Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters,

just wanted to pop in after a long while to say hello.
i've been mostly ok, not drinking, but still have terrible binge periods with drinking and overeating.;(
i feel like i'd like to join you all here again..
great things going on in the Nest as usual..

reading back a bit this evening.
i've missed so much!
xoxo life..

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sunday evening greetings Nesters,

LC. Wonderful to see you, just hop back in the nest & catch up! We’re all ears as usual so if you need to gripe or moan or anything we will listen

Kensho, glad to read you are enjoying your trip to northern California. We’ve been there twice & love that my brother lives there.
Eating can make me or break me too - I relate. Glad you are finding what you need.

Quiet day here with just us oldies, no kids present this weekend. Lots of clouds but no rain so I’ve been running in & out to pull some weeds, pick strawberries & some blueberries too. Freezing will definitely be my method of preserving all this wonderful fruit.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

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As you know , I’m a native North Carolinian So is Michael Jordan. I heard him in an interview saying that he had missed 1000’s more shots than he made. He said the key to success is FAILURE. I wrote that one down on a sticky and put it on my bulletin board. I sat with that idea for a while and as I went through various scenarios in my own life, I can attest that it is absolutely true. In my sales career, I’ve lost my share of deals, but I’d have never made any of them had I not tried. Failure is part of success. I couldn’t have gotten sober without some “in your face” failures. I learned something from each and every one. Today, I find it true in my chocolate-making. Every flop teaches me what not to do. I seized a whole batch of chocolate yesterday using a food coloring that apparently, contained some water (not on the ingredient list). It was a bitter lesson, but I won’t do that again.
I’ve read that sticky note 1000 times over the years, usually after a failure. I know that a success is around the corner, I must be patient and let it happen.
Kensho, I have a tricky gut, too. I feel your pain. Good luck with it all. It’s ALWAYS a challenge on the road, but that’s the last place I want to have a problem! Good luck to you.
G man, congratulations on 1000+ days! Just incredible! I’m just in awe of you and your positivity and I’m busting with pride for you. I’m sorry you got hosed on those hot dogs. Those airport prices are criminal.
I hope everyone had a great weekend and are gearing up for a wonderful week ahead. Stay strong, it is so worth it.
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - what a great update from you from NorCal. Your early morning beach walk sounds wonderful -- certainly FAR better than drinking and then feeling sick. Glad you're finding enough you can eat, and even better to have learned about asking for what you need. You asked about the test I took today -- I do test prep tutoring for a living. My focus is helping people who have to take an admissions test like the MCAT or GMAT in order to get into an MBA program or go to med school. It's been a long time since I last took a test like this so I signed up for one and took it this morning. My primary motivation was to get reacquainted with what my students feel and experience as they prep for and then take such high-stakes exams. I also wanted to learn experientially what the current testing platforms are like since all of the testing is done through remote proctors (someone watching you through your webcam and controlling your computer so you can't cheat/share/copy etc). I figure all of this will help me be a better tutor. I'll share more about how it went down below.

Byrdie - I LOVE that MJ quote. I have already copied it down and will be adding it to the mix I use with my students. Thank you!

LC - great to see you friend. I've thought about you countless times over the past weeks and months, and I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I'm glad you're here. Please pull up a twig and stay for awhile.


My test went great! I feel confident that I did well, but the far more important outcomes are the things I learned and/or validated about what and how I'm teaching my students. I was able to test out several of the strategies I often suggest that students try, and I discovered that some of them are even more helpful than I'd realized. I will be better able to explain the benefits now that I have recent experience using them in true testing conditions. I also realized I hadn't been emphasizing the importance of taking at least one full practice test under the exact conditions they'll have for the test. Like, wear the same clothes, use the same pencils, eat the same breakfast, etc. Tiny unexpected glitches can add up to really impact focus. The test I took allows you to have 5 pieces of scratch paper, and I've been practicing with a notebook. For the real test you can only have individual loose pages, and I discovered today that loose papers are hard to manage when you've got a fan blowing on you cuz you're hot flashing. It wasn't a huge deal but a little annoying and easily avoided if I'd known in advance to adjust my fan angle slightly before starting (you can't leave the view of the camera once you've begun).

Anyway, I'm done and I'm really glad I did it. Proud of myself for doing something hard for no reason other than to learn how to be better. Thank you all for being there in spirit with me!

Hope you all have wonderful weeks. Catch you again tomorrow!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for the test-taking tips, Wags. I'll be sharing those with some nephews who are taking tests soon!

What a great way of looking at failures, Byrdie. We can learn so much from them.

Glad you enjoyed the peace, Lav. I'm looking forward to some of that next week.

It is good to see you, Life (I like that nickname - you deserve the best one full of self-love and respect). I think of you and your daughters often, hoping you all are well.

Vacation hasn't exactly been relaxing but it has been a ton of fun so far.

Let's all have a guilt-free, alcohol-free week! xx, NS

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Welcome back, LC. I am sorry you've been bingeing. It must not feel particularly great. I am very very glad to see you back.

Kensho - wouldn't it be funny if we walked passed each other on a CA beach this weekend? It has been a cold spring out here for sure, but the CA coast is so, so beautiful. We had a nice and relaxing time. The place we stayed also keeps chickens, so we had fresh eggs every morning, and they also have an organic garden you can pick from so we had fresh veggies every night. No TV or electronics - all in all VERY relaxing and just what the doctor ordered. I hope you have a great trip. Lav, I thought of you when we got to go get eggs and feed the chickens. They are such funny animals...

Wags, what a good teacher you must be. Those sound like grueling testing conditions. I can't sit still for that long - I think the remote proctor thing disadvantages squirmy, ADHD-type people, right? It is great that you put yourself through that experience, and now you'll be even more helpful (sorry it took a weekend day!)

Byrdie, I use the longer version of that MJ quote with my kids all of the time. It is a great reminder. Some elementary classrooms have a poster First Attempt In Learning... Seems if we re-frame it, it isn't failure at all, but one step towards getting it right.

NS, I hope you get some relaxing time. Mr. G - Howdy.

Happy SOBER Monday,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday evening Nesters,

Nice to read happy reports from everyone
I am finally getting myself back into some crafty work, have a craft show coming up on the last Friday of this month & also August. It will be hot I’m sure but they’re evening events.

Byrdie, thanks for the quote, it certainly applies to all of us! Each quit is a practice until we get it right
Sorry about the chocolate mess up, we live & learn I guess. Your candy works are absolutely awesome, keep going.

Wags, nice job on the test & going to such lengths to help your students. They are very lucky to have you fighting for them!

NS, are you going to need a vacation after your vacation? Haha!!
I don’t think I have the energy for big groups anymore. I’m becoming more introverted with every year that passes.

Pav, glad your weekend was good

Has anyone heard from Ava? Wonder if she’s had her dental surgery.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone. LC, that includes you :hug:

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

PAV, I wonder if I am near you It would be SO cool to connect. The temp is cooler than I thought it would be, but beautiful. The smells here are so amazing! Earthy and briny, but also spicy… I could live in this state.

G, I am considering a polar ocean plunge tomorrow am before we leave, in your honor. I just want to feel alive. They have all been partying and I just went on a 4 mile run. They woke up from their naps and asked how I had the energy to do it. I told them that aside from putting really good things in my body, not drinking has done wonders. Their bodies are very busy detoxing and metabolizing poison, while I am out enjoying the ocean!!!

Wags, sounds like a great experience! I’ve never heard of those tips before… makes sense!

LC sending you hugs, glad you’re here.

I have kitchen duty and must run.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, hats off to you. At my peak level of fitness (high school), with great practice, patience and perseverance, I ran 1 mile. It was awful. My legs hurt, my lungs hurt, my teeth hurt. How do people do it? Great work on putting foot to pavement.
Wags, you are a profile in courage. I’m as impressed as I can be. You are an amazing person and an awesome teacher in every way.
LC, so good to see you. Keep it going!
Slo, I hope you are hanging in, some days you just have to show up. Hugs to you for what you are enduring.
Hot and humid here in NC. Our water temperature is 78° so not a polar plunge! Head over this way, Y’all!
Wishing everyone an easy day! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

All sun no rain today, yay!!
I believe my grandkids have all finished up their school year so I’m interested to see what’s next for them.

Kensho, glad you are getting the most out of your trip! I’ve never been a runner but I do enjoy waking up with a healthy liver, haha!! You just may end up influencing someone there, you never know

Byrdie, I keep getting weather alerts for Rodanthe because my son has vacationed there a few times. Is that anywhere near you?
A dip in the ocean sounds like a good idea at that temp!!

