Re: Newbies Nest
Hi, All:
I am sorry I missed so much! Trying to start school in the time of a pandemic is not a cake walk!
Thanks for starting the discussion, LC. Welcome back. YOU GOT THIS.
I didn't read all of the posts, but I did love reading some of the great ideas for LC.
Honestly for me the key to keeping the choice off the table was accountability: coming clean to my husband, my best friends, and my therapist. I went in to my therapist and told her honestly how, when and why I drank and she replied, "you, my dear, are an alcoholic." Man, that hurt, but it was the first time anyone had used that word around me. I continued to see her through the first several months - I committed the money and time to face my truth. I also sat down with my husband and told him everything. He was amazing and understanding, but I did have to reinforce that I could NEVER drink again and if ever, EVER I told him it was ok for me to have just a little he was NOT to believe me. Finally, I oriented my life around me and self care. I hiked a TON, listening the The Bubble Hour podcast - it helped me feel not alone. I found trails I never knew existed. I ate ice cream as an alternative - my Friday night pints became Haagen Daz instead of beer. I soaked in lavender baths during witching hour. I spent hours on MWO reading back, posting, and getting support. I practiced gratitude. I wrote lists of all I gained from not being drunk and drinking. I remember once my dad was in the hospital and my sister and I had dinner with my mom. My sister and mom hit the wine hard and the hospital called to say they didn't have one kind of medicine that my dad needed to take. I was SO GRATEFUL to be sober and have the ability to drive those pills up to them. What if I wasn't??? And I also pushed myself into things that were uncomfortable. Drinking used to get me out on the dance floor at a wedding. I pushed myself back onto that dance floor even though I was more self conscious sober, but eventually I loved the dancing part just as much. And I drew boundaries. If I was feeling the least bit shaky or tired I just said no. That was actually freeing - drawing boundaries is such a good practice even without the booze. And at the beginning, I thought constantly about what I would lose if I continued to drink. My family, my career, my health. And lastly, I really dove into the world of relapse. What were the conditions under which long-time sober people relapsed? How could I avoid that? Relapse starts to happen long before the drinking actually happens. It is a part of the process for some, but not a given. I worked, and continue to work, extremely hard at not relapsing. I think it would be very hard for me to quit again.
Belle and Slo, I am so sorry for what you're both going through. It would be very hard to be in that situation. Remember that being sober brings clarity and strength. Please let us support you in whatever way we can, but also reach out to your in person people.
Hope you are all well. We got this!
Pav
Hi, All:
I am sorry I missed so much! Trying to start school in the time of a pandemic is not a cake walk!
Thanks for starting the discussion, LC. Welcome back. YOU GOT THIS.
I didn't read all of the posts, but I did love reading some of the great ideas for LC.
Honestly for me the key to keeping the choice off the table was accountability: coming clean to my husband, my best friends, and my therapist. I went in to my therapist and told her honestly how, when and why I drank and she replied, "you, my dear, are an alcoholic." Man, that hurt, but it was the first time anyone had used that word around me. I continued to see her through the first several months - I committed the money and time to face my truth. I also sat down with my husband and told him everything. He was amazing and understanding, but I did have to reinforce that I could NEVER drink again and if ever, EVER I told him it was ok for me to have just a little he was NOT to believe me. Finally, I oriented my life around me and self care. I hiked a TON, listening the The Bubble Hour podcast - it helped me feel not alone. I found trails I never knew existed. I ate ice cream as an alternative - my Friday night pints became Haagen Daz instead of beer. I soaked in lavender baths during witching hour. I spent hours on MWO reading back, posting, and getting support. I practiced gratitude. I wrote lists of all I gained from not being drunk and drinking. I remember once my dad was in the hospital and my sister and I had dinner with my mom. My sister and mom hit the wine hard and the hospital called to say they didn't have one kind of medicine that my dad needed to take. I was SO GRATEFUL to be sober and have the ability to drive those pills up to them. What if I wasn't??? And I also pushed myself into things that were uncomfortable. Drinking used to get me out on the dance floor at a wedding. I pushed myself back onto that dance floor even though I was more self conscious sober, but eventually I loved the dancing part just as much. And I drew boundaries. If I was feeling the least bit shaky or tired I just said no. That was actually freeing - drawing boundaries is such a good practice even without the booze. And at the beginning, I thought constantly about what I would lose if I continued to drink. My family, my career, my health. And lastly, I really dove into the world of relapse. What were the conditions under which long-time sober people relapsed? How could I avoid that? Relapse starts to happen long before the drinking actually happens. It is a part of the process for some, but not a given. I worked, and continue to work, extremely hard at not relapsing. I think it would be very hard for me to quit again.
Belle and Slo, I am so sorry for what you're both going through. It would be very hard to be in that situation. Remember that being sober brings clarity and strength. Please let us support you in whatever way we can, but also reach out to your in person people.
Hope you are all well. We got this!
Pav
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