Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’ve been seeing turtles like that on the bike trail.

No biking today as I’m just too tired this week as I await the full moon to pass.

Got up to help daughter with Mabel & Beckett yesterday. Lots of dishes and laundry. Got the kids bathed. It’s so much fun snuggling that newborn!

As I’m older now, I am seeing more the effects a lifetime of drinking has on people. It can catch up to them. Like son-in-law is traveling on Friday to his friend’s father’s funeral. He was a fun guy all his life apparently, hosting parties and lots of pool parties -but now he died of liver failure from alcoholism at age 55! He was warned a couple years ago that he would die if he didn’t stop drinking, but he chose to keep drinking.

But WE are making the other choice!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - great turtle save!

Slo - sounds like a wonderful day with the little ones. Sorry to hear about your son-in-law's friend's father though. That's really sad.

Pav - hope you have a fantastic computer-free getaway.

Lav - I don't think I have another quit in me either so I have to make this one stick!


Well, we made it over the hump of another week nesters. Seems like folks are doing pretty well, even with some ups and downs. Have good nights and days everyone!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Slo, i hope the wedding goes well. i had a chuckle when you said you liked drinking at weddings. i liked drinking anywhere but weddings are an excellent excuse to get blotto. i didnt need an excuse at the end, i just did it. Yes 35 years is such along time, im glad you at least had a nice meal. Oh newborns are so snuggly and they smell so new dont they. That is so sad about your SIL friend. My brother would not stop drinking and died at 46, i think some people have the strength and determination and stop and some think it will never happen to them and some just dont. I never thought i would become an alcoholic and then i didnt think i could stop but i am so grateful i googled (drunk of course) if i was an alky and found MWO. The ultimate stupid for me was seeing people come into hospital with al related seizures or medical issues and i still thought it would NEVER happen to me. i know i am special but.........

The PA left on WEdnesday, the day of our meeting so that has been fun. they dont have a replacement, they have ME. i did tell them i am not rescheduling my dental surgery and i will be having a week off.

Wags, dental is booked for 9th July and will be 5 hour surgery. I keep telling people this may be the last time i see them. thats my anxiety having fun and i have never had a general before but i am really looking forward to it. a coworker even said it may entice her to get her teeth done. she is my age also, we need to be able to smile!

Acceptance and being grateful were the key factors. i didnt get the being grateful bit but i found one thing a day and i really wasnt grateful for that but i kept at it and now i am grateful everyday in my 7+ years for waking up sober and being able to face whatever the day throws at me. drinking is not in my equation ever, i cant and i wont ever drink again, i hate al, i hate seeing what it does to people and how it destroys peoples lives. never did i think i, the two bottle of wine a day drinker would ever hate alcohol.

well best get back to work, but trying to check in every couple of days. take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well Ava, I am grateful that all of you found MWO in just about the same way I did. I’m sure none of us ever thought we would become addicted but we did. There is a way out of that life if you want it bad enough! I had experience detoxing men in a hospital ward my very first year out of nursing school, it was awful. I certainly never envisioned myself getting into that condition. We live & we learn, right?
Try not to worry about work too much, focus on what you need prior to your dental surgery. General anesthesia is like a good sleep, honestly

Wags, I’m watching your heat wave, sorry. We have one beginning here on Monday but we all have AC so we hid inside as much as possible. Take care.

Slo, so nice you got to see your grandkids & help out with the chores. I love babies too.
That’s sad about your SIL’s friend & his family. No one should die that young from something that can be prevented. It’s impossible to understand people’s choices when they make no sense.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
May not be posting tomorrow as I’ll be out of here before 4 pm & not home until pretty late after the craft show. Hope some people come out to enjoy the festivities

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings to everyone in the Nest,

Lifechange, you are doing so well under challenging circumstances! Hope you can get the sleep you need to keep soldiering on.

Lavande, I hope the craft fair is an enjoyable experience for you tomorrow, and people enjoy your creations. Good luck!

For some reason I thought your dental surgery was in June, Ava. Yes, good to remind work of your upcoming surgery & recovery.
I did love to drink at weddings! And yes, an excellent excuse to get blotto! Then time would flow and go fast. But I don’t want that desperation to get my next fix anymore -and the next & the next & the next & the next. I need to be inspired by Pavati, and learn to enjoy weddings without a drug!

[MENTION=1354]narilly[/MENTION], how’s your MIL doing?

KENSHO, I don’t envy you having to squeeze it all in between family summer vacations. Good luck with working in the late evenings without overdoing it.

Here’s another one: I used to love drinking with my ex sister-in-law. She is British, and she introduced me to wine and wine culture before it even hit here in the states.
During the years when I struggled to quit drinking, I avoided getting together with her because she was too much of a drinking trigger for me, and I wouldn’t fit in with her & her wine anymore. Then she moved away.
Now it turns out that her second husband, at 70, is full-blown alcoholic and she said she needs to get him into rehab because she’s afraid of losing him. Although she doesn’t understand that world, and doesn’t realize that it won’t work if he’s not on board with it! And I think, after decades of wine happy hour, that she, at age 60, may have her own dependency problems; she only wants to talk on the phone to me during happy hour time, and then starts to not make sense.
So I’m seeing that chronic habitual drinking catches up with us later in life if not before -and even to people who I never thought would have a problem with it; who seemed like such sophisticated drinkers.

I’m happy with my choice to quit!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - I thought your dental surgery was in June too! It sounds like you've made peace with the whole ordeal and that you're focusing on the positive outcomes you'll get to enjoy. That's fantastic!

Lav - I hope you have a wonderful craft show in all ways. Is this the first since pre-covid days?

Slo - that's really sad for your ex SIL's 2nd husband, and it does indeed sound like she might have some problems with al herself.

The talk of weddings is interesting for me and it has given me reason to do some reflection. I've never really liked weddings, I think at least partly because until recently that was something people like me in the LGBTQ community weren't "allowed" to have. We had no legal recognition of marriage or partnership, and many of us didn't feel safe being open with others about who we loved. Having a gathering to essentially announce our commitments and ask others to support our relationships was impossible to imagine, let alone do. I chose not to attend quite a few weddings, and when I did go I turned to al to get me through everything. I didn't have the wherewithal or resources to deal with the sadness or pain, so I chose numbness instead. I am so grateful that the world is changing and love is winning, even though we still have a long way to go.

Take care nestmates and I'll catch up with you all again tomorrow

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi old (not in the ages sense) friends. I've been away for quite a while. I'll have to read back more, but from what i have seen, you all seem to be doing well.

I have been working with an addictions counselor for the past months and also attending a zoom group meeting every week. I am doing better but it is still a struggle to stay completely AF.

I woke up today knowing that this day has to be the end of the road. I always loved the true support this group gave and felt like i need to return to be able to get back to the truly 100% AF version of myself. Life is changing, daughter will be going off to college soon and boredom is my biggest enemy. Work has been a saviour the past 6 months, but the second half of the year things are less crazy, however i am hoping to move into another role.

I really want this AF life again. Totally AF and grateful for it. In the group i attend, even though it is not a 12 step group, one member brought up the fourth step "making a complete moral inventory" of ourselves. At my age that would take years, but it raised a great discussion and i might give it a try.

When i do drink, which is not often, it is usually so knee jerk that i barely know i'm doing it. (well i do, but that is how fast i do it without any forethought). If anyone has any suggestions for a quick STOP action in those situations i would appreciate it. I do think it is my last blockade to complete sobriety.

I plan to hang around more now. This is a great group of support and truth and i really need it now to get over this last hurdle

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters!

Welcome back, Belle!:happy2:

So day 10 here and I'm beginning to feel good again. After a difficult week of having a sore neck (pulled muscle) and not being able to sleep well, I woke up today without pain and slept an additional 4 hours! during the day.. went to the gym and saw that I've lost 3kgs of alcohol and binge eating weight. I'm so happy to be back on track. Going back to being a real newbie is helping me a lot.. even though I didn't post each day this week I read and had all of you in mind during my day.
Preparing myself each morning with a plan, promising to check in here every day, not going to the shops if I was feeling tired/hungry/unsettled, feeding myself healthy food.. Belle, like you, I tend to be someone who just begins drinking without any forethought.. one minute I'm happy (or not), going about my day and the next I'm buying alcohol as if on auto pilot.. I don't want to do that anymore! I think slowing down and going back to the beginning steps is helping me to become more aware of my actions.. more aware of possible triggers or even just subtle feelings/thoughts that have led me to thoughtlessly buy/drink..

Lav, have a great time at the craft show!

Wishing everyone a lovely AF weekend.. :love: xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for the welcome back, LC. It looks like you have had your struggles too, as i remember you from before. 10 days is awesome. I think i have made it as far a five on many occasions. But i am checking in here at 9pm on a Friday night, sober. Tired, but without drinking i should have a good sleep tonight.

I am reading "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace. The point is to change your 'unconscious' thinking into not wanting AL. We all here know that our conscious minds want to quit the AL, but it seems like our unconscious minds have not gotten the message.

It's pretty quiet around here tonight. Perhaps Lav is still at the craft show! But regardless i need to check in and be accountable.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Gidday pardner's!

Welcome back Belle. Always great to read your posts. The end of the road for AL, and the beginning of a misery free life of mind peace, contentment, joy, achievements, connection. From this day on there are no limits. The only limits for me are always self imposed. No-one else can do it, no environment, no other people, no external forces. I've discovered rebuilding my life is an inside job. It's really up to me. Go kick some ass pardner.

Good to see you Ava. Yes, you are special of course. And your smile is warm and amazing as it is. Good luck with the op.

Sis Slo, it's not uncommon is it to look around and notice people starting to get into trouble with their health after years of drinking poison. Not surprising either. Cause and effect. For every action there's a reaction, consequence etc. When you look at average lifespans let's say around 80 plus, then dying around 50-60 is far too young and a lot of life missed. We are giving ourselves another chance when we commit to living as our best selves. Taking care of our attitude and perspective is a huge factor. Starting with an attitude of gratitude every day aligns ourselves with some long existing Laws of the universe that will work with us bringing to us what we want. Just my experience.

Wags, you make an important point about not having the wherewithal or resources to cope, so chose numbness instead. An understandable response which describes my former equation. Like as LC mentioned - auto pilot. So true. Good approach with the stop, slow down and think it through/examine the thought/feeling LC. I've learned (and the science is in) that we reprogramme negative behaviours with new healthier behaviours we do daily. Daily repetition is known to install a new habit/program/routine. And when we are onboard with the new program emotionally, i.e. we love it and it feels good, then the science say's our subconscious will make the shift.

Good luck with the Arts and crafts gig Lav. Are you selling a lot of stock? Some T shirts? 'Short on gratitude? Time to git you some Lavitude!'

It's only friday see? It's not a freakin' ticket to no whackyassed boozeville, you dig?'

Big waves to all.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - great to see you, welcome back! Is there any particular place or time you tend to impulse (or knee jerk) drink? Like at home in the eves when everyone else has gone to bed (or house is empty)? Or after certain types of days, or while/after talking or being with certain people, or anything that you've seen as a pattern? I'm asking mainly because if there is *anything* consistent about your impulse drinking, it'll be easier to construct an "interrupt" of sorts to change the path you're on toward a drink. Do you keep al in the house? If so, get rid of it. If other household members aren't on board with that, then put it somewhere that's hard to access and then put a note to yourself in front of it. Make sure the note is persuasive. The main idea I'm suggesting is to make sure there's more time between the first moment you shift toward having a drink and actually having that first sip. This will make it more likely you engage your conscious mind and let it help you choose differently.

LC - congrats on Day 10 and on seeing/feeling progress!

G - great points about the positive impacts of gratitude, and how daily repetition can help us reprogram or rewire our brains and our habits.


