Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well, I just couldn't stand the cold exposure, @Guitarista, but I LOVE Wim Hof's breathing techniques - one of the more amazing body hack's I've ever tried.

@Rahulthesweet, my initial response to your post (before I saw all the sage advice to you about communicating in writing that several nesters have offered) was to just print out the poems you've shared with us over the years and give them to your family members if your goal is to let them know you better. And the thing is, you need to open up if you want deep, meaningful relationships with them. Because I finally stopped pretending/lying here, MWO friends know me better than any of my real life friends to whom I only revealed the always-ok, large and in charge NoSugar. Actually, my experience here has enabled me to be a little more open and vulnerable with family and friends (although I have not yet shared the full story and all the trauma) and it has made those relationships better. And it is a huge weight off my shoulders. Anyway, I think your poems are a lovely window into your world. Maybe you can invite your family in and see where it leads.

Thanks for the ideas, @KENSHO. I'm going to look into what would be helpful here.

Have a good day, Nesters. And don't drink (which of course is necessary in order for us to have a good one!). NS

[Rahulthesweet]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Everyone,

I read everyone's responses and I had tears when I read nosugar mention of poems. Honestly, I an shocked to see that you all remember me my posts and my struggles. After all you all strangers. People who are close to me don't know me and it really Hurts that I also may not know my wife struggles for example. When I was I out there drinking she was alone. She was the one who have struggled most definitely more than me. I had alcohol to numb myself to get that high get that buzz. Such a sweet girl and expected a loving husband and got who ? A fucking alcoholic dick introvert who can evdn share and talk !!

Today honestly there is not much connect with her. She complains so often that how I remain lost in my own world. How I don't share ..

I have been so with myself for so long ... and here you are fine folks remembering my poems.

I then see my kids growing up and like a typical teens they want freedom. They have grownup without much of bonding with me. I now try to talk to them I want to tell them what's I am about but they seems as a "parent". I don't blame them I was out there with my bottle when they were young ...

What the point of last 10 years running after success when you cant learn to make relationships.

Such is my plight .. you know know more about me than people who are closest to me.
.I joined another physical forum for sharing .. we have monthly meetings , structured. These are bunch of success people (not alcoholics ) who are here to help each other out ... And I could not share with them and they have stopped sharing among themselves ... is it me ??

Last 8 to 9 months I have been sending more time home. But most of my time goes in blaming my team for not performing, sucking in failures, and telling myself how my life is so fuckup. I love at home, I work at home but I am so distant with my family. I so want to be close to them ..

I feel like crying shouting ... but I am so so so grateful that I don't feel like drinking at all. That's one good thing ...

Maybe I will share my poems with my wife ... I expect she will judge me , will tell me I told you so. Isn't it obvious when you drink so much. Why could you just stop. Why could you just share it with me ... ..why do I keep coming back to past. Why I cant I just ..

Why me ? (

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Maybe it will mean the world to her that you are going to let her in. Be brave, Rahul. :hug:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Winer is definitely here, Brr! I actually prefer colder weather because it wakes me up after a long sluggish summer, Lol
Baked up a double batch of sourdough cutout cookies today. I will attempt to decorate them tomorrow I think.

Rahul, I really think you are punishing yourself, you don’t have to do that. I agree with the others that you should start communicating with your family especially your wife. Don’t assume you know what her response is going to be, she just may appreciate your honesty & willingness to get the lines of communication open. It’s hard, I know but just give it a try.

NS, you’ll be glad to know the sourdough cookies use very little sugar until you hit them up with decorative icing, haha!

Pav, my birthday is the 19th right before the winter solstice. Always something to look forward to - the light!

Ava, I can’t deal with a car that behaves like that. I’d probably trade it in now while everything still works!!! My BFF who still works at the hospital we worked at for so long contacted me today - she tested +. They have been tested routinely 2X/week since the start. I don’t know what I can do for her although she said symptoms are mild so far. Her 90+ mother lives in the same house so that’s a big worry too. Yuo stay safe.

Wags, hope your week is going well.

G, the last thing my system needs right now is a major shock so I’ll stay on the beach . You take care too!

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Wednesday everyone.

Rahul, you are being really hard on yourself, relationships can really suck sometimes- they ebb and flow. Communication is huge, like Lav says, your family may appreciate your honesty. I am so glad you checked in and so glad you are sober.

Oh my gosh, so much interesting stuff here to respond to and I don't have time because I have to get ready for an interview! Yippee!! AND I am 99.5% sure I will be getting the contract tracing job, I just got an email to do the onboarding. Wow!
You guys said I would get a job and to hang in there and I didn't believe you, haha.

Ok, I gotta go but will post more after my interview tomorrow.

xoxo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Narilly, we knew you would get a job, good for you . Wishing you luck & happiness in your new position!!

Well, I did decorate those cookies today to the best of my ability, haha! All my life I’ve been able to bake fairly nice cookies & cakes but when it comes to doing the decorating I’m just lost. There’s an art to doing things like that, just ask Byrdie!!

Hope everyone is OK & just busy today. I heard from another friend today who thinks she may have Covid as well. Our state governor tested positive today & I know he’s been especially careful since the beginning. I’m determined to stay healthy but the way this virus is spreading, who knows?
Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nar - awesome news about the interview AND about the contact tracing gig. We'll look forward to hearing how the interview went and whether you think the job is a good fit for you.

Lav - I get what you're saying about decorating cookies, cakes, etc. There is definitely an art to it, both in terms of having a good "eye" for the decoration you choose, but also in terms of technique.

Speaking of cookies, I just started watching the Great British Baking Show (I know, I'm late to the party on that one) and am really enjoying it. I've chosen it as my last thing to watch before bed and it's a good choice for winding down. Funny, light, and I'm learning a few things here and there. The Queen's Gambit was fantastic - didn't want it to end. The scene where Beth is hauling the big trash can of bottles out to the curb really hit home, along with several of her drinking comments and behaviors. I'm certain others here who have watched this felt the same.

Happy hump nights and Thursdays to all of you!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters..

dear Kensho, If I remember right, today is your 3 year AF anniversary! Congratulations on finding your way out.. wishing you a wonderful day and hoping you find some nice way to celebrate!:love:

Great news with the job interview, Nar.. crossing my fingers and toes that they see what a valuable part of the team you'd be!

love to you all..xxx

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Happy 3rd birthday Kensho and so proud of you and what you are achieving. i hope you have a lovely day.

Nar, yes we all knew that someone would value you and employ you. great work and government jobs are the best, well mine is very secure.

My car made it into work and home without a single problem, happy days for me. I had a blood test the other day and dr wanted to see me, my iron is a 5. oops. i just thought i was more tired than normal tired and it was hormones. My dr wants to do a few more tests. Sadly my gp is leaving and i have been going to her for 12 years. i am devastated. she did give me her personal mobile number which was lovely and as she said - some patients are just patients and some are friends. The kids and i have decided we will have family days out to go and see her at her new medical centre.

Lav my cake decorating skills are abysmal. i look at the old videos of the birthday cakes for the kids and want to cringe lol but they werent that fancy back then thank goodness. Byrd you really need to start a cake making business.

Glad to see you check in LC and hope you and the girls are well.

G, the water is freezing in Melbourne, i honestly cant even put a foot in the water. I did find a dog beach near me so plan on taking the fur babies there when it warms up.

take care and be safe xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Congratulations, Kensho! What a big milestone. I hope you celebrate yourself today and take a moment to be proud of what you have accomplished. Yahoo!

Nar - Yay to you, too. I feel like it is easier to find a job when you have a job. The pressure is off and you can be yourself. I hope it all works out how you want it to - I believe it will!

Wags, I'm so jealous you get all of those GBBS to watch new! I love them for all of the reasons you say. They have some holiday shows I might watch, although I must admit it is the non-holiday baking that interests me the most. I LOVE the savory pies and breads especially.

Ava - what do they think may have caused it? I don't know what normal is, but I am assuming 5 is very low, right?! The good news is that when you get it up you'll feel less tired, right?

My son and I are going to try some cookies this year. I follow some chefs on Instagram and some of them look great. They look so easy on Instagram - should be no problem, right? HAH. He and I made some decorated holiday cookies two years ago and had fun putting Santa in a bikini and things like that. The pandemic will help with the time for baking... Lav, what do you decorate yours with?

Happy SOBER Thursday. This week has dragged by, but we're on Thursday at least.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest!

LC, thank you for remembering! You made my day!

Thank you Ava! Glad that your car worked for you. Its one of those things we take for granted!

Narily good luck on the position!

There's a lot going on here... my phone screen is turning black after I dropped it (can't do my work!), my bookkeeper passed away from Covid - had no big symptoms one day, couldn't breathe well another day, died 6 days later - PLEASE wear masks people!, and I am struggling to have focused time to do my work. I have enough work to be full time, but an interrupted by the kids or noise with all four of us in the house, so I can do a fraction. Trying to figure out how to have "family hours", and "work hours". Nothing irritates me more than just getting focused, and being interrupted every 5 minutes!!!! AHHHHH!

