Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I believe I used to talk about life getting lifey - sometimes that's when it is hardest to remember all the good we get with alcohol gone, and we focus on what we miss. I love your list, LC. Keep writing it out and thinking about it. And posting here. Use your tools, and when the craving subsides you'll have strengthened that sober muscle.

Slo, I wonder if you could think of your marriage as having run its course instead of broken. You got your beautiful kids and some good times, and now it is time to move on. Not a failure, just done. I don't want to irritate you by trying to put a less negative spin on it - feel free to bitch away if that's what feels good! And enjoy those baby snuggles. I'm jealous.

Kensho - for sure it is a conversation ahead of time about going out. You are a fine parent, and they can put their phones away, too. Wags, I love that idea. There is no doubt that kids have a different relationship with their phones when we did. I used to just get on the phone every night and TALK for hours with my friends. Even watch TV together with the phone on my ear. Social contacts are so important to kids, and that's what the phone represent. It is such an addiction! My husband and I were looking at these cool bushes in our backyard and saying when we were kids we would have made forts, etc. out there. He said "what were they doing?" Aaaah. Their devices. Sort of sad to me. I hope we can figure them out.

Mr. G, nice to see you. A bromance with Carl is perfect. He needs someone who understands him. I remember when I was having my second kid I was reading about what it must feel to the first. Imagine if your partner came home with another woman - it's ok, I'll still love you just as much. I'll just love both of you. You need to share all your things. She just needs more of my time right now... Etc. It is a wonder those first kids survive. I hope Carl keeps a stiff upper lip!

Belle, hope you feel better soon.

Wags, enjoy your nice, long bike ride.

Lav, Byrdie, stay dry.

Hi to you, Mulberry. What's going on and how can we support you?

Happy SOBER Wednesday,
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest. I've been catching up on my real life the last few days. Child minding was fun but puts just about everything else on hold.

This is a good way to look at things, Pav:

Slo, I wonder if you could think of your marriage as having run its course instead of broken.

It is also helpful to keep in mind that the institution of marriage came about when life expectancy was about half what it is now! It is great when marriages enhance both people and last but no one should stay in a relationship that diminishes them in my opinion.

Your new puppy is cute, Ava, but I'm still in post-puppy trauma mode!! Actually, our almost 8-mo old dog remains a puppy in many respects :egad:

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
very quick fly by.. it's raining cats and dogs here and we've decided to go to bed early.
so happy to be on track..
big hugs all around!xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Here we are in heatwave #6 of the summer. I am so over this stuff, I really am.

Pav, I like your perspective on long marriages, it’s pretty much the way mine changed over the years. You can’t really expect things to remain unchanged over the decades, can you? Working out an agreement that you can both live with is what really counts. I hope the rest of your week is awesome!

NS, Goldens are known to be big babies for a very long time, haha!! At least mine were but they were fun.
Glad you had so good time with the young ones. Rest up now so you can go on with the rest of your life, lol.

LC, glad you checked in & I hope you have a good night!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, NS, Ava and others -- I think some dogs stay puppies most of their lives. Our pup (Jack Russell mix) is 11 y.o. and she still has a lot of puppy in her! She's also very mature sometimes, and I think that has gradually shifted toward the maturity end of things.

Pav - that's a great perspective on marriages running their course. I think that's probably the case for many relationships that end, even if it's hard to see in the moment.


Well, it didn't take long for my tutoring schedule to fill up again. I've already got a good crew on board and maybe room for 1-2 more max. I'm going to try to keep my work load moderate so that I have time to explore developing my own curriculum to sell. Not yet sure if I'm aiming for a book, or a series of video lessons, or exactly what format would work best -- that's part of what I need to explore. No way could I even contemplate this if I was still drinking!

Take care everyone.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Wags - that's exciting and a great idea. You've clearly got something good to pass along as your roster is always as full as you want.

I've been dog-sitting for my sister in law. Their dog is very sweet but she misses them so much and is so out of sorts. I wish I could speak dog and tell her what's going on. Thankfully they'll be back tonight.

Happy SOBER Thursday,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

So incredibly hot & humid here, ugh. I pulled the plug on my plans to do an outdoor craft fair tomorrow. This chicken is too old to swelter out in this heat for 5 or 6 hrs, no way. I will gladly wait for the fall events. Such a sad day for the US military losing 11 marines & a navy medic in a suicide bombing outside the airport in Kabul. Why is there so much hate in the world?

Wags, I love your idea of selling your curriculum, how cool is that?
I know that will take a lot of thought & planning but i also know you can get it done. Good for you!

Pav, now that both of my son’s Goldens have passed on I miss watching them. Remember when I used to call them the Insanity Twins?? Hahha! Maybe the next time you watch her she’ll remember how much fun it was to be with you.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Agree that it’s presently too hot to sit outside for hours on end. It’s fun to dip out into it for a little while though -then back into the A/C!

Yeah, Pav; the poor animals don’t know when or if their people are returning! I wish there was a way to let them know when pet-sitting.

That’s a neat idea to contemplate, Wags! And another gift of sobriety.

I got lots of baby snuggles with my 3-month-old granddaughter! 19-month-old grandson was quite challenging.
Good news that D2 got 5 good embryos from her last egg retrieval for infertility! But all five are boys!!

I guess a long-term marriage has to either morph or end. One or the other. I do know that I’m done with disrespect and being diminished. Another gift of sobriety!

Goodnight to all in the Nest.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - I have often said I wish I could speak "Dog" just for one day. There are so many things I'd like to ask them about! Like, "What do pee-mail messages say? And what are you saying when you 'reply' by peeing there too?" Although I'm sure you're a fantastic pup-sitter, I bet they'll be glad to have their people home tonight.

Slo - I think your comment says it all: "I'm done with disrespect and being diminished." You are not responsible for your husband's choices about whether or not to morph, or how to move through this world and how he has treated you -- you DO get to decide whether to accept or reject that treatment. You are exercising self-love, self-respect and self-care. I'm sure it's very hard though, at least at times. Congrats to your daughter on the embryos.

Lav - good self-care decision on your part too, opting out of the hot humid craft fair.


Hellos and waves to all as we near the end of another week. Stay true to yourselves, and your quits!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Happy SOBER Friday.

You got this, Slo! You definitely deserve respect and being lifted up instead of diminished.

Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening all Nesters,

Kinda waiting for a big storm to break out any time now after all this tropical heat. Happy to be sitting in the AC & not sweating my brains out at a craft fair, haha!
My neighbor thinks she has a murder hornet nest in her tree - I sure hope not

Slo, good for you for watching out for your own best interest! I’m afraid our gender has been brainwashed since the beginning of time. We are the keepers of the home fire & all that but why should we put up with all the disrespect? Stand strong :hug:
Congrats to your daughter on the embryos, how exciting. Raising just one boy was enough of a challenge for me, Lol. I wish. Your daughter the best!

Wags, it was pretty easy making the decision to stay home today. I don’t want to die of heat stroke at a craft fair, haha! Last Halloween I did 2 outdoor craft shows at the same place & it was just perfect, not too hot or cold & no storms to worry about. I can wait

Hi Pav, hope your day was good & your weekend awesome.

Hello to a few who haven’t checked in lately - thinking of Narilly & others.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

You know, Lav, one of the biggest issues of having a hobby is how to get rid of the stuff you make. Those craft fairs are expensive to attend, I had to sell so much to break even, which is about all I ever did. I had one show in a lady’s home that I finally was able to make some money, I made beaded jewelry and there were a ton of folks who did the same. I wish I didn’t get so involved in these hobbies, but alas. Anything worth doing…..this all or nothing personality!
I finally got my chocolate in. I was thinking that I would make a batch today and just wing it. The issue is, that in working with chocolate, it’s all about timing and temperature. Winging it usually results in a poor outcome. It set me to thinking that getting sober was that way, too. So many times I tried, but I wasn’t taking it seriously enough and lacked direction. Having a Plan makes all the difference in everything I do.
Mulberry, hope you are doing well, so nice to see you, just let us know how we can help.
Have a great weekend, it’s onlyFriday, not a ticket to BoozeVille!
Today’s project:
31C527BF-B345-4E03-8B2A-5F203B647863.jpg

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

PAV, I chuckled when you said you played in the bushes. We biked and ran around the neighborhood until at least age 14, playing hide and seek, or just talking. Many kids now seem to struggle having face-to-face conversations. Super frustrating when they end up in service jobs!

Regarding relationships, I tend to view friends as people who build me up, not tear me down. Simple test for people that are allowed in my life Good for you SLO for drawing your line

LAV I was laying in bed this morning reading a National Geographic about women in Saudi Arabia. The boxes that women have been put into all around the world through history are amazing. I feel so lucky to live in a culture that accepts strong, smart women - though there's still work to be done here. Here's to cooler fall weather soon for your outdoor craft fairs!

I'm watching doves outside my window. They love our fountain. The summer has filled in our bushes and trees and we have trickle in sunlight, with a cool morning breeze. Perfect. My husband left to go camping yesterday, and I will join him for tonight with the kids. We had fun watching a movie last night. It's amazing how the energy changes with just one less person - no matter who they are. Just that much less complicated.

Anyway, cheers to this Nest. Please check in more LC, Mulberry, Belle. We are here to support you!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

That’s a great analogy, Byrdie. The decision to stop drinking permanently can’t be made haphazardly on a whim, or it won’t stick. A solid, considered plan has to back it up. Salted chocolate caramels are a favorite of mine!

[MENTION=24679]Mulburry[/MENTION], I used l-glutamate chews early on to help manage the cravings when going off alcohol.

Hope Pav is getting a relaxing weekend to counterbalance the start of school. And Wags is enjoying the last of her week off. KENSHO, school should be starting up for your kids soon?

An 8-month-old dog is still a puppy, NS! You’re still in puppy-mode, along with Ava now too.

LC, I hope you are hanging in there, and enjoying your daughter time before she moves out.

Congratulations, by the way, Guitarista, on getting your newest album produced!

I have noticed Narilly’s absence too, and wonder how she’s doing?

I feel sorry for my HB in that he behaved the way he did for years (the disrespect, the temper tantrums) because that was the example set for him by his father; so that was the template given to him for how to be a man, and he didn’t know any other way to be. Same with his brother. And his mother didn’t put a stop to it either: he was allowed to be disrespectful & have temper tantrums towards her. It’s just dysfunctional family patterns playing out.

It’s time to enjoy an AF weekend in the waning days of Summer!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Pretty damp here & still humid but it is cooler. Rain showers off & on all day but not a big deal. Our southern coastal states are preparing for a huge hurricane, bless them.
I haven’t accomplished much today but that’s OK

Slo, I have always held certain family members to be examples of exactly what I don’t want to be. That included my dad & older brothers & all of my husband’s family. Way too much dysfunction of all types in that group.

Kensho, I’ve always felt blessed living in the US. The treatment of women in the middle east & other areas is horrible & I’m sure I wouldn’t have lived long. We just need to use our voices & our skills to keep our people & government honest & fair. Yuo know I am ready for fall, can’t wait

Byrdie, I stay away from the high end expensive craft shows, who needs that stress? I go with the fire company, churches & school events where entrance fees are reasonable. I know most people who attend these fairs are shopping on a budget so I don’t price anything real high. I’m not out to make a killing haha but I do come home with $$!!!
Glad your chocolate came in so you can continue creating beautiful candies

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav