Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Chilly day & it was supposed to snow a little but that never happened & that’s OK with me.
Working on those pillow orders so people can have their gifts on time

Pav, hello to you & I hope your day was a good one.
Doing this craft y stuff that people actually want to buy is a kick & it makes me happy

Ava, yay for the new car - whenever it arrives. Nothing is simple these days, the car lots around here are almost empty. It’s sad but a sign of the times.
Sorry your Mom is being such a stubborn bugger but I guess she’s not willing to make any changes now. She just sounds so angry all the time, that’s sad.
I’m glad you don’t have to rush to surgery before the holidays. The plan sounds good, keep moving as much as you can. I gave in & bought a harness for my dog, I was tired of her pulling me off my feet all the time & it works like a charm. I knew I should have done that a long time ago but was just too lazy, haha!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS - great post and reflections on the gifts of overcoming an addiction. I love the worldwide tribe we have here.

Lav - that's great that you have so many orders to fill! I hope you aren't overloaded though. You seem like a person who does a good job of keeping things in balance.

Pav - my wife doesn't drive. She can, but she probably only drives 2-3x per year (if that). With my now 91-year-old dad living with us (who should NOT drive and thankfully hasn't tried to in the past ~2 years), all of the driving pretty much falls on me. I'm a confident alert driver and I didn't used to mind it but after my hit-and-run a few years ago it became more stressful. And our city population has exploded over the past 5-10 years with lots of people coming from all over the country and the culture of how people drive here has deteriorated significantly. COVID and a shortage of police officers means almost zero traffic law enforcement and it's really horrible driving here now. I learned to drive in Los Angeles so I know how to manage bad traffic and lots of people in a hurry. But now we have lots of people driving cars they stole like they know nobody can do anything to stop them from doing whatever they want. It's really really bad, and I have come to hate it.


Well, I actually ended up opting out of the gorge trip. My wife went with the neighbors (they drove) and she took them to all the major waterfalls etc. They had a good time. I was exhausted and it was going to be a day full of responsibility for me, and even though it was hard to put my own needs first (I'm bad at that) I did it. I had a relaxing day, and the gorge will be there for next time. I'm proud of myself for the act of self-care.

Today I had challenging classes but we also went to the immersive Van Gogh exhibit. It's amazing. If it comes to a city near you and you like art at all I encourage you to go.


Happy Thursdays to you all!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I did see the immersive Van Gogh exhibit! It was a neat experience. I have loved Van Gogh’s art since childhood.
I feel better that you skipped the outing to the river gorge, Wags. You sounded hesitant, and also like you really needed a break, so good choice.

They were trying to buy my car off me when I took it in for a repair in October -I knew to hang onto it then!

I’m in a hotel, in between the visitation last night and the funeral this morning for my cousin. My poor aunt & uncle, and his widow; they personally greeted at least a thousand mourners last night. They’re so devastated. And they have to be so exhausted after that. And have to do it all over again today. There was a walk-through of over 700 uniformed police and firefighters paying their respects.

I feel good that I pulled my young uncle back into the fold by picking him up and getting him included for both events. I got to see young uncle and young aunt (the bereaved mother) hug each other genuinely, and I hope this goes a long way towards healing the rift in that family.

I have to go get ready for the funeral now, but hope you all have good days!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi All, it has been a hellish week and a half of work, but I know it is not healthy to put checking in on the back burner. I did write a long post 2 days ago, got logged out...tried to log back in but MWO was not coming up. So I said heck with it and went to work.

Another day or 2 of this craziness and things should slow down. We are trying to get all the December clients done early so the boss can meet with them before Christmas. I am getting burned out.

Reading back quickly, there are lots of things both happy and sad going on in the nest. Too many for me to mention here as I have to get back to the grind (hope to finish early today), but my thoughts are with each and every one of you going through hard times.

NS, I vote that your post about how you handled things pre and post addiction should go into the toolbox.

Slo, so sorry about your cousin on top of everything else that is going on in your life.

Glad I finally checked in. It is not healthy for me to be disconnected from the nest.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, Nesters.
Trying to catch up on everyone’s doings. So good to see that the temptations of AL don't seem to be bubbling up among us. That is big progress!
Last night, we watched “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood”, a story about Mr. Rogers. As the movie unfolded, I thought this might have been Tom Hanks’ first dud in recent memory. I was wrong. As the broken protagonist was interviewing him, Mr. Rogers said that his mission was to help children understand their feelings. This set me to thinking. Much of my issue with AL had to do with processing my emotions. In fact, rather than sort them, I stuffed them under a buzz, to be dealt with at some undetermined time in the future. I was sitting on several smoldering blankets, as it turned out, and I still am working through them. It’s like untangling Christmas tree lights. There isn’t always a happy ending to it all, but accepting things as they are goes a long way. Learning how to forgive myself has been a major key, too. If you haven’t seen the movie, I recommend it. I’ve been thinking about it ever since….a good sign, I think.

Angry and Bitter, party of two? That’d be me, but I plan to work really hard on this. Life isn’t easy, but yesterday’s events don't have to sully today’s joy.
Wishing everyone an easy day! Hugs, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Our winterish weather is about to leave for a week of 60-70 degree weather. How strange but it is what it is.
I should have these orders finished by tomorrow & I may not be taking any more right now. My machine is acting up, giving me fits, haha. My husband is looking at it now, sometimes he can fix these things.

Wags, I’m also glad you gave yourself a break! We run around like Energizer Bunnies until we crash & that’s not good.
I don’t think it’s safe to drive anywhere anymore. Speed limits mean nothing & the rules of the road book has been burned in my opinion. I pretty much stay local when I’m out by myself, I’m done with the interstates.

Slo, I hope everything went OK for the funeral today, such a hard thing. It’s wonderful you have reunited family , especially at this difficult time.

Belle, it’s a busy time of the year for all of us. Staying connected here is a strong tool. Don’t wander too far

Byrdie, all kinds of thoughts, memories & emotions bubble up around the holidays. We know we can’t fix everything at once but keep moving forward a day at a time & eventually everything will fall into place. Hang in there!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I did see the movie about Mr. Rogers starring Tom Hanks! It was wonderful, and Tom Hanks did a good job capturing the character and mannerisms of Fred Rogers.
“I stuffed them under a buzz, to be dealt with at some undetermined future time.” Isn’t that the truth! -and those emotions just fester, and cause anger and bitterness.
I find the self-forgiveness part to be hard, but eventually necessary.

The funeral for my cousin was amazing. The tributes and eulogies were so heartfelt and well-done. His sister spoke, his father, and his widow all spoke so eloquently. The fire department people who spoke made it clear that he was definitely being groomed to be the next fire chief. He was posthumously promoted to captain, since he was already acting in that role. Then his coffin was hoisted atop the fire truck and the long processional through the city ensued, with streets closed and the streets lined with people along the route waving flags. Bagpipes played, and a 10-minute processional of fire trucks from neighboring communities passed by the one he was on top of, parked in front of the fire station.

I handled the gatherings by drinking NA beer there. Turns out AF uncle drinks it too, so we had them get us a 12-pack of Heineken NA 0.0% beer when they went out for a beer run! I was open with everyone about what I drink. I have nothing to hide. Alcoholic cousin is 5 months AF now!! She is achieving it with the help of Antabuse.

Take care, everyone!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Lav, this struck me...

She just sounds so angry all the time, that’s sad.

That's how I think of those bitter, mean people who I want to get mad at. I try to think - wow, what must the rest of your life be like? What are you going through? I try to take it away from me and what I did to get someone angry and mean to what happened to them. It is useful in working with kids who have experienced trauma as so much of their lashing out has nothing to do with us and what we are doing. All that anger IS sad.

Ava, not to diminish what that must feel like when it comes from your mother. I'm sorry you've had to put up with that, and I hope you can find the peace and resolution you want. Exciting to get a new car - so much fun.

Wags, I am so glad to hear that you set the boundaries you needed. I know that is not easy to do. I hope you had a relaxing day and did what you wanted and needed to do.

Slo, that sounds like a nice send off and I'm glad you got your aunt and uncle together. So sad to lose someone so young.

Belle, glad you checked in and are doing well. This is a rough time of the year - stay close!

Not much new here. I am lucky to work in a school so I get nearly two weeks off in December. I can't wait.

Happy SOBER Friday,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Not much going on with me, just stopping in to say hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!!
I did get all my orders delivered today so I think it’s time to close up the workshop until next year, yay!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - I'm so sorry I didn't reply to your post the last time I was here. Your mother sounds extraordinarily difficult and I can only imagine how challenging it has been to grow up with her and to have a relationship with her. Good for you on holding a firm boundary.

Slo - the funeral sounds like an amazing and deserved tribute for a wonderful person gone too soon.

Belle - keep on checking in!

Pav - glad you have 2 weeks off to look forward to!


Happy weekends everyone.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

It’s snowing!

Yup, it’s time to close up your division of Santa’s Workshop now, Lav! You can do that now that you’re not running it as a business anymore!

Pav, thrilled for you that you have time off to look forward to. And thrilled for my daughter D1 as well (the one with the babies), since she works in schools too.

I see things such as the Van Gogh immersion show and the movie about Mr. Rogers, because I take HB’s sister with dementia out on outings for enriching activities. He is now taking a more active role in her care, and wants his own time with her. Oh well -I can focus on my own family now.

I’m very glad that I got my young aunt & uncle back together too, in the nick of time. I think it meant a lot to my aunt to be able to fall into her brother’s arms a couple of times to sob over the loss of her son.
I realize now that my mother scapegoat-ed my dad and my brother like this, each in their turn; and turned them into outcasts. I can’t do anything about them, since they have both died early deaths now, after lonely lives. But young uncle is still alive & well at age 65, so I can try to repair the damage that the narcissistic abuse that has plagued our family has wrought in that generation.
And mother? She has turned her ire & wrath onto another brother, middle uncle, for his failure to make it to the funeral. As long as she has someone to trash, then she’s happy!

I’m sorry your mother has regained too much of her spit & vinegar, Ava. My mother got much nicer when she was critically ill and hospitalized in 2018. But, then they recover. You’re employing good boundaries once again.

Good luck, everyone, as we head into busy weekends leading to Christmas!
I feel like Lav just had a birthday? If so, then happy birthday weekend, Lav!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola evabody,

Slo, wow what a beautiful funeral. Thanks for your description as it really painted a picture. May he rest in peace.

Big waves and hello's to you all. Have a nice weekend.

Surf's up!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

All good here with me but this has been a tragic day for so many affected by multiple tornadoes last night. The death count continues to mount as the day wears on. Western Kentucky was hit hard, I know my nephew is serving in the National Guard there so I imagine he’s on duty helping out. An Amazon warehouse in IL fell down killing many there as well. Prayers for all victims & families & the first responders.

Wags, hope your weekend is peaceful

Slo, I am definitely on holiday break now!
It’s wonderful that you have been able to reunite family members, good luck dealing with your mother. Mine was very sweet & left us too soon at the age of 65, she is truly missed.
You were close guessing my birthday, it’s coming up on the 19th. At this point I don’t care so much about the number because I feel lucky to be alive.

G, hello to you

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya Lav! :moonwalk:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

afternoon nesters

Where are you LC and Belle keep checking in. It is the time of year that we need to stay accountable.

Slo, the funeral sounds beautiful and sad as well, i am glad you managed to join your family members back together, you are a good soul. I have learnt also that there is no pleasing my mother. how is your other daughters pregnancy going, when is bubs due?

Wags good on you for saying no and having some you time, this time of year is hectic, i hope you get a holiday break.

Lav, yes another birthday, they all blend in now dont they. Glad you have finished for the year and can no relax. My chooks are still giving me one egg, as i tell people these 2 have cost me $26,000 but i love Susan and Karen! Susan wants to come inside all the time and Bob just loves them and just loves rolling in their poo bless him. that is terrible about the tornadoes at this time of year also, climate change has a lot to answer for.

Pav, i dont know how she can be angry all the time, its sad when i see it, there is so much negative that she never looks for the positive in anything, always the worst.

My ortho apt went okay, i cant start walking without the rigid splint so i invested in a more flexible one. i am trying to walk more on it but just got back from shopping and im exhausted and my right hip hurts. never a dull moment. Still no car but hopefully this week.

I have not bothered with my mother atm, she replied to the message i sent but i still have not read it, my son said she told him i said some hurtful things, he said no i didnt as i sent him the message to read. I will reply to her tonight but my enthusiasm to be stuck in the same merry=go=round is zero. Im tired of her antics. the sad thing is the more i dont engage the more she gets angry and doesnt realise that she instigated this situation and this is how i feel when she does this time and time again to me. I know she doesnt have many xmas's to go and really did want her to come even though we all tread carefully with her. oh well next week is another week.

take care.