Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good MAE:

Just a quick hello this morning. Staying focused and staying sober.

Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sunny here today with a very chilly wind & I was getting used to spring haha!! Grateful to be alive & healthy to enjoy whatever comes our way
Two more days of watching my son’s senior dog, I get used to her being here too. Nothing real exciting going on with me but that’s just fine.

Hi Pav & everyone!

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, all. Lav, I’m so sorry I missed your big doings! 12 years is simply amazing! I hope you had some great cake and cookies!

Kensho, I was just looking for a nester (years and years ago) who was 9 days shy of a year and she went on vacation to Italy. She didn’t think one glass would derail her, but it sure did. I have kept an eye out for her since and she has never been able to get her footing since. That stuck with me at the time (scared me, if you want the truth), I wish I could find it to share with you. She was absolutely sick about it when she got home, who doesn’t know that awful feeling of having relapsed. She wanted to keep her day count going as if it hadn’t happened. She asked me specifically if she could do that and rationalize it. I said, I tell you what, go the next 9 days AF and we’ll discuss it again. She was unable to string those 9 days together. As you can gather, it’s an endless game with no winners. We are what we are. There is no bargaining with addiction. Don’t let that wine tell you it’s ok. It lies. That Stanley Tucci show is compelling, I was almost in the kitchen twirling pizzas! Stay strong, dear friend!
Slo, I’m so sorry to hear about your marital troubles. As I went through a divorce many years ago, I felt so alone. I knew it happened to people every single day, but it’s a process. My heart is with you.
Not too much going on here, you haven’t missed anything. I’m getting my 2nd vaccine next Thursday. Looking forward to that. I made a necklace for the occasion.
Hugs to all! Byrdie
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[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I couldn’t get on the site earlier, but glad it’s working now.

That’s a “sobering” tale, Byrdie. It really grabbed me! It sure makes me never want to drink the wine if I go to Italy.

Now pregnant daughter and 14-month-old Beckett have COVID too! They are feeling quite poorly.

HB wants to put a rush on getting divorced because he doesn’t know what to do with his business now that his father passed on and his brother wants out and the heir apparents (his brother’s sons) don’t want it. So he wants to settle his first problem -me -before he moves on to tackle his second problem. I’m starting to get hopeful that maybe we can stay together. I’m surprised that I’m finding that I really don’t want to separate after all. Like you say, Byrdie; it’s such a lonely feeling.

I’m so tired of knee pain! Who’d of thought that 15 months plus out of surgery a knee replacement would still hurt? I do a lot of sitting anymore so I can get a break from the endless discomfort.

Happy April!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - I'm so sorry that you're in this difficult time. I am glad you had your wise friend's advice (and the wise advice here too!). If you're feeling like you'd like to stay together, I would not give up on that just yet. Have you discussed the possibility of counseling? Or do you have the skills yourselves to have meaningful dialogue around what's going on? Either way, be gentle with yourself but also enforce your boundaries. As a worthy loving soul, you have "rights" (so to speak) and you certainly don't have to rush (or be rushed).

Kensho - you might remember that my wife and I biked across Italy with friends a few years ago (how has it already been a few years?!?). Anyway, I decided ahead of time that no glass of wine was ever gonna possibly taste or feel better than my sobriety, and I told everyone in advance that I would not be drinking on the trip. This helped me stay accountable. While everyone else didindulge in wine at every meal (or so it seemed), my thing became trying a new gelato in each and every city and town we visited. There are gelato shops everywhere! The servings are small compared to U.S. standards, so it wasn't even a huge calorie load. It was fun to have a special indulgence and everyone else joined in as well, so we had a different way of "celebrating" together as a group. Maybe you can come up with something similar as an alternative to the wine?

Lav - it sounds like covid numbers are increasing in lots of places. I think things are still gonna get worse before they get better. I'm so glad for the vaccines though. It's like a safety net that helps protect against the selfishness and stupidity of others.

Hellos and waves to Byrdie, Pav, Ava, G, Hula, and everyone else stopping by the nest. It's almost the weekend!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Slo, the great thing in all of this shit show is that you are sober and you are clear headed. Can you imagine drinking while your husband has dumped this on you and how you would react. My drinking career really escalated when i left my husband, i knew it was the right thing to do in leaving but since i already felt bad i thought i would go the whole way and feel like a total failure and bury myself in a bottle for the next 8+ years. You are a strong beautiful woman and whatever happens you will get through it. Im so sorry to hear your daughter and gbaby have covid, i hope they recover quickly and i hope if/when you get tested it is negative.

I went for a walk this afternoon, lost my house key on the walk, retraced my steps and still could not find it. carl was most unhappy as it was humid and became slightly stubborn, i became slightly impatient as it was getting dark. No kids to let me inside so i had to get in through my bathroom window after emptying the garbage bin and lifting it over the water heater. I successfully got inside. Back in the day that would have justified a bottle or two of wine. today, the positive was that i was still agile enough to climb through a window and could fit.

Lav, i like quiet days even though i feel guilty that i am not doing anything. Today was one of those but i did manage to clean the fridge and wash walls. tomorrow is going to be quiet as meeting G and Steady and thankfully i feel nearly human again.

Byrd i love the necklace and wear it with pride. I need to make an apt to get my vaccination but wont till i go back to work. Mum has her vaccination booked for the 12th April so that is good.

time for dinner, im exhausted. take care xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Wags, I remember that trip!. First - I was jealous of biking around Italy. Sounds so cool. Second, I was impressed that you stayed away from the wine. The first year I quit I bought "Friday Night Pints" of ice cream... They were my "reward" for a long work week. I try not to do that every weekend, but in a gelato a day in Italy while on a bike trip sounds about perfect.

Slo - I didn't know your knee was that painful. Did you get it replaced because of arthritis? Sorry you have that on top of everything else.

Ava! That story made me laugh - very resourceful of you. Climbing through a small bathroom window is no small feat. Poor soggy Carl. Glad you both survived. Very cool that you get to connect with Mr. G and Steady! xo

Congrats, Byrdie! Love the necklace.

Happy SOBER Friday. Tonight I will NOT have Friday Pints as I am trying (with little success) to shed the extra pandemic pounds...

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have quite the picture in my mind, Ava :haha:! Good for you being limber enough to pull it off!

Slo, whichever way it goes, I know the sober you will be able to handle it and will not allow yourself to be taken advantage of or pushed around. When I was addicted, I put up with stuff I no longer do because I didn't think I "deserved" to have things my way. We ALL deserve to be treated with kindness and respect - don't settle for less!

I love your necklace, Byrdie. I felt kind of powerful after my second shot but am trying to remain reasonably cautious and acknowledge that it will be awhile before everyone is comfortable.

It's funny what a big deal the wine in other countries is to current and former drinkers. I traveled in Europe a couple times before regular drinking was even part of my life. I honestly don't remember whether I drank wine at all. On a later trip I could barely enjoy the sights we were seeing during the day as I desperately awaited our (always late!) dinner when I finally could drink (but only 1 or at the most 2 because I didn't want anyone to know the truth - very unsatisfying!). Addiction pretty much ruined the trip. I agree with Wags that removing the option before you board the plane is the way to go.

We're visiting my parents this weekend - first time in over a year other than a couple very brief, socially distanced, outdoor visits. I'm not sure I'm ready for the emotions of it all. Good that I don't drink because I know I'd be tempted to stuff them up!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sunny but COLD & windy. What happened to spring anyway??

Byrdie, love the necklace. I found that bunny rabbit cake pan in the back of my closet today & baked up 6 3D bunnies for the kids. I used a recipe from King Arthur Flour website for chocolate fudge cake using a cup of coffee for extra flavor. I made it decaf for the kids haha!!

I haven’t been back to Europe since I quit drinking but I have been to Canada twice. Saw lots of people enjoying wine in the outdoor cafes, I enjoyed my iced tea & it was just fine. Seeing others drinking no longer bothers me, it did at first. I’m not about to give up my quit for a stupid glass if wine regardless of where I go Lol.

Slo, sorry to hear about your daughter & grandbaby, hope they heal quickly.
I also hope you can find a way to have the life you want & deserve at this point. :hug:

Ava, I am way too old to climb in a bathroom window at this point - good for you

Wags, I remember your trip as well. We were all proud of you too! As far as the Covid #s it sounds like it’s mostly variants at this point. I’m looking forward to hearing what we have to do in the future as far as booster shots, etc. We have successfully beat smallpox & polio so I have faith we will beat this too.

Pav, I am trying to foget about the pandemic pounds.....for now. I think the winter holidays put me over the edge a little, Lol

NS, addiction free is the only way to be . Life is easier, more honest AF & no longer sould sucking like it had become.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Young daughter tested negative for COVID on a rapid test (she was exposed to her bro-in-law who has it), so she’s out of her little lockdown now! Having been going to high school in person this school year, she is used to the drill of getting these exposures.

So now we can proceed with our tiny little Easter of having two people over for a total of five. That’s fine with me -I don’t feel up to handling a large gathering with this damned knee, and it’s an appropriate-sized gathering with COVID still with us.

I suffered a severe injury to that knee when I was 19, and it deteriorated over time, and with repeated injures. So it developed osteoarthritis. I thought knee replacement was supposed to be the solution to the chronic pain after all other options were exhausted! Well, not for me it looks like, and I’m really bummed, and tired of pain.

HB is being really nice, and much more respectful! He even took me out to dinner yesterday (well, no major sports were on TV), and he even ordered an AF beer with me! And talked about how some of the AF beers I keep in the fridge taste really good! (He drank the day before at a baseball game, and will drink today when golfing, so decided to take a break.)

Ava, my sister-in-law wears a coiled plastic wrist bracelet with her house key attached when she walks her dog. Maybe something like that would work better than a pocket. You were very resourceful in finding a way back in!

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=23772]Administrator[/MENTION], at least 2 of us have received “unsafe” warnings when trying to sign in here. It happened to me last night and this morning. Do you know what’s up? Thanks!

[zmenchhofer]

Re: Newbies Nest

@Administrator, at least 2 of us have received “unsafe” warnings when trying to sign in here. It happened to me last night and this morning. Do you know what’s up? Thanks!

I have resolved the issue

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - I'm sorry to hear that your knee still causes you so much pain even after replacement. That's great news about the negative covid test and your husband being nice to you. I hope you're able to find your way through this together, even if that means mutually agreeing to split up.

Byrdie - somehow I missed your necklace! That's super fab and is obviously perfect for you.

Lav - I too think we'll eventually get past covid, but I fully expect we'll need boosters or more short lockdowns before we're out of the woods.

Ava - that's such a great story. Congrats on the agility and ingenuity to climb your way back into your house. Maybe Carl could carry the key for you? Please pass on hellos to Steady and G when you see them. Super jealous of nesters who are able to get together.

NS - thanks for aerting the admin about the "unsafe" warnings. I got them a couple of times yesterday so decided to wait and see if things got sorted before reading or posting again. Glad it was a short-lived issue! I hope you have a great visit with your parents.

Pav - I'm in the same boat trying to lose a few quarantine pounds. I was doing really well until the past few months. I think the stress and poor sleep while our pupper was so sick sent my cortisol levels through the roof. Or maybe menopause, which is oh-so-fun (not). Anyway, no friday-night pints of any kind for awhile!


Hope you all are having fantastic AF weekends!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I couldn't get on the site yesterday, but here I am.

Yes, Wags, I am blaming both excessive cortisol and hormones. Some people have the response not to eat when they have anxiety, and I have the opposite. I feel like I want something crunchy and salty or sweet in my mouth at all times. It is a struggle not to cave all of the time. I do have a deal with myself for this month and sweets. And a plan. Sound familiar? How is your pupper doing?

NS - so great you get to see your parents. I hugged my mom for the first time in a long time - it felt great. I get emotional just hearing about you getting emotional.

Glad you had a nice evening SLO. Glad for the negative test, and your party of 5. Have fun.

There's a new book called Breath by David Nestor. When my friend first started talking about it (ALL OF THE TIME) I politely listened in disbelief. Then I listened to a podcast about it and did more reading about the new breathing therapies, and I have been trying some of the techniques. I am not kidding - my blood pressure has dropped by 10 points since I started. All I try to do is be more conscious about my breath. I do 6-7-8 breathing to and from work in my car (about 15 minutes each), and I am mindful throughout the day of deepening my breath and making it longer. I am a convert. I know that breath is important in yoga and feel it then, but I didn't take the effort to extend it to my daily life. I HIGHLY recommend the book and/or the podcast. I don't have a specific podcast - he's been on many.

Happy SOBER Sunday. Easter used to be a big day-drinking event for me. Lots of champagne and wine on a Sunday - what could possible go wrong!? I am so very grateful that won't be happening today. Just a picnic lunch with my mom, sister and families. Should be beautiful, even if it is cold and cloudy here.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS, Byrdie, PAV, Wags & LAV, sometimes I forget I was/am addicted to alcohol. I just know I stay away from it. But it is important for me to stop and remember all the ways I was less happy when drinking, and all the ways life has improved since I quit. And I need to be smart enough to know that addiction doesn’t go away - that’s the piece I was forgetting. Thanks for setting me straight. I never, ever want to go back to how I felt in the throws of addiction.

I was driving with my kids the other day, and they mentioned the Stanley Tucci show, and I made a comment that I loved the show but it made me want to drink. They immediately got all over my case - my son saying, “I would tackle you if you tried to drink Mom,” and my daughter saying, “You are so much happier now Mom. You were so upset all the time then.” Well - I have done a good job getting the right people lined up to keep me accountable, including all of you here. Thank you.

Byrdie, I will forever associate the artwork in your necklace with YOU. I saw a print in a store window awhile back, and you were there with me!!

Slo, sorry to hear your daughter and grand baby have covid! That’s scary. Statistically, they should make it through fine - and the kiddos will likely be immune. Hugs for what you are going through with your husband. You will make it to the other side, and life will find brightness again.

Ava, sounds like you had an adventure! I would like to read a book that you write. “Life with Carl”. Let me know if it arrives on the shelves.

PAV, could the author be "James" Nestor? I would like to get it for my husband.

On a good note, I hugged my dad for the first time in a year yesterday, as he is vaccinated and in the clear. We met in a coffee shop and I started balling when I hugged him. The people in the shop were ahhhing and tearing up. There’s something SO important about touch. The masks are such a barrier and I look forward to burning them some day. My first vaccine appointment is tomorrow!!!

Kids are back in school and I’m pulling in some good projects. I am so grateful for life.