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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Slo - I'm so sorry things have deteriorated further with your marriage. Going through either that or knee surgery would be challenging enough, but both at essentially the same time sounds overwhelming. Good for you on standing up for yourself. It says a lot that that is one of the things influencing your husband's thoughts re divorce.

    Nar - so glad you're feeling better, and HUGE congrats on your 7 years!

    Byrdie - thanks for the support. My wife was up and walking the day after her knee replacement, and they've told her she'll be up and walking the same day she gets the hip. It's scheduled to be outpatient surgery, so as long as she passes the PT tests and revives enough from the anesthesia, she'll be home by bedtime.

    Lav - yes to all of what you said re post-surgery movement. These joint replacement procedures have come a really long way in the past decade or two. I'm so glad the hip recovery is generally easier than the knee. My wife is a retired physical education teacher so she's chomping at the bit to return to full activity as quickly as is safe/wise. Hope your snow storm was just enough to kiss winter goodbye!


    We're almost to the weekend everyone - stay safe and sober!!!
    Toolbox/Toolkit

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Hi Nest.

      Slo, I feel for you. I'm glad you had boundaries and stuck up for yourself. I had a few rough months with my husband when I quit - he had to get used a stronger me who couldn't be walked on. He may grow to have more respect for you, but it's an adjustment. Is there anyone else around who can help you after the knee surgery? Either way, I sense your strength and know you can do this. Just remain true to yourself and don't give up sobriety for ANYTHING.

      Lav, I would love some humidity! My nails and skin are cracking here in CO! My kids are inherently NOT hard workers - and we can't figure out why. Both my husband and I are very industrious Virgos - maybe we did too much for them.

      Wags, when is your wife's surgery? Slo, when is yours?

      Narily - 7 YEARS???? Fab-u-lous!! Hope you did something special for yourself. Glad you were C-negative.

      A man at my husband's work who walked around saying Covid was a hoax, and wore masks half-assed has a bad case now and had to cancel his trip to Hawaii. I hope he pulls through so he can reverse his position to everyone he knows.

      Working my butt off today. Work is busy and delayed at once, with a foam shortage (furniture) and construction material delays everywhere. High demand, low supply. I think we are going to have to rework our consumerist approach and do more re-using and recycling.

      Have a good day Everyone.
      Last edited by KENSHO; April 23, 2021, 09:39 AM.
      Kensho

      Done. Moving on to life.

      Comment


        Re: Newbies Nest

        Happy Un Hung Friday everyone!

        Slo, I saved the Annie Grace podcast to my favourites and will listen to it. Thanks!

        Ken, that is 'almost' funny that the guy at your husband's work got Covid. What the hell is it with these hoax people?

        My son is a bit of a YOLO but he also is doing very well in school right now and will have a nice designation when he gets out. We will see how things pan out. He is an amazing young man.

        Glad your wife is on the mend Wags. I can't imagine having that surgery 20 years ago, things have improved so much.

        Well, I am off to the market today, masked and distanced, in and out. That is the way it is these days. I have today off but work tomorrow, our Covid numbers are going up everyday and the variant is predominant now.

        Have a good one everybody.
        xo
        Narilly

        "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
        "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

        AF April 12, 2014

        Comment


          Re: Newbies Nest

          Greetings Nesters,

          I think most of my plants have survived the two frosty nights & now we will be moving into more reasonable temps. We went to an Amish greenhouse today & got more plants - can’t help ourselves, haha!

          Slo, have you contacted a lawyer yet to protect your interests? I hope you do so before your surgery is scheduled so your husband doesn’t get away pulling any fast moves while you are recuperating. His behavior is on him & you are not responsible for it, remember that. :hug:

          Wags, back in the early 70’s when I was a new nurse the poor old ladies would come into the hospital with fractured hips & have to endure a few days in traction until the surgeon would take them in for pinning. Lord it was awful back then. Techniques are so much improved now, thank goodness. Come to think of it we had a lot of people in traction back then for different things & you never see that anymore.
          Hope your weekend is fabulous

          Kensho, when the summer humidity arrives it’s frizzy hair city around here, haha!nIt’s way TOO much!!
          Your kids just may surprise you in the future & enjoy their independence.

          Narilly, what is your son studying? The world sure needs more good scientists.
          I feel better since we’ve had our two doses of vaccine but I know there’s plenty of people in our community refusing. How do you pound sense into these people??

          Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

          Comment


            Re: Newbies Nest

            Kensho - I wish we would rethink our consumerist approach. If we don't, Earth is going to do more and more to try to spit us off and I won't blame her for doing so! My wife's surgery is Tuesday, so just a few more days of pain for her.

            Lav - I don't think I could handle humidity like you all have. I lived in a humid part of the midwest (maybe that's redundant!) for a few years and everyone said I'd get used to the humidity but I never ever did.

            Nar - that's awesome that your son is doing so well in school. Is he still in classes remotely or have they resumed meeting in person?


            Hope everyone has a fab weekend in your respective corners of the world.
            Toolbox/Toolkit

            Comment


              Re: Newbies Nest

              Hi, All:

              Sorry I've been MIA - a lot going on at work and I've been getting up and out instead of a check in in the mornings.

              NARILLY! How did we miss your 7 year anniversary? Congratulations, my friend. I am so excited for you and grateful to have you as a support here. I hope you retroactively celebrated yourself!

              Here's my advice to you caretakers (sounds like most of you) - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES. It sounds trite to say, but I really mean it. There was a 6 month period a few years ago where we had ongoing medical issues with my dad, FiL, son and mom - multiple ER visits, trips to the hospital, etc. In the end, I didn't 'feel' stressed but I got pretty sick from not taking care of myself. Wags, you especially have had a rough patch. I hope you're exercising, relaxing, and having fun between the caretaker stints.

              Slo, I honestly don't know your situation at all, but from this side it sounds like the separation might be a good thing. Especially if helping you with your knee is listed as one of his reasons - that just doesn't sound like a supportive partner at all. I have a friend her who is single and lives alone and elected to have BOTH of her knees replaced in the same surgery!!! What?? She was in a rehab facility for two weeks where they took care of her, gave her OT, PT, etc., and then she had friends support also. Whatever you do, have an airtight sobriety plan going in. It will be hard, especially if he's not there to help you, and you need to prevent relapse now while you're strong!

              Kensho - I like the idea of everything recycled and repurposed. Maybe that can be the centerpiece of your business? I think people are ready for it.

              Well, it has been unseasonably cold here, too. It MIGHT rain tomorrow - we will take any rain dances, potions, prayers - whatever you have. We need every drop of water we can get.

              Hope you all have amazing weekends.

              Happy SOBER Saturday,
              Pav

              Comment


                Re: Newbies Nest

                Morning nesters

                Happy 7th birthday Nar, so proud of you girl. I still shake my head that i have not had a drink for 7 years, how we have grown in that time. I am glad you are keeping busy with work, hate it that its so much.

                MIA for me also, i have had mum down and visitors are soooo tiring. between work, making lunch, dinners, cups of teas and taking mum out shopping, i have not had time to do too much. I did take her to see my boss at work and she diagnosed a referred pain and gave mum a script for compounded cream which she rubs in. she is getting some relief so that is good. took her op shopping yesterday which she liked. going home today so i can catch up on the work i didnt manage to do.

                Have the 4 kids over for a visit today. Had a birthday last week and so hopefully the arrive bearing gifts lol. Im refusing to cook so pizza it will be.

                I have approval to get my teeth done so hopefully June and i will have two surgeries 2 weeks apart. Im excited that i will finally be able to chew anywhere i want to! Its the small things in life really.

                Slo, sorry to hear about your knee issues, everything creaks more when we get old but we dont like it too creaky. When my ex used to abuse me, it was always my fault, i pushed him to do it as i nagged too much or was a bitch. I would not have been like that if he actually fecking did something. I love being single, no one to be accountable to, can do what i want when i want. I am glad you are sticking up for yourself.

                Kensho, sorry to hear about your daughter being afraid, its hard for children to understand and god we are scared so we get it.

                Wags, i hope your wife's surgery goes well. i am lucky to have been lazy all of my life and only walked lol. no falls except when drunk and that was a fractured cheek (self diagnosed of course). Take care of you too.

                Time for a cuppa, take care xx
                AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

                Comment


                  Re: Newbies Nest

                  Good evening Nesters,

                  We had a nice day here, now waiting for the rain to begin. They have predicted 8P-8A for the rain, we shall see haha!!

                  Pav, I totally agree with your thoughts on caretakers, put yourself first!! I know the feeling of running on empty, it’s harsh to say the least.
                  I used to have half a house full of hand-me-down furniture. We gladly accepted donations when we were very young & poor. I will be happy to pass my current stuff on to someone else as well.

                  Wags, i was born & raised here in eastern PA & I have to tell you I never got used to the heat & humidity, it can get gross haha!
                  I’m here planting more trees & giving up a large portion of our landscaped lawn. We have a mini meadow now where it used to be just boring grass. The birds & the bees are loving it, visiting all the native plants that have popped up. I hope Mother Earth knows we’re trying to help.

                  Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
                  Lav
                  Last edited by Lavande; April 24, 2021, 05:29 PM.
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    Re: Newbies Nest

                    I love it that you have a mini meadow on your property instead of all grass, Lav. Much better for the birds & bees, and less mowing to do too!

                    Happy birthday, Ava! We’re the same age; I turned 57 this year too.

                    KENSHO -yes! That is the beauty of sobriety: we gain more self-respect and no longer tolerate being walked on. I think he is growing to respect me each time I stand up for myself over each issue. He kicks up at first though. I feel like we’re getting along well the last few days! ...wonder what he thinks? He talked to a lawyer on Friday about getting divorced, but I didn’t ask him how that went. I did get another recommendation for a lawyer for myself this week.

                    There does seem to be construction shortages going on. We just need to have one window replaced, and it’s on hold because they can’t get the supplies in. At least the Restore Stores exist now, for recycling construction supplies.

                    I still think my LCL knee ligament is strained. I see my surgeon on Tuesday, but I am seeing a second doctor on Wednesday -the one who ordered the physical therapy that I can’t get into until May -and will talk to him about the LCL; and hope to work on trying to heal the LCL and IT band and quad strengthening first before going the surgery route.
                    Interesting how “traction” is barely a thing anymore, Lav!

                    I had a gathering for dinner tonight with lots of drinking, and I hit the right notes for myself with the right beverages and the right amount and types of food to keep myself on an even keel -because no quick anxiolytic for me! I had lemonade, AF beer, and light tonic water with a twist of lime.

                    Have a cozy night under that nearly full moon!
                    Last edited by Slo; April 24, 2021, 10:08 PM.
                    Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

                    Comment


                      Re: Newbies Nest

                      Ava - Happy belated Birthday!!!

                      Great to see everyone checking in. I'm gonna keep my hellos short tonight as I'm pretty tired. Sending positive sober weekend thoughts to you all.
                      Toolbox/Toolkit

                      Comment


                        Re: Newbies Nest

                        Morning Nest! Lovely day here... sunny, crisp, and the birds are very happy. Can't wait to get out in it without a down coat!

                        PAV, it's always bothered me about the materialism that goes along with my career. I'm ready for a change. Good design is not determined by resources, it is despite them. Hope you got some rain!

                        Ava, yea for good teeth! Glad you are getting a fix...

                        Lav, what is 8P-8A? I am a fan of meadows... such a lot of work mowing that you will never get back! I lived in Boston for a summer and never got used to the heavier, wet air either. Yet, cracking dry here...A balance would be nice.

                        Slo, you sound positive. What a boozy party! It took me awhile to be able to be at them, and even now I avoid them. Glad you are taking care of you.

                        I visited my 76 year old dad yesterday - a man I adore - to help him clean the home is selling to move in with his partner. He gave me his old fishing vest and it made me sad - like he didn't expect to use it anymore. He is aging before my eyes and I'm feeling like I need to spend more time with him. Screw MORE projects... there are more important things in life. I do not have my parents forever.

                        Anyway, I'm off to make GF waffles. I love being sober. It's a much better way of life.
                        Kensho

                        Done. Moving on to life.

                        Comment


                          Re: Newbies Nest

                          Kensho, my hubs is 73 and it scares me to death to think about the short years ahead. Time is our most important possession. Sad to think that we won’t have our over ones forever.

                          Spent most of yesterday playing in chocolate. My project was too ambitious, by the end, I was getting cranky. I must keep the projects more manageable. Cleanup took forever. I kept messing up containers that were the wrong size. Oy. I needed a better Plan. Funny how that makes all the difference. It ended up to be more work because I didn’t have a good plan. Sobriety was like that, too. Funny that.

                          Slo, I’m so sorry to hear that your marriage is so unpredictable. Wishing you the very best with that and your knee. Hugs to you.
                          We’ve had every kind of weather today...cold, rain, sunny and warm. Weird!

                          Not much going on here, you aren’t missing a thing. Hope everyone has a peaceful evening. Byrdie
                          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                          Tool Box
                          Newbie's Nest

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                            Re: Newbies Nest

                            Hola evabody!

                            Yes, we must take time out and take care of ourselves daily!

                            Big wave to all.

                            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                            Comment


                              Re: Newbies Nest

                              Happy Un Hung Sunday everyone!

                              Ken, you are lucky to have your dad still. Mine passed away in 2006 and I miss him. He was an amazing man.

                              Byrdie, I have seen pics of your creations and they look amazing. You are very talented.

                              Yo G! Hello buddy.

                              Ava, I am glad you are getting your teeth fixed. There is nothing worse than bad teeth, I know this first hand. I am getting my broken tooth fixed in a few weeks. It is hard trying to eat when a tooth is broken.

                              Hi Pav, NS, SLO, Wags, everyone.

                              xo.
                              Don't drink today.
                              Narilly

                              "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                              "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                              AF April 12, 2014

                              Comment


                                Re: Newbies Nest

                                Good evening Nesters,

                                Sunny now after a night of rain. Everything was well watered, that’s for sure
                                Spent the day roasting a turkey breast & lots of veggies, love those leftovers. Haven’t left the house all day, not much going on.

                                Slo, if you can avoid another surgery that would certainly be ideal. Keep up with the PT & self care. Sounds like your husband is noticing the ‘new you’. Good!!!!

                                Ava, you’ll be so glad when all the dental work is done. My mom went thru all that when I was in high school so I did what I could to help out like doing the food shopping, etc.
                                Sounds like you have had a heck of a birthday week, good for you!

                                Kensho, I was referring to the weather prediction of rain starting at 8 pm last night lasting until 8 am this morning. THe prediction was pretty close, haha!

                                Byrdie, maybe you need a young assistant to clean up after you. I could sure use when when I get kitchen projects going. Your creations were absolutely beautiful.

                                Hi to G, Wags, Pav & everyone.

                                Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
                                Lav
                                AF since 03/26/09
                                NF since 05/19/09
                                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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