Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Belle, you are absolutely correct. You deserve the best, and you are the best. I've discovered that it's soooo important that i am on my team. That I am my best friend. Takes some practice, but taking care of ourselves is one known path to peace of mind and contentment. This is after all an inside job. Life is an inside job. i.e. I'm the boss. I'm driving this vehicle and i decide which direction, what fuel i run on, how often i tune up, service, refurbish, replace outdated software and operating systems where necessary. Why i just had a tune up this morning. It involved yoga, breathing/meditation, some light exercise to tone the body and mind. I'm ready for the day. Calm and reasonably balanced. Mood follows action.

Take it easy out there evabody.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good insights, G-man. We need to be on our own team and be our own best friend. I’m realizing anew that I don’t feel good about myself when I’m around HB. It’s a relief when he leaves so I can get away from feeling not good enough and go back to being my own friend.

Lav, I had a good time with the grandchildren on Monday, but on Sunday I had invited HB up to help me with them. I stupidly wanted to heal our relationship by babysitting grandchildren together. But we had conflict that morning, and he did the same put-down techniques that he has always used (“Oh, poor you. Oh, you have it so rough.”) When I used to try to problem-solve with him about, say, handling all the laundry of 6 people, or needing help with the baby, all I’d get would be “I think you have a nice life!”, and off he’d waltz.. Now how does that solve anything??
I found I couldn’t babysit with someone who is divorcing me, so I took Mabel and left him with Beckett. And I rocked her and held her for over two hours while she slept. Then the next day after he left I felt good and whole. I’ll take my sister with me next time I want a babysitting helper.

You’re still being creative in the kitchen, Lav! I love my salt, but am trying to rein it in a bit too. And I’ve done well effortlessly the last few days at staying away from sugar!

Thanks for checking in, Wags! G’night.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Being alone is different to being lonely. Being alone can be a lot of fun but being lonely, especially when you feel that way when someone else is there, is really painful. I bet it will be easier to create the life you want and deserve when you’re on your own, Slo. I hope the condo is ready when promised.

I like your quote, Belle. All of those things are true and it is good to be reminded. I hope you can ignore your husband - people who act like he does is revealing his issues. It says nothing about you.

Techie recommended a great book in another thread: https://www.mywayout.org/community/w...ml#post1801489

Cooler but still damp weather is heading your way, Lav. I’ve been loving this warm fall. Even though we haven’t had a freeze yet, I cleaned out much of the summer’s bounty from the yard today- it was an overgrown MESS. Usually we would have had at least a frost by now.

I hope your week is going ok, Wags.

You’re right, Mr G. It is all an inside job (see Techie’s book recommendation!)

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Cooler but humid weather remains but we did see at least a little sun today
Today I made a couple batches of healthy skillet cinnamon apples using only a little brown coconut sugar. Put half in the fridge for use on waffles, pancakes, etc & the other half went into the freezer. I also did 3 1/2 quarts of sodium free veggie broth in the IP & that went into the freezer as well. Got my 60 minutes of walking in too. Self care is my goal here every single day.

G, I like your self care routine too, whatever works, right?

Slo, you certainly have tried to get a conversation going with your husband but I know they don’t hear what they don’t want to hear. We are all proud of you for taking steps to protect yourself, your quit & your future. Good for you! I spend a lot of time in the kitchen trying to create healthy meals & I don’t care if my husband adds salt to everything I cook. He has hypertension as well but doesn’t want to be told how to eat. His choice in the end!

NS, I really appreciate this cooler weather after the awful summer we had. We never get frost this early but I could deal with it if I had to, haha! I am clearing out gardens too, they were jungle-y looking.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in on my second to last super crazy work day. By this time tomorrow my work load will be about 25% lighter and that will make a huge difference. I'll be reading back and catching up on posts I've missed. Hope you all are doing well and that you're ready to have great AF weekends!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning!

We really have had a warm Fall, haven’t we, NS? I can still get out for bike rides! And my pink flowering hanging basket on the front porch is doing great, so I haven’t even put pumpkins out yet!

Yes, there are two kinds of loneliness. There is the comfort of having HB come home from work, and I will miss not having anyone coming home -being all alone. But then there is the loneliness of no shared projects, no real communication, and just watching him watch TV. I don’t know which one is more painful. I guess I’m about to find out.

I am so relieved that I have found a solution to the debilitating pain in my knee replacement knee! Someone shared a hamstring stretch from a Knees Over Toes program, and something released behind my knee, freeing me! Now I’m busy following that guy’s stretching & strengthening program! Also, water aerobics was leaving me with increased pain for several days afterwards, so I switched to lap swimming last night. Much better! I am so relieved to be out of facing what I feared was a lifetime ahead of chronic pain and limited mobility. Now I just need pain gel once a day, and my soft brace as needed.

For some reason I have never read that book yet, NS. Thanks for the reminder that I really should.

Lav, that is wonderful that you share your cultural holiday tradition of making pierogies with your granddaughter.

I’m traveling to take my mother to a doctor appointment today. Wags, I bet you will have a great weekend, knowing crunch time is over! And you too, Belle, with your daughter coming home!
Happy Friday to all -no boozing needed!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Friday evening greetings Nesters,

You all know how much time I spend in the kitchen, grateful to have good appliances & everything I need BUT sometimes you just need a good old fashioned wooden spoon, right? Mine are in pitiful condition so I’ve been looking everywhere to buy some new wooden spoons with no luck. How crazy is that? Then I remembered to Amish hardware store, checked with them & came home with new spoons, Lol. So today has been a successful day for me

Wags, I sure hope you get a chance to rest up this weekend & maybe enjoy some good outdoor time too. You definitely deserve that

Slo, it’s still very mild here as well. My planters on the deck are still blooming too.
I’m so glad you found relief for your knee, yay! No one wants chronic pain or decreased mobility. I’m happy for you! About the loneliness thing - I found I adjusted to living alone for 4 years when I had no other choice. Frankly I was happy to be rid of the job of trying to make a chronically depressed person happy. I fell into my own routine quickly enough, I had 2 dogs & a couple dozen chickens to keep me company. I had plenty of time to spend with the grandkids & that was nice. I think you will find your routine as well, live life the way you choose.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well hello again Nesters,

It’s just me again & life is good . I hope everyone is enjoying an AF weekend, check in soon.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Slo, great news on the knee. That's why i do yoga. It keeps me in touch with how my body's travelling. But doesn't have to be yoga. Just some simple regular stretching helps keep us flexible.

Have a nice night Lav.

Big hello's and waves to evabody. Have a nice weekend and take care of you.

Surf's up diggity's.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Flying by with a sober check-in. Whew, I made it through the crunch. I'll be taking a few deep breaths over the next several days -- still working but much lighter load. Had a weird passing thought about having a beer earlier today. It just goes to show how deeply wired some of those old thoughts and patterns were. I quickly redirected my thoughts and the idea didn't return.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone. Busy weekend here, and busy week. We leave Wednesday for a 4 day mini-vacation, so lots to do. Not tempted to drink really, but feeling stress from all angles is making me tighten the latches on my toolbox. I'm feeling unusually tired and brain fogged today due to eating stuff I shouldn't have yesterday. I've been testing the waters, and am not yet ready to eat much on my "no" list, unfortunately.

G - you crack me up. YES, that is EXACTLY what I said at that party Glad to be consistently reading your self-care reminders, so thank you for that.

Slo, so glad you got your special time with your granddaughter. I look forward to those days with little ones again someday.

LAV - wooden spoons are the only way to cook. Not sure why, but thought I have a plethora of kitchen utensils to choose from, I always first pick my oldest, smallest, beat up wooden spoon. I guess it's seasoned.

Wags, glad you got to the reward of your hard work. Enjoy the break! Without beer.

Does anyone know how to dry herbs? I have such lovely pots of rosemary, Thai and regular basil, peppermint and lemon balm. Nothing beats fresh, but I hate to see them all die with our probably freeze later this week.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

It’s just starting to rain & that messes up my after dinner walk. Guess I will be hopping on the treadmill aka dreadmill, haha!

G, good to see you!

Wags, the thoughts are very infrequent for me these days & I have learned to laugh them off - no way, LOL
I hope things calm down for y ou for a while.

Kensho, stress comes & goes & we know how to handle it without AL now, thank goodness.
I have air dried herbs & also dried them in a dehydrator my husband was compelled to buy years ago. It’s easy enough to just hang bunches somewhere where they won’t get dusty & jjust let time take care of them. I think some of my wooden spoons are originals, meaning ancient, haha. The small one actually split open so it had to be replaced.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - it sounds like you've had some productive days in the kitchen recently. Good job getting your walks in as well.

Kensho - hope you have a fab mini-vacation coming up. My wife does a lot of dried herbs and just air dries them like Lav described.

G - great words of wisdom, as usual

NS - that is a fantastic book recommendation. Someone steered me toward it about 20 years ago and I revisit it every few years. Your post reminds me it's about time to do so again!


Hope everyone had a good weekend in your respective corners of the planet. Happy new weeks to you all!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings on a Monday morning,

Kensho, it is extra work & stress to pack and get ready for a trip, and having to redistribute your workload. I hope you all love it once you’re there!

Wags, did you get out on your bike over the weekend? I get to go out this morning because it’s 66F here, despite being well into October!

Lav, treadmill walking and indoor biking pales in comparison to being outdoors. A one-hour walk is pretty long; good for you! A 40-55 minute walk was the sweet spot for me before my injured knee degenerated. Is your walking helping you sleep better?

I feel like I am careful about stretching, so am shocked that my hamstrings were hampering my artificial knee! Now the Kness Over Toes exercises are too much for it, so I’ll have to back off some on those.

I hope Byrdie’s chocolate came in! We’re due for some treats in the Nest!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest!!

I read something on Daily OM that resonated with me, and seemed relevant to drinking addiction and the quitting process - I wanted to share:

"Missing Our Old Habits: ...Whenever we make the effort to free ourselves from an addiction or habit we no longer need, we are often surprised to find ourselves missing the old pattern as we would a familiar friend. This sounds counterintuitive, because we think we should instinctively gravitate toward that which is good for us. And yet, it makes a lot of sense when you consider that we humans are creatures of habit. This is why we gravitate to people and places -- and patterns of behavior -- that make us feel comfortable. Therefore, many of the habits we form are not conscious and are based instead on learned behavior from old models who were not always making the healthiest decisions.

Most addictions begin as a way of avoiding feelings that are extremely uncomfortable, so it makes sense that stopping the addiction means, for a time, a fair amount of discomfort..... Just knowing that this is hard, and having compassion for ourselves as we work through this process, can help us to stay the course when we feel the urge to backtrack. It's also helpful to remember that in time we will establish new, healthier patterns, and the yearning for the old ones will disappear. Eventually, we will instinctively reach for things that are good for us, and the longing for positive change may form the basis of a new habit.

The only way to get to this new place is to endure a time of difficulty, which is a challenge we can confidently handle, if we remember that it will lead to the change we seek in our lives. Our bodies, hearts, and minds always need time to adjust to a new way of doing things, but they will adapt, and even become our allies, if we remain true to our vision of a new way."

Have a good day Nest, and remember that it takes a bit of discomfort to let go of alcohol and work through new, healthier options. Be kind to yourselves, and trust that change does happen and a new, beautiful life emerges with sustained sobriety.