Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, I haven't read back yet but I will. Thanks for all your kind words of support and understanding. Unfortunately, my aunt has been moved to comfort care and is expected to pass any day now. She fought hard, but it got to be too much. My cousin said my aunt told her she "didn't want to do this anymore" and that she's "ready to go." My cousins had a last visit with her tonight. I'm super sad, and not too surprised. I also am relieved she will soon be free.

I'll be back soon and I will catch up on everything you all have shared over the past week or two.

I won't drink cuz I don't drink.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Wags, I’m so sorry about your aunt. She’s fought hard & it’s exhausting. Over my career I saw lots of people get to that stage (my own Mom included) & they just don’t want to fight anymore. I always figured it was their choice to make. We can be supportive & assure they are as comfortable as possible.
Please take care of yourself & I know you won’t drink :hug:

Hello to everyone & hoping you’re all doing OK.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

Signing in from a small coastal town. Brought Mr (Un)Steady here for a week's relaxation, but it doesn't seem to have achieved much. I don't want to be mean & critical, he's not a bad guy, just in the grips of addiction, and grumpy as hell.

As Ava mentioned, it's such a relief that the humidity we were experiencing in Melbourne has ceased. Ava, it's a shock when someone of 60 yrs has a stroke, isn't it. Hope your old work colleague is recovering well. Although I'm over the politicisation of the pandemic, I am looking forward to our two elections this year, interesting times!

Wagmor, I'm sorry about your Aunt.

Belle and NoSugar, I have been wanting to knit for years, must definitely give it a go come winter. It's something to do with the hands that can be done while listening to music or watching tv, which would be great.

Thanks for sharing the pics of Bogota, Mr G. Funny, it looks just like I imagined it would. Enjoy! Yep, it would be great to see you and Ava when you're back.

Slo, with each day that passes you're getting nearer to your new life!

Lavande, I love your posts. Always so atmospheric, with the details about the weather, the garden, cooking etc. And the advice you give people is always spot on! I hope your eye is ok.

I'm going to (hopefully) post this now. For some reason I have difficulty with this site. Either that or my laptop is playing silly buggers.

Sober & Onwards,
Steady x

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Steady, where are you visiting, i hope you decide what is best with Mr Steady, we all need some peace in our lives.

Slo, sending you hugs, its an awful time what you are going through but you a strong beautiful person and you will get through this. Oh i cant wait for a g-baby but the kids have other ideas, they know i will be so in their faces ha ha. Yes i will be thank you children! i think they are scared to be the first one.

Wags, sending you hugs also at this sad time for you and your family.

My sons friend turned up at my door yesterday with his suitcase saying his mum kicked him out, her fault of course. i told him he was not staying with me anymore while he is on drugs, i dont enable. he said of course that he is trying and he is giving up drugs (tomorrow which never comes for some of us). I had him last November and he has not gone to outpatient rehab, not joined NA, not found a support network and just lies. My son was going to take him and i advised him not too, he needs to realise the hurt that he causing others. I was sad to say no but i like my quite life now and if i could see he was really serious then i would bend over backwards. His last rock bottom was an OD on heroin and i really thought he would stop drugs but a few months after rehab he started on and off again until he is now addicted to xanax which he gets off the web somehow. I hope he gets help and realises that this is all his choice. When i was listening to him yesterday, i thought, wow those excuses used to be mine. I did get in contact with his mum who is just exhausted from living with an addict but she is devastated. i offered my support and help if she needs.

TFIF tomorrow, my ankle is getting better so i am going to start walking again on Monday. i have ordered support socks that will fit my walking shoes. knee is working a treat so life is moving up.

Lav, i love reading your posts too, i would move in with you tomorrow if you would have me ha ha.

take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good early morning! I decided to stay overnight again at daughter & son-in-law’s house, and will leave to go home this morning.

I took Mabel on a little car trip yesterday to visit my brother & sis-in-law who live 45 minutes away from here, because I know my brother has Wednesdays off of work. We had a nice visit and a nice lunch!
I had reached out to my siblings last year, including these two, about our other brother’s severe alcohol addiction, and how bad it has gotten. The reason being, after other brother had committed suicide the year before, I didn’t want to ignore warning signs I was seeing anymore, and we need to talk about these things.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Hi Wags. Sorry to hear about your Aunt. I hope she's as comfortable as possible. Take care of yourself too.

Hi Slo. It is indeed so hard to watch our loved ones or people in our circle suffer, on that crazy and deadly hampster wheel that is reliance on a drug that is killing us. As we know, our reality becomes distorted 24/7 along with a depressive negative mental loop. We often don't see the full scope and good stuff that life has waiting for us if we only decide to choose it.

Ava, i really wish for that young man to decide to change, and to realise that life can be so much bigger and better than the narrow, blinkered depressing world he has created for himself. He's the boss, not external factors. Support groups like N.A. will be excellent in driving these basics home to him. 7 days a week meetings in metro melbourne free of charge. Or, 24/7 online meetings via zoom. As we know to well, it's up to him. Sometimes we need more pain before we change, but the problem with that can be we don't make it through if we don't stop. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, least of all if one is actively relying on drugs/al. Hope he wakes up. Good news on the ankle.

Speaking of walking, I forgot to pack my comfy sandals for the hotter climes i'm experiencing here. Dayum. It'll have to be me holy, make that holey old running shoes for todays trek at a fresh water river out of town. If this is my biggest problem........

Big waves to evabody. Surf's up! Yo!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

View from my balcony in Cali Colombia.

Cali 3 accom 22.jpg

Cali 2 feb 22.jpg

Cali feb 22.jpg

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello All,

Slo, you have so much going on in your life, with hb and siblings. I did not know you have a brother that committed suicide and another with severe alcohol addiction. I'm thinking of you and sending strength. I love to stay overnight at my brother's place (which, lol, is 1/3 mine) and get to spend time with Amelia. It makes so many other problems melt away for a while. Glad you are able to do those things.

I too love Lav's meteorological updates...but usually they are the same as mine are. It's good to get a personalized weather report here!

Mr G...your photos make me long for another trip to Colombia. However, and idk if the situation has improved, but the stark contrast between the rich and poor in Colombia is devastating. It is like there is no middle class. But the people are warm and beautiful. Enjoy your time there. I have not been to Cali, and my dream is to go to Cartagena. How much traveling around the country will you be doing? And is it safe to travel outside of cities? We know that my son's birth family are from Pensilvania in the State of Caldas. (Funny...he chose to go to college in Pennsylvania in the US) Coffee growing country. However he's not much for coffee himself. If you find yourself anywhere near that region I would love to see photos.

Ava, glad things are improving for you leg-wise!

Wags, sending comforting thoughts out to you and your aunt. It is so hard to watch someone say they are done. But their wishes should be respected, and you are doing great.

Better quit the babble and get to work. I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good early morning! I decided to stay overnight again at daughter & son-in-law’s house, and will leave to go home this morning.

I took Mabel on a little car trip yesterday to visit my brother & sis-in-law who live 45 minutes away from here, because I know my brother has Wednesdays off of work. We had a nice visit and a nice lunch!
I had reached out to my siblings last year, including these two, about our other brother’s severe alcohol addiction, and how bad it has gotten. The reason being, after other brother had committed suicide the year before, I didn’t want to ignore warning signs I was seeing anymore, and we need to talk about these things.

Only half my post posted! To continue, this brother & sis-in-law didn’t respond to my message at all! The others pretty much ignored it as well, so I let the matter rest. But now little brother’s in-laws (the parents of his deceased wife and grandparents of his children) have just reached out to this brother & sister-in-law about the exact same thing, and for the same reason: trying to spur our side of the family into some action on this -on behalf of their grandchildren who are being neglected.
I hope they understand now that I wasn’t exaggerating, nor sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong. This really is a problem! The only thing is, we don’t know what to do about it.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m in the sick house babysitting. Thought things were fine, as the little family didn’t seem to be sick for a rare change! The Mabel started in with a little clear fluid starting to drain out of her nose on Tuesday. Not that big of a deal, right? But she developed a cough overnight. I foolishly still took her to visit my brother & sister-in-law. She was sick yesterday with an occasional deep cough and some snotty congestion in her nose. So we kept her home from swim lessons last night.
But daughter was very, very tired last night. She woke up this morning feeling sick, so she did 3 home Covid tests…and they were all positive!

So it’s my immune system in battle with the germ factory again, and I think I’m losing this time.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I had also said something along the lines of:

Kudos to you, Ava, on the way you handled your young addict friend this time. He has to do his part too, and he is not. Nice that you can support his mother.

Wags, sometimes when one longtime spouse dies, the other one follows shortly thereafter. I’m glad your quit is back to feeling stable again as you go through this.
It’s a hard time for you & your cousins.

Lav, I so look forward to your posts too!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Another nice day in Lav-land, I’ll leave it at that, haha!!Truly the weather does affect me in many ways, especially on the dark/no sun days.
Saw the eye doc again today & with some scans she’s decided I didn’t have any blood vessel damage, thank goodness. I may have had a possible viral herpes type infection back in December that caused to corneal scar. So I’m going next Tuesday to see a corneal specialist & see if he has any recommendations. Sounds like a good plan.

Wags, thinking about you & your family.

Ava, glad you knee & ankle are improving. That’s sad about the young man but we do know that he needs to commit himself to quitting for good. Getting him to NA would really be the best thing for him. I hope he chooses to go have a good life.

Steady, thanks for your words & I would love it if we all lived closer.
I hope you can enjoy your getaway. Maybe leave Mr Grumpy sit by himself while you go shopping, exploring or something

G, sorry about the sandals, maybe you can find a bargain somewhere. The pics are great, thanks for posting them. Stay safe & have fun

Belle, I hope you had a great day!

Slo, oh boy, sorry about the viruses all around you. I hope Mabel & your daughter heal up quickly. Sounds like you’ll soon be nursing the whole family back to health. These are the times when we are so grateful to be clear headed & useful. I have a brother with a chronic drinking problem too but he won’t let anyone talk to him. He blew me off many years ago when I attempted to talk to him & called me an extreme bitch - so I no longer bother. It’s their choice in the end & I won’t take the abuse.

Hello to all if I missed anyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

My aunt passed away later that same night. To me this says she was really ready to go. I am grateful she is no longer suffering or struggling. We lost a bright light for sure -- she was one of the good ones on this planet! My biggest concern is for my cousins (her daughters), especially the older one. Their dad died just last summer so this is quite a difficult period of life for them. And the younger one had a brain tumor as a very young child (has had many surgeries) and developmentally is probably about like a 10 year old. I honestly think this is part of why my aunt was tired, even though she did everything from a place of love. Now my older cousin has a tremendous amount on her shoulders while also trying to grieve the loss of both parents. My heart goes out to her.

I will be back here in the nest soon. Looks like I've got to catch up on many developments with all of you. I will see you in a few days nest-mates. Thank you again for your support.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo, I hope you can escape COVID again but you definitely are surrounded by it. I hope everyone recovers completely and quickly.

I'm sorry for the loss of your aunt, Wags. It sounds like you understand what your cousin is facing and can be a source of support.

Glad to hear you're walking better, Ava. I am also - just some residual knee pain. But wouldn't you know it, a long-term neuropathic itching condition I have flared up :cuss:. It may be a post viral condition (similar to shingles) although it has never been definitively diagnosed. It makes life tough and if I'm not careful, I scratch until I BLEED. I see the Dr on Monday but in the meantime, I'm using Lidocaine spray to numb myself!

Speaking of numbing, I'm so glad not to be doing that to my mind anymore. I've spent the last week w/ grandsons. They come home each late afternoon just about the same time cravings would drive me to start drinking... What a nightmare this would be if I were still addicted!!

Have a good AF weekend, Nesters!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Sorry I've been MIA. Yes, a lot going on, but I also changed up my morning routine and now I don't know where to fit in posting here. I think about you all a lot!

Wags, I'm sorry about your aunt. I am sending you and your cousins lots of love. Your older cousin IS in a challenging situation - I hope she gets some help. Take care of yourself and let us know if you need anything.

Mr. G - happy travels. South America is definitely on my bucket list. I love seeing the pictures.

Slo, sorry that you're down. The condo seems lovely and exciting, but of course you're still grieving a loss. And now COVID?? I hope you weather it ok, and your family also.

Lav that pork sounds good. I might have to try an instapot - sounds perfect for weeknights.

Ava, sorry about the ankle, and thanks for sharing your good boundary setting. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Hi, Steady. Good luck with Mr. Steady.

I love hearing about all of the grandkids, nieces and nephews. My nephew is 30 and has a serious girlfriend, so I think they're our best bet for a wee one soon. Too bad they live on the east coast.

I have had a few thoughts of booze lately - how that one glass would help me relax and feel so good. But I know that is a false promise because it all goes down hill after that. Fortunately, thoughts are just thoughts. There is no way I'm going to drink again because I don't drink. I sill can't believe that was me 8+ years ago. It feels like a dream. I have a lot going on in work and personal life, but Ill get through it.

Kensho, Belle, NoSugar, and everyone else, TGIF!

x
Pav