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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hola my friends,

    I hope you're all having a peaceful and healthy weekend. If not, please be gentle with yourself and slowly work on a plan out of the hole in a way you can handle.

    Over here it's sunday morning September 12. Today is 3 years booze free. A new world record. haha. Thanks to you all for the good wishes. The feeling is good 'round here. Living sober for me has = going for my dreams by being well enough and clear minded enough to form a little plan and take action. Action is the key of course. Otherwise nothing changes if nothing changes. Emotional health........This is important. As an impulsive creature (i want it now!) and inner tantrum thrower over the years, i've had to practice patience and have learnt to examine my thoughts before i act. Not always successful, but def getting better at this. So rather than act on a thought, feeling, impulse - which often is a result of my conditioned beliefs gained via life experiences and environment, i stop, pause and examine a situation. I do this always now before i speak or act, because i now know that my initial feeling, thoughts are usually influenced heavily by my experiences, hence beliefs. This makes a little sense, but my beliefs aren't always aligned with the reality of the situation, or the best approach. Hope that spiel makes sense!

    Life is much better now. Contentment and inner peace plus a regular sense of playfulness and joy bubble away underneath. I try to keep a reign on the joy aspect when others around me are perceiving difficulties. But life also throws lemons and turmoil. Now i can deal with most problems much easier and from a place of calm and relative inner balance. The self sabotaging, to hell with responsibility, let's just give society the finger, i'm outta here, fk this, fk u teenager is still alive and well within, and never too far away. I am respectful of this part of me, and also love, embrace and understand it.

    The pandemic has slowed the planned romantic journey of having a family with a Sth american chica, but i'm still on that path. I'm one of the lucky ones in that i still have work, an income, my health and sanity, a life purpose or 2, and a guitar to make music with. I note that if i wasn't sober, none of that would be happening. I'd be strumming a few chords now and then dreaming unfulfilled dreams and beating myself up 16 hours a day releasing more stress hormone/chemicals, raising blood pressure, killing various internal organs, weakening immune system, reprogramming my cells to a daily life of depression and sadness and stress. I'd be back there in a week or 2 most likely. It's all or nothing for me. That's ok once you understand yourself. Inner enquiry, self reflection are my daily anchor. Gratitude list x minimum 3 things everyday, 6 mins. minimum meditation/breathing leaving thoughts alone. Daily simple one set of yoga (about 10 moves). Life goals. 5 years, 1 year, 3 months, monthly, weekly, daily. Break em down and write out what you want to acheive for the week on sunday or monday morning. Just an idea. Keeping it simple is key for me. Nooooo ova.....ove....over....er, overwhelm. No overwhelm. A simple daily self care routine can be very very helpful if you need to rebuild and change your life.

    Finally, thanks to everyone here. This is a great site. I've met a couple of people from here, spoke on the phone to a couple too. it's always a blast. I hope to meet you all someday. I'm sure we will. Until then, back yourself and buy yourself something nice.

    'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

    Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Sunday evening greetings Nesters,

      Enjoying some decent weather today & have been out starting on the garden bed cleanup. Life is good

      G, CONGRATS again on your accomplishment, 3 years AF!!
      You truly seem to have ‘seen the light’ with a clear mind & continue to grow into the wonderful new you!! Keep doing that

      Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

      Comment


        Re: Newbies Nest

        Wow, G! :three: Just amazing. We are incredibly happy for you. What a joy it has been to watch your growth and success. You have a wonderful joyful spirit about you that is a rare gift. We are so lucky to have your guiding light right here to lift us up after the long days try to take their heavy toll. We absolutely are beaming with pride for you on this happy anniversary. Keep up the great work.

        Slo, I’m just getting to the point in life where I am choosing more carefully, with whom I spend my precious time. I’m learning to say no, especially to toxic people. I got a note a few weeks ago from a former customer of mine. This guy made my life a living hell for 28 years. Every Friday afternoon,I’m could bank on a call from him with some sort of emergency (I sold shoplifting deterrents). His note just asked if I was enjoying retirement. No thanks to him, I am. I didn’t reply to his message. With that, I took some of my power back. It felt good. I’m thinking of you and wishing you strength.
        Kensho, my office’s juju is much improved, I was a little disappointed with my Eiffel Tower canvas print but am very happy with the rug and quirky table. I’ll get a snap for your approval. Tomorrow, I’m going in to the hardware for paint samples. Look out guest bedroom! I’m coming for you next!
        Yesterday’s memorials for 9/11 were gut wrenching all over again. It makes me wonder how we are going to look back at this awful pandemic.
        I hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
        Tool Box
        Newbie's Nest

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          Re: Newbies Nest

          Happy, happy, happy 3 years [MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION] ! We are so lucky to have your positive, contagious energy here in the nest! Your dreams are yours to live now… congratulations. I hope you did something wonderful for yourself today
          Kensho

          Done. Moving on to life.

          Comment


            Re: Newbies Nest

            Congratulations G-dude on 3 wonderful years of moving forward!!!

            The way you have CHOSEN to live your life, and the mindset you've embraced -- especially these past 3 years -- is inspiring. I hope all of your dreams unfold as you continue on your journey.

            Byrdie - your revamped office sounds pretty fab

            Lav - I'd say you're doing a great job stepping up for your g'kids.

            Kensho - love that you were able to order and carry the margarita without any temptation or side thoughts at all. That's when you know you've really got a handle on things (not that everyone should rush right out and order/carry drinks!). I feel the same ambivalence when I pick up beer for my wife -- just no temptation at all.


            Hellos to Pav, Slo, Steady, Mulberry, and everyone else stopping by the nest. Happy new weeks!
            Toolbox/Toolkit

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              Re: Newbies Nest

              Thanks everyone. So nice to read your lovely words. Thanks for being here and sharing this thing together.

              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

              Comment


                Re: Newbies Nest

                Forgot to add the snap of my office for Special K. (Don’t judge, I’m an amateur).
                4A21B878-4CAE-4D89-8BA9-734392C46D99.jpg
                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                Tool Box
                Newbie's Nest

                Comment


                  Re: Newbies Nest

                  Good Monday evening Nesters,

                  Nothing major going on here & that’s just fine. Since I’m stuck in my house with the AC on I decided to try out a new bread recipe - whole grain spelt! Waiting for it to cool enough to slice. See if it was worth my time & effort, Lol

                  Byrdie, I love your Eiffel Tower print, looks like the real thing. You know when yo go to the top you get an awesome view of my favorite city . I like your funky table too, good job. I won’t let my grandsons visit you though, they would turn that table into a fun ride of some sorts haha!

                  G, wishing. You the best as you begin year 4 AF, yay!!

                  Hello to Wags, Kensho, Pav & everyone!

                  Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    Re: Newbies Nest

                    I LOVE your new office, Byrdie! It looks absolutely amazing!

                    I went to Applebee’s for lunch recently too, Lav. Good way to fill up the grandson! I hope you don’t have to get up that early too often to get the boys off to school.

                    Yay, Mr. G! Well done, and welcome to the 3-year club! Thank you for sharing your strategies & wisdom with us. I take it all in.

                    Wags, I’m glad you can look forward to your schedule easing a bit in a few weeks.

                    I felt the need to go to the family reunion because cousin planned it and tapped me first for a good weekend to have it. Also wanted to revisit old ghosts and see things from an adult perspective instead of through my child eyes. Also practice socializing AF. My fears were unfounded, as nobody brought up brother’s suicide, and mother by & large behaved herself, and she is being very supportive of my divorce. Sister got stuck with driving her back & forth, so she got 7 hours of listening to mother bitch & judge & criticize everything -but I avoided that by driving to young daughter’s college! The reunion was fun, and it was nice to be able to support daughter in adjusting to college.

                    Pav, at least the kids appreciate getting to go to school now. There’s that, anyways. So tough with the staff and parents though.

                    I miss Ava, and LC and Belle! G’night.
                    Last edited by Slo; September 13, 2021, 08:28 PM.
                    Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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                      Re: Newbies Nest

                      Hi Nesters,

                      I echo the sentiments of everyone here, Mr G you are such an inspirational dude! I hope your "birthday" was everything you wanted it to be.

                      Although I'm tired of the pandemic like everyone else, I can see lots of positives around me, and have a lot to be thankful for. I intended to be back at the Nest sooner than this, but I got a temporary job just after Mum passed (I applied for it in May & didn't really expect to hear back) and so I was distracted by that for a while. Also focusing on being a better teacher to my ESL student, planning Zoom lessons and stuff. Zoom weight sessions with a trainer help keep me sane.

                      Where, and how, is Ava??

                      love to all,
                      Steady :happy2:
                      AF free since April 29, 2013

                      Comment


                        Re: Newbies Nest

                        Hi, Nest

                        Look at how strong you have become, [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION]! Facing the demons of the past instead of hiding from them at the bottom of a bottle. I know your divorce is hard but just because staying in your marriage might seem safer right now because it is familiar, I just know you'll end up happier and more confident and secure after you take this leap into the great unknown.

                        Good to see you, [MENTION=19460]STEADFAST[/MENTION]. Congratulations on the new job - I hope you like it.

                        Way to go, [MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION]! You've helped so many of us on your way to 3 years of good living. Thank you.

                        Things are ok in NoSugar land other than eating a bunch of low sugar cookies last evening. They weren't even that sweet and they were super-moreish to me! Glad I rarely have them around!! Also glad I never think I'll have 'just one' of wine :eek-new:

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                          Re: Newbies Nest

                          Beautiful Byrdie! I love the vintage touches, and handsome chair! Looks very welcoming. The rug and table add tons of warmth - and you know me... I love wood grain pieces. Thumbs up on the wainscot paint. I like your Paris pic because it takes you to an inspiring place. The good news is that you can easily change it out if you decide it's not your favorite. What is hanging above the chair? It looks like a really interesting light fixture? I'm impressed!

                          Slo, you sound strong and willing to be in the messiness of life. I think we just get stronger and stronger the more we keep our boundaries and keep trudging through the mud. You will come to a brighter place. Hugs to you.

                          Hi Steady. Thanks for your reminder to focus on positive things. They are all around when I look! I'll bet the distraction was not all bad? Awesome that you are doing weight training via zoom!

                          My daughter is fairly sick with a cold. Seems worse because we haven't had a single illness in about 2 years. I have done two rapid covid tests which were both negative and she was around someone else with a cold, so I'm not very worried about that. She is supposed to get her second covid shot this Thursday and I hope that can still happen. Other than that - I'm just trying to be productive in the office, and find time to do a little exercise. Have a good day everyone.
                          Kensho

                          Done. Moving on to life.

                          Comment


                            Re: Newbies Nest

                            hi Nesters,

                            Gman, well done! I'm so happy for you. that you've found your freedom.:love:

                            I haven't been checking in so much because i still don't have my shit together.. I'm acting as a solid wall of strength and wisdom to others, but I'm not following through with the wisdom i'm offering to others.. i feel like a fraud and i am. We're having such a hard time with my sister.. with mental health issues, legal issues, etc., and my mom is at the end of her rope.. we've spoken often and I suggested that she go back to aa to get some support.. she's been sober many, many years, but feels more shaky at the moment than she ever has, always in tears.. she went to 3 meetings last week, which helped her a lot.. but why can't i follow my own advice? it's getting more and more difficult to stop and get a day 1/some sober time.. i got so much great advice/encouragement last month, and i am trying to move forward.. ugghhh.. i'm the most broken of the broken records..
                            i've started a daily journal, but really want to have this be a base/source of support/strengrh as well..

                            Comment


                              Re: Newbies Nest

                              hi Nesters,

                              Gman, well done! I'm so happy for you. that you've found your freedom.:love:

                              I haven't been checking in so much because i still don't have my shit together.. I'm acting as a solid wall of strength and wisdom to others, but I'm not following through with the wisdom i'm offering to others.. i feel like a fraud and i am. We're having such a hard time with my sister.. with mental health issues, legal issues, etc., and my mom is at the end of her rope.. we've spoken often and I suggested that she go back to aa to get some support.. she's been sober many, many years, but feels more shaky at the moment than she ever has, always in tears.. she went to 3 meetings last week, which helped her a lot.. but why can't i follow my own advice? it's getting more and more difficult to stop and get a day 1/some sober time.. i got so much great advice/encouragement last month, and i am trying to move forward.. ugghhh.. i'm the most broken of the broken records..
                              i've started a daily journal, but really want to have this be a base/source of support/strengrh as well..

                              Comment


                                Re: Newbies Nest

                                Hi, LC

                                I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling and that your sister, also, is not doing well :hug:

                                You are not broken. What you need it there, inside you, but it is hard to let it out with so much hard life coming at you.

                                We want to be an important source of support for you. I hope you can let us. xx, NS

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