BUT - I am 3 years sober. I can't imagine how much harder all of this would be - or how much less rewarding it would be - if I was numbing through it. I will say that deciding to stop drinking is the absolute best decision I have made in my lifetime. It was also the hardest. But I have more appreciation for the present (and whatever gifts and challenges it offers), clearer goals, have made amazing progress in my career, am helping others when possible, am connected with my kids, have boundaries with others and I'm LIVING life - not avoiding it. There were some hard things to deal with once I stopped - because we have to deal with the stuff that caused us to want to numb - but with time and more sobriety, a more balanced mind and with willingness to do the work, I found my way through them and the other side is completely worth the work. AND... I don't really miss drinking much. Occasionally I feel the pull, but everything I feared about quitting worked itself out in ways that are much, much better.

Anyway, rambling... Thank you all for the continued support. I couldn't have done this without you all!!! :heartbeat: :heartbeat:

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations on 3 years, [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION]. Thanks for staying on MWO and sharing the ups and downs of living an authentic life. All the best, NS

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Kensho, CONGRATS to you on your 3 years AF :welldone:
It’s a precious gift we give ourselves when we quit, we have to protectit at all costs. Keep moving forward, no looking back now.

Hi NS!

Pav, I decided to make a thin, runny type cookie icing (3 C powdered sugar, 4 T. Water, 1 t. Vanilla). It was too thin to use in a bag withg a frosting tip so I emptied out a plastic squeeze mustard bottle & it worked great. Run an outline around the edge of your cookie then fill in the center. I sprinkled on red & green sprinkles, kids love them. Good luck & have fun with your cookies.

Ava, do you cook with cast iron pots/pan? That’s a simple way to get more iron in your system or you can just take a supplement as directed. Honestly, every year we get older it gets harder justto maintain ourselves, haha. Hope you get it worked out OK.

LC, good to see you checking in today

Wags, I only wish I had those special art skills for fancy cake/cookie decorating. I have a Polish heritage Facebook page I follow & those women do some AWESOME cookie decorating. Guess Ijust didn’t getthe genes, hahha.

Chilly here again today yet they are predicting temps near 60 the next 3 days, Lol
Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters!
Kensho, 3 years is absolutely amazing! Where did that time go? We are mighty proud of the sober superhero you have become. You are a role model and have every right to strut and be proud. Congratulations on this great accomplishment! :three:

You know, Rahul, when I am faced with a challenge of any sort, I reach back into my toolbox of skills that I learned right here. One day at a time. Your wife loves you and she is on your team. I’d give anything if my hubs opened up to me. I have to think she would welcome your trying to get closer. I know I would. I think you are a gem of a man, with depth, who likes to share, just like you’ve done with us. Maybe you just need the skills to learn to do it. And with any skill, it takes practice. Keep trying! You can achieve anything you want, just like you achieved sobriety. You’re in sales, if I’m not mistaken Does anyone give you any business if you don’t go after it? They didn’t for me. I had to face my fears and ask for it. The worst they can say is no, right? You have so much to offer, I imagine Mrs Rahul will embrace the opportunity to learn more about you.
As you may know, a couple years ago, I found out the man who raised me (and my sister) is not our bio father My sister and I are a product if the family doctor. We have been rejected by the doctor’s 3 legitimate children. So I sent a FaceBook friend request to all their kids. One of them connected with me. I explained who I was and he welcomed me with open arms. Said he’d pave the way for his sister, too. I told my sister to send him a friend request, too. She said she was too afraid. What if he ignored her? I told her to press that button and invite him! He immediately connected to her and sent her a note! The moral of the story is: In this life, you don’t get anything unless you ask for it.

Cookie decorating is fun and exciting, but I can’t pipe icing to save my life. My hands are too hot or something, the frosting melts. Maybe I’m just slow, but I avoid piping at all costs. Hats off the all the pipers out there.

Hope everyone has a great evening. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - Congrats on 3 years AF!!! I remember back to your days of trying to moderate, or having Af months you'd string together before drinking again. And then one day it was like you flipped a switch or something and you haven't looked back. I'm so proud of your efforts to sit with discomfort and to truly live life -- all of it, not just the fun or easy parts. I hope you're able to find a better balance of work & home during the upcoming months while we're all still living in a covid world. Baby steps will add up, so keep trying!

Rahul - I agree with Byrdie. As hard as it will probably be, I encourage you to reach out to your wife and family. They love you and are on your side, and will likely welcome the opportunity to know you better. Having said that, they might need to learn a few skills themselves, so don't give up if things don't go totally smoothly.

Ava - glad you found out about the iron deficiency. I hope your fatigue eases up once you're able to address it.

Pav - I'm loving the GBBS so far. I can't believe I waited this long but am very glad to have so many episodes to look forward to. I'm already developing a few favorite bakers, although it seems they did a good job of choosing people who are easy to cheer for!


Hellos and waves everyone. Happy (almost) Friday to all!