Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

“Uber-ed more al…”!! That’s a new one to me too, Ava! Kudos to you for making it through that “Let’s get trashed for Christmas” event. Also sorry about your mother pulling her antics once again at Christmas -but know that you did your part by inviting her. That’s all you can do.

It was a weirdly warm Christmas here, but I didn’t mind. Sounds like the cold is coming, based on Wag’s weather.

I had a pretty lovely day for Christmas, and hosted a nice family gathering. It was painful though hosting my last Christmas in our home, and I burst into tears a few times, in front of a few people. But I wanted to do it for our daughters, and for my extended family so they could say goodbye to our home of 28 years, where many holiday gatherings have been held.

My fancy near-beers that daughter got me for Christmas got me through, and I drank a lot of those. I enjoyed the dark, robust flavors of one kind, and the complex German beer flavors (from the oldest brewery in Germany!) of another. Also had white de-alcoholized wine. So I stayed away from AL, while still indulging my hard-wired habits in another way; but had a little sugar. One cookie, plus some sugar that was added to other foods.

I’m finally, finally, FINALLY today, turning the corner on this divorce; and accepting that it is necessary, and ultimately, it is what I want, and what is best for me. Whew. Grief is painful.

Proud of you all for managing Christmas AF. We did it!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Grateful for a quiet day here, trying to get over a massive cold. I haven’t ever spent two days in a row sitting on the sofa & doing nothing. It was kind of nice haha!

Wags, glad your holiday was peaceful.

Kensho, I don’t want to hear the long winded conversations about AL either. Lava pie sounds much better

Ava, I can’t even imagine ordering up an uber delivery fora bottle of booze. What will they think of next? Glad you enjoyed yourself safely.

Slo, you’re a brave one to put yourself thru hosting a family even right now. Not sure I could have done that. Acceptance of our reality is very hard at times but it’s best for us overall. You have lots of changes to make & a blank slate to build your new life on, right? Hang in there, we’re here for you.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all, happy day after xmas. Sounds like everyone had at least partially good holidays.

Ours was mellow, as I mentioned, but then late last night we had to make a midnight run to the emergency vet. Our pup has a condition that makes her prone to aspiration pneumonia, and unfortunately at 11pm last night she aspirated. She's had 3-4 bouts of this before and we're very familiar with the onset -- what signs and symptoms to watch for etc -- and we have a few days worth of antibiotics on hand so we can get her started on those immediately for situations like this. However, this time things seemed different and we were pretty sure it was time to say goodbye and ease her over the rainbow bridge. She just seemed to be telling us that she was tired of all this and she was ready to be done. So we headed out with tears in our eyes and our hearts breaking.

By the time we got to the vet (about 30 mins away), she was more alert and responsive so we became more optimistic. Long story not-so-long, she has rallied and was able to come home with us. She's still a very sick little dog and we've got weeks of recovery ahead of us, but she's stable and has shown interest in eating/drinking (always a good sign), so for now at least we've got a reprieve.

Thank Goodness I didn't drink! I'm the only driver in the household and I would have been in no shape to head out on icy roads, especially while feeling so much stress and heartbreak. No matter how tempted I might be, I've been reminded me of my non-negotiable reasons to stay sober -- I have to be ready and able, at a moment's notice, to provide care for any member of my household. By remembering there are reasons to not drink that are larger than myself, I have rediscovered some strength.


Take care everyone.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon on post-Christmas Monday!

I’m glad your dog is ok now, Wags. How scary. It sounds like she is not ready to leave you yet after all. Being the only driver in the household with four of you there who might need medical attention is very positive reinforcement for you to stay sober! I have been in similar situations where I am very happy to be AF, because I was able to drive people when needed. My twin sister did not stay AF over Christmas, so I was glad that she asked young daughter to drive our mother & her husband home, instead of doing it herself, as was the plan.

Well HB just tested positive for COVID-19 today! Great. Lots of people were exposed over Christmas, including moi.

Sorry you caught your husband’s bad cold, Lav. I was pretty sure I could avoid my husband’s bad cold, but now that it’s COVID, not so sure! Well, he kept testing negative…

Interesting about Colombia and Colombian women, Belle! That Sofia Vergara on “Modern Family” is from Colombia, and she is so beautiful.

Snow is on the ground here! Happy Monday to all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just now dipping below freezing now & we had a light covering of snow this afternoon. Feels more seasonable anyway.

Wags, sounds like your pup is just not ready to leave yet. I hope the antibiotics kick in & do the job. It’s wonderful to be able-bodied & ready to respond to any emergency, be proud.

Slo, sorry about the Covid diagnosis. It’s running rampant almost everywhere. Notifying all the folks who were at your house will keep you busy. I hope you can mask up & avoid catching it too.
Home test kits are hard to find, we ran one over to our son this afternoon, he wants to get a negative result so he can return to work - and he did. Good luck!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nester's,

Sheesh Slo. If it's not one thing it's another over there. You sure are leading a full life and i know it's an emotional rollercoaster for you. Hope you'll be ok re covid test. Any sort of grief sure is tough. You are really kicking bottom throughout the whole saga. Looks like the end is in sight eventually, followed as always by a beautiful new beginning where anything's possible. Especially now u don't drink.

Yo Wags. Geez, scary stuff for your pup. Do you know if her condition will improve or disappear with age? I like your comment re being together and able to drive or take action for family in any emergency. This is a responsibility i avoided for years. But it's a normal part of life and i used to run from any sort of commitment or responsibility for others. Not these days.

Great work back there Belle. I recall you mentioning your Colombian daughter before. Hope you're all doing well. I'm meeting a cool chica there along with making some music in every town square i pass by, and any bar/venue that'll have me. It's a tricky time for travel so i hope it goes smoothly. Either way, throwing my hat into the ring.

Friend Kensho. You know you're welcome, and you have done the same for me. :happy2:

Big waves to evabody. Surf's up!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all, thanks for your support and sympathy about our pup. She is holding steady or if anything has improved slightly. We know from experience that around the 3rd day of antibiotics is usually when we really see her start to feel better, and that will be tomorrow, so fingers and paws crossed.


Slo - sorry to hear about the covid positive in your family. I hope you manage to dodge it entirely! One thing they've said with this omicron variant is that people have been testing negative at one time, only to test positive 5-10 hours later. It's a sneaky bugger for sure and I hope the impact on your family is as light as possible.

G - Colombia is very high on my list for travel. Beautiful people, beautiful country. I will really look forward to hearing your updates as you go, and I hope all of your reasons for going turn out super well for you. As for our pup, unfortunately it's unlikely she'll outgrow her condition at this age -- it does happen with some pups, but typically it just persists at the same level or it gets worse. Our little girl has gradually gotten worse over the past 4-5 years, although her situation is nowhere near the worst of it. Thanks for asking.


Hellos and waves to all nesters near and far. Hope the end of the year treats you all gently.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Happy Holidays and everything to those of you who celebrate.

Wags - so sorry about your pup! That must be so hard every time it happens. I remember you saying she has a special sleeping contraption. Does she sleep in it all the time, or just when there is a flare up? Thank goodness you were sober to drive. I know you won't drink, but how are the cravings going? Don't forget to take care of yourself as well as everyone else...

Kensho, good news about your dad.

Ava, that pack full sounds like a lot of fun. I'm glad you got your kids home!

Lav and NS, sorry about Covid interrupting your plans. We all took tests right before we gathered and managed to stay covid free for now. My son did go out with fully vaxxed friends, and it seems to be raging through younger people, so we'll see how long we can keep it at Bay. I guess we're all going to get it, but that if we are vaccinated it won't be as bad (mostly).

Mulberry, glad you're feeling better. Are you doing something else besides checking in here?

Mr. G, I hope you get your travel in. Maybe Omicron is so spreadable that we'll be over this surge soon and into the "endemic" phase so we can travel. Colombia is on the bucket list here as well!

Slo, acceptance is such a good thing. Sounds good.

Belle, how was the pot pie from Costco?? My son made a turkey pot pie after Thanksgiving. It was DELICIOUS.

Good to see you @steady @Rahul and [MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION] - thanks for popping by and saying hi.

LC, I hope you're ok - check in and say hi!

Not much to report here. My oldest is getting into wine so we talked too much about it as well. I did crave a glass as they were commenting on it over dinner. But of course I never only wanted one glass, so I drank my fizzy water and got over it.

Happy SOBER Tuesday,
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya Nest. A pot pie sounds so good - though I've been eating all sorts of comfort food and am paying for it!

Sorry to hear about all the Omicron issues - Slo, I hope it passes right by you. My son got boosted yesterday, and the tech said its about to blow up here like we've never seen it. The testing lines are unimaginable. So I'm trying to avoid gatherings.

Wags, thinking of you and your furry girl. She is lucky to have you.

Luckily I get to leave and do some solitary work today. The family is all home and they are getting on my nerves with noise and spats, and typical family stuff. It's funny... my daughter learned she gets to hang out with friends tomorrow and she is bouncing off the walls! She definitely gets her energy from being with other people, while I get it from solitude.

Anyway, I'm off to replace a discontinued tile and check paint samples - and I got a call for a new-build for a house that burned down in the fires. He can't find a builder, so he wants to GC it on his own - huge red flag. It's hard enough in this industry now when working with experts... not sure how a person with no experience would work.

Have a good day everyone. Almost on to a new, lighter year (I hope!).

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

On Christmas Eve at HB’s brother’s house, one of the guests works at a lab that produces Covid tests, so a whole bunch of tests were provided; and all of them tested negative before having company over. Then two of them tested positive on Christmas Day! HB had procured a test kit himself; and tested negative on Thursday, then tested negative at their house on Friday evening. He had a pre-scheduled a Covid test for himself on 12/27…which tested positive! So I see what you’re saying, Wags! Also heard that the Omicron variant isn’t always being caught by the at-home test kits, so maybe that’s what’s going on.

Ava: “My knee is paying the price of being hostess today”. Yes, that’s how it was for me for the past 10 years; and why I started dreaming of simplifying my life and living in a small space, like a condo or apartment. 6-7 years of a braced, degenerating knee, while trying cortisone shots and that sort of thing, then shoulder surgery in 2015 after injuring it, then knee surgery in 2017 that took 15 months to heal, then re-injuring it; then knee surgery to revise it in 2019, but I couldn’t get it to heal, so kept needing to go back for PT. So I kept muttering about and dreaming about not having so much upkeep, since it hurt so much to keep cleaning & maintaining & such. And then finally this October my knee finally healed after finding the “Knees over Toes” guy on the Internet. Now I am finally able-bodied again, and can keep up with a big house! But, it’s too late -he filed for divorce in September.
Now I will get my wish, and I don’t even need it anymore! And I’m losing my home now. But I still don’t understand why we couldn’t use a cleaning service in the main areas every other week anyways if I felt hobbled. Then I could take care of the basement areas and the upstairs areas on those weeks.
But it’s not allowed -his family firmly believes that “a woman takes care of her own home”, as firmly as his parents believed that a man stayed out of the running of the home -that was “hers”; and as firmly as his dad believed that men don’t have to do any repairs or maintenance on their home. They just have to mow the grass. And men are supposed to make a mess, like tracking mud in. That’s how they act manly.

So now I’d rather not get divorced, I think. But I still have to accept that I am -and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Pav, I think that’s so cool that your son makes turkey pot pies! I have been buying them lately at a farm store for my daughter’s family when I go up there to babysit, and for my widowed brother to feed his three young teens. I think of you, and your son who likes hearty food, when I get them.

Take care out there, everyone, and stay healthy!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

nice and quiet here thank goodness, i am liking the solitude after xmas. I did go to the shops the other morning and thought i would beat the crowds and i did. i got there an hour and a half before the shops even opened! too keen for my own good ha ha. Yesterday was my Carls 3rd birthday so i took him and Bob to the pet shop to buy some treats, that was fun NOT. Bob isnt really into crowds so he wanted to go one way and carl wanted to mark his territory on everything. Glad us humans dont do that!

Wags, i am so glad you fur baby is ok. My daughter has a french bulldog and is having never ending problems with food going into his lungs and him being at the vets. he can get an operation in a month or so. these designer dogs are terrible and its sad to see. How old is your baby now? I am like you, very proud i can be together when needed.

Pav, sounds like you had a lovely xmas with the fam.
Lav, how are the family going? any more covid cases?

Kensho, our testing sites are miles long to be tested before going anywhere and then they are not getting their tests back so they cant get their flights, flights are cancelled as staff are furloughed, its a nightmare. my cousing is an air hostess and i asked if they have their masks fit tested and she said no. Very strange just to be wearing normal masks that really do nothing. We have been fit tested for 3 masks in the hospital that we have to wear at work. Maybe that is the way to go, we can all look like ducks!

in for some warm weather the next few days. I have a physio apt today and then i think i will stay inside. must get some watermelon and freeze it for the chooks.

Slo, thanks for the you tube guy, i will watch that. paying for physio each week takes it out of me i must say. my knee is pretty good but has its moments that want to bring me to my knees literally. I am glad your knee is much better. When do you move out of your house? You sound sad and i wish i could give you a hug and tell you it will be okay at some stage. Your house sounds huge, i have an open living/kitchen area and 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, one being an ensuite. thats hard enough to keep clean especially with two dogs.

my mother is tentatively talking to me on fb. she has lost a lot of weight so i am worried about her, she has an apt to get a colonoscopy/gastroscopy in January so i am happy she is making an effort.

take care all xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Chilly & damp here today, typical I guess.
Slowly but sure getting over this respiratory funk, whatever it is, yuck. Just checked with son &grandsons, they’re all better now. I have a half a mind to go into hiding forthe rest of the winter to avoid catching anything else, geez.

Great to see so many checking in today. We’re all doing pretty well despite the curveballs being tossed at us. I keep telling myself I can get over anything as long as I don’t give up trying, Let’s keep that positive mood moving forward.

Wishing everyone a cozy & safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all,

It sounds like everyone is hanging in there through all of the ups and downs of the holidays and covid and life. Sometimes things sure are hard, aren't they?

We are doing ok here. Our pup is stable and slowly improving. I'm so grateful to still have her with us and especially to see her still showing some spark or a will to live. I know the day will come, perhaps soon, when it's in her best interests to let her go. And I will do that even though it'll break my heart. But for now, if she's still wanting to go for walks and get belly rubs and have naps by the fireplace, then I am thrilled.

The thoughts about drinking have been frequent and strong - really catching me by surprise actually. I've found myself trying to bargain with myself, like "just one" or "just a light buzz for one night" etc. Stuff we've all experienced or heard others talk about. It has been interesting when I'm able to step back and analyze it.

The al voice is very crafty. It knows how to present it's most innocent appealing self. I mean "just one drink" or "just one night" is relatively easy to open the door to compared to a sales pitch of hangovers and blackouts. Al knows that if it came knocking as its authentic self, with the whole ugly truth attached, far fewer quits would get broken.

I've decided it's like the wolf in the "Little Red Riding Hood" story. I might have this wrong, but doesn't the wolf pretend to be a grandmother or something like that? Innocent and harmless, hoping they'll open the door and let him in? I think al is like that. I don't always need this much strategizing, but right now it's helping me to frame al as a crafty lying POS that's trying to dupe me and I'm gonna stand my ground.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

It sounds like you have the bad cold strain that young daughter had for the entire month of October, Lav. I knew a couple other people who had it then too -a 90-year-old guy, and 1-year-old grandson. It goes on way longer than most colds, gets into the chest, and involves a ton of mucus.

Your description of alcohol is quite accurate, Wags. Thank you for the refreshing metaphors and similes. Yes, drugging ourselves with it would feel good briefly. Ever so briefly, and then it becomes a monster.

Kensho, I too am strongly introverted, and need -absolutely NEED -to recharge by solitude. I wish I wasn’t wired this way, but I am. I inherited it from my Norwegian father. Meanwhile, three of my four daughters are extroverted, and re-charge by being with people. Life seems easier for the extroverts. But being introverted & intuitive does have its gifts; like your strong, creative design sense. Being introverted is actually what initially drove my drinking, as I used it as a way to become more social and act like an extrovert.

Sorry for all the word vomit yesterday. I didn’t intend to write all that, it just came up. I don’t have a huge house, Ava, but pretty big, as it’s designed to be a family home. (3000 sq. feet / 278 sq. meters) You may understand now that it was hard to parcel out how much “knee time” I had each day to be on my feet before it became painful & puffy; and how that wore on me over the years. I can recommend the Knees Over Toes exercises to you, but not yet. Wait until the recommended physio sessions are over, and your fracture part is fully healed. Then go slowly with them; just a few a day, every other day.

We had a beautiful snowfall all day yesterday! Got to get out shoveling and everything! Wishing you all a peaceful day in between holidays.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all Nesters,
Checking in...don't want to stray as there are always nuggets of gold to be found here. Like Wags post about how crafty AL is. I will try to envision the 'big bad wolf' if "one" sounds like a good idea. I've been having lots of thoughts I think because I don't have enough to do, or want to do. Slo, you are being a brave soul going through the divorce in this manner. How sad that even when your body was failing it sounds like hubs would not go for a cleaning service. I have a woman who comes once every 2 weeks and I always say "it is the best money I spend".

Wags, you are a wonderful pet mom. It is so hard to see them struggle, especially when they cannot verbalize what is wrong with them. Though it sounds like you have a good handle on her condition and can see the signs when she needs help. I was never able to think about the eventual day that we would have to escort Piper to the rainbow bridge, but that day did come and nothing could have prepared me for it. It's been almost 2 years and my son and I always talk about her and her funny antics. But we knew it was time, as hard as it was. I hope you have a lot more time with her.

When are you going to Colombia, Mr G? I have no idea what is going on with travel and covid because I'm not going anywhere.

Cousins from Kansas are coming this way today, well not to me but to my brother's house who is freaking out about the baby catching covid. He will allow no visitors unless they take a covid test first. We are basically banned from visiting because of daughter's mono, and the chance that son has it and is in the incubation phase (which I found out can be contagious). Mono is a tricky monster as unless you get alot of blood tests you never really know that you are not contagious anymore. There is no quick test for this, and I would feel horrible if we gave Amelia mono. She's a baby and everything goes in her mouth. Get too close and she may put her fingers in your mouth or up your nose..lol. Not worth the risk. So cousins can come here if they want to see us and are not afraid of the mono. The girls are 9 and 11 and know not to stick their fingers in our noses. We don't know how this is all going to play out. Taking it (like most things these days) a day at a time.

Off to have a mini conference call with a few ladies from work to plan out a compliance activity that needs to be carried out next year. But I like both of them so surely we'll have a lot of chit chat.