Thinking of Ave & Slo. Hope things are good for them.
Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

G, I am considering a polar ocean plunge tomorrow am before we leave, in your honor. I just want to feel alive.

Polar in CA in summer? lol. DO. IT! You are spot on Kensho. You will feel alive. Heard of the '5 second rule' popularised recently by Mel Robbins? 5,4,3,2,1, GO! The concept is we follow our instinct/intuition for something healthy or a necessary task in 5 seconds before our mind talks us out of it. lol. It's true, and a good technique to remind us to just do it! In the winter sea here, i note it takes my body around 30 seconds of discomfort before it adjusts and then i'm fine. I avoid laps/long swims without wetsuit this time of year though, as after around 20 minutes i'm a gittin' cold. But wow, wait till you see how u feel afterwards. Do. it. How cool would that be to meet Pav?!

Wags, your attitude to your work is outstanding and top notch. Your students are lucky to have someone who gives a damn and walks the talk. :thumbsup:

LC, great to see you mi amiga! How are things? Are you sticking around the joint? No stress. We have to walk our own path. Hope to see you again.

Yo Byrdy. I'm failing my way to success! How's the baking?

Big waves to evabody.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey everyone, happy Tue/Wed! Thank you all for your kind words. I've been feeling really good since I finished the test on Sunday, and I'm already using what I learned. In 3 weeks I'll receive my score and I've got fingers crossed that it'll be the icing on the cake.

Kensho - sounds like a wonderful trip.

Byrdie - 78 degree ocean water sounds enticing!

Ava - haven't heard from you recently, were you able to have your dental surgery? Hope all is well and I'm sending you strength and speedy healing vibes.


Hope you all are having good weeks!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

78 degree ocean water sounds heavenly, Byrdie!
Yes, becoming AF is something we try and fail at as we learn how to change our lifestyle over to an AF one.

I’ve enjoyed hearing about your vacation, Kensho, and how you’re dealing with all the drinking and navigating your special diet etc.

I’m wondering about Ava too, and think she must be healing from part 1 of her surgery.

I’m back now from the family reunion, and it was so much fun! What a beautiful place Zion National Park is! My sister-in-law (I can still call her that, for a little while yet...) was so thoughtful and brought me a 12-pack of NA Heineken beer in her car, along with the regular beer for the other people! I was so thankful as I couldn’t bring any on the plane realistically, and couldn’t find it in Utah. It’s nice to be taken into consideration! The scenery was so beautiful, and I even managed a decent-sized hike with this knee, now strong from biking and fresh off of physical therapy! That felt so good to be able to participate some, even though I couldn’t go on the more treacherous hikes with the others. Our daily meal when everyone gathered was generously catered with delicious food. The people are so nice. I have been part of their every-5-year reunions since 1996, and it will be a loss to no longer belong in the family, and no longer be part of the reunions. They will be shocked too about our divorce. It sucks. So many ancillary losses. But I enjoyed everything about this vacation to the fullest!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters..

running off to work now. I'm going to give all of my effort to make this a day one. For weeks I've been promising myself it'd be "today" and then sometime midday I decide on "tomorrow".. so I'm pulling out all my old tools to make it today. My plan is to check in here directly after work then go to the gym as exercising always helps to keep my mind in the right space. After that I'll make a healthy dinner, check in here again and stay put. There is no reason for me to go to the store today! So I won't!

Thank you for all the kind words and support.
xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

So far so good!
Heading to the gym before my mind talks me out of it! I called my man (a new love since December:heart:!) and asked if I could stay at his place tonight.. he's a non drinker and knows I don't drink and the reasons why. He doesn't know about my secret binges.. but we never drink together and I love spending time with him so I thought it would some good reinforcement for this late afternoon/evening. Found a beer hiding and poured it out. Trying to stay positive and not beat myself up. Reminding myself that if I don't have to continue on the path I've been on. It's so exhausting and demoralizing.
I have been able to openly speak to the girls about it.. they've of course been witness to my struggle. I told them I can't promise I'll never drink again.. I've said it so many times and nobody would believe me.. but I said that I would never ever give up trying to quit and that I would give all of my effort to do each day.. part of which is coming back to the Nest. The only little silver lining is that they are both hell bent on never drinking, never even trying alcohol and they have supportive friends who are totally fine with that.. who even bring them al-free drinks (like your sister-in-law, Slo) to parties and to play drinking games. So maybe our long line of familial alcohol addiction will end with me. I sure hope so.
Hugs all around...