Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - be gentle with yourself. You've got a lot of challenges on your plate right now and you're handling them admirably. It's hard to draw boundaries with family members and yet we can all probably relate to the need to do so. I hope that the more flexible splint helps you walk more without as much pain.

Lav - the tornadoes were devastating. So much destruction and so many lives lost. It's all very sad.

G - good to see you!


Hellos and waves everyone!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in...staying close. Even in this hectic time I need to make time to do this.

Had a bit of a sore throat yesterday so did not do much. Feel better today and going out with the fam to get a Christmas tree.

Take care all. Need to go to grocery first before the day is started for real.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest. Long post warning...

Today is my 4 year soberversary! Nothing huge has happened in that time, like changing jobs, moving, divorcing, etc., yet EVERYTHING has changed and it ALL feels huge. My relationships are so much more authentic and meaningful - because I'm no longer lying about alcohol or sneaking around or focusing more on the next drink than what my kids are saying. I still own my business, but it has blossomed into more than I thought it could be. And my clear mind and new priorities have allowed me to allocate my increased energy in the right places to thrive and balance work and family. I feel genuinely at peace and happy most days, and even during the hard times (and there ARE still hard times), I focus more on what I'm grateful for, and appreciate the ride of life for what it is instead of trying to numb it. In the early days of becoming sober, I was forced to find other ways to cope with uncomfortable feelings, and I still use these new skills every day - it has become my new normal to fill my cup other ways. I've developed boundaries with how others can treat me, because I respect myself more. I've (mostly) hung up my superwoman cape and am realistic about what I can actually accomplish. I tend to actually dream bigger about my future, but don't expect myself to work 14 hour days into the early morning. I don't have booze breath when saying good night to my kids, and I'm more present when talking with them. My 12 yr old daughter recently said to me, "Mom, I remember when you used to sneak into your office closet and drink from the bottles you kept there. You're so much happier and nicer now." Say no more my sweet daughter, that is worth the world. And though that could be enough - it is only the beginning of how much better my life is all around. I know who I am, what I want, and I am able to approach each day with a grounded optimism and appreciation for my life that I no longer numb, but live with all of my heart. If you are wondering if you have a problem with alcohol, you probably do. If you are wondering if you can stop, you can. If you are wondering how you will ever get through it, just take one day at a time, and re-wire your coping skills one moment at a time and trust that feeling the discomfort for a bit of time will open up a whole other life you never imagined was possible. The only way out is through, and we all CAN and DESERVE TO get to the other side. You will never regret it. Thanks to everyone here who have created a safe environment to be real and honest and alcohol-free!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Kensho, a big CONGRATS to you on your 4 years AF :welldone:
I absolutely agree, everything gets better, not perfect but definitely better. Keep the gratitude going, it’s the best tool I have in my tool box!

Belle, the sore throat thing is going around. I’ve listened to my husband moan about it for the past 4 or 5 days. He did a rapid test yesterday & it was negative. He always gets this stuff right before Christmas.
Hope you feel better soon!

Wags, now that they are showing the drone footage of the tornado destruction - OMG. It is just awful. I think I’ll donate something to the Red Cross relief when i’m done here.

Ava, using a splint on one side always creates pain on the other side. We try too hard to compensate for the lack of weight bearing ability with an injury. Please take it easy :hug:
Thinking about your Mom & I’m pretty sure I would set up a deal with her. She needs to be on a good antidepressant & get some talk therapy. Once all that’s accomplished then she can visit. My MIL was a lot like that in no one could stand it when she visited. She eventually moved to FL so we didn’t see much of her after that until we got stuck flying her back up here & placing her in a nursing home fora short time until she passed away. Ugh, the memories

We went & visited the family graves & left greens for the holidays & actually got to see out granddaughter for a short visit on the way back. I made a pot of vegan style potato leek soup for dinner, yum.
Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations Kensho!!!
4 years is huge all by itself, and then the ways you've described that things have changed add so many layers on top of that accomplishment.
So proud of you friend. Sending you hugs and high fives. :heartbeat:

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - I saw a few different drone videos and they were all devastating. Entire towns flattened, almost erased, except for the mangled cars. I think about those poor people in the candle factory working hard to help fill orders for the upcoming holidays. My heart goes out to everyone affected by these storms. I've sent donations to a couple of orgs with boots on the ground. It feels like it can't possibly help, yet it all adds up.

Belle - I hope you had a wonderful family day picking out your tree, and I hope your sore throat has gone on its merry way. Glad you checked in.


My wife and I met friends for "happy hour" today at a brew pub. It wasn't my first choice, but they have a huge heated outdoor patio and we didn't want to meet someplace indoors. It was remarkably easy to order just potato chips and to remind our friends "I don't drink" when they asked if they could buy the first round of beer for everyone. Interestingly, one decided to order hot chocolate and the other ordered a glass (instead of a pint) and then said I probably won't even drink it all. It is fascinating to see how our decisions impact others, whether positively (like in this case) or negatively (when people persuade others to drink more). Chalking this day up as a success!

Hope everyone's week starts off well!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

KENSHO!! CONGRATULATIONS! Four years is a major accomplishment. I love that all relationships are better without booze - even the bad ones. Everything seems so much more manageable when sober. I'm sure your business will keep growing and your kids will continue to be proud. Keep it up!

Those tornados are just awful. I can't believe one of them stayed on the ground for 250 miles. Devastating.

Belle, good to see you! Hope you're feeling better.

Ava, I'm just so sorry about that injury! I came into the house and missed a step and landed on my knee on the kitchen floor and my cheek on my son's knee. Fortunately it was only two steps and I didn't break anything or kill myself. I was thinking about you as I was laying on the floor taking inventory - if my knee had twisted even just a little... Take is easy, as Lav says, and good luck with your mom!

Wags, I have had the same thing happen. In one group of us who were friends from one school where I worked, I quit and since then three others have done the same thing (I guess we had drinking in common back then...) It feels so nice to be a positive influence!

Hiya Lav, G and everyone else. Have fabulous, SOBER weeks,

Pav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters,

Interesting stories about the positive influence you have had on other people’s drinking, Wags & Pav. Those couple of friends of yours maybe don’t like drinking much anyways, Wags; and you gave them permission to not have to. Fascinating to me that someone would not finish a small glass of beer!

I hope I don’t end up with a sore throat & cold like you, Belle; as I’m heading up to babysit the grand babies who are sick with colds again. Mabel likes to chew on my nose!

Ava, with a knee injury, unfortunately it’s a fine line to straddle between staying active and not overdoing it. Happy for you that you can move on to a soft brace.

Your vegan potato leek soup sounds delicious, Lav. And it reminded me that I had a baked potato in the oven going cold! I love potatoes.

Kensho, thank you for pointing out all the positives in your life that have come from dropping out the booze! Congratulations on 4 years. Yet another one who was brave enough to quit during the holiday season. [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION], your post was so meaningful too, and rang very true for me. Like, quitting is only the start of it; and then we have to…pick up pieces and live differently.
They both should go in the Toolbox.

Ava & Pav, thank you for saying that you don’t mind when I need to vent and waffle here. It does help.

Time to tackle a new sober week!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

My day didn’t go quite as planned but I did get to spend the day with my oldest grandson. Had a call from the school nurse, he had a low grade temp & earache so I brought him home with me & made him comfortable. His dad picked him up at 6:30, I think a trip to urgent care is in order for antibiotics. It was because of this kid that I finally quit for good, nearly 13 years ago.

Wags, glad your happy hour meetup went well! I’mm just not seeing people pounding down drinks like I used to see, something is changing for the better
Solstice count = 8 days, yay!!

Pav, you’re so right, being a positive influence rocks!!!

Slol, hope you’re not getting sick, ugh.
I love the vegan versions of my favorite foods, my gut is much happier . Coconut milk & soy milk are out for me but I can use cashew, almond & oat milks for cooking & baking with good results.
Hope the babysitting went well.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,
I thought I was going to check in this morning, but started online Christmas shopping. But checking in better late than never.

Kenso a big congratulations on 4 years, that is something to be so proud of...though I know it brings more than pride, it brings a new sense of self and living an honest life. I vote your post belongs in the toolbox also.

Ava...sorry about the knee. It just sucks when for whatever reason our bodies don't cooperate and do what they used to do.

We had a nice time picking out a tree yesterday, but due to some shortage all they had were midget trees and this one is barely 4 feet tall...lol. We also got a fresh wreath but I forgot that our house faces south and the sun BAKES our front door. Even in the winter you practically singe your skin on the metal doorknob. We'll be lucky if this fresh wreath lasts a week...it will either self destruct or spontaneously combust. Well, it sounded like a good idea.

