Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters! Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it. The news IS very depressing and downright disgusting... but there is a whole other piece of humanity that is not being covered, and that is good people doing good things. It happens all the time, and that is what I am trying to do. A bigger smile for the person who holds my door, an extra "how are you today?". I think we can spread the love.

Anyway, it sounds like you are resting AVA - sorry to hear about your knee! I'm glad your kids helped you with your shower situation. It's so hard to be forced to slow down.

Slo, you are sounding stronger and stronger. It's hard to watch people we love go down bad roads. Keep taking care of you - you're sound great.

Wags, hugs to you. Do you take vitamin D? It help me a lot this time of year. I also see the difficult stories and find it hard to smile. I've been trying to show extra kindness to others lately. It surprises them and makes me feel good. My spirituality leads me to believe that we are all here to ride the ride and do the best we can. There are a lot of people NOT doing the best they can, and that is disheartening. But all I can do is my part. That's it. I believe it will be good in the end. We got this!

LAV, I just wanted to say that I appreciate every single thing you say in the Nest. Your calm, strong, no BS contribution sets me at ease every time I log in. Thank you for that.

LC, I'm glad you are here.

I missed a lot. We have been on a little mountain getaway that has slowed me down and I feel relaxed. We made our traditional gnocchi last night without "Grandma", and we will see how it turns out! Not feeling totally confident! I did try a gluten free batch too. Time to pack up and drive to my parents house and then finally home to our own beds. I miss it. It did snow up here though yesterday and it was a magical winter land for a day. Still too early to open the ski area - which is not normal.

Take care nest. I remember some hard Thanksgivings and this place got me through. I do NOT regret skipping the booze. Life is so much better. Thankful for you all!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanksgiving day is drawing to a close here, it was nice
We just got home from a lovely dinner at our daughter’s house & there was absolutely NO drama, haha. Can’t ask for anything morE than that!!

Wags, yep I love to see kids interested in learning to do homey things so they can grow up & be functional adults. My goal when raising my two was to make them self sufficient & there certainly are that.
I hope your day has beEn nice as well.

Ava, glad to hear you’re doing better & getting around a bit. I bet Carl is looking good after his grooming. You have a lot happening too with your knee, dental work & everything else. Take care of yourself.
When you’re ready to clip the wings do yourself a favor & get someone to hold the bird for you while you clip. Those girls can end up scratching you (been there & done that), Lol

Kensho, glad your back from your trip & I hope your Thanksgiving was good.
My life has not been perfect but it most definitely has been calmer since going AF. I’m only too happy to spread that feeling around the nest & elsewhere

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello again, Nesters. I've been MIA for a while and not totally AF. Not anything over the top, but honestly any AL is bad for me. I need to start like a real newbie again. Set up a 30 day clock. Starting today. And commit to checking in every day.

I've been in a depressed mood and 1) weather has been cold damp and windy, not conducive to getting out 2) my dr readjusted my thyroid meds saying I was "overcorrected". That might be true by the lab numbers, but since the reduction I have been feeling like a slug. I had no problems like this before. I'm going to get a retest (on my own dime) next week.

The kids are home which does bring some light into life. Son did the bulk of the thanksgiving cooking and it was wonderful. He worked pretty much all day at it and was a great way for him to focus.

There have been other minor crappy things going on in life which pushed being totally AF to the back seat. I now have to make being AF #1 as it clears up so many of the ways I process the bad things.

I maybe going to babysit my pseudo granddaughter tomorrow night. Of course I will be sober for that...It is like I am sober when I need to be and drink "a little" when there is no reason to be sober.

But now that all has to stop. I know I have said this so many times before. But it ain't over if I keep trying. And I will.

Reading back, so many of you are going through your own difficult times, and staying AF in the midst of it all. So many people to look up to here.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Wags, I feel you! Tie that knot LARGE. I, too, have been focusing local and doing what I can here - as Lav says, focusing on what I can change.

Slo, glad you survived that wedding. There is actually research about how will power doesn't work. You can say no and "be strong" only so many times before your brain caves in. That's why it takes brain re-orientation to stay sober. Sorry your sister caved and you had to catch the fallout. So glad you stayed sober even though it was difficult.

Lav, glad you had a drama-free Thanksgiving. Did you cook anything? Do they accommodate your food needs?

Ava, can't believe you're driving again. That's great. When do you get to the doctor to see the extent of what is going on? NS, sorry you're in pain, too. I have a foot issue going on. I still get out, but pay the price after. I told my doctor if I was a pro basketball player they would have figured it out by now...

Belle, sorry you're drinking and in that place. As many here already know, I got sober after what I have come to call the Thanksgiving massacre. It was basically four nights of drinking at Thanksgiving parties with some day drinking sprinkled in, followed by regret and the biggest hangover I've ever had. It was then I knew that I couldn't keep drinking and have the life I want. No way. There are many tools in the toolbox and posts all over this site to get you inspiration. Acceptance is the key, and getting your ego out of the way to let others support you. It is absolutely no over as long as you're trying - you got this!! The hard things are harder in the very moment, but ultimately you have to experience the hardship anyway, and it is a lot easier when you're sober.

Kensho, snow sounds lovely! Hi LC, Mr. G and everyone else!

Happy Sober FRIDAY.
Pav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m just in so much turmoil over this divorce and saying goodbye. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving at HB’s brother’s house yesterday. It will be the last time, after all these years. Sister-in-law said to my daughter D2 that “We’ll need to talk about Christmas plans”, but said nothing to me. I can tell HB hasn’t told his one sister & her HB yet that he’s divorcing me, nor has he told his uncle yet! So it was one last time to be included as a long term family member before the boom gets dropped.
Still trying to say goodbye to my house & home of over half my life too, but getting there with that as I ride the waves of grief.

Acceptance is the key to sobriety, Pav. So very true.
There you are, Belle! I was hoping you’d return!

Ava, hooray, the time has finally arrived to move into the next phase of getting your teeth worked on!
Nice that you may have found yourself a good physio for your knee too.

Kensho, sounds like it was a restful time in the mountains for you, and living with natural rhythms.

Lav, I wanted to get my kids interested in doing homey things so they could grow up to be functional adults too, but HB wouldn’t let me. He’d be angry if I ever wanted them to help me clean their rooms, because he wanted them cuddling with him while watching TV. He wouldn’t back me up if I’d have them fold some of the laundry, laughing at the mess of half-folded & unfolded laundry left all over the living room while they all watched TV together. Kept them so busy swimming that they could never cook with me. I can see that the girls are at quite a deficit in their adult lives in these areas as they have no know-how and no cleaning & organizational skills. A couple of their husbands are frustrated with the messes too. I am doing what I can to catch D1 up to speed when I’m up there helping with the kids.

Happy Friday to all as we head into the weekend, and Christmas!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It’s really cold & windy today, just like it’s supposed to be this time of year, haha!
You know the saying - boys & their toys - well my husband took his iPad to our daughter’s house yesterday (why? I don’t know). As soon as we got home last night he realized he forgot to bring it home, duh. So yes we did make the hour + trip on Black Friday back to our daughter’s house so he could get his iPad. That wasn’t what I had planned to do today but oh well. Then he had to stop at Costco on. The way home just to really waste more time, LOL

Belle, please commit yourself to never stop trying. You will get there as soon as you convince yourself that AL is poison & will never make your life right. At least that’s what I had to do & it totally worked. Always glad to see you checking in, now make it a daily thing, that helps too. Enjoy your babysitting, it’s fun!

Pav, hope your Thanksgiving was nice, good to see you.
As it. Turns out my granddaughter inherited my dairy intolerance so my daughter knows all the right substitutes. She knows about the low sodium issue too & nothing was over-salted. I did make some appetizers & a pumpkin roll (all dairy free & reduced sodium). They did the rest of the work & it was wonderful.

Slo, I’m sorry you’re feeling so squeezed with all these family gatherings. So why hasn’t your husband shared the news with his family? Sounds like maybe he’s a bit fearful or hesitant. Maybe he’s not ready for their reactions? Honestly, don’t torture yourself, you deserve so much better better. Keep looking forward, no sense in staying back in a rut. Anything is possible if you stay positive.
I guess I was raised differently in that I was expected to pitch in & help my Mom with everything. I was the only girl with 3 brothers so it was up to me to help her. When I had my kids I decided they both could/should learn the basics of keeping house & taking care of themselves. Good thing I did too because my son does most of the cooking & laundry, his wife is useless. It’s never too late for them to learn though

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I see what you mean now about a brain reorientation towards alcohol, Pav: it’s what Lav said; that we have to see it as the poison that it actually is!! And also a deep understanding that ingesting it will not improve our lives.

I went out to see my condo yesterday. It still feels pretty “right” for me; both the location and the layout. Ava, it is 12 miles northwest of where I live now, and a little farther away from daughters and from freeway access. I had to grab at it very quickly and without time to mull it over. That is the nature of this hot market right now, and if I stopped to think it would be gone. So it was a snap decision, but after a Summer spent looking at other condos, some in person and many online. I also don’t think I can rent for a couple years while scoping out where I might want to live more permanently in the current times: the prices of building materials like lumber are going up astronomically, supply chain problems are worsening everything; we’re living in unsettling times where who knows what is going to happen to us globally; plus being proactive to make sure I set myself up as best I can in this divorce fallout…so it was grab & go!

I hope your new chooks are continuing to delight you and Bob, Ava. I like how they link you back to a childhood pleasure of having chickens. Plus you & Lav can swap stories and advice!

So you flew solo this time with the gnocchi, Kensho?! Hope it turned out just like Grandma’s!

I have no idea why HB hasn’t informed his relation of his intentions, Lav. At first thought maybe it meant he was hesitant, but really it’s probably that he doesn’t relish seeing their reactions. That was nice of you to accompany your HB to collect his iPad, and hopefully it made for a nice day after all.

Hi to G-man, Wags, Belle, LC, NS, Byrdie?, and everyone else too!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Slo, that must be so painful. I'm sorry you're going through that, but with the stories we hear here, I think getting away from him will be worth the pain. You can still see the family at other times without him around. Glad you got a condo - at least that's a big thing off the list.

We have a big driving day - down to a wedding and back because we don't want to spend the night anywhere but home right now. We'll spend a lot more time driving than at the event, but it is a good friend's kid's wedding, so we will go.

What's up with the chickens, Ava? We won't have to hire the Stella to Australia if you drink - they'll be right there!

Happy SOBER Saturday,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Heading down to freezing tonight, almost there already! Brisk but not bad!

Slo, I have a feeling you made a smart choice with the condo. It will be all yours & will be a peaceful new beginning for you to make new memories.
Sounds like your husband is afraid of his family’s reaction to the news. Too bad for him, huh? He’s about to find out that a lot of things can be tough, oh well. You are on a mission to save yourself & we are here to support you :hug:

Pav, hope you enjoy the wedding, it’s a day out which is nice after al the lockdowns.
My chickens have turned into killer chickens I think after seeing the remnants of the hawk they tore apart this summer, haha!! Obviously they were tired of seeing the hawk picking off one of their own time after time so they took care of business. I hope Ava doesn’t have to go thru that too with her girls.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest.

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Slo, so glad you are setting yourself up. maybe you should tell his family, in front of him and see how he feels, bet he would not like that at all. damn i am a bitch! you will do what is right as you are doing now. The amount of times it takes me to do things atm 12 minutes is nothing! i pre plan my bouts of walking so i try and do everything i can in 10 minutes then my knee wants to give way. Im over these 4 walls of my house and i never ever say that.

Might go to aldi late this afternoon, will get me out of the house for a bit and i can always sit and rest.

Belle, a couple for an alkie is always a couple too many. Stay on here and keep accountable, you will never ever regret not drinking.

Lav, i will definitely get one of the kids to hold the chooks for me while i cut their wings. I am getting my one egg a day so they are worth the pain.

3 more days till i have my 8th birthday, i am getting excited to be celebrating another year sober. I think back to my life before i stopped drinking and it was pathetically awful, i was just functioning, not living as i am now. i have so much to be grateful for each and every day and you all on MWO have kept me going on the right path. Thank you all for giving me the strength to keep going on days sometimes where i dont think i can. MWO is my happy place.

take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I had a nice day with young daughter yesterday: she had to find a swimming pool to practice in for college swim team while on Thanksgiving break, so I went with her to swim! And it was my old pool that I used to go lap swim in for exercise some 30-35 years ago! Then we continued on and went Christmas shopping together for the rest of the afternoon! Otherwise she has spent the time getting together with various friends, and her ride back to college picks her up at noon today.

I guess you couldn’t stay long at the wedding, Pav, since you had the long drive back to make. I’m sure your good friend greatly appreciated that you were there.

Yeah, you can make Aldi work as a way to get out & about, Ava, as long as it’s a short trip and you can find places to stop and rest. And if you spring for a cart then you’ll have something to lean on! That helps enormously with my bad knee.

This is so exciting that Ava & Pav are coming up on 8 years now! And right in the thick of the holiday season! I guess that means that one can quit anytime that they are ready to.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

We survived. It was a boring, small wedding with a lot of details that made it so - as expected. It was wonderful to see the bride and her mom, if briefly, and to sleep at home. Phew.

Slo, that sounds like a great day. My son has been visiting from college and goes back today as well. So great to see him, and I'm glad he's leaving back to his life!

Nice weather here, but that is bad because it means no rain or snow. Still wanting a lot this year. Keep sending your rain dances our way. It sure is beautiful today, though.

Happy SOBER Sundays. Not much on the list except laundry, cooking and loafing around.

Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

After a week and a half of being very sick (not covid) today I felt a bit human again. It was some sort of flu bug which is really going around here..
I'll be happy after a good sleep tonight.. I've been feeling out of sorts and unsure of myself this past week, which I guess is normal when one is sick.
Ughhh.. I'm sure some exercise will help me get back into a better frame of mind..

It seems everyone is doing pretty well.. the usual ups and downs of life, with some big challenges in there as well.. I'm thinking of you all and am so grateful to be able to come here and be inspired by the work you're doing.. So happy to see you again, Belle!!! Never ever give up trying! I will also Never ever give up.. if at some point I f*** it up again (which is nowhere in my plan and i would be soooo bummed) I will pull my shit together and find my way back here to pick myself up and start again.. My plan though is to learn from my past and to do things differently..

Big hugs all around..xxx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Quiet day in Lav-land but I like it that way, haha!
I’m working on projects for next Saturday’s craft fair, having some fun too

Ava, I’m so happy for you & Pav! You have both done a great job & can live life the way it was meant to be - free of AL!
Are you due for any more xrays on the knee or just waiting it out. I hope they get you to PT at some point so yuo can learn how not to re-injure yourself. Hang in there.

Slo, glad you had some quality time with your daughter, that’s the best.

Pav, I think when I hit a certain age going to weddings just wasn’t exciting anymore. Can’t really explain it either. Happy for the couple but not happy to be there?
Glad you enjoyed your son’s visit too.

LC, sorry you were so sick. It’s so scary right now with the pandemic going on. I hope you continue to feel better!
Stay focused on your plan. You already know AL doesn’t cure a thing, right?

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - glad you had a chance to go swimming with your daughter. Your decision process on your condo sounds solid -- lots of things do feel uncertain right now and the fact that you still feel good about it is a real positive for the outcome.

Lav - hope the prep for next Saturday's craft fair goes smoothly and is fun.

LC - sorry you were feeling so ill and glad you're starting to feel better. Hang tight to your quit and take things one day at a time.

Pav - great to see you. Sounds like a nice holiday and wedding, even with all the driving.


Hellos and waves to Belle, Ava, and everyone else stopping by the nest. Happy last few days of November!