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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Morning nesters

    Quick check in for me. I am busy trying to do some work and pack to go to see my great nephew. I am taking mum and it is a 10 plus hour drive so think of me. i am hoping i dont dump her out of the car on the way and she is pleasant. I have my doubts. I know all about narcissistic people trish. thank fully i have learnt to deal with her. She does hate the "no control" feeling. i do know i only have to walk away from her or go for a walk. if she thinks i am rude so be it.
    I am hopeful he will be with us when we get there. Work has been fantastic and i am lucky that i can take my work laptop so that is good. Not sure how long we will be there for but it doesnt matter. At least the borders are open and we dont need to quarantine for 14 days as we are double vaxed.

    we will be staying at my SIL's place and she was my best drinking buddy during my drinking days. I have no inclination to drink, drinking is not going to make this situation any better, if it did, i would be drinking till the cows come home but it wont. god even the thought of a drink makes me want to vomit.

    Glad to see that everyone is well. sorry this is an "about me post" but i will be back on when things settle down. I do know to log on here if those lifey moments become unbearable. my toolbelt is packed and ready to go with me.

    take care xxxx
    AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Safe travels, Available. Bless that little baby and his family. No parent should have to bear that. We will be thinking of you.
      Slo, your G-babies sound adorable, I’m glad you are able to spend some time with them.
      Left a message for my eye doc, hope to hear from them tomorrow.
      Hugs to all! Byrdie
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
      Tool Box
      Newbie's Nest

      Comment


        Re: Newbies Nest

        Greetings Nesters,

        We had another nice day - thanks to Slo
        Still busy getting things together for Friday’s craft show. I know I would never be able to handle all this if AL was still controlling me so I am so grateful to be free!

        Slo, glad you had a day with the little ones. Sick or not it’s still a day well spent. What’s your plan for the apples? I’ve been cooking them in a skillet with a little non-dairy butter, just a few tbsp of brown sugar & some cinnamon & nutmeg, so good & they go with everything. I even freeze them to use later.

        Ava, wishing you safe travels &I sure hope your mom behaves for you. You have the ultimate patience with her apparently.
        I’m sure you’ll be able to tell your SIL no thanks, I don’t drink anymore.

        Byrdie, thinking of you & I hope yuo get what you need from yuor doc.

        Have a safe night in the nest everyone!
        Lav
        AF since 03/26/09
        NF since 05/19/09
        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

        Comment


          Re: Newbies Nest

          Ava - safe travels to you and your mum. Sorry it's for such a difficult family time.

          Byrdie - fingers crossed (but not eyes!) that you get good help from the Dr soon.

          Lav - those apples you described sound amazing. I hope all goes smoothly at your craft show.

          Slo - what a wonderful day with the little ones. A nap sounds like a great idea and having them both sleep at the same time must be somewhat rare. Curious to hear what you're going to do with your apples.


          Has anyone here ever tried acupuncture for pain? Or for depression/mood? I tried it a handful of times many years ago and didn't have great results (not bad, just sort of meh), but I'm thinking about trying it again. I think they've learned a lot in the past 20 years or so and maybe treatments are a bit more individualized. Would love to hear any input, positive or negative.

          We're over the hump and onward toward the weekend. Take care everyone!
          Toolbox/Toolkit

          Comment


            Re: Newbies Nest

            Good evening Nesters - wherever you are

            The nest has been very quiet, I just hope everyone is busy with their AF lives.

            Wags, I have not personally had accupuncture but I know many who have had it done. I talked my BIL into having it for his chronic & severe back pain but the results were minimal for him. I think his problems were mainly due to the hardware placed in his spine during multiple surgeries. I agree that certain practioners focus on certain problems so finding the right person is vital. I also would look into a Reiki practioner, energy healing is very common these days.

            Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.
            Heading out for my craft fair tomorrow afternoon/evening so not sure if I’ll be able to check in

            Lav
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment


              Re: Newbies Nest

              Originally posted by Lavande View Post
              I have to keep my thinking in the positive mode because I have a history of going dark & negative. It helps to stay in the light so to speak & we’ll be right there with you :hug:
              Hola nester's!

              Lav, i love your words above and relate to them strongly. I'm sure many of us do. I've found i have to consciously check in with myself every morning (as part of a self care routine of meditation/breathing and gratitude journalling and daily plan) to keep a positive mental attitude. I prefer to err on the side of light rather than darkness, my old friend :happy2: I've found acknowledging my penchant for finding sadness, melancholy etc. attractive and somehow a comfort is a lifesaver and very helpful. These days i acknowledge the 'dark side' attraction and don't fear it. But i respect it and know that i can disappear into the abyss easily if i allow myself to drift for more than a few days aimlessly. That's different to intentionally doing nothing and resting. I'm talking about drifting in a state of worry and fear. That's not healthy or fun. It used to feel safer and comfortable, until i examined that feeling and state of mind, realising it was taking me down and wasting my time holding me back from my dreams, goals, contentment, joy, and what i really want. Blah blah blah G man!

              Wags, no i haven't had acupuncture, but i'm a fan of Chinese medicine in principal. Good luck. Avoiding any regular feelings of overwhelm is a huge help for me. It means i avoid too much stress. This always = chopping back workload.

              Safe travels Ava. are u going to NSW? That border's open to us now? Cool.

              Surf's up Slo!

              Big waves evabody.
              Last edited by Guitarista; October 21, 2021, 06:23 PM.

              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

              Comment


                Re: Newbies Nest

                Lav and G - thanks for the input on acupuncture, or similar modalities. Anyone else have any experience (even vicarious)?

                Lav - hope your craft fair goes exceptionally well!

                G - I appreciate (and have learned from) your faithful commitment to your self-designed morning routine. I think I will develop something similar that suits my needs.


                Take care everyone.
                Toolbox/Toolkit

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                  Re: Newbies Nest

                  ]I have to keep my thinking in the positive mode because I have a history of going dark & negative. It helps to stay in the light so to speak & we’ll be right there with you
                  Lav, i love your words above and relate to them strongly. I'm sure many of us do. I've found i have to consciously check in with myself every morning (as part of a self care routine of meditation/breathing and gratitude journalling and daily plan) to keep a positive mental attitude.
                  Definitely a struggle for me as well. I've been intentionally trying to direct my thoughts in more positive directions and practicing mindfullness, some basic CBT stuff etc. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. The interaction of moods and thoughts is a complex issue.

                  Comment


                    Re: Newbies Nest

                    I talked to my daughter D2 this morning, on her day off (Fridays). She has been going for acupuncture on Fridays to hopefully increase blood flow to her uterus to hopefully increase the odds of a successful pregnancy next week when they implant the embryo for IVF. She doesn’t know if it will help or not, but is trying any modalities that she can think of to make this work.
                    Unfortunately her husband drew up and injected the wrong dose of progesterone into her on Wednesday, and now the doctor is saying the timing is off for preparing the uterus, and it might not work! Daughter is so distressed, but is trying her hardest not to be. She made up the dose as soon as she realized, and wants to go ahead and try for implantation anyways, after all the the six weeks of injecting all of these massively expensive drugs, and all the hope. They adjusted the timing of putting in the embryo by 3 hours, and hopefully it will work.

                    I’m doing absolutely nothing with my little bag of apples except eating them.

                    Good luck, Ava, with your difficult journey ahead. Difficult on several levels. Sadly, I have learned way to much about Narcissistic Personality Disorder lately in order to deal with my own mother with NPD. With her vision difficulties, I have been having to drive her a lot over the last year plus, and it is tough to drive with her as a companion passenger. So I understand what you mean.

                    I’m just way too stressed over this divorce. I’m having stomach issues now. Those were wise words, Lav. Yes, G, I’m going dark too much where it’s comfortable and familiar. I need to accept, let him go, and look at the benefits / the positive side of it. Just like we have to do with not drinking.

                    I hope you have a good craft fair, Lav!
                    Last edited by Slo; October 22, 2021, 09:10 AM.
                    Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

                    Comment


                      Re: Newbies Nest

                      Greetings Nesters,

                      Home early from the craft fair due to no customers. The event organizer forgot to advertize or otherwise promote the event so there were no people walking around to see what we had, sad. That was a first, haha! We found her & she admitted to being overwhelmed with her life right now so you couldn’t get mad. She’s invited us ( all the vendors) to come back on Nov 13, free of charge . I’ll be checking the weather first since it will be outside again. Not a big deal, just slighly annoying

                      G, my history of going dark is scary, I just won’t go there again. I ended up medicating with alcohol & we know how that goes. I found I was just beating myself up over & over & of course nothing got any better. Breaking free of all that was hard & I owe it to myself to stay in the light, it’s better here

                      Mulburry, it takes whatever it takes, right? I was willing to try anything to climb out of that dark hole. We are worth the hard work & effort!

                      Slo, wow your daughter is going thru so much right now. I hope everything works out OK for them & they have a successful pregnancy.
                      Even when we don’t think so there is a positive side to every situation. We have to practice looking for it but it’s there. Stress causes us all kinds pf physical ailments, we know that. Keep focused on good self care, you will get thru this & we’re here with yuou :hug:

                      Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

                      Lav
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                      Comment


                        Re: Newbies Nest

                        Lav - sorry to hear about the craft fair on all fronts. It's easy to understand the organizer being overwhelmed by life these days -- glad they were able to be honest about what happened, and hope that the Nov date turns out to be a gorgeous day for all. Yes -- stay in the light. It is, as you say, much better here.

                        Slo - your daughter must be so stressed and disappointed. I've not heard of acupuncture for that application but I can see how it might help. I hope you're enjoying your apples and savoring this pleasant piece of your life right now. Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences a person can go through. Be gentle with yourself :hug:


                        Good to see you Mulburry, G, and everyone else popping into the nest. It's the weekend but the train to boozeville has been permanently derailed.
                        Toolbox/Toolkit

                        Comment


                          Re: Newbies Nest

                          Hi Nest! I've missed you all. We vacationed, but have been back a week now and I have just. been. busy. I have had thoughts of alcohol though, but not too much. I talk myself right down, saying that I KNOW that's not what I really want - just a knee-jerk reaction to stress (and not checking in here).

                          AVA, you've certainly been busy! Bob is very handsome. Glad you are happy with your job now.

                          Slo, our fall colors are amazing here too. I bet the view from up high was amazing! Leaving the comfort of familiarity is hard. Leaving bad behavior is a good thing though, and I am excited for you to not be repeatedly treated badly.

                          Byrdie, any news on your eye issue? What are you creating with your chocolate?

                          LAV, what outdoor containers are you creating in the fall? Is it just the containers, or the plants too? I would have never guessed you were anything but positive all the way. You do a good job walking the talk!

                          Wags, I had acupuncture once, and it was too much for me - I came out of it really brain fogged. I think they just did it a little too deep as I am pretty sensitive. But I know lots of other people who have had great results, including a dog who was diagnosed with a terminal brain illness who is now completely on the mend!

                          Hi Mulberry!

                          We are off to our morning coffee run (chai for me). My husband is in a really grumpy mood for some reason - I dread when he walks down the stairs these days. He just puts "bummer" in our pleasant Saturday morning. I'll have to talk with him about it later. He is not in a mood to take it well - but I will do it anyway because it's getting old.

                          Anyway, I'm not a drinker - I learned that the hard way. And I don't want to be one moving forward. Hi to everyone, and I hope your day is positive!
                          Last edited by KENSHO; October 23, 2021, 03:51 PM.
                          Kensho

                          Done. Moving on to life.

                          Comment


                            Re: Newbies Nest

                            Good evening Nesters,

                            We’ve had a few quick rain showers today & now it’s feeling a bit chillier, season appropriate actually!

                            Wags, I looked up the long term weather forecast & it’s going to be a rainy 50 degree day here on Nov 13 so that’s a no go for me, haha! The last thing I need is a ton of wet fabrics on my hands, no thanks! Maybe the winter indoor events will come back some day, maybe

                            Kensho, welcome back, glad to see you!
                            We took a class at Longwood Gardens & we each built an oudoor container to bring home. They supplied everything & we got to choose the plants we liked. It was a fun day for sure. I hope your husband’s mood has improved, it’s boriing hanging out with grumps, haha!
                            You know, I was always a positive/hopeful person but after years of living with a chronically depressed spouse I became depressed as well. I worked myself half to death to ‘try to make him happy’, that didn’t work & I lost my way for a while. I’ll never let that happen again, never!

                            Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

                            Lav
                            AF since 03/26/09
                            NF since 05/19/09
                            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                            Comment


                              Re: Newbies Nest

                              Hola nester's near and not so far,

                              Slo, i've had one appt. a few weeks ago with a Chinese medicine doc over a simple issue that is now identified and turns out is no big deal. She gave me some general herbs to help clean out waste products built up and trapped in our organs over the years. I feel pretty fine usually anyway, but reckon i feel a bit 'lighter' somehow, so those herbs may've helped. Point i wanted to add is this doc also treats infertility and has some photo's on her wall of happy customers, so i wish your daughter and hubby well.

                              Glad you took back your life and are here with us every day Lav. It strikes me that we develop a level of self awareness in this game which really helps us know if/when we're gittin too wobbly and approaching the danger zone. Good luck with the craft fair in november.

                              Yo Byrdy! W' dup homes.

                              Friend Kensho. Good to see you.

                              Wags, i hear a train a comin'.....comin 'round the bend........i hear that whistle blowin'.....i ain't goin back again. That whistle's gittin fainter and fainter these days.

                              Good to see you Mulberry. Glad to hear you have some good days too. I discovered one long known path toward incresing the odds of good days is to turn up for myself every morning and check in. How am i feeling? Physically, emotionally, mentally. Anything i need to address today? Where's my head at this morning? Where do i want my head to be at today? What does my heart say? What do i want from my life and what's the daily plan to move towards it? Daily Repetition is how i build new healthy habits of my own design. Keep it rolling friend.

                              Safe travels Ava!

                              Big hello's and waves to all. Surf's up.

                              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                              Comment


                                Re: Newbies Nest

                                Hi to everyone from the rainy Pacific Northwest of the U.S. Kind of a dreary day actually. I had a weird thought today that worried me for just a minute: "What harm would it do if I just had one drink -- just to feel that light buzz???" Thank god for tools like Playing It Forward. I was able to quickly call out al's lie about that -- there is no such thing as "just one" and the harm of even starting down that path would be great. I distracted myself with something else and pretty soon the thought was history. Sigh... I wonder if these occasional (rare actually) thoughts will ever totally go away? I guess I just have to assume they won't so that I keep my tools sharp and ready.

                                Glad to see folks checking in. Kensho good to see you and hope your vacation went well.

                                Happy Sundays to G, Lav, Slo and everyone else stopping by the nest this weekend. Be good to yourselves!
                                Toolbox/Toolkit

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