Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest. Busy few days behind me, a couple quiet ones, and then another busy spell. So grateful to be able to handle it.

The raising kids stories brings back memories!! Frankly, I was so glad when our daughter went to college (and she was glad to go to say the least). After a couple years we all grew up and now, in her 30s, she's a best friend. I have a younger friend with teenage daughters and she loves it when I and other friends my age tell her stories about the ridiculous things our kids did and lived through and admit that we sometimes didn't like them very much (although we always loved them). While you're in the thick of it, it is hard to imagine that they will evolve into cool, likable adults but it turns out that most of them do :smile:.

I agree with you, Kensho. I want to DO something, not just fret and whine. It is so hard to figure out how to contribute (other than financially but throwing money at problems, doesn't seem like enough).

I sure wish I could have ordered chocolates from you, Byrdy, but I understand the shipping problems. I just purchased fancy candies for a wedding shower I am helping host and despite the $$$$, they are not as pretty as yours. I hope they at least taste good!! On the other hand, I was able to hire Lav for some embroidery work and as you would expect, she did a fabulous, quick, job! Lucky for me, thread doesn't melt in the heat!!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

We’re still enjoying a few pleasant days here before summer returns but I won’t brag, haha!! I really enjoy all 4 seasons but I have no tolerance for the extreme heat & humidity we’ve been getting. I’d love to join the bandwagon on doing something about these extremes but what can we do?

Wags, wishing you happy biking

Kensho, I am fortunate enough to live near the Mushroom Capital of Kennett Square, PA, Lol. There are tons of growers in the area & we can buy super-fresh mushrooms cheap!! they’re a good source of potassium (among other things) so I use them quite a bit.
When you figure out what we can do to help humanity, please let me know. We seem to be destroying the planet & one another at the same time
I’m concerned about my grandkids going back to school as well but it seems like the schools have gotten their sh*t together to make it as safe as possible. Schools have always been such germ factories I hope all the kinks have been worked out.

NS, I’m so happy I was able to help with your project! I’ll tell you one thing that really helps is clear communication!!!! So many times people have requested things assuming I ‘just know’ what they wanted. I never could read minds very well, haha!! Thanks for the opportunity to be of assistance
There MUST be some way Byrdie could ship her chocolates - maybe pack them in dry ice or some such thing?

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m cooking up some mushrooms to go with dinner tonight! Love them.

No, I don’t think it would be safe to ship Byrdie’s chocolates in the kind of heat she’s having. We’re quite temperate here for the last few days, and the AC is off!

The dog just ate the rest of my homemade brownies, so no more chocolate fix for me. Grrr.

Still can’t seem to talk myself into riding my bike! My get up and go got up and went.

The funeral was nice and very meaningful. It was his lifestyle choice to be a “lifelong alcoholic”, as his son put it in his eulogy. It gave him lots of enjoyment. Although it also likely contributed to his chronic health problems over the last 10 years that were not very enjoyable. And likely contributed to the heart problems that shortened his life. It’s a personal choice that we all have to make.

My former sister-in-law wants to get marriage counseling with her current husband in order to have the counselor convince him to go to rehab and give up his daily gin & tonic habit. And she wants to talk to the counselor about how she can enjoy wine with dinner without needing to drink the whole bottle. But she doesn’t think she could ever enjoy dinner without wine! Then she wants to continue their marriage with him no longer drinking, but with her still able to enjoy her daily wine in the late afternoon/evening.
Yikes! She has a lot to learn about the nature of the beast! Like that it will have to be his choice whether or not he quits drinking, or it won’t work; and that moderation will probably not work for her because she won’t be satisfied with less! But these are the things we have to learn for ourselves.

Anyways, I’m glad I’m on the other side of all that! Have a safe night in the nest.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - sorry to hear the dog got your brownies, and I hope your pup is ok from the chocolate! It sounds like your former SIL has quite a bit to learn about what it takes to truly moderate and/or to maintain a quit (for her husband or for herself). Even if the counselor might not participate in exactly the way your SIL envisions, maybe they can help shed some light on the true challenges.

NS and Lav - you're making me want to come up with an embroidery project to seek help with. I'm sure your work is wonderful Lav.

Kensho - our air quality isn't too bad here right now but we're truly bracing for things to get worse. As for what to do to be the change you want to see, I think there are three levels to think about. One is your personal lifestyle or choices: learning more about climate-friendly actions you can take every day. Second is your circle of influence (friends, family, neighbors, colleagues, clients): engage people in conversation, help others increase awareness, model good choices, etc. People's behaviors and opinions are significantly shaped by those they interact with the most. Third is contacting companies and government officials to let them know we their constituents and consumers want them to make climate-friendly choices or we will take our dollars and votes elsewhere. Call, email, tweet -- whatever is your preferred method. Especially in capitalistic countries like ours, it is these big entities who can truly shift our human impact on the environment.


Great day off bike ride here today. My wife is still building her endurance but she's doing great. Unfortunately, my dad fell and hurt his hip so now I've got extra "parent your parent" responsibilities to shoulder. This is such a hard role to have in life and I wish there was better support in the way of education/information and then systems and services.

Take care everyone!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Maybe we should all go visit Byrdie to sample chocolates. That would reenact that dream I had a few years back where all of us showed up at a party at her house on the beach!

Slo, booze and relationships are difficult. It's definitely each person's choice. I, personally, would not risk my health for the fleeting pleasure of booze. I get so much more genuine, lasting enjoyment from life now without drinking. But I wouldn't have known that without quitting.

Wags, those are really great ideas. I've done all of them from time to time, but not many of them recently. Thanks for the reminder. It's easy to feel powerless, but we are not. You make a big difference in your dad's life. It sounds hard, but its also amazing that you can be there for him as a sober person.

I had a challenging day with a magazine publisher yesterday. I am donating time and money to design a room in their annual show home. But the builder has been making changes and decisions and not communicating them well. Must-use vendors we are expected to use have also not been forthcoming until late enough that I have to re-work. I spoke up and got a backlash. It shouldn't bother me, but I feel gaslighted. I'm a team player, and don't expect to make all the decisions on a group effort, but I DO need to know what the decisions are so I'm not shooting in the dark. She forwarded my email to others basically calling me a complainer and saying that they were doing ME a favor. Ug. I think I smoothed it over, but I am not happy with the entire endeavor. I just hope I can get some good end photos. AND it benefits the Alzheimer's Association.

My daughter also cried and cried again last night. It seems really confusing to her that I'm home all day but can't give her more than lunchtime and a walk during the day. She wants me to stop for an hour and play cards or do a craft. I have a stressful job that happens to be at home. When I was little, my mom left for work between 6am and 6pm. Every workday. At night, she was working on dinner, laundry, etc. We watched a tv show together and always ate together - but I didn't expect her to entertain me and it was obvious because she was gone all day. I am here, so she thinks I'm ignoring her. UG!

Anyway, another brilliant day to live. I'm going to move forward with positivity! Best to everyone!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still enjoying some decent weather here, yay! The heatwave will be back soon enough.

Slo, your SIL’s story sounds like something we’ve all been thru -wanting to learn to moderate after crazy drinking. We all learned that it just isn’t possible for 99.9% of us. I hope she figures it out too at some point. My energy has been coming in tiny spurts, haha so I get done what I can & don’t worry about the rest at this point.

Wags, sorry about your Dad. Go on the Medicare website & check out the services they cover - home PT, home care/companion depending on his need level. You shouldn’t have to do everything yourself. I hope he’s betTer soon :hug:
Maybe we can talk NS into putting up a pic of her project. No pressure NS, Lol

Kensho, when you’re working with a team communication is vital!!! Some people just are not good at that, sorry.
Have you looked into any online camps for your daughter. My granddaughter (she’s 10) has done several this summer, keeps her busy & happy. She just did a baking camp last week, made all kinds of goodies completely on her own. She’s done science camps & art camps too - just a thought!

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone.
Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Lav and y'all,

Kensho, you are one of the most balanced people i've ever met. Some people jump the gun and go with shallow unresearched/unevidenced off the handle opinions. These are the complainers and the folk often coming from a place of lack and fear. I've been in similar situ's to what you describe. At first glance, frustrating. But when i put it through my filter, i have a compassionate chuckle and look for a solution to the issue and git er done with a smile (even if it is through gritted teeth lol).

Hope your dad's ok Wags.

Rolling along ok here. I still have a job/income throughout any lockdowns, so no real stress here thankfully.

Love those chocolates Byrdy.

Big waves to evabody. Surf's up!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - thanks so much for the suggestions re: what Medicare covers/provides. I had no idea there were so many options. My dad is a pretty private person and very resistant to medical care, so baby steps will be necessary. I think he can see how much I have on my plate though so hopefully this experience will open his mind to some help at least a bit.

Kensho - that must be hard with your daughter. And *for* her. Working from home has a lot of perks but also a lot of challenges for sure. On a different note, it does sound like you're being gas-lighted. I hope you're able to get through the rest of the project smoothly and with the outcomes you desire.

G - good to see you and glad things are going well.


It's almost Hump Day again (for some it already is)!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, what a great idea!! I didn't think of online camps! School starts soon also, so that will be helpful.

G, what a compliment. Thank you. I realized that the magazine is a newer one, struggling in a low-readership pandemic and is probably overwhelmed with balancing their business. Thanks for the perspective.

Wags, I think that's why it bothered me so much, because my "complaints" were legitimate. I found lots of great things and directions yesterday, and will hopefully finalize another big piece on Friday with a vendor. How's YOUR work going? Are people seeking test prep this time of year?

We have good air quality this mooring! 32! It smells nice and I can see the blue sky!!! I may walk the dog this am just to get out - even though I'm running out to an appointment.

Have a good day everyone. After drinking stops, life begins.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still lucking out with the cooler weather here, grateful for the relief
Forgot I had a followup appt with the Endodontist today. He did another treatment of delivering medicine deep down into my tooth, it feels great & looks like it will stay in place, yay. Honestly, the older we get the weirder things get haha!

G, glad things are going well for you. Life without much stress is a wonderful thing!

Wags, I know a lot of older folks resent needing a little help but if you can convince them it’s just temporary, it helps. I remember we set up Meals on Wheels for my husband’s grandmother decades ago & she refused to let the people in her house to deliver the meals. Sometimes you just can’t help people, especially when they are stubborn. I hope you can find something your Dad will be agreeable to for his benefit.

Kensho, I just found out today my granddaughter is attending a field hockey camp this week 9a-12n daily. She loved playing hockey last year so this is something she was looking forward to doing.
Finding out what a kid really likes helps a lot!! Glad your air quality is improving so you can get out a bit

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Leanwolf]

Re: Newbies Nest

If you figure that out - will you please share (downloading to phone)

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in sober from the way-too-hot Pacific NorthWest. Fortunately we'll get a break in the heat starting tomorrow for 5-6 days. Can't wait. Even our pup thinks it's too hot!

Stay safe everyone.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sounds like some tolerable temps coming for people here.

Ava, how's the dental recovery going?

Lav, my daughter's greatest pleasure is engaging with friends and people she knows. When she doesn't have that, she feels absolutely lost. I, on the other hand, need plenty of quiet time. How does one do an online field hockey camp? - OH!! I see that it was in person. I was amazed.

My morning appointment was made to be earlier today, so I'd better get a moving.

Have a lovely day everyone.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! I am up north now at the cabin; the annual weekend with my extended family will begin today. Unfortunately a gray, rainy weekend is forecast. Drinking will feature heavily, but, three years in to my quit, it doesn’t bother me much. I’m used to my new lifestyle now.

I never heard of those online camps, Lav. What a great idea! And the in-person field hockey camp will give your granddaughter 3 hours of exercise, engagement, and socializing each day this week. Then she’ll be spent and ready to relax at home for the rest of the day. My 11 and 12-year old nephews do those weeklong sports camps in the summertime too: one for lacrosse, and both for soccer. And their 8-year-old sister went to horse day camp for a week.

Glad the tooth is mending well, Lav. Maybe Ava is at 90 or 100% after her surgery by now. Hope Byrdie’s near vision has improved by now after her second surgery.

Kensho, you can’t do your job if you’re not being kept up on changes being made, so I’m glad you spoke up. And they’re not doing you a favor: you are mutually doing each other “a favor”!

Sounds like a special wedding shower you are planning, NS!

Hi to all!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still holding on to the nice weather but another heatwave is on the way. Summer will end soon enough.
No problems with my treated tooth today so I am pleased.

Leanwolf, glad you made it to the nest
I haven’t tried to access this site on my phone for many years, I hope you can figure it out. I dropped into the nest back in 2009 & never left, Lol. Many people helped me get my quit off the ground so I am trying to return the favor. If you can find the Tool box you’ll see lots of great ideas to help you put a good working plan together for yourself. Make the commitment & get started on your AF life.

Kensho, I hope your appointment went well.
Yes, the hockey camp is in person, a bunch of 10 yr old girls having a blast. What are your daughter’s friends doing to stay occupied this summer? Maybe there’s something they can do together.

Slo, sorry you have to deal with all the drinkers this weekend but you are solid in your quit ~ you don’t drink!
I wish my grandsons were involved in some group activity this summer but they’re not. At 10 & 12 they should be doing something useful, oh well.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav