Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Today is supposed to be the last day of heatwave #4 - sure hope so! We just had an hour of thunder & maybe half a dozen drops of rain. I don’t think that counts as a storm, we shall see.

Wags, hope your bike ride was pleasant

Slo, I had to laugh - mine is occupying his own room too & I’m not cleaning it or the bathroom he uses either haha!! He gets to live with his choices LOL
I hope your grandson settled down so you could get some sleep.

Nothing special going on here. I hope everyone has a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - welcome home, hope you had a great camping trip. Were you near any of the current fires? Or see the damage left behind by any of last year's fires? We just learned that one of our favorite camping areas survived last year's fires unscathed, so we're hoping to get down there in a couple of weeks.

Mr G - sorry to hear about your hearing. I would think that as a musician it would be especially difficult to have your hearing start to diminish. I don't have any advice or experience on this, but I hope you find some good options that fit your lifestyle, needs and comfort zone.


Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by the nest. Hope you all are having great weekends!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

I am thinking of you Steady during this very sad time for you and the family. If you need anything please let me know.

Pav, ive had anxiety forever, apparently had it since i was a child and as an adult dealt with my anxiety as i did as a child, not very well. now i take zoloft and always try not to worry about things i have no control over, which is a lot. I still have it but its a lot better than it used to be and here i thought drinking helped it. OOPs i was wrong also.

Wags, nearly 5 years, what a wonderful achievement. i was saying to someone today that i will never drink again and it feels good to say that. i know i dont have it in me again to stop if i start but we just never know really. cant wait for the celebrations.

Belle, just ignore hubs and keep doing what you are doing. There is nothing and no-one worth drinking AT.

congrats on your 31days LC. As pav says a major part of keeping sober is being accountable.

Slo, so happy to see you standing your ground with hubs. we definitely seem to get stronger sober, no more guilt shame or remorse for us.

Lav, glad to see your BP is settling down. my BP is low, not sure why with the stress of my job. its annoying as i start to go all fuzzy feeling on occasion. Dr tells me to eat salt.

G, go and get your hearing checked. i know mine isnt as good as it was but i dont mind missing out on some conversations!

glad you had a lovely break Kensho, we cant seem to get anywhere or we get there and cant get home.

I worked most of last week, spoke to my boss and i dont have to use my sick leave so that is great, not so great i didnt get any time off. Still no person to replace the PA so another week of hell. Next op on Friday if we are out of lockdown. This is becoming a bit repetitive. My daughter came over on Friday as she called me sobbing due to our current lockdown and told me she felt worthless. i spent the day with her which was most needed and she seems a bit more positive now. I have worked all through lockdowns so it has not affected me but i can now see how working, being in a routine then it all stops is hard. i am going into work tomorrow so will catch up with her. My teeth are so sensitive now, they must be in shock after having all that plague taken off! i hope they eventually settle down after this next lot of work.

Managed to mow the lawn today which was good, i do enjoy the rewards of a lawn mow and i have a rechargeable lawn mower and whipper snipper and highly recommend both of those.

time for the fur babies tea. take care xxx

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo, I can't help but feel like your husband is enjoying holding power over you regarding divorce or not, crib or not, sleep here, not there. Just remember that you get to create your own reality and set boundaries for the type of relationship you want and deserve. He does not get to control that. I feel for your situation. I just read somewhere someone saying that in relationships "you have to end up fixing yourself, and then things work themselves out". I think this is exactly what happened between me and my husband. Once I decided what I was going to create for my health and happiness, everything changed. Please don't forget your power.

LAV, I can only imagine heat waves in your humidity. Hope it wasn't too bad.

Wags, we didn't see burn area. It was, however 90 degrees in Ouray at 8100 ft. elevation. Strange. We found the "bathtub" hiking trail, where the river pools into small waterfalls and swimming holes. Visited that three times! So glad to hear your camping spot is unscathed!!

Ava, sorry your work and lockdown are heavy right now. Such a bummer, but you seem able to find the small pleasures and keep balanced. Glad your teeth are all good, and I suspect they will even out with sensitivity. They seem to do that to me too after work done. Glad you can say you will never drink again. Marvelous!!

I have some hearing loss too G. No advice here though.

Quiet Sunday here. Going to walk the dog and get groceries. Starting work in earnest tomorrow, and the heat has been turned up with projects. I like my job, but have really enjoyed the down time!

Have a good one everyone!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo, Please don't forget your power.

So true friend Kensho. Take care over there Slo. It can be helpful to remember that we have control over our direction and actions. I check in on myself daily every morning via some basic journaling and meditation/breathing. This check in is my anchor for the day ahead. I write my intentions for today. A simple list of 1,2,3 things usually. Today my intention is to be of service to others with kindness, and be the best man i can be.

Thanks all for your input on hearing. It's not real bad, just a few frequencies have gone missing, understandably as a raaawk musician. It's not like it's disappearing rapidly or totally. Hey Pav, are your hubby's hearing aid/s discreet? i.e. can u see a big block attached to his ear?! Glad they're working for him. As a bloke still in the singles market, i'm a little (over) mindful of my appearance lol.

Big waves to all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well the heavy rain made an appearance last night & it `did break up the heatwavE, thank goodness. I’ll still be a lot happier when the frosty weather gets here haha!!
Daughter & granddaughter came visiting this afternoon, nice!

Wags, it’s great to hear your camping area was spared. Hope you get there soon!

Ava, anxiety has been my twin sister all my life too. My father made life unbearable for all of us & we all got out as soon as we could. But that stuff sticks with you, right?
Sorry you’re not getting any time off for your dental procedures, doesn’t seem right. I hope the lockdowns ends soon so you can get the job finished.

Kensho, I have to agree with you - taking back your power from a bully is a big deal & a necessity. I hope Slo & anyone else in that position knows this & takes the steps!
I hope your workweek is easier than you imagine

G, there are so many reasons for hearing loss & they’re not all due to external damage. Genetics can play a role as well. Get someone to check your hearing soon, be pro-active. There are so many nearly invisible hearing aids on the market these day, you would be surprised. My husband never was able to get any due to the nature of the damage he caused on the shooting range. Good luck!

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all, just popping in for a quick sober check-in. We had a little bit of sad news today. I just received word that my uncle passed away this morning (not covid-related), and I want to reach out to multiple family members to help send support to my aunt and cousins. Even when someone is unwell and is "ready to go" I think it's still heartbreaking and challenging for those left behind.

Take care everyone, and hug your loved ones. I'll catch up with you again tomorrow.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! It’s a good morning for me, because after a full weekend with a boy toddler, a baby, a daughter, and two extra dogs here -I get to have peace & quiet! I am so glad that I am no longer in the position of a young mother trying to handle small children and everything else relentlessly. And, I’m glad I never had boys. That Beckett is a handful! I have to get more toys for him here. Mabel is such a sweetheart. Such a chill, smiley baby! It was a really good weekend with family. Just grateful to be a grandma now instead of a mom, and hand them back!

I’m sorry, Wags, that you have the sadness of handling another death in the family, and spending your day off kindly reaching out to help the other family members cope. It sure puts life in perspective.

I have lifelong anxiety too, and starting in early childhood also; for similar reasons. And that’s why we all fell into drinking so much of that anxiolytic drug -to cope with our chronic anxiety. I have to be maintained on an antidepressant as well -Lexapro in my case.

Can’t believe you didn’t get your time off work post-surgery, Ava! Hope you still healed fine.

Lav, that’s hilarious that we’re in the same boat with the husbands! Well, if we didn’t laugh, we’d cry.

Thank you for all your wise perspectives that you shared RE my impending divorce (?) I’d like to know what’s in his head so I know whether or not to get more serious and put some money down with my lawyer or not. Hate to rock the boat the wrong way though.
Such wise words, Kensho, about becoming empowered and taking back my own power, and healing myself, and then the imbalance of power in the relationship will be righting itself too. I am trying. I need to focus my efforts a little better. Maybe add in intentions like G says. It is so good to have the support that I am on the right path.

Belle, I hope you’re hanging in there. You’ve been doing great at navigating through the rocky parts of your day.

Pav, hope you had a restorative and mostly screen-free weekend out in nature.

Hi to LC, NS, Byrdie, and everyone else!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Wags, sorry to hear of your uncle's passing. Condolences to you and family. Take care of yourself.

These are slightly crazy times amid covid madness. In some ways probably not a lot crazier than life before, if i look at the history of politician performance around the globe. Still, there has been much loss and stress this last year or so everywhere. In such times i remember the old cliche - Don't focus on what i can't control, but on what i can control. And that is me.

Slo, sounds like a beautiful time had by all.

Big waves to evabody.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

No rain & not too awfully hot today, needed that break!
I feel less anxious now that my BP seems to be stabilizing but i still need to make that Cardiology appt. I hate being so dependent on medications but I guess that’s the way it’s going to be. I’ve put a lot of effort into living healthier but it hasn’t helped.

Wags, so sorry to hear about your uncle’s passing. No one is ever truly ready for the news, it’s always a loss. I do feel some gratitude though if they had been suffering & lingering too long. No one wants their loved ones to suffer. Thinking of you & your family :hug:

Slo, I hadn’t realized how much of my power I ‘gave away’ over a number of years. It was & usually is a slow thing, little by little your power slips away until you realize you’re stuck in a bad spot.
I am forever grateful to have climbed out of that hole & refuse to allow anyone to disrespect me now. Women fall into the ‘peace keeper’ role without ever applying for the job if you know what I mean.
I raised one girl & one boy. My son has the two boys & they just about ruined me when they were little, haha. I’d watch them for a full day & end up completely exhausted!! They are 12 & 10 now & much easier to be around, Lol. Stay on your path, you’re doing great!

G, the news is full of Covid cases, going up just about everywhere. Now it’s being called a pandemic of the unvaccinated, how sad is that?