In Wagland, we are MELTING. We are officially under a heat emergency warning for the next 10 days. It's supposed to be 115 degrees F Sunday and Monday (46 degrees C) and we don't have air conditioning. Most people in this part of the country don't actually. Send ice! Or cool breezes, or dreams of frolicking polar bears, or whatever you can think of. I'm so glad I don't drink - it's even more dangerous than usual in weather like this.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Send ice! Or cool breezes, or dreams of frolicking polar bears, or whatever you can think of. I'm so glad I don't drink - it's even more dangerous than usual in weather like this.

PolarBear1_DSC6873-Rick-Pepin.jpg

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you so much Wags and G-Man. Always love reading your posts. So much wisdom G-man and you know how to put it out there! I will have your post on speed dial when i need a boost!

Wags, you are right. Your post made me think about the times that trigger the knee-jerk response. It always seems to happen in the early evening. I found where my husband hid his booze. Time to fess up and tell him to move it somewhere else. I thought of putting a skull and crossbones note on it, but that just may attract my 18 and 21 year olds to it. haha. Hubs is not a good hider, and i am a great finder! But here are some trigger times. 1) when i've worked a long day and have no dinner plan. 2) my fibromyalgia is making me feel like crap. 3) too many people (kids and friends) in my house...makes me anxious. and the fourth one is a doozy. 4) after my weekly AL zoom group meetings. Yes, one would think that would give me pause, but it seems to make me think too much of AL. Perhaps i should quit the group. Telling the facilitator why would be awkward.

I know from my previous 'big quit', planning weekly meals so i did not have to think about it every night, and had any ingredients on hand so there were no last minute trips to the store, helped alot. I should contact my doctor and see if i need a med change for my fibro. And having the kids at my house is a good thing because at least i know what they are doing...but i have to find a way to carve out my space in such times.

Wags, sorry to hear you are scorching there in the upper NW with no air conditioning. That makes it so hard to sleep. I hope that weather passes quickly...but don't send it here please. We do run our a/c daily due to high humidity here in the mid atlantic...and it gets pretty hot (90s) almost daily in the summer.

Waves to all. Glad to be back in the nest. I am clutching a twig looking for my old piece of velcro.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

well did some work yesterday but it is what it is at the moment. i decided long that i will plod along to get things done and not stress. i know when i leave this place i had better get a good parting gift ha ha. I did go and look at places yesterday for my son to rent and took Carl for a walk. we have had some crappy days with rain so its nice to get out in the brisk fresh air.

my surgery was June but due to us being locked down it is now 9th July at 1pm. have the children lined up to pick me up and to look after me, payback time for them but they dont mind. im looking forward to the outcome just not the pain afterwards.

LC, good to see after ten days your sleep is returning. your comment bought back memories of the deep tiredness i felt for weeks and the constant headache i had. Now i get occasional cases of the deep tireds but that is due to menopause and lack of hormones.

Belle, lovely to see you back. always have a plan, always, always, always. i know i thought about ever situation and every response before i went anywhere. nothing was going to interfere with my quit and if something/someone tried to i would remove myself. would you automatically drink poison as it was there? No and remember al is a poison to us. I always thought i would be bored when i stopped drinking but i watched so many doco's on alcoholics and read lots of threads on here, just to get it into my brain that i didnt need to drink. The only thing you need to do on a daily basis is not drink. You will look into yourself when you are ready, took me a year of sobriety before i started on the why i drank and what it did for me. I used to hide in my bedroom if the house became too much. if anyone wants you they will track you down and we all need out ME time.

Wags, that is sooooo hot. i dont have air con and when it gets that hot (not often) i just put the fan on me. i did buy a water cooler and that was a great buy, no more bottles in the fridge waiting to cool down. i am thinking of you as that heat is oppressive.

G, hope you are doing well, we will have to do lunch when my teeth are done so Steady and yourself can gaze at my smile!

Lav, i hope your craft stall went well and you made lots of money and chatted to lots of nice people.

Take care xx

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

165885107_434801060924684_4085254038167475374_n.jpg

A recent of my Carl,