouds & chilly temps. My grandson has gone home so I will likely have to restock the kitchen tomorrow, Lol

Ava, glad to hear you got to see your Mom after all this time & your son as well.
Very sorry to hear about your daughter’s friend though. Drug use can hurt so many people besides the user.
We are jealous over here hearing your Covid news. People must have behaved & followed the guidelines issued by the government. Too many people are not doing that here. Why folks refuse to take this virus seriously is beyond me.

Pav, relaxing can be hard to do when you’re used to being in constant motion, I get that.
Sorry to hear your friend’s uncle selfishly screwed up the Thanksgiving plans. I hope they don’t let him forget that anytime soon.

I delivered an embroidery order this afternoon & have more to get to work on. I’m happy that I can help people get Christmas gifts for folks on their list at a reasonable price.
Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Monday everyone. I was woken up early this morning by construction across the street, good thing I was not hungover because that would have been terrible. I would have just kept my puffy eyes shut and would keep sleeping.

Ava, you are so nice to help your daughter's friend. I haven't heard about the job but my 'oil experience' sometimes scares people away.

Hi ya Byrdie, hope you are well and staying away from your mean spirited neighbours.

Pav, I agree with Lav that relaxing is tough to do when you are in constant motion.

NS, I would love to see your new dog. I bet she/he is cute.

Hello Walk, Satz, glad to see you here. I have been unemployed for a year now...I understand the struggle even though we are in different countries.

Don't drink today. It's gross- right Pauly?

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Walk, congrats on your 100 days! It was at that point that I felt as if I had a handle on being AF. It’s just a matter of maintenance! I’m so proud of you. I left my job in a huff at the end of a January. I had a customer call me today with a question and I was able to help him. He told me if I get back into the business to let him know, that made me feel good. I found networking to be the way I found my last job. Heck, it’s hard to get past any gatekeeper these days with just a resume, reaching out to people who are doing what you want to do was the only way I was able to find a job, I was amazed at how transparent I was on paper, but knowing someone made all the difference. As they say, it’s not what you know,nits who you know. Just a thought.
I’m having a heck of a time with vertigo. I know it’s a result of these ear drops, but I don’t want to stop them until I’ve finished the recommended course. That will be Wednesday. They make my head spin. I am spinning to the right, it’s weird. Being nauseous all day stinks. :toilet:
Hugs to all,Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Chilly & mostly sunless here today, typical fall day.
Ran out for a few necessities & then came right home. I don’t even feel like I want to be out there until this covid mess starts to clear.
Our son informed us he will not be coming over for Thanksgiving after all due to the fact that 1/3 of his entire big city fire dept. is out sick with Covid. It’s that bad
Trying to stay safe is getting harder & harder.

Byrdie, I am sorry to hear about the vertigo. Ear drops should not be doing that, what a shame. Perhaps you have an inner ear infection causing the vertigo. Call your doc please & report those symptoms :hug:
Take care & be careful you don’t fall.

Narilly, I got. Up at 7 am Saturday because I had a mattress delivery scheduled between 8:30 & 11:30. It actually showed up at 1:30 pm so I was not thrilled I got up so early, haha!
So many people around the world are out of work now, it’s so sad.

Hello to the rest of the group. & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav