Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Small crowd today
As predicted I’ve been hiding in the AC all day - way too hot for me! I have been running cool snacks out for the chickens, they don’t like this heat either.

Byrdie, glad you’re getting the hang of eating with proper utensils again, LOL
Your chocolates are gorgeous as usual. I will unloading 6 dozen eggs on my daughter on Tuesday. She knows she can share them with friends or throw them at neighbors, whatever haha!!

Wags, hope your weekend has been nice & quiet!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning!

The weekend of celebrating daughter with a graduation party on Saturday and graduation on Sunday all went well! I tried to be brave, but then slept poorly Friday night due to nerves and was an emotional wreck Saturday morning, before the 12 noon start of the party. Just my social anxiety kicking in, combining with celebrating last daughter growing up, along with my marriage and life as I know it crumbling away...and all these people coming to our house, many of whom will be shocked when we divorce. It was just kind of a lot all together. I feel so sad and bad, and like a failure.
But it turned out to be a very nice celebration on both days.
I don’t use booze now to handle social occasions, but I do feel the need to rely on extra sugar to help me out.

I’m glad your parties went well, Byrdie; and I’m glad that Pav could balance her parties day with the next weekend day to chill.

I admire your creative hobbies: Byrdie venturing into the challenge of making chocolates, and Lav’s sewing project for a cause.

And here we all go, into a new AF week!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

LAV, I love thunderstorms. Seems like you get a lot of them! I can imagine my retirement a lot like yours - crafts, chickens and weather watching!

Slo, I’m sorry to hear about your relationship struggles. It sounds like a yoyo to your emotions. Whatever you figure out, I hope you are able to find some stability. You deserve someone who loves you and keeps his promises. AND YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! Failing is not trying, not living. You are sober (HUGE), and working hard to show your daughter love. It’s normal to feel a lot with so much going on! Give yourself some kind words please. What you are doing is not easy!

We have been enjoying various graduation parties. I have missed people!!! It has been so nice to really talk and not worry about alcohol. I used to be so socially anxious. I still stick my foot in my mouth at times, but I’m a good person, and I enjoy learning about other people. So many interesting stories!

Byrdie, your chocolates look beautiful!! All shiny and everything! YUM!

I have a lot to do this week before we leave the kids to visit CA on Friday morning. I need to find some balance. My daughter starts summer school today, and taking my son to get a checking account so he can start his first job! It’s been beautiful (but hot), and the air has smelled SO clean! Clean air is heaven to me! Trying to figure out how to eat on vacation while avoiding gluten, dairy and corn… I hate to be a bother to others, but I don’t miss migraines at all!

Hi to everyone I missed! 3.5 years sober, and my life is in a great place. I can’t imagine where I would have been now if I continued to drink. Sad, tired, deteriorated family relationships, less career success, and I would still be that hollow, unfulfilled person. SO GLAD I did the work!! If you’re lurking here, you can do it too!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest

Vacation is going well. Things will get busier tomorrow when more family arrives and then even busier later in the week. It is nice to be in a place other than our home given how much time we have spent there over the past year!
We no longer get to head your way, Kensho, b/c our family no longer live there. Now we head for the Great Lakes. My favorite vacation is on a Gulf of Mexico beach but it is nice to not have such a long drive and to have family able to join us.

SLO, I'm glad your weekend was ok. You can worry about sugar later, when your life feels stable again (it will!). I hope your condo and lawyer appointments are encouraging and reveal a path forward. Don't let anyone de-value you! You don't deserve the disrespect and dismissal you've received.

I'm glad I'm not your neighbor, Byrdie (Actually, I wish I were :heart! But I'm glad I can't easily get ahold of your dark chocolate covered cherries!!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Today was the 3rd day of 93+ degree heat so it’s officially a heatwave. Not my cup of tea, that’s for sure but I have stayed busy inside where it’s cool & comfy.

Slo, I’m glad your weekend went well despite everything. You have put the work in & deserve a good future. Be proud of your accomplishments, you are stronger than you think!!
Speaking of hobbies, they’re a good way to get your mind in a good place & help out others as well. I had developed the bad habit of negative thinking many years ago, I guess it just fit my mood at the time but I broke that habit deliberately when I knew it was time to stop drinking. I traded in the negative thoughts for positive thoughts, picked up on gratitude thinking too. It has served me well & it will for you as well :hug:

Kensho we sure do get a lot of thunderstorms here, the humidity makes that possible, haha! I have become a weather geek over the years. Another hobby I guess.
Congrats on your 3.5 years AF, wonderful!! I hope you enjoy your trip & have fun too

NS, I hope you are enjoying your vacation & having some fun too.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wow lots of hustle and bustle here in the past day or two. Seems like everyone is doing pretty well, in spite of some challenges.

Slo - it sounds like you have a lot going on that would possibly trigger self-doubts or uncertainties, but one thing for sure is that you are NOT a failure! Give yourself a giant hug from me (from all of us I suspect) and take a few deep breaths. You got through a very busy and stressful weekend sober, which was probably uncomfortable at times and thus all the greater of an accomplishment. Just like maintaining your quit, take all of these challenges one day or one step at a time. Not only CAN you do this, but you already ARE doing it!

