Hola my friends,
I hope you're all having a peaceful and healthy weekend. If not, please be gentle with yourself and slowly work on a plan out of the hole in a way you can handle.
Over here it's sunday morning September 12. Today is 3 years booze free. A new world record. haha. Thanks to you all for the good wishes. The feeling is good 'round here. Living sober for me has = going for my dreams by being well enough and clear minded enough to form a little plan and take action. Action is the key of course. Otherwise nothing changes if nothing changes. Emotional health........This is important. As an impulsive creature (i want it now!) and inner tantrum thrower over the years, i've had to practice patience and have learnt to examine my thoughts before i act. Not always successful, but def getting better at this. So rather than act on a thought, feeling, impulse - which often is a result of my conditioned beliefs gained via life experiences and environment, i stop, pause and examine a situation. I do this always now before i speak or act, because i now know that my initial feeling, thoughts are usually influenced heavily by my experiences, hence beliefs. This makes a little sense, but my beliefs aren't always aligned with the reality of the situation, or the best approach. Hope that spiel makes sense!
Life is much better now. Contentment and inner peace plus a regular sense of playfulness and joy bubble away underneath. I try to keep a reign on the joy aspect when others around me are perceiving difficulties. But life also throws lemons and turmoil. Now i can deal with most problems much easier and from a place of calm and relative inner balance. The self sabotaging, to hell with responsibility, let's just give society the finger, i'm outta here, fk this, fk u teenager is still alive and well within, and never too far away. I am respectful of this part of me, and also love, embrace and understand it.
The pandemic has slowed the planned romantic journey of having a family with a Sth american chica, but i'm still on that path. I'm one of the lucky ones in that i still have work, an income, my health and sanity, a life purpose or 2, and a guitar to make music with. I note that if i wasn't sober, none of that would be happening. I'd be strumming a few chords now and then dreaming unfulfilled dreams and beating myself up 16 hours a day releasing more stress hormone/chemicals, raising blood pressure, killing various internal organs, weakening immune system, reprogramming my cells to a daily life of depression and sadness and stress. I'd be back there in a week or 2 most likely. It's all or nothing for me. That's ok once you understand yourself. Inner enquiry, self reflection are my daily anchor. Gratitude list x minimum 3 things everyday, 6 mins. minimum meditation/breathing leaving thoughts alone. Daily simple one set of yoga (about 10 moves). Life goals. 5 years, 1 year, 3 months, monthly, weekly, daily. Break em down and write out what you want to acheive for the week on sunday or monday morning. Just an idea. Keeping it simple is key for me. Nooooo ova.....ove....over....er, overwhelm. No overwhelm. A simple daily self care routine can be very very helpful if you need to rebuild and change your life.
Finally, thanks to everyone here. This is a great site. I've met a couple of people from here, spoke on the phone to a couple too. it's always a blast. I hope to meet you all someday. I'm sure we will. Until then, back yourself and buy yourself something nice.
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