Newbies Nest

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Not had time to read back, life is going at a fast pace and no rest for the wicked.

All going well here, plodding along as the weather gets colder. Work has decided they want me back two days a week and i keep thinking that it is winter, this is NOT a good time. ice on the windscreens most mornings, traffic horrendous so i leave early. no desk at work and now i cant find my computer BUT they want me back two days a week. I am grateful however that i kept up starting work at 5 or 6am during my work from home so i am not dragging myself out of bed. Carl does miss me but my son has moved back home so he now has Cardi to keep him company. Im hoping my son moves out as that spare room that i want as an office is an elusive dream as my boomerang kids keep coming back.

LC, nice to see you back. As Byrd says, i wish i had of given up drinking 20 years ago.

My sons friend who was in rehab is now 2 and a half months clean and has a part time job. he keeps telling me how much better his life is and its so lovely to hear. i do keep a constant eye on him and reinforce that i am here if he is struggling. another friend i helped is now over a year sober and is seeing a psych for his childhood trauma. im starting to definitely realise that past trauma's have a significant impact on people becoming addicted to some substance. I am happy that i have worked on this and now accept it for what it was, shame i didnt do that twenty years ago also and kept it inside for so long.

The PA at work is leaving in two weeks, we kind of job share so i am worried about what work they will try and throw at me. i cant physically or mentally do anymore. she leaves a few days before i get my dental surgery so there will be no one there to carry the team. Me thinks they need to take better care of the admin support.

well back to the grind, i will read back later but thinking of you all as i do every day. take care xxx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you all for letting me come back to my twig! I'm velcro-ing my butt on it.. who used to always say that? Byrdie?

I wish all the nesters who flew the coop and are still struggling would come back!

You know, there probably are many ways to keep a quit intact. Former MWOers who used the site to quit and then left because they didn't need it anymore undoubtedly are out there and many of us probably know of someone. But I suspect there are even more who gave up the support and accountability also gave up their quits.

So although it is only ONE way out, a mechanism that we know works because we have several examples right here and on a couple other active MWO threads is to stay connected. That doesn't mean you'll always be involved at the level that is needed in the beginning, and your level of involvement will ebb and flow over time, but not completely cutting yourself off might just be the key. Even if you relapse.

Our Mr G is a shining example of this. He hit a few rough patches over the time I've known him but he NEVER LEFT US ENTIRELY. He stuck with his goal and allowed us to be part of his journey and look at him now -- continuing to protect his more than 1000 days. And think of all the people he has helped and inspired as he shared the ups and downs of his path to freedom. I can't speak for him of course, but I bet he will be around MWO as long as the site continues to exist. I hope so and I hope he'll be joined by all of us, no matter how many AF days we've lived. xx, NS

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good to see you, Ava :hug:. Your neighbor is an idiot, Byrdie - Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! Have fun away, Pav. Isn't it nice not to worry about temptations?
Kensho, I'm cheap enough to wait to get home for my massage to use my gift certificate (and to know the standards of the business in terms of staff vaccinations).
Hi to Lav, Slo, Wags and anyone else I missed but cannot remember what they wrote because my vacation brain is MUSH!!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Thunderstorm watch in effect here so I hope I have time to say hello to all & wish everyone a safe night in the nest!

NS, I totally agree with your assessment of Byrdie’s neighbor, haha!!
Ava, hang in there, Good to see you
Hello lC, Pav, Wags & everyone.

Take care all :hug:
Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

It was rather cold out today here, so heat relief is coming your way, Lav! Not so for Wags though, I guess.

You have a good plan laid out, LC.!

Strawberry shortcake and lasagna dinner turned out just fine for our Father’s Day gathering. HB & daughter arrived home from their travels without me on Saturday night.

Today is our 35th wedding anniversary. How awkward does it get?! But I wrote him out a nice card, and had a steak & potato dinner with wine and AF wine for the three of us (young daughter too) to celebrate the milestone. 35 years is a feat in itself that deserves to be celebrated.

Thanks for the recommendation, NS! I need something new to watch. That’s one long vacation you are on! Hopefully it feels like home away from home.

I love that quote, Byrdie -and have never heard it before. Regarding the neighbor: well, you did ask! Maybe he or she watches a lot of the shows where they critique peoples’ baking projects, and got influenced by them into thinking that’s the kind of feedback you wanted?

Ava, I agree entirely that trauma and especially childhood trauma is a major driver of addiction. Genetics and epi-genetics may load the gun, but trauma pulls the trigger.

That’s too bad that your husband is upping his drinking again, Kensho. He’s probably looking forward to the next vacation, for an excuse to drink more.

I leave Friday for an out-of-town wedding, Pav. I really like to drink at weddings, so it will be a bit challenging to try to have fun there without it. But I have been practicing at that, and am getting better at it.

Sweet dreams, Nesters!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - I sure wish the cooling you mentioned was coming our way. I'm scared that it's this hot and dry in mid-June, as that suggests we might have a horrific fire season.

NS - I agree that staying connected, even as participation here ebbs and flows, is super helpful. I know full well the shame folks might feel if they slip up and drink - that happened to me in 2014 and I drank for 2 more years before managing to quit again (and rejoin here) in 2016. But now I'm coming up on my 5-year quit-a-versary and there's no turning back. If anyone is out there lurking please check in and say hi. We care about you and are here to support.

LC - sounds like a great weekend, even if hot and exhausting. Congrats to you!

Kensho - Those are some great shows to inspire travel (or sub for it during times like the past year). I hear you about the stress that actual travel can bring, even when it's something you really want to do. Try to focus on the benefits of the getaways and cut yourself some slack on being human if you don't get every desired thing done before you leave.

Ava - great to see you! I hope things smooth out for your return to in-person work. Poor Carl will have to adjust to your absence! Were you able to get your dental work started?

Byrdie - well that neighbor is just plain rude! Too bad there isn't a place here in the nest where you could drop off some of those extra chocolates for all of us to enjoy and rave over. Isn't there a book or a movie where people can lick pictures and taste the actual treats? Maybe in Willie Wonka or something like that? Anyway, don't pay her any attention. I'm sure there are countless other people who would eagerly line up to take her place on your recipient rotation.

Lav - stay safe during the storm!


Hellos and waves to G, Pav and everyone else stopping by the nest!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie… you’re world class to me. I 'm beyond impressed with your chocolates. They look professional. Your neighbor may regret her criticism.

LC your plan sounds great.

PAV, so glad your family is fun! Nothing better than a get together with people, than a get together with people you love!

AVA, glad to see you. Sorry you’re having to drive in the early winter mornings to work. You are a good support for your son’s friend.

NS, I love hearing your voice and wise words. Yep, I would wait too - massages are expensive! Something to look forward to!

Slo, great statement about trauma. My husband had quite a bit of it growing up - more than I’d realized. I was so lucky. Not sure why I became addicted. I went through some hard things, but not necessarily trauma.

I have planned the work for my two weeks - and it includes some working at night. The thing is… I don’t want to. I used to force myself to stay up to get things done, but then I drank to get through it. So I went to bed last night. I will have to be productive today!

I wish you all could hear the birds this morning! They are like a choir!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Had a full day of rain today, not that we needed it or anything. I wish some of this rain would fall on the west coast where it could do a lot of good right now.
So I stayed in & worked on some craft stuff & made some delicious sourdough, gluten free oat flour waffles for dinner - yum

Slo, I hope the kindness you have shown your husband is returned in some way. I think he may not know how good he actually has it but will find out soon enough if he’s on his own. 35 years is a long time, I’m coming up on 48 years on the 30th, a lifetime :hug:

Wags, it’s currently 67 degrees here & heading down to 50 tonight - yay!

We had no storm damage last night but I’m seeing a lot on the news in areas not far away. Scary having a giant old oak tree crash thru the roof of your house, geez.
Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pretty wiped out tonight so just flying by to check in sober and say hi to everyone. Have good days and nights nesters and I'll see you all again tomorrow.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Lovely Nesters!

each day I've been wanting to write more and respond but I'm sooooo tired.. (catching up with me, all those restless nights after passing out.. you know what I mean!).. plus tons of work, last days of school (yayyy!!). It's cooled off here at least, for a couple of days it looks like. Hope you get some relief up in the NW, Wags! We're were in a similar situation with high temps and no AC.

so I'm plodding along happily AF.. last week this time I was doubting I could get through the day with out a drink. I said, "you just have to get through this day", which I thought was so sad.. Just wanting to get through it. This morning I thought, I get to enjoy the whole day, every minute! Even with a pulled muscle in my neck and a 9 hour work day!:happy2: So glad to be out of that terrible hole.

big hugs to you all!xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Git it LC.

Byrdy's creations are the best!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

At some point the very sad and deprived "I can't drink" changes to "I don't have to drink" and that is when the freedom really begins! Of course, we never HAVE to do it but when you're addicted, it sure seems like that is the case!! The horror of triggering that response is one of the main things that stops me in my tracks when the thought of having a drink crosses my mind. I never want to feel so controlled by a substance again.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I am adding myself to the list of people for whom absolute acceptance was the key. Every time I thought about drinking I thought first about how I felt the weekend I quit. I was so low, sad, depressed, dejected and out of control - and I NEVER want to feel like that again. There is no chance I can drink again and have the life I want. For whatever reason, that option is not available to me (as it is to most people). Now I have to live my life according to that. Some people can't eat strawberries, or need to inject insulin. I just can't drink. And we're lucky because the payback for not doing that which is so bad for us is SO GREAT. There are so many things on the list of positive outcomes I have experienced since quitting...

I am even GRATEFUL that I don't drink at weddings now. I really do enjoy myself, dancing, socializing, and I feel fine in the morning. You'll get there, Slo.

And Byrdie, your neighbor IS an idiot.

I probably won't be checking in from this little trip, honestly. I am leaving my computer behind and I am not good with the phone. Hope you all have wonderful weekends and stay healthy. See you in the middle of next week.

x
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest. I saved a snapping turtle from the middle of the road this morning.

Screen Shot 2021-06-23 at 12.05.35 PM.png

PAV and NS, I love your statements about acceptance. Totally agree that I would never have the life I have now if I were still drinking. I feel sorry for that theoretical self and am so glad I chose this reality instead.

Have a good day everyone!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

NO rain today, yay! We’ve had wall to wall sunshine for a change
Nice to be able to take a walk around the yard without getting wet feet hahha!

Wags, hope your day was great!

LC, what a difference a week makes, right? I’ve said all along I don’t know if I have another quit in me so this one had to be the last. Keeps me humble & staying on plan. I am happy for you!

Hi G & NS - members of the Never Again Club!!

Pav, I hope you thoroughly enjoy your disconnected weekend. We’ll be happy to see you back next week

Kensho, I help animals out too. It’s not their fault that we drive on the roads they have to cross. Hope your day was good.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav