Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters..

Day five and I'm happy to be alive.. (thinking of Gman.. you did daily rhymes for AGES, remember?:happy2

I so appreciate all the messages, positive thoughts and love you all sent out.. I had a night of not sleeping at all and was a zombie for a day, but other than that have been doing much better, exercising each day and being very careful to eat enough of the right kinds of food. I know that sugar is not my friend!!!

My sister and her 2 cats showed up on my mom's doorstep Friday night. My mom had been notified by the police in the county where she'd filed the missing persons report that my sister had been thrown out of a motel in another county and the police there had contacted them to say that they'd spoken with her, she was alright but didn't want to have contact with her family. Four hours later she was at my mom's, annoyed that she'd filed a report.. in her mind, she was on a road trip, touring the state to look for options to live other than Phoenix. She was gone for almost 5 weeks.. my mom is relieved to have her home, but isn't sure what to make of it. My sister has gained a bit of weight (when she left she weighed around 110 lbs and she's 5'8.) and took good care of her cats.. I spoke with her for a while and she sounded better than she has in the past year.. a bit down, as she didn't find a place she could imagine living, but she asked questions about me, the girls and the cats, she said she felt better physically than she has in ages and more stable mentally.. she still gets intensely angry but she feels more in control of her thoughts/reactions.. she's off all her meds, except for the weed which she's cut back on. She doesn't really have a plan. Is thinking about getting therapy (my stepdad asked if she'd thought about that) and while she doesn't want to be medicated anymore she can imagine talk therapy. She's planning on staying with them for a bit.. doesn't want to get "stuck" in phx.. but as now is the most gorgeous time of year, maybe she'll stay put for awhile. I'm very relieved that she felt like she could come back.. though don't really have any idea how she really is and my mom is skeptical.. I guess we just have to take it one day at a time..

You all inspire me and give me hope that I can have a great life as well be able to get through all the shitty times without the crutch of alcohol.. which doesn't help at all, quite the opposite. Dealing with the raw feelings, as you said Slo.. thinking of you, too..

Wishing everyone a nice Sunday.. lots of love and thank you so much.:love:

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Weekend greetings,

I’m taking my neighbor to and fro to the tire store today while her car is worked on, and going to Starbucks with her and her daughter. Then out to my condo model for the last visit and photos and consultation before they close down the model tomorrow. I want it to be built the way I want it!

It was nice to see young daughter a bit! She is feeling much, much better, and is swimming pretty well too. Their team won against the opposing Division 3 college, but it looks like they have a much bigger swim team; so to be expected.

I visited with my twin sister on the phone for a long time yesterday, so that felt good.

Relief that your sister is home safe now, LC. Sugar might be your friend as you transition off of alcohol. I remember [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION] used suckers/lollipops to help her through cravings, and that was helpful advice for me. I used various small candies that I kept with me in my purse.

Lav, keeping busy with embroidery, and with a goal in sight! That’ll get you through the dull November days. I’m an early January baby, and am comfortable with Winter and love snow too!

Wishing everyone an easy AF day.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yo Slo, LC and y'all,

Great news LC! I wish your sister the best of all good things on her journey. Same for you. Life has gotten better for me as a direct consequence of zero boozin'. Along with a focus on personal growth and a little daily self care. One thing i do is git comfortable wit gittin uncomfortable. i.e. i try to put myself out there into uncomfortable situations. Nothing major, just things such as a business related conversation with another business/trade, or with a financier. These convo's relate to my current pursuit of property related wheeling and dealing. All new and strange to me, but i'm aiming for my own house soon and a few bucks to do more of what i like.

Big waves to evabody. Surf's up! Just do your best friends.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Mostly cloudy & chilly here - normal weather for a change! Now I’m seeing predictions for snow the first week of December. That would be pretty early for us so we’ll see.

LC, you sound much better & I’m happy to hear your sister is OK. It must be hard on your Mom but i’m sure she’s relieved to see her. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to have family disappearing like that. I hope she finds the right help & can settle down soon. You keep looking after yourself.

Wags, I’ll take all the advice you can offer on this bike, don’t hold back. Glad your weekend is going well

Slo, you’re getting a brand new condo - cool! Yep I would definitely want it done my way too.
Congrats on your daughter’s team win, awesome! Hope your sister is doing well.
I’ve always had the ability to keep myself busy or entertained. I think I learned that skill early on after growing up with 3 brothers, ugh, haha!

G, you learn something new every time you talk to someone in another trade, that’s great! I hope this coming year is your turn for home buying

Hello to the rest of the group & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

Woohoo! All of my students got through their difficult test this weekend and they all did great! Now I get a bit of a break before I take on a new crew (I already have about 6 for January/February but that'll eventually go up to 10-12).

LC - good news about your sister and about YOU. Hang in there and stick to your plan friend -- you deserve all the self-care.

Lav - let us know if easing up on the tension helps bring relief to your knees. If not, we can trouble shoot the seat position (forward/backward) as it might be just a tough angle for your knees. Little adjustments make a big difference on bikes!

Slo - sounds like a good weekend for you. I hope your condo turns out to be exactly what you want.

Happy new weeks everyone!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Quick check in for me.

LC glad to hear your sister is home and you stayed sober through this time. I always felt proud after i accomplished my "firsts" sober. Keep up the great work, you will never regret being sober.

Slo will your condo be close to the grandbabies? Is your other daughters pregnancy going well. Your husband is a dick, that is all i will say lol and you will be mighty relieved when this is all over and you can get on with your life, one less stress is always good. thinking of you but you are a strong woman and will get through this.

I had a quiet weekend, pulled bindi's (burs) out of my lawn, mindless entertainment and only stopped when my back ached which didnt take long. the weather was cold and rainy so stayed inside mostly, did tackle cleaning a bit of the garage also. I did watch the oxycontin doco and the show with Nicole Kidman in it, i am so not good with remembering tv shows and enjoyed both of them. i love remembering shows (not names) lol. Another bonus of being sober.

I took Carl and Bob for a walk today on a double lead and they actually did really well, bob just bounces along trying to keep up with Carl.

Going into work tomorrow, they want an appearance, makes me feel like royalty lol. just a waste of time really and all i do is drink coffee and socialise and then ping off the walls for the rest of the day.

Great work Wags on getting your students through, hope you get a break now.

off to bed i go, take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh G, it is hard to put oneself out into unfamiliar so uncomfortable situations! Taking a little step each day helps. That’s some news that you may be getting a house! I know nothing about economics & finances, so I will soon be needing to stretch myself into the same unfamiliar territory.

I could finally get out for a dog walk today (just one, so no double leads!) as the rain, sleet, snow mix finally quit. How nice that the boys walked together cooperatively, Ava!

Wags, of course your students did well, because they had a skilled tutor! That has to feel like an accomplishment for you too.

Today is three weeks after IVF, and daughter 2 is still pregnant! But she has had two early miscarriages, so is still trying not to get too excited. Her HB injects her with progesterone twice a day 12 hours apart on into late December, so hopefully that keeps it going. She said she will feel more confident when she sees a heartbeat during the ultrasound in a couple weeks.

My soon-to-be-ex-sis-in-law, HB’s brother’s wife, just invited me to Thanksgiving with them all at their house! I can’t see HB doing that. I just might take her up on it!

LC, your relief must be palpable! Now you can focus on keeping yourself on track.

Take care everyone, including our missing Nesters who are never far from our thoughts.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It suddenly looks & feels like real fall here & that’s OK with me
We got our Moderna boosters today so keeping fingers crossed I don’t react as harshly as I did with the last one. So far, so good!

Wags, i am happy for you & your students, congrats & enjoy some free time now!
I put a few miles on the bike today with the resistance lowered just a bit & it was much better on the aging knees, haha! If any other problem creeps up I’ll be sure to ask for your help, thanks.

Ava, nice to hear you are out & about with the doggies & I imagine they must be enjoying it too.
Hope. Your day in the office goes well & you don’t hurt yourself bouncing off the walls, haha!

Slo, that’s great that your daughter is doing well. Prayers that it continues for her :hug:
Maybe. You can double check with your SIL before heading to her house for Thanksgiving - just to keep things cool & calm. I have a great relationship with an ex-SIL, no reason you can’t too.

LC, hope everything is OK with you.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Flying by sober! Happy Mondays and Tuesdays everyone!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Wow, LC - what a situation you were in. Mental health issues like that are so vexing - the medication makes them feel like they don't need the medication. I hope it all resolves ok.

Wags, I'll take some bike advice! I watched something that said my knees should be at a right angle when they are up, but I can't put my seat back that far, so I'm guessing I read it wrong. Do you have a guide or a place online I can look to get a better fit? I have a sit up bike I got during the start of the pandemic. I think it was a good purchase for winter exercise, but I need to get on it more!

Lav, great getting on the bike. I'll use you as inspiration!

Slo, that's wonderful about your daughter. Fingers crossed. I hope you have an enjoyable Thanksgiving wherever you end up! Take care...

