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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hi Nesters

    Feeling very glad to have got to the other side of 2021! Recent days sure haven't been free of the Al Voice for me, but I expect it to show itself out now the festive season's reached it's ''highpoint'' with NYE.

    Much reflection going on in my mind; posts about relationships (e.g. a la Slo) resonate strongly. Should I stay or should I go? I don't ask this flippantly, it's been deeply troubling me for some time.

    Asides from that, feeling optimistic about the year ahead, and wishing everyone all the very best for 2022.

    Onwards,
    Steady
    :heartbeat:
    AF free since April 29, 2013

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Lav - I was sad to learn of Betty White's passing too. She had a wonderful long life and did so many good things for people and animals. I think she also represented 'hope" that the good guys might still win. Of course that is asking her to carry too much, and our hope cannot fade just because she has died. If anything, the torch has been passed and we get to carry on.

      Kensho - so glad you are safe, but so sorry to hear about so much devastation.

      Steady - great to see you. I hope you're able to quiet that al voice soon AND that you're able to find your best way forward with your relationship questions.

      G - great way to frame things: we made it, and that's nothing to sneeze at.



      Well, I came within about an inch of drinking last night but I didn't. It's the closest I think I've come since I quit almost 5.5 years ago. I just wanted numbness, and I realized I don't know any other way to achieve that. I worked through several tools, including the 15-min delay (several times), reading back through the tool box here, distracting myself, playing it forward, imagining having to post here that I'd drank, etc. It finally got late enough that I could go to bed and count on falling asleep.

      Today was a new day and I felt a bit better (much better that I had NOT had a drink). I thought about what all is weighing me down and I outlined a few steps to help alleviate some of that. I focused on gratitude: I have a roof over my head, work that I really love, our pup is still with us after a scare.

      The thought of drinking passed briefly through my mind this evening but it was much easier to discard it. I think I'm back on solid ground.


      2022 here we come! Channeling good things for everyone.
      Toolbox/Toolkit

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        Re: Newbies Nest

        Here we are in 2022! I was grateful to not have to do any AL -related activities for New Years Eve, thanks to Covid exposure for one thing. Fell asleep early, didn’t watch any balls drop, and had a great sleep.

        I’m sorry the desire for AL has been so strong for you lately, Wags -or rather, the desire to be blanketed with the numbness. Hopefully addressing your stressors will help. And Steady too…
        I like Belle’s way of talking back out loud to her AL voice, and mocking it. Ava has a good one too: stuffing it into an imaginary box in her head and locking it up.
        Thankfully festive season is over after today, so AL won’t be so much on our minds and in our faces going forward.

        That mucus-y cold strain that you have, Lav, really knocked young daughter sideways too when she had it. And it ended up causing a sinus infection for her in week 3.
        A son-in-law has come down with Covid now, and unfortunately so has pregnant daughter. The people getting it test negative multiple times over days before finally testing positive, despite symptoms; so it looks like those at-home test kits are not very effective at picking up on the Omicron variant.

        I guess the Boulder fires were fueled by high winds…very scary that all of a sudden out of nowhere so much destruction can occur!

        Ava, I still wear a knee brace. My knee just isn’t comfortable without the extra support. But I can heartily recommend the Back On Track physio knee brace.

        It’s supposed to snow tonight!
        Last edited by Slo; January 1, 2022, 05:31 PM.
        Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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          Re: Newbies Nest

          Happy New Years Nesters,

          We made it, we’re here together in 2022!!!
          I know we’re knee deep in covid still but I have a strong feeling the year will be better than the last few. Let’s all hang in there together
          Dark & damp here still &it went up to 57 degrees, crazy. I guess winter is holding off for some reason.

          Ava, by all mean listen to your knee. It will tell you when you’re stressing it too much.
          I hope work is not too crazy when you get back. The hospitals around here are overloaded once again, sad.

          Steady, you did great ignoring the AL voice, keep doing that

          Wags, sounds like you put up a good fight too, good for you! I can honestly tell you at some point you will lose the automatic voice once & for all. I think it takes a long time to rewire our brains but we once we do everything is easier. The old habit of wanting to numb feelings no longer serves us & we find better alternative ways to comfort ourselves. Keep doing what you did last nightg, it’s working!!

          Slo, neither of us had any fever related to this cold thing so I feel it wasn’t Covid. I do wonder about the accuracy of the home tests. Trying to get a test done somewhere is nearly impossible around here lately.
          I’m grateful to be feeling a whole lot better now. Enjoy your snow, we’re still getting rain here.

          Hello to everyone else & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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            Re: Newbies Nest

            Hi, All:

            So sorry to hear about that struggle, Wags. I think about just feeling loose like that again sometimes, but luckily I have the memory of the horrible horrible hangovers to persuade me that the short time of bliss is not worth it at all. I am so so glad you didn't drink, and I hope you use us any time you need it.

            We had a mellow NYE - and another good hike today. I think I've gotten in something like 30 miles this week - it feels so great to get out and about in the fresh air and rain or sunshine! I really don't want to go back to work.