Kensho - you sound really solid. Congrats to your son on his first job! I hope you have a wonderful trip to CA, and happy 3.5 years!!!

Byrdie - hooray for successfully returning to the world of social gathering and eating! Your chocolates look yummy as usual. I'm sure your neighbors love having you on the block.

Lav - glad you're able to stay at least somewhat comfy in the AC. What types of treats do your chickens like (or benefit from) the most in this heat? Can they have watermelon or similar?

NS - sounds like a good vacation so far. I can definitely understand the positives of being in a different space. We love our house and yard but we're starting to go a bit stir crazy. Enjoy all of your visiting and the relief of knowing you have no al to sneak or hide.


I had a dream last night that I was at a bachelorette party or something (which is weird already) and when it was time to do some toasts I was worried (in my dream) that people would give me a hard time for doing "cheers" with water. I guess it's a taboo for people who are really strict about those things. But in my dream nobody said a peep about it and I was so relieved. But then when I woke up I was thinking some more about how messed up it is that we have such things -- so many things -- in our cultures where drinking al is the expected norm and that people actually give non-drinkers a really hard time about it. It's really no wonder that addiction and substance abuse run rampant.

On that cheery note I'll say goodnight from the Pacific Northwest of the U.S. Glad we all have this safe place to tuck in.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Slo, sorry you were so anxious and congratulations for making it through. I have a social anxiety technique where I just ask a lot of questions. People love talking about themselves, and that way I don't have to bother to think of good stories myself. People feel good talking to me because I sound so interested in them! (sometimes I am...) And you're not a failure! Look at your girls. And 50% of US marriages end in divorce - very common. Take care of yourself!

Nice to see you pop in, Ken. Sounds like you're doing well.

NS, enjoy your family. That can be a lot AND a lot of fun...

Byrdie - I want homemade snickers! What an amazing hobby. I don't think I could stand not eating them...

Lav, stay cool. Outside and inside.

Wags, that is so true. Too much booze everywhere. We had dinner at some friend's house - they are both amazing cooks and foodies, but not in an annoying way. She had special cocktails for them, but also took the time to learn and create a special cocktail for me without booze. I was grateful that someone took the time and didn't just give me a glass of water.

Happy SOBER Tuesday,
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest. It's a beautiful morning here. I have SO much work to do as I am behind from driving my son all over yesterday for a bunch of firsts (checking account, drug test for his job, etc.). But right now, the air smells earthy, and a bird with a lovely and unusual song is outside my door.

My son came out to his sister this weekend, but not us. Maybe its something about it being really final once he tells us. He told her that he thought his dad knew but not me. I've known since he was 3! I'm both excited for him, and a little nervous for the prejudice he may encounter in his life. I hope he feels comfortable to live his truth soon in this house. Any step that gets us closer to authenticity is the right thing. We went to a thrift store this past weekend for props to use in an upcoming photo shoot, and he found a fabulous outfit that he tried on and wanted pictures of, complete with heels, a snakeskin trench a skirt and a scarf. He looked alive.

Good to see you Wags - you sound good and I'm glad you toasted with water instead of booze, even if it was just a dream! What is the PNW like in September? Or November? We have airline vouchers to use, but don't want to be socked in when we visit Seattle. Trying to brainstorm a new location to show the kids that doesn't require five plane changes.

NS - Yea! for travel! Glad you're enjoying your vacation. Any tips for travel locations? Where is this place on the gulf that you talk about, and does American Airlines fly there? We considered Austin for a music fest too...

Off to walk the pup and then start this crazy day. Never too late to start your authentic life and kick booze out. Life is so much more rich!!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, you are the great mom I thought you were :hug:

We used to vacation in Orange Beach, Alabama in a high-rise condo (Summer House). Then for years, we vacationed at various beaches in NC when we had family there. Loved all of it. I found out later that in the summer of 2012 (when I was seriously trying to stop drinking and had several longish spells of several weeks), we were at Byrdy's beach!! Small world, isn't it??

At a business trip 4 months into my quit, I was challenged by a "friend" for toasting with water, Wags. It sent met to the restroom to text a MWO friend and get some love and support. The mythology around alcohol that we have decided to believe is true is CRAZY!!

I still have negative thoughts, Lav, but I quickly note how I made that up and I could follow it or not - my choice! Since I like to feel good, I usually manage let those ideas that make me feel bad go. When I really get into a state, I ask myself what the source of all the things that are upsetting me are and it usually is ME! I remind myself what an unreliable reporter I am and try to step back and determine what really is true - not something I made up.

SLO, I'm thinking of you and hoping your meetings yesterday were good. xx, NS

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Wow we drove home from our daughter’s this afternoon in a giant thunderstorm with rain running like rivers on the roads. We didn’t even have any storms predicted for today. How’s that for Accuweather accuracy? Haha!!

Wags, I feed my chickens just about anything. Like dogs they can’t have chocolate & they refuse mushrooms but anything else cold or semi frozen makes a good treat to cool them down. They love watermelons, pumpkins, squash, etc. I often clean out my fridge right into their snack bowl.
I have to agree with the notion that drinking AL is expected socially. I guess people are disappointed when they come here for the most part. My husband keeps a few beers in his garage fridge so if they don’t want that they get nothing LOL I’ve noticed since I quit that our grown up kids don’t look for anything here & that’s nice.

Pav, nice that your friends considered you & made you an AF drink. Sometimes I don’t even get offered a glass of water, which is really funny.

Kensho, you sure have a lot on your plate lately. It’s good to hear that your son is beginning to feel comfortable to share his truth. Maybe sharing with one person at a time take some of the stress away for him.
I hope he likes his first job & makes the most of it this summer.

NS, isn’t it crazy that someone (adult) would challenge your drink choice at a business meeting? Makes you wonder what’s actually wrong with some people. Are they completely devoid of feelings, empathy, etc? I doubt negative feelings will ever stop completely BUT we now know that we are in charge of what stays in our minds & what must go immediately. I probably would have never figured that out on my own.

Hello to all & Slo, I am thinking of you as well :hug:
Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have to agree with the notion that drinking AL is expected socially. I guess people are disappointed when they come here for the most part. My husband keeps a few beers in his garage fridge so if they don’t want that they get nothing LOL I’ve noticed since I quit that our grown up kids don’t look for anything here & that’s nice.

Pav, nice that your friends considered you & made you an AF drink. Sometimes I don’t even get offered a glass of water, which is really funny.

NS, isn’t it crazy that someone (adult) would challenge your drink choice at a business meeting?
Lav

I guess what frustrated me at the party with my relatives a month ago is that historically our family’s parties centered around iced tea. But, I guess that was Grandma keeping things pretty AF -and she’s gone now. This last one had a plethora of hard liquor bottles, several wines, cans of hard seltzers and hard coolers, many varieties of beers -but no iced tea, no soda, no lemonade...just water if you weren’t drinking. I had water out of the faucet.

You know what is great about hosting a high school graduation party? People drink their beers, but, since the event is celebrating underaged non-drinkers, they don’t talk on & on about how good their drink is, and they don’t talk up a lot of hype that glorifies partying and all that. They just quietly drink their drink and talk about other things!

Wags, that’s interesting that some cultures have historically been strict about toasts having to be performed only with alcohol. I hadn’t realized this cultural underpinning of why people might take issue with toasting with a water glass.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends near and not so far,

Just clocking in with a grand, nothing special happening round here......whoa pilgrim! Hold up there amigo. Say whaaaaa? You say whaaat? a gr....a thowz.....a, er....um, 1000 days sober? Holy Dribblin' Deacon's dodgin' taxes! Yes, 1000 days for me today.

But in a rare moment of clarity, it's not all about me today. Slo has a grand + and kicking ass. Friend Kensho is present for her family and kicking ass. Everyone here is kicking goals and kicking ass.

I'm lucky to have a friendly, supportive, genuine place to post my thoughts or to read yours. the whole MWO site is a blessing and full of beaut people. Thanks evabody. Big waves and love to all. x

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

It’s about YOU, G-man! You might not be one much fo countin’, and yet look at this big number that you have counted up to -one little day at a time! Proud of you!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

HAPPY, HAPPY GRAND G-Man! So happy for you! Your posts are remarkably different than when you were struggling with alcohol. Now they are filled with positivity, hope, and enthusiasm for life - and it's contagious! High five Buddy!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

We leave bright & early tomorrow for a family reunion vacation in Utah! I am so thankful that HB’s cousins arrange these every-5-year reunions, or my kids would not know these people -who are their family!! -because HB does not want to ever get together with the ones who live right here, and he has also steadfastly refused to visit the California contingents throughout the years -even though they all invite us over & over again!

I’m excited to go to the national park! But my trip is blighted, because HB said he & I & daughter would be traveling home by truck together and touring the West -Grand Canyon, Mesa Verde, etc. So I put it on my calendar and was very excited to finally have this chance to see Colorado, Grand Canyon, and all these places I have never been to. And excited to have a vacation that wouldn’t be centered around alcohol, because young daughter doesn’t drink yet! -although she will start drinking soon, when she leaves for college.
Then he said he needs to have a “daddy-daughter” trip with just him and her; so he bought me a plane ticket, and said that I have to be sent home by plane on Monday. I have been having so much trouble getting past this. This is what was upsetting me graduation party morning. I’m just so disappointed at the loss of these opportunities; and also it just feels like such a dick move to me -it feels controlling, punitive, and designed to humiliate me. Meanwhile, the other daughters are celebrating what a wonderful idea this is for him to have daddy-daughter time! Such a nice guy! Grrr.

Thinking of you, Ava, and wishing you a successful surgery with a relatively easy recovery!

I hope you’re having warm weather, No Sugar; even though you travelled north.

We expect to see you on roll call today, G-man! Woot!