Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hugs to you Slo. You don't seem supported by your husband. Focus on you and build bridges to a life YOU want with people who build you up instead of tear you down. YOU deserve it!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sunny & hot as hell at the moment but hearing thunder in the distance so maybe a cool down is on the way!

Slo, for the love of God - I’d be flipping out big time if my husband or anyone pulled a move on me like that! WTH is wrong with him anyway? I am so sorry you are being treated like this, it’s not something you or anyone deserves. It definitely IS a controlling & demeaning move on his part! If your daughter really wants to spend time with him, fine. But I have to wonder why it would be OK with her to have him treat you that way. I am very sorry & wish you a peaceful resolution.

G, CONGRATS to you on your 1000 AF days :welldone:
Life is so very different now without that ball & chain around your neck. Keep moving forward always!!!

I have no problem with carrying my own AF drinks with me so at least I can stay hydrated, haha! After all this time people don’t look at me as some kind of weirdo for not drinking. It’s a shame society hasn’t caught up with the growing non-drinking trend. Stick to your guns kids LOL

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

CONGRATULATIONS, Mr. G! A grand is a BIG one. Remember the 100 day thread? And we talked about getting four digits? You RAWK, and I'll agree with Lav. Your posts are different and radiate positivity. I hope you are doing well in the music realm and dating realm as well!!

SLO - that is one hundred percent a dick move. I am so sorry he treated you like that and it is so shitty that he is making it seem like a grand gesture for his daughter. I guess you can take lemons and make them lemonade - maybe change your flight and go visit a good friend somewhere? Take the alone time at home to redecorate YOUR way? Or just enjoy the alone time and relax. I'm so sorry he is being this way.

Kensho - I'm very happy for your son - that he seems to be more confident in being his authentic self. I'm sad for these kids who feel the need to keep it in for so long, but at least he has you to help keep him safe.

NS - I never heard that story - that you were on Byrdie's beach before. That is so fantastic. Maybe she's in the background of a photo you took!

Happy SOBER Thursday,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Not as hot & humid today, what a relief. I’ve never been much of a summer girl & I blame it on my norther European ancestors, Lol

Pav, hello to you & hope your day was good!

Slo, I’ve been thinking of you since I read your post last evening. I hope you are OK but I am mad about the way you have been treated.
I like Pav’s idea of changing your return trip & visiting a friend somewhere. Certainly something to think about.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

G!!!!! Happy Grand + 2 or 3 by now. It can be all about you for a minute. We all get our time to shine.

Slo - ugh, that is really messed up. I'm so sorry your husband is treating you so poorly. You don't deserve that (nobody does). Please don't let his behavior deter you from your dream vacation, even if you have to take it a bit in the future.

Kensho - love that your son felt comfortable enough to come out. The tide is turning on that front and we will not be forced back into any closets. Your son is in a strong and proud community who will support him all the way.


Gotta run for now but will try to hop back on later tonight!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ok I'm back.

Slo - I agree with Pav and Lav - is there a way you can take the reins on your trip home and turn it into something positive for yourself? I'm angry for you as well. He's really being an ass, and I'm sure none of this feels good to you at all. You have my heartfelt sympathies :heartbeat:


I've been watching a show on Netflix that our Aussie friends might know about: it's called Offspring, and it focuses mostly on the lives of 3 adult siblings who live in Melbourne (I believe). Anyway, I saw an episode last night where the main character goes out for a night on the town with friends to drown her sorrows after her relationship ends. OMG, it was almost triggering to watch her stumble and stagger about. As I was watching this part, I kept thinking, "no way - she's totally over-acting this, it's unrealistic" while simultaneously thinking "I've done that, and that, and that..."

Ugh.

It's important to remember the many faces of al when we are tempted. The temptation almost always comes in the form of something innocent and non-problematic, like social ease in conversation at a party with a drink in hand, or toasting a friend, or relaxing at the end of a long week. The reality is that even if we all didn't have stumbling staggering al-induced events, we all did have ugly episodes or we said/did things that we regret and/or are ashamed of. Those parts are hard to revisit or acknowledge. And I don't think it's necessarily good to dwell on them, but periodically going, "oh yeah -- THAT'S why I had to stop drinking" can be a really good thing to do.

I'm so glad I stopped drinking. I'm so glad you all did too.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

It's important to remember the many faces of al when we are tempted. The temptation almost always comes in the form of something innocent and non-problematic, like social ease in conversation at a party with a drink in hand, or toasting a friend, or relaxing at the end of a long week. The reality is that even if we all didn't have stumbling staggering al-induced events, we all did have ugly episodes or we said/did things that we regret and/or are ashamed of. Those parts are hard to revisit or acknowledge. And I don't think it's necessarily good to dwell on them, but periodically going, "oh yeah -- THAT'S why I had to stop drinking" can be a really good thing to do.

I'm so glad I stopped drinking. I'm so glad you all did too.

Right on Wags! Well said.

Now, where's that spotlight? Check 1,2. testing o.n.e.....t.w.o. tap tap....is this thing on??!

Thanks everyone for your congrat's and kind words. Pav, yep i remember the 100 club and some convo's. Actually i was thinking about the 100 club yesterday and how it was a real focus and milestone for me. It's a big number and i hit it a few times. 1000 was a long way away. But here i am. Time would've passed with or without the fog of booze so i might as well be living it up in a fully conscious state, feeling the feelings, and remembering everything. I can say it's a lot more fun and far less stress. I suspect we have absolutely zero idea of our actual potential and possibilities. The growth potential is real and actual.

Take care there Slo.

Friend Kensho. Your son sounds like he absolutely Raaaawks! Like his Ma.

Have a bewdy out there y'all and take it easy.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Thanks for that reminder, Wags. It is so true. I drove a drunk teacher home on Wednesday night after the end of the year party - he was funny and fine to be around (if a bit talkative...), but I was SO GLAD that wasn't me. I was SO GLAD to be the driver and not the drivee. AND I had a wonderful time, dancing, laughing and hanging out. It takes a bit more to get me there and out of my comfort zone, but I can get there...

I am headed up the coast for a no-electronics weekend of relaxation. I am so excited! See you all Monday.

x
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters from the soggy east coast, ugh!

Solid rain all day, what can I say? Better than being super hot & humid I guess.
We have a bumper crop of strawberries coming. In so I baked some into scones which are pretty darn good. I found a low sugar recipe & made it dairy free so I’m happy

Wags, I am done with the ugly episodes, there will be no more for me. I decided 12 years ago nothing & no one will make me give up my quit. That’s final!!!
Hope you have a great weekend!

G, getting closer to 2000 every single day, yay!!! Stick to your quit, no matter what & you’ll always be happy & proud.

Pav, I’m glad you were the driver too & not the drivee. Isn’t it a HUGE relief that you never have to be in that position again. Have a great weekend!!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

G - great words of reflection on your 1000+ days thus far. Yep, the time will go by whether we're drinking or sober. We will certainly remember more and regret less with the latter of those two paths. Now onward and upward for you!

Pav - I'm glad your colleague didn't drive. Good for you on having fun without booze. I hope you have (or had probably by the time you see this) a wonderful weekend.

Lav - sorry to hear you're soggy! We could sure use that rain out west. Fire season has already started and it's only June! Your scones sound yummy - what a great use of strawberries!


Ok everyone, my big test is Sunday morning. Send all kinds of positive vibes. I feel well-prepared and am ready to rock it. I've been reminded of several really good things that will help me better relate to what my students go through on their tests, and I'm very happy I'm doing this. I also wouldn't mind just having a weekend off instead

Have great weekends everyone!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest. I have limited time ATM. But need to check in. My husband and I are visiting his brother and wife in CA. Beautiful, colder than expected. But he brought SO much alcohol, not remembering that I don’t drink. Felt badly reminding him, then didn’t feel badly. I also am struggling with having to eat all different things. I both feel I’m a bother AND it’s hard because there aren’t good markets without a big if a drive. Just trying to focus on what I need to do for me.

Want to comment more later… I’m on a phone and being summoned.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Saturday evening greetings Nesters,

The rain has stopped & the sun made an appearance around 4 pm ~ better late than never. My daughter & her family are camping this weekend, glad they won’t be getting soaked.
Btw - the frozen strawberry puree cubes work great in a smoothie so I will be making more of them as the fruit ripens.

Wags, all this sogginess is causing havoc in my gardens. Last evening I found a couple of 5 ft tall sunflowers leaning way over. Got them satked up for now until the ground dries outa little. I truly wish I could share this moisture with you west coast folks. Good luck on the test, we’re with you in spirit

Kensho, traveling when on a special diet is not easy. I feel your pain & hope you can find something suitable for yourself. Try to enjoy the company anyway

I have re-discovered frittatas lately. Wish all these fresh eggs & veggies we’re growing all I do is add some non-dairy cheeze & pop it in the oven - yum. I put a layer of thin sliced potatoes on the bottom (that I sauté first), delicious & I can control. The amount of salt in the whole dish which helps my BP.
Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Friend Kensho, hold tight mi amiga. I had the same dilemma when i went vegetarian/gluten free travelling through Sth America. I am lucky in that i don't become physically sick or in great discomfort when i eat processed food or junk filled with.....more junk. I remember being between flights in an airport for hours and absolutely starving. There was nothing, i mean nuthin' to eat bar vending machine fodder and...............Duncan's hotdogs or whatever the chain is called. I said give me 4 with the lot amigo, I'm starving! Around $80 bucks later due to airport prices and no nearby competition, Duncan had me by the ^%#%! I took a photo of my mustard stained shirt, a casualty of the G man feeding frenzy. I live to tell the tale, but that may not help you! Is there salad anywhere? Wild lettuce or fruit? Might be an opportunity for a 24 hr fast? Hang in there legend. And you are not a bother. You. are. legend.

Big waves to evabody.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, I feel your pain :hug:.
My back-up food is nuts. If you can eat those high-calorie nuggests, at least you can avoid feeling so hungry.
I hope you have fun despite these challenges!! NS

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest, from a foggy northern CA beach. It’s magical here, no booze required or desired. Husband decided to get wasted last night and kept me awake not feeling good. I, on the other hand, woke up during the 5 o’clock hour to walk the foggy, starfish-laden, peaceful beach with BIL, SIL and dog. SO. AMAZINGLY. BEAUTIFUL. I usually disdain getting out of bed before 7:00, but this was worth it. SO glad I’m not wasting these moments being hungover!

LAV, I love smoothies because I can throw all sorts of food things in them. You remind me that I can freeze probably any fruit before it goes bad. Thanks for the tip!

Wags, I am thinking about you and your test. I hope it gives you great insight. I missed your reason for taking it… is it continuing Ed? Good to do something different? Look forward to hearing about it.

G, your mustard-stained shirt made me giggle. I am finding plenty to eat, even if it’s not my typical choice. Keeps me on my toes and affirms my commitment to my health and balance. I realize I should have had a conversation with BIL before coming. I was worried about being s burden, but they are MORE worried now and would have liked to accommodate me more, had they known. Good lesson in asking for what I need. And I’m not super picky… I just need a few foods that don’t hurt me.

I can hear the waves and happy birds, and not much else and it’s very peaceful. Hugs to all. I would not be soaking up these moments with such gratitude and clarity if I had not chosen to live a sober, clean life, nor if I didn’t have you all. Thank you.