My sore throat went away, I think due to the fact that I take Sambucol black elderberry. However daughter has been dealing with a tonsil issue and we went to the dr today. Strep was negative, but they did a blood test for Mono. I don't think she has that either, but better to know especially since she is going to be babysitting my niece next week. Dr said she has "cryptic tonsils" (haha) that basically means they have little dents and holes that trap bacteria etc. yuck. He thinks in the long run she will be better off getting her tonsils out.

Hope all are well...Slo don't let Mabel bite your nose off! Those baby teeth can be sharp. How old is little Mabel (I love the name).

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - woohoo for solstice getting here soon!!!

Slo - we all need safe and supportive places to vent. The nest is that place for many of us at least on occasion. I'm always happy to lend an ear at the very least, and offer support or suggestions when that's what you'd like to receive. Hugs to you :hug:


Hello and waves everyone. Have great new weeks!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Hump day tomorrow and i thought today was Thursday so its been a busy week.

Happy 4th birthday Kensho and many more to come. Such a great feeling isnt it, to have the freedom to be yourself and be happy about it.

Pav, i hope you recovered from your fall. I always have to watch where i walk and now more so.

Lav, its such a good feeling to know you have done the best you can for your grandchildren and to be there for them. One of the reasons i got sober was for this reason, still patiently waiting 8 years later lol. i do have 4 beautiful grand fur babies though. All good things come to those who wait.

Belle, hope you are feeling better, i have not had a cold for years due to mask wearing and not game to get a whiff of a cold or else have to get a covid test. we were just about to be able to ditch the masks and now because of the new variant being here it may not happen.

I have my work dinner tomorrow, this will be the 2nd event i have been to in 14 years but i get a free meal and drinks. I dont really want to go but the head of neurology wants me to so maybe i get a present, i like presents! Its been a very long year in the health system and its not much better now. Hopefully 2022 is a better year.

Slo, the splint i am using now is so much more comfortable but i am finding my knee swells more at night but i am probably doing too much. its been 4 weeks now so should be fixed i say. still no new car and im getting a bit annoyed, still driving the manual but my knee doesnt like it.

time for bed, take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It was fairly mild & sunny today so I ventured out for a haircut & made a few stops afterwards. I’m all vaccinated & boosted yet I still feel like I want to avoid crowds. Guess my age & experience are guiding me. Started the great cookie bake today, you can never have enough Christmas cookies. My grandson texted me & said he saw a doctor today & had his ear flushed out with the good tools haha & has new ear drops to use. I hope everyone else stays healthy so we can actually all gather this year.

Hi Wags, hope you had a great day!

Ava, you will be primed & ready when the grandkids do arrive. In the meantime enjoy the fur babies, I love them too
Enjoy the work dinner & I hope they give you a nice present, you deserve one!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning,

Quick check in. I am fine from the fall. I have a nervous reaction to falls - I laugh at mine and others'. It doesn't much matter for myself, but other people do get annoyed when they're on the ground and I'm laughing...

Lav, that's so great that you get to care for and see your grandkids. I'm waiting, but my kids are still too young - so I want to have some grand kids but not NOW...

Not much to add today. I'm very excited I don't drink. Met up with some friends this weekend and they were hungover. Blech, I am so very glad I'll never feel like that again!

Happy SOBER Hump Day,
Pav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, everyone!

Ava, my other daughter is still pregnant! She is about 9 weeks along! Her husband continues to inject her twice a day 12 hours apart with progesterone, so she’s getting really sore from being a human pin cushion for so long. But, so far so good!

My little charge (Mabel) is keeping me busy. She is down for a nap now. She really can’t bite my nose anymore, because she has a tooth that has started coming in! She has turned 7 months old.
It’s nice to be up here instead of facing the reality of impending divorce at home. My lawyer contacted his lawyer, and he has assured me (yesterday) that HB is definitely, single-mindedly pursuing this divorce. I veer back & forth from desperately wanting to stay, to definitely wanting the freedom & relief of getting out of this. From thinking, “What have I done? I could have just stayed, and we would’ve grown old together.” to thinking, “Of course we’re divorcing; where else was this heading? Hey, I can finally get out of this misery!” It’s weird how much I flip-flop back & forth. And hard, and exhausting.

Pav, a good reminder of what it was like to see people suffering from hangovers. Although my hangovers weren’t that bad. Which is not a good sign.

It’s unseasonably warm here today, so luckily the ice is melting. Happy hump day!