Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Enjoying the cooler & sunny weather still, my fav
My younger grandson decided to come back again this weekend but I told him only 1 night this time haha!

Byrdie, that’s a shame about the chocolate shortage, geez. I wonder if we need to be stocking up on necessities again. Hope something comes thru for you soon!

G, I’m definitely going to have to redecorate the chicken house before you show up, haha! It’s full of dust & cobwebs right now to be perfectly honest

Slo, Congrats on the condo, I’m happy for yo. I also wish things could be different for you & your husband. I’ve learned that when people want to hold on to their depression there’s really not much we can do. It’s up to him to decide to make a change & maybe get a psych eval & some meds. You may remember several years ago my brother-in-law committed suicide next door. There was nothing we could do, he had made the decision & took matters into his own hands. It didn’t have t o go that way for him but it was his choice. Glad you had. Fun with the littles.

Wags, yep I’m keeping a positive attitude until I get my results, doing what I can. Hope your weekend is good.

Belle, enjoy your time with your son, that’s great! Being busy is good, helps me stay on plan.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

No one here but me in the past 24 hours??
I hope everyone is OK & enjoying a fabulous AF weekend.

Have a safe night in the nest everyone.

Lav

[Mulburry]

Re: Newbies Nest

Mulburry, I hope that you are on the upswing of your detox. I found day 13 to be an absolutely pivotal day for me. It was the day I knew I could make it! I hope you reach that same mindset soon. It was such a blessing. We are all pulling for you!

Ya the two week mark really did feel like a turning point. Though I've had a bit of the last few days setback, but I think that's mostly from coming off / reducing meds, but still feels like progression overall. It sucks to feel lousy a lot but strangely I still haven't had too overwhelming alcohol cravings, so that's the main thing.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

I was here yesterday Lav! But only managed to read to catch up with all of you.
Congrats on the condo, Slo!!!! It could be that moving into your own space, getting some distance helps you with getting a slightly different perspective..? And some space to breathe. It will most likely make it easier for you to deal with everything you've been/are going through.. strength and love to you..:hug:

Belle, how nice to have your son coming home for the holidays! Is it a 2 week break? Do you have any special plans? I can't remember how far away his Uni is..? Have a lovely visit!

Yesterday morning was another, Thank god I didn't drink last night, morning! The afternoon/night before we were at my eldest's new place painting and celebrating her husband's bday.. it was such a nice time but I was soooo tired from work the day before and we were there for 8 hours.. Drinking to get more energy crossed my mind?! And I realized that I used to do that often.. have a drink for a jump start. I hate to be overly tired.. I guess we all do, but where most people just let their bodies rest, I try to fight it. That night I came home and went to bed, woke up Unhung and had the best day yesterday with my youngest, getting our flat in order, deep Autum cleaning.. it was a sunny day so 3 loads of laundry could hang and dry, listening to great music.. it was another nice bonding time. It came to me that I had her sister alone for 3 years before she was born.. and now she'll be at home with me for 3 years till she's done with school.. we've never had time on our own before..:love:

Anyway, off for a museum visit today.. and otherwise a quiet, cozy day..
Hi and Hugs to all of you lovely Nesters.. Thank you soooo much for being here.xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone,

Mulburry, you put in the effort and got through the dangerous detox period and the precarious first couple weeks. Well done!

Lav, good boundaries with the grandson. He can come for a visit, but not live with you.

LC, it is tempting to drink to push through when tired. I’m glad that you were rewarded by not taking that route! If you don’t drink, then younger daughter will get three quality years alone with you.

I traveled yesterday to see relatives. It has been an awkward week of having to drop the bomb on more people about our divorce…that the image I tried to portray of a healthy marriage all these years, like on Christmas cards and social media, wasn’t really true.
I wish HB didn’t make unilateral decisions, and wish he communicated with me…then maybe we could keep it together. Like my lawyer noted; he acts, and leaves me in the position of reacting and responding.

Traveling again today to babysit grandchildren today & tomorrow. Happy Sunday!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday morning,
I am enjoying having my son here. It is only for a short 4 day fall break...but I'll take it. It is hard to believe the semester is half done. He is a fashion design major, and we had to go to a fabric store yesterday so he could get some fabric samples for a project he is doing. Remember being a kid and your mom is shopping for hours and you just want to beg her to go home? Well the shoe is on the other foot. He can walk around, touch and feel various fabrics until he comes up on the absolute right ones. 3 hours in the fabric store with him is the norm...until I am dying to get out of there. I did get some flannel with cute pictures of pugs and I hope to make pajama pants. haha. let's see if this happens. People tell me to get him to make it, but that surely won't happen as he is on to bigger and better ideas. I need to keep my hands and mind busy to stay on plan anyway.

LC I entirely understand the concept of drinking for energy. It works for a little while and then it it is blotto time. A nap is a much better choice for me, as I have tried the AL route too many times. And it was pretty much the same for me. I had my son alone for 3 years before my daughter came along...and then when he went away to school I had 3 years with her. Never thought about that before. Now there is nobody...so I am so happy when one of the kids comes home. Daughter will be here next weekend for a dermatologist appointment of Friday. Of course she always drains me of energy and money when she is home, but I love having her here anyway. So that will make 3 weekends in a row with kids home. Ugh I'll have to get used to empty nest again afterwards.

Hubs has been ok lately. I mainly keep my distance and try to be as pleasant as possible. Slo, I am so sorry you have't had a say in anything going on and it sounds like your hubs won't even consider marriage counseling? Telling the family will be hard, but I hope they can offer you some support.

Bye for now. Hope everyone has a lovely day. Weather is beautiful here and son plans on putting up the halloween decorations. It's his favorite holiday.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had a real nice visit with my daughter, granddaughter & son-in-law today. They brought birthday gifts for my husband who is having a birthday tomorrow. My granddaughter made us a vegan lunch - sausage rolls & salad - she’s 11!!!!! I am impressed, seriously

Mulburry, glad yo checked in & are doing OK. Progress is what we are looking for, one day at a time. I’m happy for you

LC, I felt all alone yesterday, haha! Glad to see you today. I also told my son after my daughter left for college that this was his turn to be the only child for a few years, LOl. He didn’t know what to say!

Slo, glad you’re getting some good grandkid time in, makes a big difference. Informing friends & relatives of your divorce is enough, you don’t owe anyone explanations. Focus on you & your new future as you build the life you deserve. I have to agree with the lawyer’s observation - you are being manipulated. That behavior is just not acceptable & I made that clear myself. Hang in there, you’re doing great.

Belle, glad you’re enjoying a visit with your son. I’ve started dragging out fall?halloween stuff too.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in sober on a Sunday night. We had a pretty full weekend here, mostly work for me, although we did go participate in a protest/march yesterday which was amazing and empowering and also infuriating that we even need to be protesting such things.

LC - sounds like a wonderful opportunity to enjoy some years with your younger daughter. Aren't you glad you're aware and able to appreciate such time?

Slo - has your husband always behaved like this? Making unilateral decisions and expecting you to respond/react? I hope as you gradually adjust to this new chapter in your life, that you find it to be enriching, empowering, and rewarding. You deserve all the best.

Belle - sounds like you're having some wonderful time with your kids home for the various weekends. Good for you!


Hellos and waves to Lav, Kensho, and everyone else in the nest. Happy first full week of October (can you believe it?!?).

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Wags, glad to see you drop in the nest. I’ve been pretty lonely here lately haha!

I just reread my post from yesterday where I mentioned my granddaughter is 11 - she’s actually 10, don’t know what I was thinking. Pretty amazing at that age to plan & execute a meal for her grandfather’s birthday.
Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - I don't know how I missed your post but I'm very impressed as well with the lunch your 10 y.o. granddaughter made for you. Wow! Hope your husband had a nice birthday.


Today started way too early for my taste -- we were out the door and on the highway by 6am, which is simultaneously a great time to be driving (light traffic) and a terrible time (people disregarding laws cuz of light traffic). And dark -- I don't really like driving in the dark very much anymore. Then a long day of teaching/tutoring. Only 5 more days until the October test, and then my workload will lighten up by 3-4 people. That's not a huge decrease but it'll be noticeable and I'm looking forward to it. I might not be on much this week though -- my brain is pretty fried by the end of each day.

Take care everyone and have great new weeks!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters.
Was in a big funk yesterday as husband gaslighted me at the dinner table in front of son. I asked a simple question, "would you like me to drive son back to campus on Tuesday, or are you planning on it". Yes, or no would work, but he went on that I volunteered, and made it look like I said I definitely would and was backing out. YES or NO would have worked. It got a little ugly and son left the table as soon as he was finished. Son and I are good. We had a long talk and he was really more upset that none of his friends were around this weekend. However, he did get out with one of his friends last night, then they hung out in our basement and laughed and laughed for hours. So good for the soul.

I saw this quote on Instagram yesterday and I have made it my wallpaper on my phone:

"In case no one told you today, you are needed, you are stronger than you think, you are doing great, you deserve the best, you are here for a reason. Don't give up".

So many times lately I have felt like giving up.

One of my co-worker's family has Covid. He only has had one dose of vaccine (and I think he is only getting vaccinated to get accepted at a college). I think his family are non-vaxxers and they were given monoclonal antibodies. Funny how they will take that as a shot or infusion, but not a covid vax. I don't want to start a debate here, but I worked with this guy on Thursday, the last day he was at work. I pray I stay healthy. But now I have extra work to do as he is out for the week.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Back from helping take care of the little grandchildren for a couple days! I love snuggling that little Mabel. She started trying out solid foods this week, and I gave her her first oatmeal! Beckett had a cold, so I can tell I’m trying to fight that off now.

Wags, you have to be just brain dead by the intensity. Just five more days of a too-tight schedule!

Belle, those conflicts with HB when one makes what one thinks is an innocent comment or question sounds familiar. Nice for you to have son home for the weekend.

Lav, what a precocious young granddaughter! Although your HB might have preferred a real sausage roll instead of a vegan one! Such a thoughtful visit they made.

Mulburry, now you’re in phase 2 where you have to come off the detox meds. Phase 2 of feeling lousy. Just keep plodding through, one day at a time. You are getting there!

Wishing an easy AF day to all of us.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Completely dark at 7 pm & I’ve just closed up the chicken house for the night. Now I can sit for a bit & do things I really want to do, Lol
It felt cooler today due to a solid cloud cover but it’s still pretty damp. Walking was a bit more comfortable so that’s good.

Wags, please don’t let your head explode, haha! I can only imagine the hectic tension all the students have right now. I can still remember those days myself, believe it or not. My husband has been introduced to vegan eating by yours truly so he really did like the sausage rolls. He knows he should be consuming fewer animal products these days, it’s just a matter of reminding him a few times/week.

Belle, sorry you had to deal with the gaslighting but I am happy to see that you recognized it & labeled it for what it was. It took me too many years to get there myself, I’m proud of you. Glad your son found a friend to hang out with at home.

Slo, sounds like you really enjoyed your grandkid time, it’s the best!
It’s funny but my granddaughter has been jumping in to help me in the kitchen for years. She actually enjoys the process, even rolling pierogie dough & filling them every Christmas.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - sorry to hear about the gas-lighting. You ARE doing great and you DO deserve the best. Keep that first and foremost in your mind. Hope you stay healthy!

Waves to Slo, Lav and everyone. Happy almost Wednesday!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had a good day in Lav-land making low sodium foods taste half decent, haha! I pulled off a potato salad today & a fresh mango coffee cake & they were both low sodium & good
Enjoying slightly cooler temps again but it’s still weirdly humid.

Wags, hello to you!

Hello to the rest of the nest & wishing everyone a safe night!

Lav