            Happy 2022 all. I hope we can all find some peace and acceptance, as well as the motivation to work toward positive change.

            x
            Pav

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              Re: Newbies Nest

              Wishing all you Nesters a VERY Happy New Year. Blessings x
              Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

              Comment


                Re: Newbies Nest

                Happy New Year to you too, Techie! I hope you’re feeling better!

                I’m so glad that you were able to use your break to get outdoors so much and sleep in, Pav! It will be hard to go back to work and be stuck inside a building all day.

                I have been doing similar: sleeping, lounging by the fire, and taking gorgeous dog walks each day. Well, not much else one can do while in a Covid lockdown; living with someone who is Covid-positive, and trying not to get it myself!
                More people are falling ill after our Christmas Eve gathering: HB’s sister with dementia tested positive for Covid yesterday, and 91-year-old Uncle Don has symptoms now too. And that despite all the careful pre-testing beforehand!
                A couple of the people now have tested positive and then developed symptoms afterwards…so maybe the test kits do work, if done properly? I don’t know. I did one of the kits last night and tested negative, for what that’s worth.

                Young daughter is here too, and she has been a delight to have home. She has to go back to college tomorrow already though, for swim team. I don’t think you have Covid either, Lav; I think you have the cold strain that was here in the Fall. It probably went on for so long in young daughter because she has to jump in a cold swimming pool every day and train hard. And it probably lasted so long in the other two people I knew who had it because of being on the rather extreme ends of the age spectrum (a 1 y/o and a 90 y/o). Glad you’re on the mend!

                [MENTION=19460]STEADFAST[/MENTION], I’m sorry to hear that you’re in that indecisive place with your significant other, and I hope the right answer reveals itself in this new year.

                We are blanketed with snow here! Enjoy your Sundays or holiday Mondays.
                Last edited by Slo; January 2, 2022, 07:44 AM.
                Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

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                  Re: Newbies Nest

                  I love that you are out hiking PAV. 30 miles is impressive! We started watching a new Will Smith show last night and it reminded me how amazing nature is. Not only do we need it, it's downright fascinating. I also am dreading the grind of work tomorrow. I am grateful that I have a lot of work, but am tired of the same old thing.

                  Wags, pease don't drink! It's so fleeting. That 1 hour of escape is NOT worth the hours and hours of pain. You have made such great progress with your career, caring for your family and you have become such a grounded, balanced voice. The crappy feeling that is following so many of us around right now will still be there when that hour wears off. We just have to get through it. What's something totally different that you have not done before? Could you distract yourself and shock your system with something new? Also, are you watching news? I took a break and it helped me immensely. Also, helping others who need it has been such an amazing thing for perspective in the past. Do you have an opportunity to volunteer for anything - even if it's just for 20-30 min? Any new hobbies? I have distracted myself lately with researching gardening, bee-keeping, reiki... keeps my mind off the monotony.

                  Slo, interesting about the home tests not showing for days. I wonder if we all had Covid and didn't know it. We are all boosted except my daughter so it could have been mild.

                  I'm doing some yoga this morning, then laundry, groceries, hemming my daughter's pants and whatever else I can tackle before work hits tomorrow.

                  Remember everyone, just get through this day. I do believe brighter days are ahead!
                  Kensho

                  Done. Moving on to life.

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                    Re: Newbies Nest

                    Happy new year nester's!

                    Great work Wags. You used your toolbox of er, the toolbox, also distraction techniques. You did it and slayed that dragon. This can serve to make you even more of a badass.

                    Friend Kensho is another Badass 'round here. Badasses everywhere on this thread now i think of it.

                    Feel better soon Lav. Big waves to evabody. Surf's up!

                    'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                    Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                    Comment


                      Re: Newbies Nest

                      Good evening Nesters,

                      We had a mostly cloudy day with a few pops of sun & it went to 63 degrees. Overnight the temp will be dropping drastically & we’re supposed to get measurable snow, haha! My chickens will certainly be in shock tomorrow. I don’t have to go anywhere so it’s OK with me.

                      Pav, after all that outdoor time I guess you really don’t want to go back to the office. I hope you have a good week.

                      Techie, Happy New Year to you as well!

                      Slo, I’ve been concerned about my grandsons going back into the highly Covid affected local schools but it looks. Like they may not have school if it snows a lot. I am so glad to be at the end of this cold, it was a nasty one. Hope your daughter does well going back to school.

                      Kensho, you sound busy & that’s not a bad thing. I believe brighter days are just ahead too

                      G, hello to you & I think I’m going to live, thanks

                      Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

                      Lav
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                      Comment


                        Re: Newbies Nest

                        Lav - glad you're feeling better. I hope your grandsons don't have to go back to school until it's safe to do so.

                        Slo - hope your daughter's return to school goes smoothly and safely too.

                        G - yep, working on my dragon slayer's badge right now!

                        Kensho - great suggestions for shoring up my quit, thanks so much for sharing so many ideas. You've given me some helpful food for thought.


                        I taught today but have tomorrow off. Well, except for a consultation with a potential new student -- those are always fun so not really work. Hope you all have fantastic starts to the new week, new month, and new year!
                        Toolbox/Toolkit

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                          Re: Newbies Nest

                          Evening nesters

                          Well back to work for me tomorrow, i normally go into work on a Wednesday but having my booster on Thursday so will go in then. The health service is a shit show so its going to be another year of doing stuff, then redoing stuff, then doing stuff then redoing it.

                          Our PM today said he doesnt want to make rapid testing kits free, well that should spread covid rather nicely i feel. Been carrying us tax payers too much obviously. the testing stations are just overflowing with people but i cant see us buying them, i know i wont.

                          Wags, i hope you have gotten over your funk and life is smiling down on you again. When i went to visit Jasper i was talking to my SIL who was my biggest drinking buddy and i said to her that if Jasper could live if i drank then i would guzzle the stuff but it wont and i didnt though i did have those thoughts especially in such a sad stressful situation. Its just not worth it.

                          Steady, only you can decide what to do and what is best for you. i do know you have spoken on this before and maybe its time. I think we get to an age where we deserve to be happy ourselves. Hopefully soon we can all meet up for lunch again.

                          My next door neighbour came over the other day and told me i was always welcome to visit for a chat (problem is you never get away), he is worried as i am at home alone. OMG, as i said to him, i have had company for 35 years with my kids, i love the peace and quiet, i can do what i want, when i want and its heaven. He is a lovely neighbour though and i am very lucky to have him next door and his wife makes great food.

                          Pav, thats a lot of hiking, i can now walk a big block for 30 mins with the boys and my knee gets niggling about 5 minutes before home. it is great to get out finally and just with my knee taped.

                          Slo, i hate the knee brace, i admire you for wearing it for that amount of time. the velcroe did me, sticking where it wasnt supposed to, frustrating! Hope you are feeling ok.

                          Time for bed for me, my friend flies back tomorrow from the UK, dependent on a negative covid test. He gets in at midnight on Wednesday i think.

                          take care xx
                          AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                            Re: Newbies Nest

                            Hi, All:

                            Back to work today amidst swirling COVID. Our cases are WAY up, but thankfully only .06 percent of hospitalized people are vaccinated. We are lucky to have had access to the vaccine and even a booster shot. Take it easy out there.

                            Kensho, those fires were terrifying. Glad everyone you know is safe. You got some snow, right? Enough? I'm so grateful we finally got some rain/snow here this winter.

                            Steady, take care of yourself also. I'm sorry your relationship is not good. Luckily you're sober to try to figure it out.

                            Big waves from here, too, Mr. G and everyone.

                            Happy SOBER Monday,
                            Pav

                            Comment


                              Re: Newbies Nest

                              It’s January, and back to business as usual now that the holidays are over!

                              That’s a good point, Kensho; that it’s the monotony that can drive us back to wanting to drink. We have to make space to find novelty and delights and relaxation in other ways as part of our quit plans. Good reminder.

                              Actually I don’t wear the awful bulky knee braces anymore, Ava. I wear a Back On Track soft knee sleeve that provides extra support, and has healing properties embedded into it.

                              Daughter is heading back to college only to swim. The dorms and the cafeteria are still closed, so she’ll be camping out on the floor in the house of some senior swimmers, and getting a taste of what off-campus living is like. She is taking her car back too. I hope the roads aren’t too icy in this 0 degree F weather that we’re having.
                              I head up today to babysit Mabel for a couple days! Going from one sick house to another, as young daughter and oldest daughter both have colds. Hopefully the grandchildren will be sickness-free for a change.

                              I am relieved to hear that you feel ok about living alone, Ava. I’m feeling kind of scared about it. I was wondering if your friend got back from the UK yet! Almost!
                              Last edited by Slo; January 3, 2022, 09:53 AM.
                              Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

                              Comment


                                Re: Newbies Nest

                                Pav, yes. we got snow. It was a welcome change from the 100 mph winds that were fueling the fire. But now those people returning to their houses are finding snow on top of ashes. I'm sure they want any momento they can find and it is cold and wet. Sort of weird to have winter actually - I forgot what snow was like!

                                Ava, you continue to amaze me with your attitude. When things are not peachy, we must trudge forward, focusing on what we have - not what we don't. Weird about the home tests not being paid for; you'd think more information would be better. I'm sure glad to be poked, since 99%+ of the hospitalizations and deaths are with unvaccinated people, worldwide. It's been such a needless stress on our healthcare systems and jump in deaths, with all the mis-information.

                                Wags, good luck with your new student interview. I have to call back my potential new house and am dreading it - not because it's not a great project, but because it will be a LOT of work. Which I've been avoiding for 2 weeks now.

                                Time for Kensho to get back to work! And balance parenting two kids who really don't have much drive! Still not sure how to tackle that one.

                                Best to everyone.
                                Last edited by KENSHO; January 3, 2022, 09:55 AM.
                                Kensho

                                Done. Moving on to life.

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