Mr. G, you're my sober idol. I have been sitting in COLD water once or twice a week and have built up to about 2 minutes. Not yet swimming in the ocean, but it is a jolt to the system.

I am very glad I got sober when I did, and still regret that I didn't do it earlier. I don't dwell on it, and I feel grateful that I did it when I did. I do know I missed some things either because I was planning around drinking, or I was absent into the glass on many evenings...

And my goodness, I hate these dark days. I couldn't really live any further north and survive. I may have to live at the equator in my older age! I am so tired at night. Maybe I'll clear up in a little bit...

Happy SOBER Monday!

x
Pav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, I’m just glad I finally got sober. Things were accelerating and going downhill fast for me, finally. If I would’ve kept my very first quit going-2 months in the Fall of 2012 -then that would have been better; however, I was proactively quitting at that time, rather than getting deep into destructive addiction; and may not have realized just how bad it could get -so maybe I, and others near me, would not have realized how necessary and mandatory it is that I never have another drink. So this way was actually probably better, since I take my sobriety very seriously now.

LC, it is a sad, ongoing situation with your poor sister. But things are hopefully heading in the right direction.

Ava, how was your royal in-person appearance at work?! It does seems like a mix of at-home and in-office work is best, or it can be just a bunch of socializing if always at the office, where it is hard to concentrate and focus on work.

I am finally getting more to acceptance that I really am getting divorced, and I really am leaving my beautiful but burdensome home and familiar surroundings. How did you put that, Lav? The art of detachment and accepting reality…it has been a hard place to get to. It’s almost like the forceful waves of grief when someone dies, and trying to get through that without drowning. Well, we spent the Summer “trying to stay together”, so I WAS living on hope for much of it! But I suspect that I was the only one really trying. There is relief too though, since I have been dreaming of getting out of this for quite some time now.

Thankfully baby Mabel is taking a long nap, since her teething pain seems to be bothering her quite a bit, and she’s sneezing & coughing.

Another 24!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

I feel the urgency of. The holiday season rushing in on me, haha! Part of the problem is having two family birthdays before the end of the month, son & grandson. Speaking of grandson, he’s turning 13 & his arrival is what made me finally pull my head out of my a$$ & get serious about quitting for good. I slowed my drinking way down when he was born but It took me a few more months to finally bite the bullet & quit for good. I was & still am so grateful for him

Pav, I’ll never become a pro on this bike but at least I know I am doing something good for myself. I know my legs feel stronger & that is a blessing. Now we just have to figure out how not to hurt ourselves while riding

Slo, I knew I HAD to detach myself because he was running on pure ego at that point. He wasn’t making any rational decisions or moves & I wasn’t about to fall into that trap too. I needed to protect myself & most importantly my quit! I’m really not sure why he returned after 4 years but he did have an improved attitude so I figured we could work out some sort of understanding. These type of people are so difficult to work with especially when you can’t trust half of what they’re saying. Strengthen your shield, redraw boundary lines, anything you have to do to protect yourself & your quit :hug:

Hello to Wags, G, & everyone.
Let’s all have a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!!

Day 8 here and I'm beginning to feel normal.. have almost caught up on all the sleep I missed, though I'm still quite tired. Also has to do with the short days, as you mentioned, Pav.. I think it's dark at 4:30.. yuck.
Off to do some exercise while I'm feeling (half) motivated!

Thinking of you all.. everyone sounds to be doing well. Big hugs all around.xxxx:love:

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I feel the season, too! We actually did some Christmas shopping this weekend. I ALWAYS end up out shopping the day or two before and it makes my moods even worse. My goal this year is to be done with everything at the start of December so I can just ease into the holiday, cook, eat good food and have fun.

Detachment from things over which you have no control - it has beens so important to my sobriety. Letting my ego know it wasn't in control ALL the time. Sorry it has been so painful, Slo, but it sounds like it was much needed. Of course you're mourning a loss.

Happy SOBER Hump Day,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Just when I was getting used to colder weather tomorrow sounds like it will be a throwback to early fall - 70 degrees! What?
No wonder we’re all getting goofy right now. We did our our boosters on Monday & have had no real problems, thank the universe

LC, awesome on your 1 week, 1 day AF :welldone:
You’re doing every thing right, keep doing that

Pav, it’s so true, we really don’t have total control over much in our lives. BUT remaining AF - that’s easy once we commit ourselves!! In all this time, i have never once felt the need to start drinking again. How about that? All it took was a real change in my thinking & keeping my promise to myself. It becomes second nature after a while & it is a true blessing.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav