Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Yep, controlling what i can...i.e. ME, and letting the rest go.

Big waves to all.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Last day with baby granddaughter, then get home as quickly as I can tonight, unpack and re-pack, and take a red-eye flight out tomorrow morning for nephew’s wedding. I think I’m fine with it, but my dreams are telling me otherwise: I’m having lots of vivid dreaming about drinking and being pleasantly inebriated while socializing, then remembering: “Oops, I’m supposed to be AF!”, then trying to do it alcohol-free…so I guess the upcoming boozy celebrations are weighing on me after all.

“Detachment from things over which you have no control”…need to keep that in my toolbox.

Lav, so you basically have five upcoming holidays rather than three! And a teenaged grandson! My, they do grow quickly.

LC, once you get that first week accomplished, then you are on your way. And you are on your way!

I hope [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION]’s eye is seeing better.

Wish me luck for the weekend!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I guess the temp did reach near 70 today, crazy! Rain moving in now followed by some colder air. No more outside projects for me this year.

G, life is so much easier when we finally give up trying to control things

Slo, I hope baby Mabel is feeling better by now. I also hope your wedding trip goes well.
Make it easier on yourself by not focusing on the booze but the people instead. I’ve done that any times & it really helps. It does take practice to learn to socialize without alcohol, but we can do anything we want, right?
Enjoy the getaway! Yes, grandchildren do grow up awfully fast as you will see for yourself.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - I'm jealous of your balmy weather -- it was in the 40s (F) here today which is darn cold for this part of the world.

LC - one week in the books and you've got this!

Slo - allow yourself all the time you need to grieve the loss of your marriage and home. At the same time, kudos on thinking about what you can/cannot control, as that is an important stepping stone in the path toward happiness.


Pav, G - good to see you both. Pav I'll reply about the bike more fully this weekend, but it's easier (and better) to set your seat height according to your leg position when your foot and pedal are at the bottom of the pedal stroke. You want just the slightest bend in your leg when your foot is at the bottom. In other words, your leg will be just shy of fully extended at that point in the full circle of the pedal. Make sense?


Hellos and waves everyone!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Thanks, Wags. I think I have the height down, I just feel like the bike can't be adjusted front and back enough. But then I see photos of other stationary bike riders and I think I'm ok. I'll also take to heart your advice to Lav. I think I go too hard for someone who doesn't ride much. For me it is my upper glutes and lower back that can get achy - probably because I don't use those muscles enough??? Anyway - I'll look forward to hearing any more stationary bike advice...

Slo, you don't need luck this weekend. You need to go into the wedding with the mindset that you don't drink - then adjust accordingly. For about the first year I was quit I would just eat whatever I wanted. Especially at a wedding - have whatever you want! Always have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand, and get out on the dance floor as much as possible. As an old MWO poster 3June said - if only one, why not none? Let's face it - we don't want just one drink. So you may as well keep it at zero. You need your wits about you to navigate everything that's coming up - no amount of "relax" during a wedding is worth it.

I ended up getting sober in time to help my mom nurse my dad through a long and terrible illness. I was SO glad I was sober during this time. More than once I was the one who could drive to the hospital in the evening after cocktail hour for everyone else. It was still painful - there's not getting around that. I just could navigate it all so much better.

TGIF! Speaking of food...I am going to a friend's house for dinner on Saturday and she makes the BEST food. Can't wait! Happy SOBER weekend,

xo
Pav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m here in Texas now. So far it’s fun being on a getaway! Sorry if I implied that I’m afraid that I’ll drink. I won’t, because I don’t drink! I meant more like, wish me luck that I can have a good time AF! I wasn’t consciously nervous about this at all; it’s just my nightmares were telling me otherwise.
Thanks for the mantra to focus on the people, not the booze. And indulge in the eating! I’m leaving soon for the meet & greet that my brother & his wife are hosting.
I will have my non-alcoholic drink in hand at all times, because I asked my nephew to please provide non-alcoholic beer. So if he didn’t know that auntie has alcohol problems, he does now. And that’s ok: I’m proud to be AF.

Baby Mabel is fine now, and was only left with a bit of a dry cough the last couple of days.

TGIF, Pav! Happy weekend to all! Thanks for having my back.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Friday Nesters,

We’re back into seasonal; weather now, currently 35 degrees. I’m one of the few people on the planet that actually prefers these temps, haha!!

Hello to Wags & Pav.
My knees have been better the past few days so my bike is getting a workout. I now have it set up in my work shop so when my embroidery machines are running I can hop on the bike.

Slo, glad you are enjoying your trip. I hope the wedding is lovely.
Glad to hear Mabel is doing better too.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest. I've been so absent! Just wanted to check in tonight. We leave for the mountains tomorrow, and I will be reading back then. Hopefully everyone has been doing well!!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy almost weekend everyone! I had an unexpected day totally off today so we did some errands and took a walk in a favorite neighborhood. I actually lived near that neighborhood several years ago (before I met my wife) while I was still drinking. Today we walked by several little restaurants I used to love to get take-out from when I was on a drinking binge. Just walking by was actually bittersweet - like I remembered and missed the food (super yummy Thai at one place, Mexican from 2 others) but felt a bit of regret over the heavy drinking that often went with it. I think I'd like to try getting food from each place again so I can really enjoy it and remember it the next day!

I will say, today was filled with really enraging and discouraging news. I can hardly take the political divisions in this country (U.S.) any more. It's so disheartening and honestly depressing.

For those of you who live elsewhere in the world, how are things in your country these days? Are there places where people feel optimistic and happy? Where it feels like progress is happening and where people are still kind to each other?

I'm gonna take a news break for at least the weekend just to get out of this funk. Drinking isn't an option of course, but sometimes I remember why I wanted to just be numb.

Sorry to be such a downer tonight. I'm sure it'll pass but I have to take some steps to help move that along and process the blues I'm feeling right now. Good thing I have tools for doing that!

Take care and stay safe everyone.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

congrats LC on your week and a bit now, keep being accountable.

Slo, i hope you enjoy the wedding and i bet you will. i think our dreams prep us for the reasons why we dont drink. my daughter has a slight al problem at the moment, like is there such a thing as slight? Nope, i tried to speak to her today and of course she dragged up my drinking and as i said to her that if i could take back the past i would in a heartbeat but i cant but i can be there for her now. she has been in some really shitty relationships and has no self confidence and doesnt like/love herself. it breaks my heart to see her and brings back to me why i dont want al in my life, it destroys your soul in every way and atm its her coping mechanism.

Wags, we arent doing too bad now with covid, 90% vaxed but have to show our vax cert or cant get in to shops etc. people are protesting saying its their right to not be vaxed which is fine but as a health care worker why should we treat them in a hospital and put our lives at risk. i dont think anyone ran out to get vaxed it is a necessity to get us out of this crap. i have a daughter that doesnt want to be vaxed but she does want to visit her cousing and baby jasper while he is alive so she has no real choice if she wants to. patients at the hospital are sucking my will to live right out of me, i think they have become ruder and self centred and demanding. I just get on with my life and be as respectful as i can. Hopefully next year will be better.

Today i went with my man friend to a nursery and i bought a bird bath for mum for her birthday and he bought me a couple of plants so that was nice. we were going to actually go out to dinner and sit down as we can now but he had an urgent work job he had to do. oh well, next time. we can shop without masks now and that is a real spin out, so not used to that one.

Wow Lav a teenage grandson, time has flown.

Coming up to 8 years soon and i cant wait to get to ten. typical lol. double figures in years now that would be something, but i could not wait to get to double figures in days and then triple figure days.

My sons friend is doing well in his sobriety, he sounds good on the phone, he is back with his mum and he has a job. i am trying to get him to go to a NA meeting as i keep telling him he needs to be accountable each and every day, no one understands an addict like another addict.

well enough waffling, time to watch the idiot box.

happy travels Kensho.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Feeling chilly here now, more seasonable I guess.
Nothing super exciting to report, ran errands, fed animals, that sort of thing.

Kensho, I hope you have a safe & happy holiday weekend in the mountains

Wags, of course the news is depressing. This entire year has been depressing, honestly. People have been driven out of their damn minds I think with so much going on. Stepping away from the TV & radio for a few days helps, I do it too from time to time. I’m not quite ready to give upon humanity yet but this year has been tiresome. Relax & have a peaceful weekend :hug:

Ava, good to see you. Sorry your daughter is feeling so low. Hopefully things turn around soon for her. I have thought so many times since the pandemic started ‘glad i don’t drink’ because this would be the year I did myself in, no kidding. Keeping the tools in the tool box sharp 7 ready to put to use at the drop of a hat.
Yep, my grandson was a newborn when I found this site. I had to make this quit last for the both of us. Time flies, huh?

I hope everyone is having a decent weekend & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest

I've been on my own for a few days and have made the most of it. So glad to no longer drink those free days away!

I'm also not paying attention to the world for a bit. I don't know what came up on Friday and perhaps really don't want to... Yesterday I streamed the new Adele album a few times. One song in particular really hit home - "I drink wine". It doesn't glorify drinking but is a window into why so many of us did it addictively.

Ava, I thought I was coming up on my eighth year and when I read your post, realized I was off by a year. How odd that for years, I knew my exact DAYS of sobriety and here I lost a year and didn't even notice. It is so nice for sober to be completely normal. I so wish for your daughter and anyone else struggling to realize they could be at peace.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday evening Nesters,

Guess everyone is busy?
I had a busy day too, son & family just left. I just taught my almost 13 yr old grandson how to roll out & bake gingerbread men cookies. He did great & was very interested. Now we all know I never would be experiencing these happy & peaceful days if I was still drinking. Life is good after all

NS, any more sewing projects on the horizon for you? It’s fun to sew in a peaceful environment
I’ll get back to the news myself tomorrow I guess. It was nice having a break.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

evening nesters

NS you cant lose a year, thats not fair lol.

i bought two chooks and a chook pen Lav. $100 for the lot which was a bargain. the only issue is was that when my daughter and i were moving the coop, i stepped wrong and looks like i have done my cruciate ligament. trip to the hospital and a splint and crutches. its a day i kind of wish i drank so i would not be in agony. thank god i dont though as i can blame my stupidity and not al, which made me pretty stupid anyways. i am happy about my chooks though, i love chooks and they lay apparently.

today was the day i started to go back into work, twice a week and now i have gotten out of it as i cant really drive and i have a manual. My life is going to be a pain now, i do the shopping, go to work, all of those things you take for granted. pay back time for the children though.

Slo, are you home yet? i hope you had a lovely time.

time for bed, take care. Carl is not leaving my side, he is a good boy.
xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Oh, no! AVA!! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Is that the diagnosis? Will you have to have surgery? I know how much you love your long walks with Carl. What a big bummer. Glad you have your kids to help you.

Wags, I SO feel you. I am very depressed about it all here. I had a nightmare about it - and woke up so scared. I haven't had a full on nightmare in a long time. I changed my habits so I don't listen to the news on the way to work any more - it was too depressing. I know I can't hide my head in the sand forever, but I try to limit my news feed.

Lav, I don't mind the cold, just the dark! A day I celebrate is Dec. 22 when the days start to get longer! I can't believe you have a teenaged grandson. And I love that you're on your bike so much. That's great. I am inspired to get on mine more.

Happy SOBER Monday,
Pav