Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick sober fly-by tonight. I need to read back and catch up with the last week or so of posts, as I think I missed several of them somehow.

Hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy the extra hour of sleep if you live in an area that is ending daylight saving time!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters
So happy to be sober on this Sunday morning. Hubs had wine out last night: 2 kinds...one for him to drink and a nice sherry for the butternut squash soup he made. It was really good (the soup that is).

Lots of good stuff going on in the nest...Slo, happy for your daughter, but I know what "cautiously optimistic" looks like. Your hubs sounds like he is cut from some of the same cloth as mine.

Last night was a struggle because I'm feeling a bit down. But right after dinner, I took Bonnie (Snoots) for a long walk. Then I took a walk by myself...I like to walk without stoping every 10 feet for Bonald (my son's name for her) to sniff something. Then I retreated to the basement to do some sewing. I found cute Pug flannel that I want to make PJ pants out of and started that process...and finished yet another bandanna for Bonnie. By the time I was done with all that, it was time to go to bed.

This morning the wine was still in the kitchen and I asked hubs to stow them away. He complied without a word. Yay. Finally getting through to him. Yes, he could cook without alcohol, but I cannot see that happening, so we will go with this.

I'm in the dumps because my birthday trip to visit my friend in North Carolina (was supposed to leave on 11/13) has been canceled...or at least postponed. He Mom passed away this past Wednesday and the funeral is this Wednesday. I will get to see my friend at the funeral, because it is in my general vicinity, but that is not the same as 4 days of fun, yoga and relaxation. We call this a 'yoga retreat' however there is not a lot of yoga...lol. Also missing the kids, especially on weekends.

But I made it. Other than times like last night, the pull is getting less. I weigh the "advantages" of an AL buzz over a good night's sleep. Good night's sleep is winning!

Take care all, and keep up the good work.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Cool day here but sunny, perfect for me

G, you sound just a bit like me. I don’t care who you are, if you’re annoying I won’t give you my time, haha!! I have fallen for the ‘we’re family’ line for the last time. I get to choose who is in my life, much better that way.

Wags, now that daylight savings time is over we’re back on Amish time, haha! They don’t believe in or change their clocks. They go to work when it’s light & that’s all there is to it, lol. Sometimes during harvest they take lanterns out into their fields if they want an early start.

Belle, sewing has been a life saver for me. I took sewing lessons at age 12 & found that I could hide away from all the family drama locked up in my room with my grandmother’s sewing machine. It was a safe space for me. When my kids got on my nerves I would disappear into my sewing space & they knew better than to disturb me . Sorry your trip was postponed, hope you can get there soon.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Belle - way to practice staying busy during the witching hour. I always wished I had the patience it takes to learn to sew - I get so frustrated "sew" easily... (see what I did there...).

Slo, glad you stuck up for yourself. Congratulations on the coming baby! How exciting.

Linda, so so sad about Jasper. I'm glad you got to visit.

Byrdie, I missed the story of your niece and abusive husband. That is so challenging to deal with. We have really good organizations nearby to help deal with this - get the strength to stay away, etc. I hope she has a lot of support wherever she is.

Lav, I love that story. The grandparent relationship is so great. I'm glad you got some time with him!

I have no excuse for not being here - just out of practice even though I need you all and this community. I'm having some challenges at work and with my kid, but I'm not going to drink because I don't drink!

Happy SOBER Sunday,
Pav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

evening nesters

Home safe and sound, driving over 1000 kilometres really takes it out of you but it was nice to see the family and little Jasper. His breathing episodes are becoming more frequent and its terrible to see him struggling for oxygen. they do have a machine at home. his smile just melts your heart and his parents are wonderful with what they are doing. Building memories is very important to them.

Oh Lav, i agree with you that my mother is severely depressed but you cant tell her that. Nothing the matter with her, she will tell you. I dont do negative very well anymore.

Belle, great work on keeping yourself busy. some days there are just not enough hours in the day and i remember when i was freshly sober, i thought i would be forever bored. Carl sniffs and pees on everything too but i dont mind mostly. we have started walking with Bob and my daughter and its hilarious, Bob just loves it and its so funny to watch.

My sons friend who was on heroin and relapsed seems to be getting his act together. he calls me most days and every day he gets a talking to from me, i must be doing something right as he keeps ringing. its so hard to get help, the waiting list is so long but he did sound good today and he is starting to be more positive which is a good sign.

Daughter 2, got her 2nd vax today. You just cant do anything if you dont have proof of being double vaxed so we are pretty strict and boosters are coming in now. Its nice to have the freedom again but it took me 4 days to walk into a shop when i went away.

Time to wind down, did some whipper snipping today and gardening and work and shopping and a walk.

take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’ve been getting tired and falling asleep too early in the evening lately, then waking up too early. The end of Daylight Saving Time has that moving way in the wrong direction: I woke up at 3:00am! Would prefer to just stay on “Amish” time year round.
At least I successfully fought off the cold germs from daughter & her two kids, and kept it from going full-blown; but it took all day Saturday to fight it off. Now I’m ready to drive up there tonight to babysit again this week. It would be nice if they could be well instead of sick for a change.

Ava, people with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) have trouble admitting that anything is wrong with them; since it’s a shame-based disorder, and they have to be perfect. So your mother can’t admit to being depressed, anymore than my similarly-afflicted mother can admit to having hearing loss.

Ava, I can see why you are such a help to your young friend fighting addiction, since your no-nonsense pep talks here are such a help to me! You truly are paying it forward.

Lav, oh I see! The pillows are given as newborn gifts, to be used when the child is a toddler.
I love how you, and Belle and NS, have the creative endeavor of sewing to fall back on when stressed. It fills a hole that no longer drinking has left. I’m glad that you learned that skill when you were young. But, not for me: I never learned, and would find it “sew” frustrating too.

Belle, our husbands are cut out of the same cloth, thanks to their father’s’ communication styles and ways of being. Like G said, they “have a lot of old learned behaviors that they’re often not aware of, or don’t know how to change the operating system “. I see HB’s brother struggling with the same thing: his first wife divorced him, much to his shock; and now he has alienated all three of his children, much to his confusion.

Pav, good to see you! You have a lot on your plate, and extra challenges besides.

Wags, I hope you had a good weekend that was mostly free of tutoring.
Gman, did your weekend include making music?

Sending Indian Summer weather your way, Lav!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters..
i've been MIA, i know..
i'm a complete wreck and am not sure where i stand..
my sister went missing 4 wks ago and it's causing so much heartache.. and of course i know that i could ne most helpful if i were AF!
but i'm not.
i've had dreams of being "clean" and of some of you..
xxx

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. You stick around here and tell us what you need. We are here for you.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I find that I just can’t acquiesce to HB, even though it could possibly save the marriage.

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], please quit second-guessing your decision. Barring a miracle (much greater than your total submission to him would be), he is who he is. He does not treat you with kindness, respect, or even normal human decency. He makes me REALLY MAD

I also am a Standard Time WRECK. I had to fall back 2 hours on Saturday night due to the time change and travel and I'm as messed up as I am every time I go to CA. I can go east (or spring forward) with no trouble at all but west/fall back is really tough. I wish one of my gifts of sobriety was sleeping well like you do, BelleGirl!

I'm so sorry your sister is missing, LC. That is so scary and calls for clear thinking and decision-making. I hope you are able to get yourself in position to help your parents and her. You've done it before and you can do it again. Use this terrible situation as a springboard to the life you want and deserve. xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Apparently we are heading up to near 70 degrees tomorrow, crazy weather but it will be enjoyable.

LC, so sorry about your sister. Know that we are here for you in any way we can. If you’re having dreams about being sober, maybe the spirits are trying to tell you what you need to do :hug:

NS, changing the clocks one way or another messes with all of us I think. I know my dog always has a hard time too pestering me for dinner at 4 pm, haha!

Kensho, hello to you!!

Slo, yep the pocket pillows are all about getting the young kids interested in reading - start them early
The sewing started at age 12 for me but the machine embroidery didn’t start until age 50. Opening a small home based embroidery business was my post nursing job & it was good. I kept it going for 15 years then closed it down, you do get tired of stitching up the same corporate logos on 50 shirts, haha! I turned to crafting so I wouldn’t end up sitting in front of the TV
I’ve experienced the wrath of several passive aggressive individuals, friends & family members. I don’t believe you can change them but I do believe they could stop themselves if they chose to do so. The safest thing to do is avoid them I think.

Ava, glad you’re home safe after your epic journey!
I’ve known so many older individuals just sink into depression & refuse to lift a finger to help themselves. It doesn’t have to be that way in this day & age especially. That’s great news that your young friend is doing better & staying positive.

Pav, good to see you!
With my recent experience i believe I could break any kid out of school an hour early on Friday afternoons, haha!
It’s a busy time of the year so stay close to us & we will hold each other up, OK?

Hello to anyone I missed & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - so sorry to hear about your sister. Sending you support and strength. Don't give up on that dream -- it's yours and you can do it.

Ava - glad you're home safe from such a long drive.

Byrdie - I missed your post about your niece too. I'm sorry to hear she's in such a tough situation.

Pav - great to see you, and I hope you'll stop by more often. I also hope things work out for you with your kid and with work very soon. Of course you don't drink.


All good here. Last week before test day for several students so I'm crazy busy but just for the next 4-5 days and then it'll ease up again.

Take care everyone!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

LC i hope they find your sister soon. Thinking of you. Check in here for support, i'm not sure how i would have gotten through the last few weeks without MWO and my friends here.

Oh Slo, i had a chuckle, my mothers sooooooo deaf and didnt admit it for years and i am sure she is selectively deaf on occasion or just plain rude.

I think i have hit a wall now being home, had a lovely chat to my psychologist today so that was much needed but i just feel tired, need to find that motivation somewhere and use it.

We have daylight savings now and i love it, its so nice to have more daylight hours and atm its not too warm.

Daughter had her 2nd vax yesterday and is not well today, been giving her paracetamol and nurofen, hope she feels better tomorrow.

Dont work too hard Wags, nice to know thought there is light at the end of the tunnel.

time to go to the shops, i need a potato to cook dinner, wish i had of remembered that yesterday when i was out.

take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, I’m so sorry. Four weeks is a long time for your sister to be missing. She has alcohol problems too, right? What a worry. It’s good to hear from you. You can do it though! -you can leave the booze behind.

Ava, my mother doesn’t listen, so it was hard to realize that she had damaged her ears and gotten hard of hearing when she never “heard” anyways because she wasn’t listening!

I see what you’re saying, Lav; that stitching logos over & over would get old. Now you can be creative and embroider more for fun.

I guess that’s exactly what I’m doing, NS; I’m second-guessing. I guess I want what I can’t have; I want him to love me, and I want to have a loving relationship with him. And that hasn’t ever really been.

Good luck getting your students through their big exams, Wags!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Out & doing a lot of running around today, glad to be back & out of traffic. We were back in our old home town, we have no traffic here of course
Got the news today that the daughter of one of my college friends has been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer., she’s 45. I know colon cancer has been increasing in younger adults but this news really hit home. Our daughters used to play together when they were toddlers, such sad news.

Wags, I hope your students appreciate your efforts to help them through their nerve wracking testing. Take care of yourself as well.

Ava, enjoy your extra daylight as we ar enow plunged into darkness here, haha!!
Hope your daughter feels better quickly, the vaccines can be a little harsh but they’re still vital.

Slo, I understand your thoughts about the husband, I had the same about mine. We don’t always get what we think we want & sometimes it means new doors may be opening. I found solace in enjoying my grandchildren & you will do that as well. I have also accepted that they can’t give what they don’t really have, if you know what I mean. Things are different but they’re OK. Focus on what makes YOU happy :hug:

Hello to the rest of the group & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in with another sober Tuesday. 3 more busy days and then a break -- yay!

I could NEVER have done this while drinking, and I remind myself of that every day. Even if the brief temptation arises I think about all I would risk (and how hard I've worked to build this business) and it stops that thought in its tracks.

Sending hugs and support to all who are struggling, whether with al or with life (or both).