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

G - I love your reminder. It gets overwhelming to see the problems around the world - but I can focus on what I can control.

Easing back into getting up early and doing work. I sure did love getting 10 hours of sleep each night!! But all vacations must end. I'm driving my 15 yr. old son to his lifeguarding shifts, and trying to balance my 11 yr old daughter's demands for my attention. Even though the skies are smoky, the birds are still chirping this morning, and there is much to be thankful for.

Have a good day Nest!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I'm BAAACK. We had an amazing, relaxing, screen-free weekend. Lots of fun, no booze for me (and one other). I don't want to go back to work this morning...

Kensho, welcome back. I really like your advice to SLO. Slo, take your power! Don't let him dictate how it will go...

Wags, sorry about your Uncle. It IS sad whether or not it is "time." You have had a lot of loss this year. I hope you got a good bike ride in on the weekend.

Ava, teeth! I have recurring dreams about losing my teeth (when I am feeling powerless - come to think of it, I haven't had one in a while). Hope you heal quickly and get some time off this time.

Mr. G, the hearing aids are pretty discreet. When he changes a battery in public or something people say they've never noticed them. Of course I understand the dating piece. Why don't you at least take a trip to the audiologist and see what is going on?

Off to work. Happy SOBER Tuesday,
Pav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everybody,
Good to be not hungover on a Tuesday when I have tons of things to do. First thing checked off the list...washer repair to the tune of $400 ��. Now I can do tons of laundry again...yay me. Kids do their own laundry thankfully.

As for all who asked about relationship between me and hubby. We were drinking buddies quite a while ago because he was a "collector" of fine wines and still has about 100 bottles or so in a wine cellar at a friends house about 400 miles from here. that is a good safe distance. lol. But now he will pull out a bottle of wine to cook with now and then and shares some with my 21yr old son who can actually leave some in his glass. This does not bother me as long as any leftovers get dumped or put out in the garage. It is almost like he cannot hold it (drinking) over me any more so he has to find other ways to mark his superiority. I see lots of his father's traits (not good) coming out now that he is getting older. I noticed that his mother did not shed a tear when his father died about 5 years ago. Now that he is back to the office, it is a bit better. I don't think he misses drinking with me or anything like that. I just don't think he really cares about me any longer, and that is fine with me. I would love to move to a place of my own when my kids are more established in college or whatever.

And some of you had mentioned sleeping separately. My husband snores like a banshee (whatever that is) and I am a light sleeper with fibromyalgia and I need all the good rest I can get. Being AL free helps a lot in that area. For years he has not addressed his snoring issues so I moved myself to the downstairs "suite" where I have the bonus of having my own bathroom. And my adjustable bed. And nobody flip flopping around when they momentarily stop breathing due to, I am pretty sure, sleep apnea.

Enough of that. I hope you get your hearing checked Mr G. As a musician you need to hear the awesome music you are making!

Wags, so sorry about losing your uncle. The older we get, the more people we lose from our lives, and it never gets easier.

I'm pretty much working with the same weather Lav is dealing with ... so as far as weather I can say "ditto" here.

Really busy getting kids into appointments for almost everything...before they go back to school. Plus the added work of getting daughter set up to move into a dorm and freshman stuff that she has to do.

As someone here says "I have too much shit to do today to drink". Ain't that the truth.

Gotta go...have to catch up on laundry, take daughter to get her computer fixed, pick up son at work and go to work myself. All at about the same time. No problem...I can clone myself. lol.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest

Just back from time with my parents. I is hard for me to sit so much but am glad to be able to spend time with them again. Last year was so hard on everyone.

Before buying hearing aids, Mr G, you might want to try a professional flushing. My mom had that after spending THOUSANDS on the aids and didn't need them nearly so much after an unbelievable amount of gunk was removed :egad:.

I gave up most of my power while I was drinking addictively because I felt so guilty and unworthy. I felt like I didn't deserve to have anything my way. It is great to hear of you all regaining your self-respect and remembering (or learning!) your worth. If someone doesn't value you, it's probably not a relationship worth keeping, unless they can change. None of us should take being treated as less than we are.

I'm home alone tonight. I used to ruin nights such as this, drinking myself into an early sleep. Tonight I plan to enjoy the time with me (and our dog).

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We keep getting poor air quality alerts due to the smoke from the fires in the west. Apparently the particles are making their way to the east coast on the jet stream. The air actually smells smoky, looks hazy & burns your eyes . Staying inside as much as possible because I can.

NS, hope you are enjoying quality time with your doggie

Belle, I sent my husband off for a sleep study more than 15 years ago. I was sure he had sleep apnea but he was told he just needed to lose some weight. He’s probably gained 50 lbs since then. That’s nothing you can force on someone so he’s made his choice. I really hope your husband & son are respectful of your choice to give up AL.

Pav, welcome back, glad you had a great time away

Kensho, getting back to work after time off has always been rough, you’ll do just fine I’m sure

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav