Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening all,

Still damp & chilly here, only 46 degrees this morning so it’s not been a typical unofficial start to summer by any means.
Thought my grandson was staying a 2nd night but he has gone home, he had fun I guess. Haven’t been able to do anything outside for 3 days due to all the rain & I’m sure the weeds are taking over my gardens. I have picked some nice strawberries though

Hi Wags, Pav & Ava.

Ava, try real hard to focus on the final outcome of your dental surgery. I know it’s worrisome to have to wait & imagine stuff but in the end you’ll be so happy it’s done. Keep enjoying your walks with Carl, He’s a good buddy

Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - I had weird teeth dreams before some big dental work I had to have done last fall too. I've heard it's pretty common. As hard as it probably is, Lav has a good suggestion about focusing on the ultimate outcome rather than the stuff in between. You're gonna be SO relieved when it's done. Carl is probably more than willing to give you extra puppy snuggles.

Nar - how's everyone doing in your family?


Another pretty good day off here. I'm taking a high-pressure work-related test in about 2 weeks so I've been trying to fit in a few hours of prep for that every day. I'll be glad when that's done.

Hellos and waves everybody!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you for sharing your story, Byrdie. I was doing similar,; in my last year of drinking was getting scary worse. I would be drinking beer out of a coffee mug with hubs and family; trying to pretend it was tea, and trying to act normal. Trying to quietly open a wine bottle to sneak out of, and hoping nobody would hear or notice.
I suppose the resumption of neighborhood parties brought up the old memory of passing out before the party. How did your social events go this weekend?
You have me well-trained to always eat beforehand and to bring my own beverages, and these strategies serve me well!

The wedding was fine, and I enjoyed it well enough. I relied on extra sugar and food instead of booze. And we left before the dancing really got going, since we had a long one and a half hour drive home. So it didn’t drag on overly long.
The family gathering today to cook out and meet Mabel was also very nice. I felt a little flat and wish I could relax with intoxicants like the others do, but really the other women drank very little -only one or two drinks each. The men all drank more beers, and then settled in with aged whiskey, which is all the rage these days. So they got loud and friendly, and it seemed fun. But I would need to drink like a man and then drink them under the table, so best to be freed from that compulsion.

And then there’s my twin sister, stuck on a nearly month-long bender, so she couldn’t even come; and there’s HB’s work colleague who just died at 75, but after living incapacitated for about 5 years with wet brain...and that all makes sobriety look pretty sane & sweet!

Goodnight, Nest.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I love how your sobriety enables you and your house to be a safe place for the young friend struggling with addiction, Ava. What a gift! He has a tough road ahead, but at least he has one safe place to land.

Your weekend days sounded perfect, Wags and Pav. And homegrown strawberries would be a real treat, Lav.

The daughters all ended up staying together last night at D1’s for a sister sleepover! That’s a good use of the extra holiday day off today!

Wishing a good AF day to all here.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

have a migraine wanting to make friends but trying to discourage it.

Lav i am so excited to be getting my teeth done but of course this is nine days before surgery but as you say the end result will be worth it. having more than a couple of teeth to chew on will be novel. to the outside world my teeth look ok but to me they dont. And when it hurts i will come on here and complain! I googled your temp and yep that is cold. we had -2.4 yesterday and a huge frost to wake up to.

Wags, i think Carl is too attached to me. he was not impressed that i went to work last week but looks as if our lockdown will be extended and life will change again. How is your puppa going?

I am just gobsmacked that the government did not get us immunised before winter since the state of Victoria spent nearly a year in lockdown. Hotspots are popping up everywhere. luckily i get my 2nd vax in July. the humans are complaining about not being able to get in to be vacinnated, ummm maybe you should have booked in before we went into lockdown and you were against it. im slowly getting over the whinging and complaining of people. that is my whinge for today.

The positive is that my daughter is getting more work as people are ordering online and she finds the goods and packs it. I have started the online shopping again. bought some new saucepans with removable handles and lids so you can put them straight in the fridge, i am a bit excited. its the small things really.

Slo, that is lovely that your girls get on well together. I am lucky my kids get on well but mind you i told them that while i am above ground they will love each other, what they do when i am sitting on a mantlepiece is then their business. My son's friend is coming over today to put a few things together for me. I spoke to him yesterday and he was saying how grateful he is for waking up sober. When he said that i had lots of hope that he will do this. i know i could never grasp the concept of when Lav said to feel grateful. All i could think of was "what do i have to be grateful for", i lost my best friend (al). When i did take on grateful it changed my thinking completely and 7+ years later i am still grateful to wake everyday sober.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Memorial Day here for us in the US.
Formerly a big party day for most but people seem to be getting away from that & I am even grateful for that Ava

Ava, drop your worries here, we will all listen but we will also remind you that the end result will be fabulous!
We are coming out of lockdowns & restrictions here as ‘most’ people have been vaccinated. I’m still staying out of crowds though until some more time has passed. I don’t exactly trust people to be honest about their vaccination status. Glad your son’s friend is doing well & understands the gratitude part of the process. Sunny & quite a bit warmer today, nice day!

Slo, sounds like you did quite well at the wedding, good for you! I hope your girls had a good time too.
Yes, the strawberries are coming in now & soon we’ll have blueberries too. We have blueberry bushes all along one side of the driveway (edible landscaping).

Wags, studying for a license or certification? I found those tests to be very high pressure, good luck to you!

Hello to the whole crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Glad the weekend was ok for you, SLO. Freedom from the compulsion is worth the world to me. Every time I get the slightest inkling to have "one" drink, I think about how that will never be enough and could just re-start the miserable crave-consume-recover cycle.

Good luck preparing for your test, Wags - Interesting that you are going through the very same process you help your clients through. Are there test trainers for test trainers??

It is a chilly and grey first day of June. Kind of disappointing but I have a lot to do to get ready to be away so I guess it is a good thing. (I'll try to be grateful, like Ava reminded us!).

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Slo, glad you made it. I don't remember when your quit date is? I definitely went through "flat" periods when I was sure I would never drink again but I also thought - really? This is it? I do think that gratitude did it for me. I focused on all the positives in my life since quitting (which were numerous), and kept in touch here. I think you'll get to a point where you'll enjoy the sober events rather than just tolerating them. That is so very sad about your sister. It is so frustrating to see someone like that and not be able to do anything about it.

Ooh, teeth dreams. I used to have them more, but have fewer (that I remember) these days. Ava, was it up to your government to get vaccinations and they went slow, or was there just not enough vaccine?

Wags, good luck on your exam. I'm glad I don't have to study. Every once in a while I think about going back to school, but I think I might be done...

Happy SOBER Tuesday.

Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Not much happening here & that’s just fine with me
Trying to catch up with al the weeds & overgrown shrubs before the next batchof bad weather gets here Thursday.

NS, hope you have a great time away!

Pav, my DIL is talking about doctoral programs but doesn’t know what she wants just yet. I’d love to see her put that off for a while & pay attention to the two boys - but I keep my mouth closed around her. She’s BP & can go off like a rocket Your kids are older, if you wanted to go back to school it wouldn’t be hard on them. Hope your day was good!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - glad your family gathering and the wedding went well (or so it sounds). And now here you are with a few additional days tacked on to your quit rather than regrets and a new Day One.

NS - I would love to work with a test trainer! I might even pick up some new ideas that I could modify and use.

Pav - if you did go back to school, what would you want to study? If someone offered it to me for free I think I could easily find interesting classes to take for the rest of my days. If you like the idea of learning but not of being "in school" maybe a continuing ed course or two would appeal to you. Of course these days there are tons of options online as well, like the Great Courses site and at least one other that's similar.

Lav - wow, 46 degrees! It was 95 F here during the day so that actually sounds pretty refreshing at the moment.


The test I'm taking is largely for myself -- Every few years I pick a very challenging test to prep for and take, mostly because it really helps me relate to what my students are going through in terms of test-day stress/jitters, confidence vs self-doubts, time management, etc. It's obviously not exactly what they're experiencing but it's about as close as I can simulate. The test I'll be taking is one I might like to tutor for sometime in the future. If I get a high enough score I'll qualify to teach for the leading companies who currently offer prep courses, so I have my eyes on at least qualifying to apply for that. We're down to the final 2 weeks of prep and I'm already getting my memory refreshed on what this might feel like for my students right now.


On that note, I should hit the sack and get some sleep. My brain is tired. One more day of high heat here and then back down into more comfortable temps. Take care everyone!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

You all are right in that I need to up the gratitude for my quit. It is dangerous to slide into deprivation mode. I must remember that alcohol is NOT my friend at all -even if everyone else is drinking it and talking it up! And part of it, like Byrdie was saying, is adjusting to and getting back into the swing of socializing and attending large gatherings again, now that restrictions are easing. I hope I might get to the point of enjoying social occasions AF. My social anxiety problems do tend to get in the way of that. After all, that’s mostly why I drank in the first place.

Lav’s is the place to be in June, with fresh strawberries then blueberries ripe for the picking!

You get a double win out of your study course, Wags: better able to understand your students, and qualifying to teach something else! Plus keeping that brain dense and sharp.
Your hot weather is coming our way next: it’s supposed to be 90 degrees on Saturday for daughter’s high school graduation party. But that’s ok because at least there’s no rain in the forecast. I need to stay focused and get this thing planned and launched.

Thinking of you all with wishes for a good AF day for us all around!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wow, I'm really impressed that you are going through this voluntarily, Wags!! I figured it was required continuing education or for a license. When I retire, I would like to take art courses at our community college, learn new skills, and just enjoy the process.

I was so achievement/grade-oriented during my 20-some years of education, I didn't really enjoy the experience at all. The author of the book I told you about, The Valedictorian of Being Dead, so clearly describes how toxic it is to constantly be driven to be "the best". Our son was pretty achievement-oriented, too, and I was really relieved one day in high school when he told me he had decided to be a 94% (low A), instead of 100%, student. I wish I had had that much insight! Might have prevented some problems that appeared years later...

Have a good day, Nesters!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

LAV, those must be SOME storms to knock out your power! My son is eating the house too… I think he is growing because he tells me he is hungry at 10pm. He’s tired, so that’s not boredom eating! He is the tallest in our family of shorter people.

Narily, I read a big article about the history of alcohol use in the USA. I guess we have always drank too much, compared to other cultures. It was called “America Has a Drinking Problem”. I found the stats that validated me, but did see a little too much that made me want to drink too. So I quit reading it.

NS! Are you headed toward us? You will LOVE a getaway. Just pack sweaters! We are trying to get our kids to CARE about school. We are pushing them - but ask that they just get C’s and above. D’s show a lack of effort, and lazy is also not the way to go.

Byrdie, thanks for the vivid reminder about how awful it was to hide and crave and gulp…

Wags, 1.5 miles is great! Your wife is making progress! A farmer’s market and gardens sounds lovely. I LOVE both of those things - they make me happy!

AVA, your soup sounds good! Sorry your neck is hurting on the other side. Neck pain is terrible because it is affected by seemingly every movement we make. Mine has all but gone away, since I quit gluten and corn. Isn’t it funny when our pups give us attitude? Sorry you had to go to work, but glad you’re getting vaxxed. Gratitude is the key to unlimited happiness.

PAV, there is nothing better than clean sheets. After a shower. Truly.

SLO, you are so much better off than drinkers. There is NO SAFE LEVEL of alcohol to consume. I’m hearing that more and more now. Glad you had some fun and NO hangover!

We camped this past weekend - and it rained most of the time. Lucky we have a small pop-up. My husband had a large confrontation with his dad and mom, who were up there for part of the time. He said he couldn’t be around the dysfunction any more. They are classically “stuck” people - co-dependent, abuser and enabler. It’s sad. I started out like that with my husband, until I stopped drinking - then everything changed. He now knows he will lose me if he acts like his dad - and he’s actively working to reverse conditioning.

I miss you all. Trying to get up earlier now that it’s summer to read and post. We head to CA to visit BIL in a week or so, and they are all drinkers (and he said he bought edibles, which make me uncomfortable) - so best to stay connected! Hugs to you all!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Wednesday!

I have a day off today, woohoo!!! I also have an interview with the Health Region I am working for so hopefully that goes well. It would be SO good to be able to get out of oil and gas AND maybe get a company pension.

It is going to be HOT here today +31C which is around 92F. We get all kinds of weather here which is great.

Hope your neck pain gets better Ava, I was going to make a joke about a 'pain in the neck' but can't think of one right now. I know that it really sucks to go to work when you don't feel well xx.

Byrdie, you make such nice treats. I think you should go into business!

I changed my sheets last night, aaaah...nothing better than that. It is the small things in life. Eating fresh strawberries from Lav's garden along with Byrdie's chocolate and having clean sheets while beiing sober-sounds very nice!

Gratitude SLO, I am grateful to be sober everyday xo.

You are sounding great Ken. Yes, all these dysfunctional family relationships are strange and it is so hard to change patterns.

Have a beautiful day everyone and Don't drink today.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Kinda cloudy most of the day & now the sun arrives, haha!
Sounds like a super damp day tomorrow so inside projects it will be for me

Wags, so you are challenging yourself, no one else involved? Good for you!! It is good to be able to relate to your students. I was always an anxious test taker but survived. The worst was sitting for exams for 2 days in our state capitol to get my nursing license. You can bet your a$$ I protected that license with my life during my career, haha!

Kensho, good to see you. I know my kids are happy their kids school year is ending soon, Lol. Of course then there’s the problem of filling up all that free time with something worthwhile over the summer. Good luck! I’m pretty sure all 3 of my grandkids are going to be taller than me. I’m 5’6” & the 12 yr old is already taller, haha!

Slo, you did great so be proud of yourself. All these social things get easier with time, I promise.
Gratitude has been my most powerful tool & feels like a trusted close friend. Stay grateful :hug:

NS, I’ve taken a few online classes with our community college since I retired. Good to keep the cobwebs out & fun too

Narilly, it would be great to start a new career post pandemic, good for you! I hope it works out.

Ava hope your neck is better, I know the pain.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav